I KNOW THERE'S AN ACTOR THAT LOOKS LIKE ME TELLING EVERYONE I AINT AN EQUAL OPPORTUNIST LAY AND I NEED EVERYONE TO KNOW-- HE IS SO RIGHT.
I WOULD NEVER EVER KISS A MAN. I WOULD NEVER EVEN THINK ABOUT ANY MAN, IN ANY KINDA GAY, SORTA WAY. NOT EVER. ESPECIALLY NOT MY BEST FRIEND AND THE FATHER OF MY CHILD.
DO YOU PEOPLE ACTUALLY BELIEVE, I LAY IN BED AT NIGHT THINKING 'BOUT THAT LITTLE GUYS THICK ASS, BUILT BODY, AND THE WEIGHT OF IT-- FREAKIN' WHAT? PRESSED-- UP-- ON ME?
YOU THINK I'M OFF DAYDREAMING ABOUT, WHAT, HIS-HIS HANDS...?
--OR LIKE HOW AT THE END OF THE DAY I JUST WANNA COME HOME TO THE GUY AND-AND JUST SHOOT THE SHIT WITH HIM?
HELL, SURE, SUE ME. HE'S A FUNNY GUY.
A GOOD TIME-- IN A STRAIGHT, NOT GAY WAY...
WELL-- NOT COMPLETELY STRAIGHT BECAUSE HE-HE'S--
BUT IF ANYTHING, I JUST GOT A LITTLE WEIRDNESS GOING WITH A GOOD FRIEND WHO JUST HAPPENS TO BE A GAY ANGEL... AND THAT COMES WITH THE TERRITORY!
SO, IF THATS WRONG, I GUESS YOU CAN CALL ME ME RICK WRIGHT AND KICK MY ASS OUTTA THE GODDAMN BAND. I AINT A DAMN--NOT THAT THERES ANYTHING WRONG WITH-- WITH THE-- ITS JUST NOT MY LIFESTYLE-- AND I'M GONNA STOP TYPING NOW.
