Eh, I tried

[She/her; 25+; Bisexual]

[mumblesplash]

actually while i’ve still got this soapbox stuck to my shoe i also wanna say i think culturally we gotta start conceptualizing physical fitness as a productive hobby rather than an obligation

[mumblesplash]

it’s sort of like clothes. there’s a baseline level of involvement with clothing necessary to stay safe from the elements and participate in society. having a variety of different clothing isn’t *strictly* necessary but pretty tangibly helpful. knowing how to do some minor mending and tailoring is nice. once you get into sewing your own clothes, you’re in hobby territory. if you’re making your own textiles from scratch, that is not only definitely a hobby but not something you can expect other people to want to do

the sort of nonsense fitness influencers get up to is sort of like people showing off their homemade silkworm farm and then pointing at everyone else and going “what’s YOUR excuse for wearing a TSHIRT from the STORE???” and actually nvm that would be fucking hilarious. god i wish that was an actual thing can you imagine

[mikkeneko]

#everyone making new year’s resolutions like ‘i’m cutting out polyester and i’m going to build a spinning wheel by may’

[inonibird]

Eclipse

[inonibird]

Hey, this is relevant again after 7 years~

[honorthegods]

Relevant again today, 12 August 2026.

[homunculus-argument]

Literally no reason for a guy to be over 5'7". That's just wasteful use of biomass. You had enough material to make four dudes and instead you made three. That thing is blocking an entire isle in the grocery store.

[homunculus-argument]

No you got the math the wrong way around. Let's say that you've got four 150 cm dudes. That's a reasonable amount, and a nice round number. Add their heights together, that's 600 cm. The same height could be used to make three 200 cm guys. What are you going to do with three giraffes that you can't fit into a normal-sized car, that you couldn't do with four compact travel-sized guys.

[pipariperho]

[homunculus-argument]

Fun fact: The last time I checked Gandalf's height for a shitpost, one souce stated that he is 167cm/5'6", so my height!!!! The second source I found described Gandalf is "taller than Dwarves and Hobbits, but shorter than Elves and Men."

>:|

[nerdylizard5]

In fact this is not only true but also means that Gandalf is A FULL FOOT SHORTER than Aragorn AND Boromir both!

[homunculus-argument]

Wait I think we've finally put together why Gandalf liked hanging out with hobbits and dwarves.

[lastvalyrian]

> medical problem > unsure if it's serious or will go away on its own > sees a doctor to be sure > "why the fuck are you here. this is nothing. it will go away on its own"

[lastvalyrian]

> medical problem > unsure if it's serious or will go away on its own > decide to wait to not overreact > problem remains > sees doctor with concrete problem after all > "why did you wait so long. we could have done something if you had come immediately"

[uptownthots]

“it isnt something you have to read critically” well 😭

[uptownthots]

this technically is true but I think this also perfectly encapsulates why I am inherently distrustful of like. “”cozy”” “turn your brain off” fiction lmfao. like okay WHO gets to turn their brain off and who has to suffer through bigoted caricatures of themselves while everyone else is having cozy silly no brain time 😐

[mortalityplays]

hi, a lot of you need a perspective reset

the average human lifespan globally is 70+ years

taking the threshold of adulthood as 18, you are likely to spend at least 52 years as a fully grown adult

at the age of 30 you have lived less than one quarter of your adult life (12/52 years)

'middle age' is typically considered to be between 45-65

it is extremely common to switch careers, start new relationships, emigrate, go to college for the first or second time, or make other life-changing decisions in middle age

it's wild that I even have to spell it out, but older adults (60+) still have social lives and hobbies and interests.

you can still date when you get old. you can still fuck. you can still learn new skills, be fashionable, be competitive. you can still gossip, you can still travel, you can still read. you can still transition. you can still come out.

young doesn't mean peaked. you're inexperienced in your 20s! you're still learning and practicing! you're developing social skills and muscle memory that will last decades!

there are a million things to do in the world, and they don't vanish overnight because an imaginary number gets too big

[kosmogrl]

[fucking-relax]

this is helpful to getting started on anything regardless of what you call it (from this post)

problem solving steps

IMPROVE distress tolerance skill

[sawasawako-archived]

the pragmatic view of love honestly makes me so emotional

[sawasawako-archived]

like what do you MEAN it’s up to us to create and nurture the relationships we want to have with people? what do you MEAN loving others and caring for others and being kind to them is a choice that we have to make every single day, in each moment? what do you MEAN we are the makers and sculptors and artists and architects of our own interpersonal relationships? i’m losing my mind!!

