Welcome to the Pit.

Leigh | 30 | She/Her I've been here for way too long, but I'm not leaving any time soon.

[havinganormalone]

Fanfiction is insane. You can write porn so good you make friends.

[grandfather-paradoxx]

Here’s a hoping

[deehlia]

Yotsuba Light vs Kira Light

[deehlia]

hi!!! coming in to ask game a little late with these :3

14- if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? 64- Favorite dipping sauce?

hi!!!!

14. If you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? Why?

I don't think that this is how this question was intended but it's what came to mind. I would want to live in a small town by the water, a river or a lake, where everything was in walking distance. So I could walk into town to buy the things I need and sometimes get distracted on the way by whatever caught my eye. And all the people I love would live there too so I could walk to their houses when I wanted to bring them food or say hi. I am not the best at keeping up with people digitally, even when I really want to be, but I find it really easy and natural to be present when I'm physically with them. I also grew up in a generational home, some of my aunts and uncles lived down the street and would stop by whenever to visit my Nana and say hi unannounced. I always loved how easy it felt to be close to people when you live close by too.

64. Favorite dipping sauce?

Bachan's Japanese Barbecue Sauce, I could put it on anyyyyyyyything. I've been working my way through the flavors but my current favorite is their roasted garlic one.

Ask me an unusual ask!

[rpfofficial]

i think we should introduce blogger rpf to the ecosystem just cos im curious to see how people would characterise me and my relationship with my mutuals. also i'd read enemies to lovers fics of me and my mutuals in law that have me blocked

[moreornea]

Third wheel curse

[deehlia]

11, 69, 73

11. favorite social media account

This is so hard! Idk how to pick a fav because there are so many different categories of accounts I follow (artists, video essayists, cosplayers, etc..) but I’ll say Micarah Tewers. She makes crazy sewing videos/vlogs about her life and I’ve followed her for years. She is so completely herself and creates things for the pure joy of it. 

69. do you play an instrument?

I haven’t kept up with it but I played oboe for many years! I also took piano lessons for a time. Idk if this counts but I am also a classically trained singer and used to do competitions. 

73.do you want to get married?

I’m actually engaged and actively planning a wedding, so yes lol. I know I talk about my beautiful girlfriend a lot but I also have a spectacular fiancé. He gets along very well with her and her husband :)   

Ask me an unusual ask!

[deehlia]

9, 10, and 16 for the ask game please, mysterious and beautiful stranger 💋

my girlfriend will get jealous if you keep acting so flirty 💋

9. where do you shop?

Lol where don’t I. If we’re talking about clothes I love finding funky little treasures and getting a good deal. I love local thrift stores, hole in the wall consignment shops, yard sales, and also TJ Maxx. I want to go somewhere where I have to dig so I can feel the thrill of the hunt. The same goes for online shopping, I always look second hand first and have a pretty uncanny ability to find specific items that I’m looking for. 

10. how would you describe your style?

This is so difficult because I am a clothing collector through and through and I will never be able to fully stick to one style. I treat outfits like costumes, when getting dressed I think about what I want to embody and how I want to be perceived, which changes day to day. If I had to give a name to my style I think it would be Eclectic Business Pixie. I like bold patterns, statement pieces, and kitschy accessories, and overall want my outfits to have a sense of whimsy. But I keep it professional for work with more sex appeal in my free time.

16. favorite makeup brand(s)?

God I have so many

Glossier for highlighters, balms, and perfumes (I used to get everything from them before the company changed hands)

Juvia’s Place for eyeshadow 

Milk for blush 

NYX for brow products, eyeliners, lipliners, and glosses 

Nars for concealer 

Covergirl and Elf for lipstains 

Danessa Myricks for everything (if I had the money for it ;__; everything she makes is stunning and innovative)

Mehron for SFX makeup 

and so many more for specific products. I have favorites for different skin tones and skin types when I’m shopping for work. 

Ask me an unusual ask!

[luxet]

Unusual Asks

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? 

is your room messy or clean?

what color are your eyes?

do you like your name? why?

what is your relationship status? 

describe your personality in 3 words or less

what color hair do you have?

what kind of car do you drive? color?

where do you shop?

how would you describe your style?

favorite social media account

what size bed do you have? 

any siblings?

if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?

favorite snapchat filter? 

favorite makeup brand(s)

how many times a week do you shower?

favorite tv show?

shoe size?

how tall are you?

sandals or sneakers? 

do you go to the gym? 

describe your dream date

how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?

what color socks are you wearing? 

how many pillows do you sleep with?

do you have a job? what do you do? 

how many friends do you have? 

whats the worst thing you have ever done? 

whats your favorite candle scent? 

