For someone I'm about to let go of, I sure do think about you a lot.
I've been wondering lately, what held your attention for so long? What about me caught your eye? And held it for more than a year?
And right as I finally balanced out, what killed that fire in your heart? Whatever.
That's all the thought I intend to give this anymore, cause I don't think we have anything left to offer each other.
At one point, I had myself convinced that you would be my wife in the future. But without any effort or idea of how to get there, I failed you.
And for that I'm sorry. I'm deep in my own head figuring out what it is to be me, and I realized where I've failed everyone, including myself.
So from here on, this is goodbye. This is not giving up, This Is Letting Go. I'm going to refocus. It's why I finally cut my fucking hair, but you don't know about that. You don't want to care.
Give it five, ten years. We'll come up in each other's Facebook memories and forget why we stopped talking. We've only done it at least six times now. I've finally figured out that just because our parents want it so fucking bad, doesn't mean we can just force it.
I'd have loved to call your dad my father in law. But that's not enough to force us to understand each other. Neither is how bad my parents wanted you to be their daughter in law.
This is all about as organised as a honey badger in a beehive. But I'll press on, my sleep depends on it.
Somewhere among this mess, my point comes through: though this is indeed letting go, this is not hate or anger. Maybe some salt. But I still wish you well. I hope you meet someone that matches you. I hope he or she makes you happy and becomes your best friend.
And I can only ask that you wish me the same.
Don't look at me, just let me be. I can't let my words overcome and let you see. I've said before, and I forgot a while what it actually means.
origamiaround
areudirty
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