Had to start over, used to be OhYarnIt

[what-even-is-thiss]

Fairy: Hey I didn’t get your name.

Me: Yeah that was on purpose.

Fairy: Oh my god stealing people’s names has been categorized as a war crime for like a hundred years. Do I seem like the kind of fairy that would do war crimes?

Me: Well yes, but that’s just my impression of you personally. Not fairies in general.

Fairy: You’re smarter than I thought.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Me: So is the fairy monarch democratically elected?

Fairy: I think the one from a small corner of Alabama might be but for the most part, no. It’s still decided by a contest between the three oldest children.

Me: What kind of competition?

Fairy: Well it used to be to the death but that was too violent so these days each kingdom comes up with their own. In mine I think they play marbles but I’ve never seen one.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Me: Okay so why shouldn’t I say thank you or give gifts in return for favors?

Fairy: That’s mostly a regional thing but where I’m from it’s insulting to the wealth of the person giving you stuff. Like you really only thank people when what they did was like a huge burden so if you thank someone for giving you something that’s like calling them poor.

Me: Fairies have wealth inequality?

Fairy: I mean we technically still live under a feudal system if I’m being honest but with modern technology and ethics nobody notices.

Me: Do you have Internet down there?

Fairy: Only dial-up. That’s why I come to your house.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Fairy: So you’re telling me that human men don’t think that frog eyes are sexy?

Me: Well not most of them to my knowledge.

Fairy: So I bought these contacts for nothing.

Me: Hey man you don’t have to be a frog spirit to lure men into your clutches. Plenty of dudes are into cat eyes and ghoulish moaning.

Fairy: You really think so?

Me: I know so! Stop doubting yourself so much. You can definitely find some mortal men to lure into the timeless void for several centuries and adopt a demon cat with you.

Fairy: Thanks, man. That means a lot.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Fairy: So humans... don’t eat glass?

Me: No? It’ll cut up our insides and kill us.

Fairy: Ooohhhh. Oh no.

Me: What did you do now?

Fairy: More like... what I’ve done over the past three centuries since I moved out of my mom’s house.

Me: Did the coughing up of blood not cue you into anything?!?!!

Fairy: I thought that humans just spontaneously die sometimes!

Me: No we don’t! There’s physical reasons for these things!

Fairy: So... no more bringing nightshade and glass entrees to the potluck?

Me: No!

[what-even-is-thiss]

Me: So why mushrooms as portals?

Fairies: Look man, even we don’t mess with mushrooms alright? Sometimes they open up a portal to the human world and it’s just best to not question it.

Me: So wait. You don’t make the fairy circles?

Fairy: No. Mushrooms decide.

[reasonablywittyatbest]

Whenever I think about students using AI, I think about an essay I did in high school. Now see, we were reading The Grapes of Wrath, and I just couldn't do it. I got 25 pages in and my brain refused to read any more. I hated it. And its not like I hate the classics, I loved English class and I loved reading. I had even enjoyed Of Mice and Men, which I had read for fun. For some reason though, I absolutely could NOT read The Grapes of Wrath.

And it turned out I also couldn't watch the movie. I fell asleep in class both days we were watching it.

This, of course, meant I had to cheat on my essay.

And I got an A.

The essay was to compare the book and the movie and discuss the changes and how that affected the story.

Well it turned out Sparknotes had an entire section devoted to comparing and contrasting the book and the movie. Using that, and flipping to pages mentioned in Sparknotes to read sections of the book, I was able to bullshit an A paper.

But see the thing is, that this kind of 'cheating' still takes skills, you still learn things.

I had to know how to find the information I needed, I needed to be able to comprehend what sparknotes was saying and the analysis they did, I needed to know how to USE the information I read there to write an essay, I needed to know how to make sure none of it was marked as plagerized. I had to form an opinion on the sparknotes analysis so I could express my own opinions in the essay.

Was it cheating? Yeah, I didn't read the book or watch the movie. I used Sparknotes. It was a lot less work than if I had read the book and watched the movie and done it all myself.

The thing is though, I still had to use my fucking brain. Being able to bullshit an essay like that is a skill in and of itself that is useful. I exercised important skills, and even if it wasnt the intended way I still learned.

ChatGTP and other AI do not give that experience to people, people have to do nothing and gain nothing from it.

Using AI is absolutely different from other ways students have cheated in the past, and I stand by my opinion that its making students dumber, more helpless, and less capable.

