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Origami Around
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@daddyisastateofmind
truly the line between decadence and depression is so thin. am I lying in bed with my cat drinking wine and watching TV bc I am having a Dionysian night of indulgence or because of the Depressions depriving me of motivation to do things I love? impossible to say
shanebug multipack :)
im like if everything was wrong with a person
*turns my attention inwards* mmmmm. no *turns my attention back outwards* oh god
I GOT A FUCKING RAISE THE POTATO WORKED WTF
This potato works. Every. Fucking. Time.
Then bring me luck
the day after I posted this last time I was notified that I was selected for a really cool mentorship gig and got an unrelated glowing review at work
Hey Potato, cure my -ing cold so I can have a good time while away.
Here's the potato. Make what use of it you will. :)
love my downward spiral :) #myspiral #descending
both of them are me
Headcanon on why Ilya started to call Shane random russian words as pet names. Spoiler alert: it was bc it was sexy
A/N: It seems I really like messing around with languages when it comes to Hollanov. This fic was powered by google translate and the time before my edible hit. I've added in translations, but let me know if they are incorrect, or if the formatting is off.
Shane is lying back on his bed with Ilya propped up above him and slowly fingering him open. Lifting his head from where he was nibbling on Shane's neck, he dragged his lips up and start whispering russian words into his ear.
It's only been a few months post-cottage so while Shane is proud of the progress he is making, his comprehension of the language is not the greatest. But it's enough that Ilya will sometimes switch to russian in the middle of a conversation and see if Shane can work out the meaning.
Ilya's stomach flutters every time he remembers that he can test Shane like this - that the person he loves, loves him in return enough to try and understand Ilya's native tongue.
Shane manages shake off the fog of fuck yes fuck that's good fuck yes yes yes to parcel out the words Ilya just said
"Ty sobirayesh'sya eto vzyat'?"
You going...take
He's saying i'm gonna take something?
Before Shane can respond, Ilya continues, "Ty sobirayesh'sya prinyat' moyego khuy, kak malen'kaya shlyushka?"
You going...??...my...??...as a small...???
Am I going to what? Take? Receive? Suck? Touch? Cum?
Going to something to something of his - am I only getting his fingers? Does he want me to suck his cock? Does he want me to cum on him? Is he asking that I touch him somewhere?
As a little something? What did he call me? A whore? A fag? A cocksucker? A champ? A sweetheart? Did he just call me a canadian slur?
God, Shane wishes his online courses included more dirty word segments. He's been watching movies with russian dialogue and english subtitles - maybe he should start watching porn videos in russian too? Does russian porn come with english subtitles? Will he even be able to find any gay russian porn?
Shane gently pushes Ilya away and shakes his head. "What?"
Ilya's lips pull back into a sharky smile "Ty menya ne ponimayesh', lyubov?"
You me not understand, love?
"No," Shane whimpered "What did you say?"
"Aw, ty chto, ne ponimayesh', chto ya nazyvayu tebya shlyushka?" Ilya says before pressing a chaste kiss against Shane's mouth. Aw, you don't understand that I'm calling you a slut?
Shane doesn't bother trying to translate "Ilya"
Ilya places another chaste kiss against his collarbone before pulling back to stare at Shane with a toothy smile. One that Shane learned to take as an omen that Ilya was about to have fun at his expense.
"Ya mogu nazyvat' tebya kak ugodno, da?" I can call you I want, yes?
Shane whined "Tell me what you're saying..."
Taking his fingers gently out of Shane's ass, he started to place kisses down his chest.
"Ya chto, nazyvayu tebya moya suka?" Kiss Am I calling you my bitch?
"Ili moya vozlyublennyy?" Kiss Or my beloved?
"Moya gryaznaya malen'kaya dyrochka?" Kiss My dirty little hole?
Ilya shifted so he was between Shane's legs and his mouth hovering above his cock. He giggled softly to himself before placing kisses on Shane's balls as he spoke "Mne dazhe ne nuzhno starat'sya byt' seksual'noy. Ya mogu nazvat' tebya liftom, i ty dazhe ne poymesh'.." I don't even have to try to be sexy. I could call you an elevator and you wouldn't even understand.
"Ilya, please" Shane wasn't sure what he was begging for - for Ilya to translate what he's saying, or for Ilya to shut up altogether and use his mouth to start sucking instead.
Ilya did wrap his lips around Shane's dick and started to blow him, but pulled off after a couple of seconds. "Ya mog by nazvat' tebya divanom." I could call you a sofa.
Lips back to sucking him off for a couple of seconds, before pulling back again. "Moya malen'kiy kusochek khleba" My little piece of bread
He went back to sucking off Shane, and pulled off yet again.
"Moya zubnaya shchetka" Back to sucking Shane My toothbrush
"Moya dver'" Back to sucking Shane My door
"Moya khokkeynaya mayka" Back to sucking Shane My hockey jersey
"Moy cherdak" My attic
His lips just grazed the tip of before pulling back again with a chuckle "Nyet, ya dumayu, ty budesh' podval" Back to sucking. No, I guess you would be the basement.
