rubatosis @deduceme - Tumblr Blog

to this day there is nothing more comforting and wholesome to me than that scene in adventure time where finn eats two sandwiches, downs a big cup of juice, and then lays down to take a nap on his couch. thats luxury

grodyego

this one. thats what im talking about

igxbaddies

herdreadsrock-deactivated202401

Kids be so damn cute and innocent like how

thefandomdropout

Awwww

scumbag-vanguard

This story was different actually??? And even better??? The girl, Brooklyn Andracke, used to wave at the truck every thursday and the trashman waved her back. It was a very important to her to do it every week. It was HER birthday, and she decided that she wanted to share her birthday cake with the trashman. She also wanted to meet her hero, whose name is Delvar Dopson.

The girl’s mother thanked Delvar for his work and explained to him how important it is for Brooklyn to wave at him every thursday. He was pretty surprised but he admitted that every time he drove near the house he hoped that the girl would wave at him. That’s not the end of the story though. Next week Delvar had a surprise for the little girl.

He brought her a bunch of amazing birthday gifts!

They both got quite popular, and Delvar is getting a lot of thank you messages from trashmen from all over the world for representing them in such a good way.

kandyie

The real story is even cuter 😩💕

connercant

IM SO GLAD I KNOW THE STORY

prozd

“After he left, we continued on to daycare. Brooklyn was unusually quiet in the backseat. I asked her if she was okay, and she said, ‘Mommy, I’m so happy.’”

c-c-cute

tooiconic

MY HEART

politicallyincorrectpug

Blessed post

citycrowdpleaser-deactivated201

say it with me now..

thegirlfriend-experience

2018 Goals

luxuryhighendcommodity

Since last week I’ve been getting extra money at work for free

miss-vickt0re

Yo Canada, quick question. Why is your money see through?!?

cookie-sheet-toboggan

so we can shine a laser pointer through the window and see the value amount projected afar as added protection from forgeries

ferrous-princess

Yo USA, why the FUCK are we still using fragile scraps of linen like fucking animals when we could have fucking Laser Show Dollars instead?

languidangel

I want to move to Canada just because their money is so cool

fullmetalwindbreaker

going to bed without an alarm set feels good feels organic. all natural free range sleep baby

penroseparticle

My favorite thing is that Europe is spooky because it’s old and America is spooky because it’s big

meduseld

“The difference between America and England is that Americans think 100 years is a long time, while the English think 100 miles is a long way.” –Earle Hitchner

burntcopper

A fave of mine was always the american tales where people freaked out because ‘someone died in this house’ and all the europeans would go ‘…Yes? That would be pretty much every house over 40 years old.’

‘…My school is older than your entire town.’

‘Sorry, you think *how far* is okay to travel for a shopping trip?’

*American looks up at the beams in a country pub* ‘Uh, this place has woodworm, isn’t that a bit unsafe?’ ‘Eh, the woodworm’s 400 years old, it’s holding those beams together.’

bedlamsbard

A few years ago when I was in college I did a summer program at Cambridge aimed specifically at Americans and Canadians, and my year it was all Americans and one Australian. We ended the program with a week in Wessex, and on the last day as we all piled onto the bus in Salisbury (or Bath? I can’t remember), the professors went to the front to warn us that we wouldn’t be making any stops unless absolutely necessary. We’re headed to Heathrow to drop off anyone flying off the same day, then back to Cambridge.

“All right, it’s going to be a long bus ride, so make sure you’re prepared for that.”

We all brace ourselves. A long bus ride? How long? We’re Americans; a long bus ride for us is a minimum of six hours with the double digits perfectly plausible. We can handle a twelve hour bus ride as long as we get a bathroom break.

The answer. “Two hours.”

Oh.

derinthescarletpescatarian

English people trying to travel around Australia and wildly underestimating distance are my favourite thing

marzipanandminutiae

a tour guide in France told my school group that a particular cathedral wouldn’t interest us much because “it’s not very old; only from the early 1600s”

to which we had to respond that it was still older than the oldest surviving European-style buildings in our country

iguana-sneeze

China is both old and big. I had some Chinese colleagues over; we were discussing whether they wanted to see the Vasa ship (hugely expensive war ship which sank on it’s maiden voyage after 12 min). They asked if it was old, I said “not THAT old” (bearing in mind they were Chinese) “it’s from the 1500s.” To my surprise they still looked impressed, nodding enthusiatically. Then I realised I’d forgotten something: “…I mean it’s from the 1500s AFTER the birth of Christ” and they went “oh, AFTER…”.

ceescedasticity

My dad’s favorite quote from various tours in Italy was “Pay no attention to the tower – it was a [scornful tone] tenth century addition.”

copperbadge

My last boss was Chinese, and she said when her parents came to visit her from Beijing they pronounced Chicago “A very nice village.”

fckin-deactivated20171107

so when are men gonna realize that women aren’t complicated and we’re actually just normal people and it’s men that lack emotional depth and interesting personalities?

leatheresque-deactivated2018010

Yeah….. Except I’m an emotional man with tons of depth. I speak 5 languages and play every instrument known. I can build a house. I can plant a garden. I know a little bit about everything.

Maybe women really are cunts who just seek to destroy men and invalidate them?

fckin-deactivated20171107

i have no idea how to reply to this cause it’s simply just the funniest thing i’ve ever read and nothing will ever top it

beepbeepbeepbeep-deactivated202

origin story

trilllizard666

he managed to start to regrow his funnybone after quitting buzzfeed.

miqorems

holy shit buzzfeed really was sucking the goddamn life out of him

slavery

How do you interoperate this meme?

A: you open the door and all the pizza man sees is you with your hand out for the pizza

B: you open the door for the pizza man and he has is hand out for the money

peachtimes-deactivated20170113

josh i can’t interoperate this meme cuz “interoperate” isn’t a word

slavery

Thanks for confirming I’m an idiot we all can’t go to law school like you

armandyke

T’Challa: I am the Black Panther, protector of Wakanda, and this is my Black Panther supersuit.

Peter Parker, a millenial who knows exactly what a furry is: :/

racheltheclumsy

Shuri, a millennial who also knows exactly what a furry is and designed the suit: :]

floralgoddex-deactivated2018061

straight person: but how do you Know when someone around you is gay?

me: today in yoga class our instructor said “this exercise is about being straight” and i immediately said “i’ve never been good at that” and only one (1) woman laughed. she had four piercings in her ears. what else do you need me to tell you

edromyheart

My landlord came to fix an issue to day with the apartment. He looks around the living room at the decor and the newly painted walls.

In a heavy Russian accent: “Your wife have very good sense of style.”

Me: “Actually, I live here alone.”

Landlord: “Ah, homosexual. Figured. I live in the apartment under you.”

Me: 😳

itsaruse

theweirdwideweb

intothewonderfulunknown

Literally one of my favorite things is just people in historical costume doing modern things

captainsnoop-deactivated2020041

how the human brain works:

electricity tickles the meat so that different slimes come out. sometimes the slime feels good sometimes bad. some people make more bad slime than good slime. that’s called clinical depression.