However you feel about higher education, I think its undeniable that students using chatgtp is to their detriment. And by extension a detriment to anyone they work with or anyone who has to rely on them for something.

[imfluentinfangirlandgay]

I need you all to see what I just finished

A life sized crochet Sinosauropteryx prima complete with pico-feathering in as scientifically-accurate of a pattern and color as I possibly could. I had to read some literature to get it right but I think this is one of the best projects I've ever made. What do I name her? 2-L 7Up bottle for scale

I've been working on her since September. The entire base was crocheted in this mustard I had a million skeins of. She didn't even use up one

I love her so much she's gonna sit above my TV in the living room for now until we move and I can have a Designated Spot for her <3

Her mouth can open and close and I purposefully put her in a laying-down position so that she can lay on surfaces well. 4 toes on each foot and 3 fingers on each hand :)

[totallynotsilversora]

I forgot I have to be active here so here’s my Twitter tutorial on how to draw folds I made a while back to help a friend!

[drops-of-universe]

"craving a food means your body needs something that food can offer" now what the fuck does my body need with an ice cream

[syd-cudi]

it makes your brain happy! your body could use some joy too

[drops-of-universe]

no everyone shut up and listen. truths were said

[icannotgetoverbirds]

in all seriousness, if you're craving ice cream, it's likely that your body needs fat and carbs. If ice cream isn't an option for whatever reason, you can try to feed yourself something else with a significant amount of fat and/or carbs. You may also be dehydrated if you're craving sweets.

That said, sometimes your body and brain do genuinely just need a pick me up.

The more frequently you practice intuitive eating like this, the better you'll get at figuring out what it is that your body is asking for.

Also, a great trick is to take a look at what you're craving, note the nutritional contents (fat, carbs, protein, plant matter/fiber) and try and figure out what else sounds tasty for your particular craving. This can give you more data points to go off of. For instance, if you're craving ice cream, but a sweet roll sounds just as good, it's probably carbs your body is asking you for. That said, if you're craving ice cream and a sweet roll doesn't sound good at all BUT a bagel with strawberry cream cheese or avocado toast DOES sound good, you know it's fat you're needing.

If all you're craving is ice cream and nothing else sounds worth the effort, you may just need a low effort mood boost, which is also totally valid! This can also help you even if you can't have ice cream, because now that you know what your body actually wants, you know there are more ways to fulfill that order than the way it asked you to!

[myvanityisavirtue]

[haveievermentioned]

also, uh.. Migraines. I started getting a migraine and all of a sudden I just NEEDED Ice cream. I had some in the freezer so put some in a cup, went off, and it was instantly fixed. Turned out the cold in ice cream can alter the blood flow via the veins in the top of the mouth and that somehow can fix migraines? Ice water will do the same. But if you are getting a migraine, try getting ice cold water or ice cream to the roof of your mouth as a first step fix.

[victusinveritas]

Thank you Derek, menswear guide, for reminding me why paying more to be free advertising for brands is dumb.

[bundibird]

Its come to my attention that a lot of people do not know how to deal with a hot car in summer. A lot of people will get back to their car, after hours of it being parked in the full sun, and will open the door to be blasted in the face with furnace-level temperatures, and you'll just clamber in and shut the doors and leave the windows closed and you'll start driving that thing, and you'll wait for the air-conditioning to battle and overcome the heat.

Thats. Insane to me.

The inside of a car can get up to 40°C/104°F hotter than the outside temperature. Why would anyone get inside that????? It's gonna take your air-conditioning at least half an hour to combat that and bring the temperature down to something even remotely reasonable, and in the meantime you're sitting there risking heatstroke.

Now, I understand that it's currently winter in the northern hemisphere, which is where most of this site lives, but a) I'm in the southern hemisphere and today was Lots Of Degrees, and b) y'all should read this now and commit it to memory or queue it to reblog in summer or whatever, because it boggles my mind that some of you get into a car whose interior is literally oven-hot.

So!!!! Some tips!!!!!

Get a sun visor. One of the big ones that goes inside your windshield. You will not believe how much cooler those things keep your car. Get one, use it. Leave it to bounce around in your back-seat on cooler days, but have it on hand for the stinkers. They range in price but two-dollar stores usually have them for pretty cheap.

