nothing in the world belongs to me | LEVI ACKERMAN SHORT FIC
SYNOPSIS / CONTEXT: guilt, regret, grief and the feeling of losing someone was stuck in levi's heart and it seems like there's nothing to get it out of him.
A/C: ive been listening to mitski's "my love, all mine, all mine" on repeat and its hurting me physically, emotionally and mentally. (post note: HEKEP THIS GOT MOE VRYING IT SOS HORT BECAUSE IM CEYING.)
TW / WARNINGS: death, angst, mega angst, levi losing everyone he loves, sad and depressed levi, (i dont read or watch the anime but this is like when everyone died [erwin, mike, nanaba and hange] so yaur ... )
you meant everything to him, you were his comfort place and his light and yet, he lost you, the only person he could ever talk to without hiding his cold demeanor.
your tragic death was known to everyone, they knew your sacrific and your horrible death, being eaten and ripped apart by countless of titans.
and yet, the most painful thing is that you died infront of your lover, being ripped apart to pieces, rippled screams and pained grunts. levi couldn't do anything but watch, his gas empty, swords broken and his body arching and sore but his spirit was still fighting for you but no matter how hard he tried to move, his body wouldn't budge.
he couldn't understand why, why can't he move? why? what is he doing? youre dying and yet he's just watching you die. did he love you? did he mean the things he said to you? did you even mean anything to him?
everynight he couldn't stop replaying the scenes of you death, when your hands were reaching out for him, your eyes tearing up, your voice calling out for him but yet, he didn't move a single muscle.
levi felt pathetic and useless, he already lost mike, nanaba, erwin, hange and you, why does this always happen to him? he felt like everything became harder and harder
levi got up from his bed, looking down at his side where you would usually lay down, you've known to sneak around in the captain's room, especially late at nights just to cuddle with him but now, there's nomore of that anymore.
he missed you so much already, he missed your smile, your scent, your voice and your presence. levi got up groggily, his legs felt like collapsing but he kept on walking, he walked over to his desk and saw a note from you, it was a note you wrote when you both started dating and he didn't want to open it because it was ‘cherished’ and ‘sacred’.
he grabbed the note and opened it, reading the note with his eyes.
heya levi! its your hot, sweet, sassy, adorable lover! <name> the great <last name>, i love you so much and very very much! i promise you once this whole chaos ends, we will live somewhere quiet, far and peaceful, we will have little yous and mes running around ofcourse, i love you so much levi! and hey, don't die before me >:(
︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎love,
︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ <your name and last name>
before he knew it, his tears dropped to the paper, leaving little round marks.
gosh he felt so pathetic and it was hurting him, everything was hurting him.
suddenly he felt angry, angry at himself and this cruel world, you didn't deserve to be here, you were too precious and he promised he would protect you at all cost.
and he still failed, he grabbed the paper tightly as out of spite, he kicked his desk over, leaving a mess as papers flew away, he screamed as he kicked over he could find near his grasp.
as footsteps started to appear, people started knocking in his door but he didn't answer, still mad at what he did, he continued his little rampage until it was his closet left.
opening the wooden door, he was greeted with your night gown, the clothing of yours that levi always liked, he loved seeing you in this night gown as it just glows on you, you looked so beautiful wearing this.
reaching out on the night gown, he grabbed it with his scarred hands, the paper still in hand.
he brought it to his nose and inhaled, it still had your scent and warmth, it was too painful, really painful.
why would such a thing happen to him? he was too tired, tired from everything. he slowly slide down to the floor, the night gown and note close to his chest as he stared at the window. he always wanted to fulfill on killing all the titans so that both of you could live the normal life you always wanted but now, he couldn't do it anymore, you weren't here and levi knew it was hard to replace you.
tear streaks on his face, he closed his eyes, engulfing your scent on last time before he dozed off, his thoughts filled with you.
he missed you dearly and no matter how hard he will let go of anything, no matter how hard he will cry, he knew you were never coming back.
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