3 favorite boy names

3 favorite girl names

favorite actor? 

favorite actress? 

who is your celebrity crush?

favorite movie? 

do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? 

money or brains? 

do you have a nickname? what is it? 

how many times have you been to the hospital?

top 10 favorite songs

do you take any medications daily? 

what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)

what is your biggest fear? 

how many kids do you want? 

whats your go to hair style?

what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) 

who is your role model? 

what was the last compliment you received?

what was the last text you sent?

how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?

what is your dream car? 

opinion on smoking?

do you go to college? 

what is your dream job? 

would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? 

do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? 

do you have freckles? 

do you smile for pictures?

how many pictures do you have on your phone? 

have you ever peed in the woods? 

do you still watch cartoons? 

do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds?

Favorite dipping sauce? 

what do you wear to bed? 

have you ever won a spelling bee?

 what are your hobbies?

can you draw? 

do you play an instrument?

what was the last concert you saw? 

tea or coffee?

Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?

do you want to get married?

what is your crush’s first and last initial?

are you going to change your last name when you get married? 

what color looks best on you? 

do you miss anyone right now? 

do you sleep with your door open or closed?

do you believe in ghosts?

what is your biggest pet peeve? 

last person you called`

favorite ice cream flavor? 

regular oreos or golden oreos? 

chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? 

what shirt are you wearing? 

what is your phone background?

are you outgoing or shy?

do you like it when people play with your hair?

do you like your neighbors? 

do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?

have you ever been high? 

have you ever been drunk? 

last thing you ate? 

favorite lyrics right now

summer or winter? 

day or night? 

dark, milk, or white chocolate? 

favorite month? 

what is your zodiac sign

 who was the last person you cried in front of? 

[transfemdave]

what I gathered so far from Meronia Fanon Consensus is that many people tend to make near more self-aware (near??) and conscious of their dynamic. resulting in somewhat absurd uhh bl-tropes-induced situation where near figured it all out at age zero and is willing to graciously and faithfully wait till mello gets over his baseless badboy hysterics. and I’m not saying mello is without his delusions fuelled by insecurities, just that I can’t say they are completely divorced from reality. like… we are shown that near is impassive, withdrawn, immature, willing to use people (including mello) as means to an end, has a very high opinion of himself (being told throughout your life that you’re the specialest cookie ever does that to a person) and unless the stakes are worth it is not willing to inconvenience himself. not to mention his negative social skills. this guy is NOT equipped for feelings realisations much less doing something sensible about them unless put under extreme pressure

and at the end of the day it’s just boring? mello’s reservations about their dynamic without the degree of realism that near’s shitty behaviour lends them become too silly. but at least mello has his own shit to deal with. unlike near whose only job is to ruefully wait until mello calms down. why throw away their mutual fun canon dysfunction? #not my monkeys

[deehlia]

I am interested to know where your fanon meronia assessment is coming from. Meta posts, fanfiction, comics? Correct me if I'm wrong but it sounds like your take away is that the meronia fanon consensus of Near is that he has figured out his feeling for Mello, figured out Mello's feelings for him, and is calmly waiting for Mello to get over himself so they can be together? If my understanding is correct, it feels like a surface level (or worst case, bad faith) read of how I have seen the fandom explore the ship through Near. As you point out, Near is stoic and withdrawn, which is why a lot of fic authors write him as more introspective on his own feelings when exploring him in a romantic context. I have not gotten a sense that it is a trope that Near is aware of Mello's feelings for him, if anything I have seen the opposite much more often. Near's passiveness in this context is a result of him thinking that he has no chance and thus is not going to try for more than proximity to Mello. It is how some people interpret his bad social skills, even if he thinks that Mello doesn't really hate him (which I think is well illustrated in their reunion scene), he is not going to try to proposition him.

I also disagree with some of your interpretations of Near. Near is not purely impassive. We see him smile, giggle, smash toys in frustration, flinch in fear, as well point blank express that he is upset or scared. He is not devoid of emotion, he just expresses it differently than most. I don't think he uses people. He states his intentions for what he wants from people and gives them the choice to work with him or not. He is incredibly blunt about it which often makes it come off as uncaring, but he also states multiple times that he understands if people do not want to put themselves at risk. I don't think he's shown to have an overly high opinion of himself. While he has been told that he is "special" enough to succeed L he knows he was not chosen outright. He got the role to himself because Mello left. From most of Near's dialogue about L, I would say that he thinks of L as the "specialist little cookie" who he will never be able to live up to on his own. Though, I do think he is a little prince about a lot of things, he is especially not used to hearing "No". I don't think any of these points stop him from having realizations about his own feelings, he is still a very smart person. What he does with them of course is where fan works thrive.