Leave the windows of your car cracked open. It doesn't have to be much. Literally just the tiniest amount will mean that the heat building inside your car has a way to escape, meaning the interior temp will naturally be kept lower. The larger the opening, the better, but depending on the neighbourhood you're parking in, maybe it would be better to have them open just a sliver. Even the tiniest crack will help. Ever tried warming up an oven with the door open? It doesn't work well. This is the same concept. If there is a way for the hot air to escape, the inside of your car will stay a lot cooler than it otherwise would have.

If you're fancy enough to have an openable sunroof (that's the dream) then leave that open a bit as well.

Youve just gotten back to your car and opened the door, and its hot as fuck in there. Open another door, ideally on the other side of the car, and let the hot air escape. If you can open all four doors and the boot, then thats even better. A bunch of the hot air will flush out. Not all!!! But a lot. Give it anywhere from a few moments to a few minutes, depending on how much of a hurry you're in.

Get in, start the car, open all the windows. Yes, even if you hate having the windows open.

Put the air-conditioning on full blast, and make sure the recycle is turned OFF. This means it pulls fresh air from outside the car (hot, but less hot than inside) and pumps that into the car, further displacing the heat inside the vehicle.

Start driving, still with the windows down. Once you get up enough speed, the force of the air from outside coming in will blast the rest of the excess heat out of the car.

The temp inside the car will now be roughly equivalent to the temp outside the car. Still hot!!!! But MAJORLY less so, and majority more handle-able by your air-conditioner.

Put all your windows up, and switch the air-con over to recycle. This means it takes the air in the car and cools it, then spits it back into the car, meaning that with each cycle, the air gets progressively cooler a lot faster.

If you do this, your car will be a hell of a lot more comfortable a hell of a lot sooner than it would be if you got into a 60°C/140°F cabin and just.... endured that, until your aircon could overcome it.

This post has been brought to you by an Australian who knows not one but TWO people who get into 60°C cars and wait 15 to 30 minutes for their car to drop back down to a temperature that's even REMOTELY tolerable.

[loupy-mongoose]

Lol, note for near-future self.

[yesornopolls]

Do you ever get baby fever?

(i.e an intense urge to have a child)

Do you ever get baby fever?

Yes

No

Voting ended onApr 12, 2025

[a-kind-of-merry-war]

outta my way i'm about to become a ye olde furrie

[english-history-trip]

Presumably based on this lil guy!

[kirianthedivorce]

Absolutely losing it at this Reddit post

And the update

She buttered Jorts

[anoonzee]

The outrage summed in a perfect Tweet:

[notemily]

FINALLY

I’ve been collecting the best Jorts tweets and waiting until the moment he showed up on my dash to post them. So here you are, the curated best of the past, oh, day or so:

[rhipidurafan]

Some additional quality memes from the past 24 hours:

Meanwhile, OP has continued tracking trash can mishaps on twitter:

And a quality photo of this sweet potato:

[rhipidurafan]

An update for those not following Jorts’ twitter account, starting with a transcription of the Wellerman cover:

Link to the lovely video

There once was a ship that put to sea The name of the ship was the Jorts and Jean The ship she rolled and her closet doors closed Oh no, where’s Jorts? Oh no!

Soon may the smarter cat come To save poor Jorts so orange and dumb One day when the butterin’s done We’ll take our leave and go

When Pam came on, she had a plan To teach our Jorts about garbage cans Pam meant well but her plans fell flat When HR said, “don’t butter the cat”

Soon may the smarter cat come To save poor Jorts so orange and dumb One day when the butterin’s done We’ll take our leave and go

Now Jean the smart cat comes She saves poor Jorts so orange and dumb Now that the butterin’s done We’ll take our leave and go

We’ll take our leave and go

We’ll take our leave and go

Additional quality memes:

A recipe for Buttered Jorts:

Recent Jorts activities:

And some very wise words from the cat himself:

[petermorwood]

This is the largest Jorts post I found before I decided to stop, and combines a lot of memes in one convenient package.

Along with cats, of course. Smartly done!

[calligrafiti]

The person running the Jorts Twitter is using it to promote unions, which is awesome.

[breelandwalker]

FNALLY! All the premium Jorts content in one place!

[baybelletrist]

JOOOOOORTS

[siriosa]

the blessing of jorts. the patience of jean.

[gif87a-com]

A hummingbird thought a man’s orange hat was a flower [x]

[shinymegacrobat]

Iv never seen a hummingbird sit before lol

[queervashti]

i wasn’t going to reblog until he sat 

[spacelesbians-archive-deactivat]

HE SITS

[intjint]

ITS BACK

[the-mighty-birdy-deactivated202]

OH GOD

THE BEST POST ON THIS WEBSITE

[ruffboi-mags]

that look when he sat tho.

“the fuck is wrong with this fuckin flower??”

[batmanbeyondrocks]

Deserted In Urban (@desertedinurban)-We gonna have up to sonic movie 7 🥷🏽💨

Credit: Deserted In Urban (@desertedinurban)

[sakura-rose12]

So I had a funny dream the other night.

It involved a very gay witch.

[fuckyeahviralpics]

It’s never too late to learn the right way to do things: button sewing technique via imgur → more…

[togglepop]

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE

[ccbytheseashore]

I feel like I just reblog this every time it is on my dash, with hope that one day I will stop being such a goof about sewing buttons.

[ilwinsgarden]

You mean someone don’t do it like this?

[actuallyclintbarton]

Yeah I was taught to just sew them flush against the fabric. It didn’t work as well as I thought it should…

[deadcatwithaflamethrower]

Yeah, I’m so downloading a copy of this post because buttons and I do not like each other.

[paininthejas]

I worked as a costume designer and assistant in a costume shop for 2 years and honest 2 god this will save your life.

[lark-in-ink]

I am a professional tailor and I approve this message.

[xensilverquill]

You need to believe in things that aren't true. How else can they become? 🌿🌿🌿

patterns available on Etsy and Ravelry!

[superheroes-or-whatever]

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles x Naruto (2024-2025) #1 art by Hendry Prasetya

[aceyjujube]

@iced-blood

[questbedhead]

I love me a pseudo-historical arranged marriage au but it always nudges my suspension of disbelief when the author has to dance around the implicit expectation that an arranged marriage should lead to children, which a cis gay couple can't provide.

I know for a lot of people that's irrelevant to what they want from an Arranged Marriage plot, but personally I like playing in the weird and uncomfortable implications.

So, I've been thinking about how you would justify an obviously barren marriage in That Kind of fantasy world, and I thought it'd be interesting if gay marriage in Ye Old Fantasy Land was a form of soft disinheritance/abdication.

Like, "Oh, God, I don't want to be in this position of power please just find me a boy to marry", or, "I know you should inherit after you father passes but as your stepmother/legal guardian I think it'd make more sense if my kids got everything, so maybe consider lesbianism?", or "Look, we both know neither of our families has enough money to support that many grandkids, so let's just pair some spares and save both our treasuries the trouble".

Obviously this brings in some very different dynamics that I know not everyone would be pinged by, but I just think it'd be neat.

[kyraneko]

This is actually a really cool variant solution to a real historical problem, wherein either primogeniture or other profoundly shitty customs led to wealthy parents having insufficient resources to provide for all of their children in a manner consistent with their station.

Historically, the Church and its widespread monastic structure functioned as a dumping ground for second/third/etc sons and all the daughters one can't afford to marry off adequately, with the military eventually picking up the slack for the former post-Reformation to the point where it's been argued that the need for something to occupy these dispossessed sons played a role in Europe's ongoing conflicts between its nations and the eventual push of imperialism and colonization over the rest of the world.

In a world where homosexuality were more accepted, it would offer a new option: spare a comparatively-small outlay of resources from the main family fortune to equip a house and accoutrements, which would be reabsorbed into the family as a return inheritance in a few decades, and contract a marriage which would be deliberately unable to produce legitimate offspring.

You get the advantages of creating marital ties with another wealthy family, the people married therein have a spouse and the status achievements that go with marriage, and the risk that your child goes off and marries someone unsuitable or inconvenient is removed entirely, as is the risk that they could marry someone and have legitimate, inheritance-claiming children with them. Sure, they can have affairs and thus get children if they're married to a same-sex spouse, but those children cannot be passed off as legitimate issue of the marriage, and so they pose less of a threat to the the main body of the family's wealth.

And, thus: perfectly reasonable reason why your pseudohistorical fictional characters can find themselves in a same-sex arranged marriage!

[aqueerkettleofish]

"Nicholas, we've arranged for you to marry Eric, in the neighboring kingdom."

"But father, I'm not...."

"I'm well aware. I've just decided that you shouldn't reproduce."