Ilya settled into this new rhythm, satisfied with his new method of tormenting Shane in bed.
Shane held onto Ilya's curls and tried not to moan too loud so that he could still hear Ilya's words.
He distantly thought that if he memorize some of the words he could look them up later. But each time he tried to catch a word, his brain would be wiped clean each time Ilya made his lips extra tight around the head of his cock.
Shane eventually gave up. He would just have to suffer watching straight russian porn to tell if his boyfriend was calling him a cum dumpster or not.
"Moya romashka" My daisy
"Moya podushka" My pillow
"Moya malen'kaya biblioteka"
Shane's head shot up at the familiar sounding word.
"Wait, did you just call me a fucking library?!"
Post TLG, Shane and Ilya get weird questions and attention of people saying they don't "look" gay and questioning their identities. In retaliation, Harris starts a TikTok trend. It's pretty simple: he goes up to a (gay) player, says "wait, you're gay? But you don't look gay 🤨," and they do something in response. Luca looks bewildered at the camera for a moment before playing Lady Gaga from his phone and doing little dance moves with his hands. Harris catches Troy for the video as he's putting on his winter clothes to leave the rink, so he responds by flicking the tail of his scarf dramatically over one shoulder and silently strutting away while Harris cracks up behind the camera. Shane gives the camera his flattest, most unamused stare before giving a textbook z-snap and lookjng back at his phone. Ilya instantly falls into a perfect death drop on the ice with one skate in the air
lmao Shane hitting Harris with a
I promised myself to use this blog as a way to scream into the void.
So painful thought of the day : the times I spent as a kid looking after my younger cousins is going to be the only time I will ever experience anything similar to motherhood in my lifespan
get in loser we’re gonna try again despite it all
Sidney Crosby has the power to do the funniest thing ever and accept a role in heated rivalry s2.
Preferably as Coach Weibe
I have a NEED to see Hollanov bringing the rivalry back in a All Stars game post-TLG.
Like playing on the same team and occasionally the same line is amazing. They are so in sync and can keep up with each other - it's great!
So a year when the league decides to make them captains of different teams at the All Stars one year, makes both Shane's and Ilya's competitiveness goes brrr. Fuck the Stanley cup - they both have never needed to win as badly as they do that weekend.
And All Stars is just for one weekend - at the end of it, they go back to being teammates. So they savour this opportunity be rivals if only for a short while.
And I don't want it to be nice! Like during their hook up era and their somewhat long distance relationship years, they were so desperate to enjoy the scant hours they could together, that it turned into explosive sex.
So I want explosive hockey - dirty hits and plays, checks into the boards that make the glass crack. I want the broadcasters hoping the mics don't pick up the sound as they scream every curse word in 3 languages they know at each other, Ilya making chirps at Shane that go low, and Shane replying with stats and exact times when Ilya made embarrassing mistakes. I want them to be yelling at goalies and breaking sticks in frustration. I want the audience to be genuinely concerned about the state of their marriage.
Hell I want them to drop gloves and tussle a bit. Like Ilya's team are up by 1 towards the end of the game, and Ilya is being his cocky asshole self, and makes some joke that makes Shane see red. He has dropped gloves and his fist is mid-swing towards Ilya's chin before he even realises he is going to punch HIS HUSBAND!!! And it's too late to stop.
Luckily Ilya is used to provoking hockey players into taking a swing, so is able to dodge enough that Shane hits his shoulder instead. But then Ilya's own instincts kick in and before he knows it he's got Shane's collar in a fist.
They whole scuffle just dissolves into pushing and screaming at each other.
Did you really just take a swing at me, Hollander?!
Well, I wouldn't have if you weren't being such a dick!
So I beat you in a game and you decide to just punch me instead?
You haven't won yet asshole! Plus that last goal shouldn't have counted! That ref is just blind to your team's obvious goalie interfer-
And the whole stadium just stops cause whoa. These are the first husbands of hockey. They spend their interviews and social media posts talking how much they love each other. Wtf is even happening?
Eventually their teammates wake up and gently pull them away from each other.
But then they confuse everyone further - bc after the game they just go back to normal without a word said about it. Ilya is ducking into Shane's team locker room when the game is done and they go back to fluffy lovey dovey nonsense.
Oh moya lyubov, you were so good out there!
Not as good as you babe. Congrats on the win
Yes yes, but that your goal in the first period? soooo sexy
Yuna, Harris, & Farah team up against them and force them to record a video explaining that yes they are ok, no they don't hate each other, their marriage / home life is perfectly fine, but the game just got away from them.
Shane is very sorry he swung at Ilya. Ilya understands that Shane can sometimes care way too much about hockey, and accepts the apology. But not before leveraging it to get Shane to agree to let Ilya spank him in return 😈😈
this too shall pass but the fuck was that for