And of course Mello is not purely hysterical, Near does know how to hit a nerve in him and vice versa. Most meronia fans that create fan works are exploring that tension in all kinds of different ways. I've seen so many different interpretation of their dynamic in the meronia fandom, all of which are very influenced by the conditions of the universe they are set it. It's rare that meronia will be purely set in the canon timeline given that Mello is, well, dead in that one.

Also, in reference to your reply: While true, it is your blog and you can post whatever you want, posting something calling the majority of fan interpretations "absurd ahh bl-tropes" and "boring" into the ship tag is kind of as close as you can get to calling people out by name without actually doing it. There are not that many people actively making work and they're doing it for their enjoyment and the enjoyment of others.

[transfemdave]

woah… alright, so. though I chose a pretty specific example, as I said the gist of my bitching is (as it often happens in fandom) there’s noticeable gap between the level of inner life/agency/shortcomings that have to be overcome given to each character in a ship. while it could be said that their proactive/reactive dualism is the point, which I can agree with in a lot of cases. but character’s passivity, in actions or thoughts, is something that can be addressed and woven into the plot. whereas in near’s case it often looks like it’s less his own developed trait and more like passivity inherent to Designated Love Interest. this is an existing trend in fandoms that amounts to more than each person’s personal preference/interpretation.

as for my interpretation of near you’re right that points I made can be given counterexamples. I don’t really think he’s just the sum of flaws I listed. however I do think each is present in canon to some degree. and specifically mentioned them as a sort of… example? why mellos antipathy towards near isnt nonsensical or influenced solely by his insecurities/cultivated rivalry. also because I think overlooking characters flaws is just as detrimental as overlooking their good qualities. let near be an asshole my 2026 campaign.

anyway I do realise people’s preferences regarding fandom activity/shipping are influenced by many factors and the end goal is to have a good time. however imo complaining without singling anyone out is not really close to unwanted/unwarranted open confrontations. I could’ve expressed my point more politely but ultimately I feel there’s a certain level of rudeness that is acceptable in these situations thanks to ease of managing one’s online experience

thanks for your response. although I think it’s “everyone will stick to their own opinions” situation, you expressed your point well

[deehlia]

I do want to make it clear that I was being genuine when I asked where your observation was coming from, if it was mostly from posts or from reading meronia fic. I was curious to understand what your thoughts about meronia fanon were based on, because I can think of many examples in fanworks where Near’s passivity is woven into the plot, or where he is very active in his pursuit of Mello, both by fic authors and comic artists. Which is what made me confused by your claim that the majority of meronia works stage Near as a sort of BL love interest prop. I would believe the claim that this is the case for some (I haven’t consumed all there is currently out there) but as someone who has been active in this community for years, I cannot agree that that is the fanon consensus. I certainly would not enjoy some cardboard cut-out, Dorito Faced Sempai and Shota Boy version of Near. 

Listen. There are points I agree with you on. Honestly, if you had made a post that said “I hate when Near isn’t given agency in ships” or “I want to see more people explore all of Near’s shittiest traits, especially through meronia, here are the reasons I think that would be fun” I would have loved that post, I probably would have reblogged it. I have mutuals that have become my irl friends that have completely different views on canon from me, and it brings me so much joy to listen to their interpretations of characters we both love. What I will never be able to get behind is making someone else feel dumb or bad to make a point about what you personally like. We have such a small community and there is really no need for it, there’s room for everyone here.

Of course everyone can just block people they disagree with, but is that the goal? To make each other feel like shit until no one wants to speak to each other or people just leave, when we could all create a space where we treat each other with respect instead? In the same way that people block to curate their online experience, people also follow certain tags with the expectation that posts in that tag will be neutral to positive about the subject (this is especially true for ship tags). Honestly I’m all for being a cunt, just don’t tag it lol. 

Thank you for your response, I hope that you stick around and see more of what we have going on here. I don’t plan on blocking you.

[deehlia]

I'm so fucking stoked at the amount of people that are also excited about #sex-toy-special-interest-Near because I have some things in the works👀but I also have to shout out @chupacabrafritz who has been doing it since day one

[chupacabrafritz]

Spy on me baby use satellite

Infrared to see me move through the night

Aim gonna fire shoot me right

I'm gonna like the way you fight

Now you found the secret code I use

to wash away my lonely blues

So I can't deny or lie cause you're

the only one to make me fly~

Fullbody under “more” (censored)

[chupacabrafritz]

Death Note pinup~

I love male pin ups 🫦

Full size in “more” (censored)

I want to color these.