[sawasawako-archived]

it really demystifies the whole affair. once you realise that love and thriving relationships don’t just drop from the sky or appear out of thin air, once you realise that it isn’t miraculous or due to “fate” or design, that it’s really just the choices that we make and the beliefs and values that we hold, everything becomes clear. you don’t just sit around and wait for things to change, or passively wish them to be different, clinging onto the idea that since it’s mystical, you’re not entirely responsible for shaping it. but you are. and that’s scary, but it’s also, like, the only thing that really matters at the end of the day?? i cannot

[omagpies]

:> other bird comics about tumblr posts are on my blog under #omagpies

original post by @cauchys-special-boy here:

i promise to shoot the man i accosted in the alleyway unless he gives me his wallet. he says "this is just like rokos basilisk". i say "what

[crabussy]

my favourite bit right now is saying "scientists still don't know" in relation to something I (One Single Scientist) specifically do not know the answer to

[shed-n-shine]

Why this got me boppin at my desk tho lol

[nanaluvbug]

i saw this video and had to draw her check out afrococoapuffs, she’s amazing!

[tpwrtrmnky]

*cracking open your moral intuition systems* ohhh i see, there's the issue, you're running secularism on a kernel built for protestant morality.

Tricky one cause the kernel's built around creating the need for salvation from a higher power, and you'll have to change up a lot of the systems for evaluating your own and others' moral worth to avoid operating with a deficit when there's no inbuilt release valve.

You haven't been going around making up ad-hoc solutions for redeeming sinners instead of trying to patch out the notion of sin, right?

[artyphex]

“There are no female aliens in our game because we don’t know how to make a female version of this alien” You know that alien you just designed? That male alien? Give it a female voice actor and have characters refer to it as she. That’s it. That’s literally all you have to do 

Make her shorter if you must

Make her BIGGER if you aren’t a coward 

[moonwatcher13]

Take your male alien bodytype, make her like 4 feet taller, give her an extra set of arms and sharper teeth, and as muscular as shit.

Boom.

[skywalkerchick1138]

[lemonsharks]

Give her natural camouflage and make the man like this

Make them exactly the same size and shape but different colors

Give him a huge flock of babies following him around to show off what a great lay he is

Surprise mPreganté

Exactly the same but one of them has a cool hat (you decide which)

Give her a sensible haircut for successful hunting while he has a big dumb mullet so big and dumb the food can see him coming and book it

Please just for the love of pie do not begin and end with boobs

[parawyrm]

More from that one post

[parawyrm]

[parawyrm]

[parawyrm]

[parawyrm]

[teaboot]

In a fascinating turn of events, my Most Pragmatic Sibling, reader of exclusively nonfiction, interested only in historical northeastern politics, fish recipes, and his dog, who in his bid to "opt out of frivolous nonsense" has worn only the same 3 pairs of identical cargo shorts and 5 free promotional tee-shirts for the last nine years, has recently come to understand that fashion, trends, and fads, are- as difficult as it is to grasp- direct expressions of a given population's political and socioeconomic environment

I, local family's resident literature fine arts and weird dead animals dork, have been having ENDLESS fun at his expense on this

(We both enjoy writing)

[teaboot]

We have, since this monumental epiphany, essentially had the same conversation nine times in a row now, and I am genuinely never going to get sick of it. I hope he keeps texting me questions forever

[teaboot]

Him: Wait but THIS stupid ugly thing was super impractical, so how come everybody wanted to wear it all of a sudden

Me: Well I'd have to do some research to be sure but if it didn't have a practical purpose and it wasn't a spiritual thing then my best guess is that it was either a novelty that had suddenly been introduced and found appealing, or it came to represent an important facet of the culture that suddenly gained relevance

Him: So why did it stop

Me: Fashions swing from one extreme to the other. People seek out what is desirable and unique, which is almost always unique because it's not produced or available very much. If enough people jump onto that bandwagon, demand goes up, so whoever can invent a way to get more or make more will make a killing. Once this innovation meets demand, the rhing will become commonplace, and no longer new or exciting. If it happens to be perfectly suited to a particular niche or image then it will become timeless as long as that niche or image is relevant, but the majority will move in the opposite direction once they hit the greatest possible extreme.

Him: That's stupid

Me: War is stupid. Ask grandma why she doesn't throw out old nylons and keeps turning old rags into bath mats

Him: (nodding sagely)

[diaryofaphilosopher]

"The shift from the Afro-Caribbean zombie to the U.S. zombie is clear: in Caribbean folklore, people are scared of becoming zombies, whereas in U.S. narratives people are scared of zombies. This shift is significant because it maps the movement from the zombie as victim (Caribbean) to the zombie as an aggressive and terrifying monster who consumes human flesh (U.S.). In Haitian folklore, for instance, zombies do not physically threaten people; rather, the threat comes from the voduon practice whereby the sorcerer (master) subjugates the individual by robbing the victim of free will, language and cognition. The zombie is enslaved."

— Justin D. Edwards, "Mapping Tropical Gothic in the Americas" in Tropical Gothic in Literature and Culture.

Follow Diary of a Philosopher for more quotes!

[strawberrydykke]

opened up ravelry to look at patterns and the very first thing i saw was

The Garment by Robert Cole