that's why I'm here. for the words.

[ottawasintaurs]

ilya “my husband said no” rozanov and shane “can my husband come” hollander really are the codependency couple of all time

[ilya-sweetheart]

hollanov on separate bedrooms

jackie: yeah separate bedrooms can be a blessing! i love hayden but sometimes i need my own space

shane: ????

hayden: it’s healthy for couples to get a breather! and it makes it more romantic when we share our bed again <3 even tho you kick in your sleep babe ahah

ilya: okei….

(later, at home)

ilya: don’t you ever dare sleep in a separate bed from me i will hunt you down

shane: fuck no never — also when you kick me in your sleep i just kick you right thefuck?? like grow a pair hayd, jeez

ilya: ok i see your point but maybe hayden shouldn’t kick his wife

shane: you’re right jackie should just kick him harder

ilya: exactly! we should be marriage counsellors, solving everybodies problems ))

[valtsv]

i hate it when people ask me to "explain my thought process" like hell if i know

[valtsv]

"what's going on in that head of yours?" nothing i want to be a part of

[themoonandmyman]

[futurebird]

The "B" is *not* for "buses"

Via mastodon(aka the fediverse)

[invisible-goats]

it's so fun for me every time this appears on my dash because not only did i walk past it irl several times, it's on what is widely considered the busiest bus route in europe

[lionofchaeronea]

I welcome all my bussexual and trainsgender friends.

(Sorry--couldn't resist.)

[chubby-cry-baby]

harris creates ILYA JEOPARDY for ilya’s 32nd birthday and the centaurs are hyped to see who can get more points than Shane; Bood and Ilya have been captains for years together, Troy and Ilya are best friends, Wyatt and Ilya have their own captain-goalie relationship, Luca is his mentee etc etc all the centaurs have their own thing with Ilya. “yeah Shane’s his husband but I saw him everyday for practice for years I think I’ll get some points in there”. AND the questions aren’t even that hard “what does Ilya order at osmows” “what’s his pre game ritual” “what’s his favourite city” “what’s his favourite gatorade flavour” - the centaurs keep getting the answers like 20% incorrect and shane gets to swoop in and correct them, “it’s actually a loon not a duck actually” “that is NOT his favourite fast and furious” “he doesn’t like blue he likes the light blue gatorade”. Ilya can’t even act nonchalant he feels insanely loved.

[dogsdayilya]

Loyalty (1869)

— by Briton Rivière

Loyalty (2025)

— by Ilya Rozanov

[penandinkprincess]

i know in my heart that while they're long distance, shane does like hearing about the people who tried to hit on ilya and were rejected

he grumbles about "why are you telling me this?" but they are both fully aware that this is a form of phone sex to him

[s-o-r-i-n]

between shane's neurodivergence and ilya's bisexuality neither of them know how to sit normally. put them next to each other for more than 10 minutes and they will inevitably start playing twister. they are coming up with positions you couldn't even conceive of. the centaurs have an entire shared photo album dedicated to pictures of them sitting in positions that Can't Possibly Be Comfortable but they somehow maintain for an absurd amount of time anyway. the most crucial part of this is that it's entirely subconscious and it takes several different people pointing it out to them before they even realize they're doing it

[penandinkprincess]

cackling about the idea of shane and ilya getting separated on the bench from time to time and the public thinks "oooh, trouble in paradise? the rivalry rearing its head again?? hollander getting fed up with rozanov??"

and the truth is that the team was playing against someone ilya and/or shane ESPECIALLY hates, which means shane was dropping the most vicious, lethal reads known to man and making ilya crack tf up to the point that they were attracting attention and the coach was just afraid of someone reading lips and getting them all in trouble

and signficantly, the three person buffer between them just keeps shane from SAYING his comments

he and ilya are still leaning forward and backward to look at each other and exchange "mhm" "mhm" looks that still make it clear they're still communicating their thoughts perfectly fine

[penandinkprincess]

i know in my heart that post-outing, ilya is using the FUCK out of "because you are homophobic?" when he's not getting his way

you will not let him have the seat he wants on this bus? ah, he sees. clearly the homophobia.

you will not give him the lemon-lime gatorade and are trying to keep it for yourself? you think gays should have to drink only fruit punch? he is telling twitter IMMEDIATELY.

you will not come cuddle with him instead of doing the dishes? just because he is queer? "ilya, i am literally your gay husband." "yes, violence from within the alphabet is the worst kind. 😔" "🙄"

[hardlyhinged]

Op’s tags

[virginshane]

shane’s little knowing smile at the poolside post ilya’s hairshake. it says i can see you are peacocking for me and i approve of it.

[shaneposting]

anyway good morning a crucial tenet of hollanov’s relationship is that they’re equals and they’re the only people in the world who could ever be each other’s equal. they were supposed to stand alone at the top but they’re there together. shane does not view ilya as a lazy useless inconvenience. ilya does not view shane as a nagging killjoy. they are equals and they both think the other is the best thing since sliced bread and they love each other but more importantly they LIKE each other. stop making them not like each other!

[shaneposting]

like ilya spends his entire life being told (by people objectively shittier than he is) that he’s not good enough, he’s lazy, he’s undisciplined, he lets people down. and then he meets the one person who would actually be in a position to assess whether ilya is any of those things, and shane just earnestly looks into his fucking soul and says no, they were wrong. ‘you’re an awesome player to watch’ ‘i don’t know that side of you at all’ ‘this isn’t what this is. me and you’

and it’s such a fucking tragedy that people are trying to push MyIlya back into a setting where he’s constantly being lectured about his inadequacies by the very person that canonically reminds him all the time that those inadequacies were figments of his dad’s imagination

[azalea-blooming]

you should care about kids because they’re people, btw. not because they’re “future adults” but because they are people right now and they deserve to be treated like people.

[hollanderthoughts]

hayden keeps telling me its so awesome to have a captain who appreciates the sober lifestyle and im like thats great man but i dont think where i go when im sucking dick and cock counts as being “sober” to be completely honest like idk if it’s the taste or just the weight of it or whatever but I’m like. Not on this planet anymore.

[edgebug]

it means so much to me that rocky's lead puppeteer james ortiz got to voice him and got like. full billing right next to ryan gosling in the opening credits. and he's gotten to do interviews and red carpet appearances and talk about puppetry and it's all being taken so seriously just like he's any other type of actor. gonna make me cry fr. like they could have gotten some famous person to be rocky's voice to try and pull more star power but. they went with the guy who acted him. and like of course they did. like there he is. how could they do anything else. he's right there and he's perfect

[shieldofiron]

Ilya: (jokingly) I should have a trophy made for best bottom for you.

Shane: (with unrestrained desire in his eyes) haha, fuck off. That would be silly. What would you engrave on it?

[madrasaur]

band 4 band