[neallo]

starstruck

rated T | 2/2 chapters | 3,200 words

There’s a boy Mello can’t stop looking at in the second row. White hair, dark eyes, round-ish face. He’s kind of pretty, and kind of Mello’s type, but that isn’t why he’s looking. — Graduate student Nate River meets internationally-acclaimed rockstar Mihael Keehl— stage name Mello. One of them is a little starstruck.

[deehlia]

I love subversive Near headcanons. Make that boy eat spicy food and love alcohol. Give him a special interest in sex toys

[transfemdave]

what I gathered so far from Meronia Fanon Consensus is that many people tend to make near more self-aware (near??) and conscious of their dynamic. resulting in somewhat absurd uhh bl-tropes-induced situation where near figured it all out at age zero and is willing to graciously and faithfully wait till mello gets over his baseless badboy hysterics. and I’m not saying mello is without his delusions fuelled by insecurities, just that I can’t say they are completely divorced from reality. like… we are shown that near is impassive, withdrawn, immature, willing to use people (including mello) as means to an end, has a very high opinion of himself (being told throughout your life that you’re the specialest cookie ever does that to a person) and unless the stakes are worth it is not willing to inconvenience himself. not to mention his negative social skills. this guy is NOT equipped for feelings realisations much less doing something sensible about them unless put under extreme pressure

and at the end of the day it’s just boring? mello’s reservations about their dynamic without the degree of realism that near’s shitty behaviour lends them become too silly. but at least mello has his own shit to deal with. unlike near whose only job is to ruefully wait until mello calms down. why throw away their mutual fun canon dysfunction? #not my monkeys

[deehlia]

I am interested to know where your fanon meronia assessment is coming from. Meta posts, fanfiction, comics? Correct me if I'm wrong but it sounds like your take away is that the meronia fanon consensus of Near is that he has figured out his feeling for Mello, figured out Mello's feelings for him, and is calmly waiting for Mello to get over himself so they can be together? If my understanding is correct, it feels like a surface level (or worst case, bad faith) read of how I have seen the fandom explore the ship through Near. As you point out, Near is stoic and withdrawn, which is why a lot of fic authors write him as more introspective on his own feelings when exploring him in a romantic context. I have not gotten a sense that it is a trope that Near is aware of Mello's feelings for him, if anything I have seen the opposite much more often. Near's passiveness in this context is a result of him thinking that he has no chance and thus is not going to try for more than proximity to Mello. It is how some people interpret his bad social skills, even if he thinks that Mello doesn't really hate him (which I think is well illustrated in their reunion scene), he is not going to try to proposition him.

I also disagree with some of your interpretations of Near. Near is not purely impassive. We see him smile, giggle, smash toys in frustration, flinch in fear, as well point blank express that he is upset or scared. He is not devoid of emotion, he just expresses it differently than most. I don't think he uses people. He states his intentions for what he wants from people and gives them the choice to work with him or not. He is incredibly blunt about it which often makes it come off as uncaring, but he also states multiple times that he understands if people do not want to put themselves at risk. I don't think he's shown to have an overly high opinion of himself. While he has been told that he is "special" enough to succeed L he knows he was not chosen outright. He got the role to himself because Mello left. From most of Near's dialogue about L, I would say that he thinks of L as the "specialist little cookie" who he will never be able to live up to on his own. Though, I do think he is a little prince about a lot of things, he is especially not used to hearing "No". I don't think any of these points stop him from having realizations about his own feelings, he is still a very smart person. What he does with them of course is where fan works thrive.

And of course Mello is not purely hysterical, Near does know how to hit a nerve in him and vice versa. Most meronia fans that create fan works are exploring that tension in all kinds of different ways. I've seen so many different interpretation of their dynamic in the meronia fandom, all of which are very influenced by the conditions of the universe they are set it. It's rare that meronia will be purely set in the canon timeline given that Mello is, well, dead in that one.

Also, in reference to your reply: While true, it is your blog and you can post whatever you want, posting something calling the majority of fan interpretations "absurd ahh bl-tropes" and "boring" into the ship tag is kind of as close as you can get to calling people out by name without actually doing it. There are not that many people actively making work and they're doing it for their enjoyment and the enjoyment of others.

[deehlia]

It’s really too bad that Matt and Mello didn’t survive because I would have really loved to see Mello have to have an intervention for Matt after he goes full Her (2013) and marries an anime girl AI chatbot

[meroniaevent]

we’re excited to officially announce that we will be holding the seventh annual meronia event this summer. follow us to stay up to date on the details, as more information will be coming early next month!