Smimon

22 | DID | Representing The Council of Insufferable Bastards and the Excitable Bitches Committee

[scarlet48]

[herowyn]

5 0    Y E A R S    A G O

[rarebird22]

Almost 57 years ago!

[house-of-mirrors]

Post about increasingly niche stuff that nobody follows you for and barely has a tumblr presence NOW

[house-of-mirrors]

That indie game no one else has played. That show from the 1980s that isn't big in the pop culture osmosis. Your deep dive into Tudor history. A liveblog of your experience learning C++. Your welding skills. Post all of it. This is your house

[tzikeh]

More examples of the WORST mansplaining here.

[useyourblinker]

This might be my favorite

[lotsofcatsandcheapwine]

This is mine

[stockyardsyndrome]

[pukicho]

I heard they’re killing you at work tomorrow

[dramatic-dolphin]

i love that the part of bees' hind legs where they collect the pollen is actually called "pollen basket" because whenever i see a bee who has visibly collected a ton of pollen i do say "look, her basket is full!!" good to know everyone before me has thought the same thing too.

[huffylemon]

[triviallytrue]

aren't gorillas gentle giants or something. i stay out of his way, he doesn't maul me, we have a nice time picking out clothes together in opposite sides of the mall

[friendshapedhole]

Male gorillas are super aggressive and territorial. Also they interpret nearly every human mannerism as a sign of aggression or a challenge. Smiling and eye contact are both things that zookeepers have to be taught to suppress when they’re in the vicinity of gorillas.

[triviallytrue]

Well unless the mall is his native territory I think I'm fine, I wasn't planning on smiling at him

[max1461]

This is all irrelevant because the obvious answer is five black mambas. I mean, that’s not actually very many snakes, and malls are fucking huge. And unlike a gorilla you can definitely outrun a snake if it does show up. Find an open space in the mall where you can see any snake coming and just hangout out there. Fucking easy.

[triviallytrue]

Misguided! I would much rather have a mallmate I can easily see and hear coming. I'm confident I can stay out of the gorilla's way, but if I step on a snake or one otherwise gets the jump on me, it's all over.

It's not just about the physical danger either, it's about my mental health. One gorilla, unless he's actively mad at me, I just keep a healthy distance between us and make sure I never get trapped. With the snakes, it requires a lot more constant vigilance

[ghostpalmtechnique]

They should substitute "chimpanzee" for "gorilla" in this hypothetical.

[triviallytrue]

if it was a chimp i'm taking the fucking snakes

[notwiselybuttoowell]

Black mambas have a reputation build on being very venomous and very fast. I'm not sure why you would think you could outrun one (or five) in an enclosed space like a mall.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

Malls usually have pretty slick floors, and escalators. I’d choose the gorilla simply because I think that would make an more interesting story (and a better-selling autobiography, I Survived the Mall Gorilla) but I think I’d stand a pretty good chance at avoiding the mamba. They’re fast and aggressive and will chase you but unless we started immediately beside each other I think my sneakers would have the terrain advantage over scutes.

[nightingalesoul]

this is too good to leave hidden in the replies

[bermuda-n-drangle]

fucking enamored with the implication that this gorilla is fully intelligent but is trying to manufacture plausible deniability like the movie barnyard

[clickrtraind]

watching tmras say "tmas" witj the same cadence as twerfs saying "tras" is interesting. maybe u should kill yourselves as soon as possible

[clickrtraind]

sooooo interesting that tma/tme as a framework isnt problematic anymore now that u fags realized you could appropriaye it to sound like dipshits,,,,,

[arielluva]

"OR WOMEN IN GENERAL"???? HELLO

[sailatina3]

Reblog to bully people who don't like female characters or women in general off the internet.

[kayla-denker]

We all clearly need to be bullying them more because they sure are everywhere

[ouroborosorder]

everyone jokes about Gardevoir trainers being horny freaks but I think Gardevoir trainers would actually be posting like irl doll collectors

[ouroborosorder]

They’d be posting ”An exquisite day for a most elegant lady” and then a picture of the cutest tea party you have ever seen for a Gardevoir wearing a lovely little hat

[ouroborosorder]

the real horny freaks would be posting shit like “go my loyal minions” and then a video of them siccing 6 Galarian zigzagoon on a dumpster

[demi-shoggoth]

These tags are too good to be transitory

[bpdohwhatajoy]

Telling someone how you feel is a humiliation ritual

[rylandgraces]

How it feels when someone prevs you

[homunculus-argument]

I am tired of seeing historical "yeah we know it's not accurate but wouldn't that be fucking cool" movies that are always only about like. Three places. Fourth one maybe if you're really lucky. I am tired of that. I am tired of the greeks.

I want to see an over the top Rule Of Cool historical action movie about some wild shit that alledgedly happened 3000 years ago in idk Sudan.

[ruekastitch]

Black Miku

[strawberrycherrycola]

Still thinking about this psychopath 😝

[cyphir-spacerobot]

Victor Frankenstein after achieving the impossible and building a fucking person from scraps of the dead: Oh god, ew, ew it's ugly! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew! Ew! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew!

[godaweful]

catherine might be the first game changer player who understood the assignment, immediately failed the assignment, figured out the assignment better, told everyone else the assignment, and then failed multiple times cause she truly cannot describe pictures (or name songs). player of all time. i love seeing someone who clearly gets and loves game changer and is just plain bad at games. representation for all of us.