[just-shower-thoughts]

In the dog world, humans are elves that routinely live to be 500+ years old.

[copperbadge]

“They live so long…but the good ones still bond with us for our entire lives.” 

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

“These immortals are so kind we must be good friends to them”

[digital-gecko-deactivated201802]

My heart wtf

[aenramsden]

Not gonna lie, this fucked me up a bit.

[kaijufluffs]

POV Fantasy slice of life book when?

[katzedecimal]

“Now I am old. The fur around my muzzle is grey and my joints ache when we walk together. Yet she remains unchanged, her hair still glossy, her skin still fresh, her step still sprightly. Time doesn’t touch her and yet I love her still.”

[helly-watermelonsmellinfellon]

Oh, God.

[fishyandclintbarton]

This is the most genius thing i’ve seen in years. Thank you happytoast.co.uk 💯

[kyleehenke]

me: trying to be quiet and get the last half of my subway sandwich from the fridge downstairs at midnight

me: gets headphone cord caught on a spoon, sending it clattering onto the floor, the sound resonating into the night

me (loudly): FUCK

[specificacclimatation]

[girlidiotdotcom-deactivated2023]

this fox looks like a lv 1 rpg protagonist setting out from the sartting town.. adventure awaits u lil buddy

[dragonmanx]

:y

[derdoktorsschnabel-deactivated2]

Little buddy do not turn around you are not ready to fight that

[andrewbelami]

ok but how do people function without the battery percentage showing on their phone? Like how do you live with that constant anxiety and not knowing exactly how much battery you have left I would lose my mind

[ellipsicalelle-deactivated20170]

Women on Twitter marking their Planned Parenthood donations as “in honor of Mike Pence” at checkout are my new heroes.

He gets a certificate mailed to him each time.

Here is his address if anyone wants to join in:

Office of Gov Mike Pence, State House, Room 206, Indianapolis, IN 46204.

[theweirdwideweb]

Minnesota has the longest unbroken streak voting Democrat of any state (since 1976)—-but I particularly appreciate this electoral map from 84′:

[coolyo294]

[deactivatedahndjajd]

I think you people actually don't understand. Russia was literally going to declare war (probably nuclear) on us if Hillary won

[zootedboy]

sex in the shower? no. slip and bust my ass. break my dick. she slippin too. she knock her head on the tile she passed out. bleedin. i cant walk cause my jimmy snapped. thought this was gonna be sexy and we both end up half dead.

[c3rvida3]

Bad News: Our boss locked the keys inside the building.

Good News: We didn’t have to wait around for a locksmith.

Bad News: My boss finds it very concerning that I know how to pick locks, and tried to unlock my Tragic Backstory™. I was too embarrassed to admit that the reason I learned was because, at thirteen, I figured that was the kind of skill that would impress cute girls.

Good News: A cute girl saw me do it.

Bad News: It was Maggie, and since she’s already seen me fall out of several trees, cry because I saw a fawn that was just too damn small, and knows I can ride a unicycle, she’ll never think I’m cool no matter what I do. It’s too late. She knows.

[sailorbryant]

There are million dollar blockbuster movies that were less entertaining than the rollercoaster this post just took me on. 

[as-warm-as-choco]

[o-101]

so that’s where cats come from 

[indirispeaks]

good crop this year

[codename-theta]

- Agent Carolina

[just-shower-thoughts]

If you put a hat on the ground, its like the earth is wearing a really tiny hat.

[just-shower-thoughts]

loitering is the illegal act of existing while not spending money

[sortofafreelancer]

Capitalism

[jdjdgray]

It’s good to bring older dogs to water so they can relax their arthritic joints and get a little exercise. Beautiful dog, smooth dog.

[strigays]

thats a fucking goat

[dangered]

i love this

[archaeologicalnews]

3,000-Year-Old Cooking Mistake Revealed

Archaeologists in Denmark have found evidence of a 3,000 year-old cooking mistake that casts some light into the everyday life of Scandinavian Bronze Age people.

Clear evidence for one of the most common mistakes in the kitchen – burning food – lay in a clay pot that was excavated in central Jutland, Denmark.

The clay vessel was found, upturned and in near mint condition, at the bottom of what was once a waste pit.

“The pot is typical for cooking vessels in this region of Denmark. It was accompanied by several other objects fitting the dating,” archaeologist Kaj F. Rasmussen from Museum Silkeborg, Denmark, told Discovery News. Read more.

[maxknightley]

[fucks up dinner and just straight-up buries the evidence] We’re Getting Ancient Pizza Tonight, Girls

[toopunktofuck]

one time when i was 13 i burned pudding and couldn’t get it out of the pot and i was so ashamed i buried it in the backyard so no one would know

i see we’ve changed very little as a species

[classydude]

cashier: that’ll be $29.50 me: