Who/Whomst @defenestrator999 - Tumblr Blog

being a vampire rn is really hard bc of the housing crisis like. older vampires do Not get it. if you were turned in France in 1350 I literally do not want to hear about it from you. do you know how hard it is to lure a young lawyer to your home when you have roommates?? and the roommates aren’t your accursed brides for the record. they’re just some dudes. one of them is a middle school teacher.

not to mention some landlords these days will even just straight up use the basement in the place YOU’RE renting for their own storage?? so you can’t even access the basement so you’re not sleeping in soil down there.

my one friend literally pays $1300 a month for a STUDIO and she just has a bunch of soil in a big plastic tub and she has to sleep with her knees all bent up.

and like at least she can lure artists there pretty easily because it’s like very industrial

but idk. and older vampires will be like “a year of your rent costs more than my entire manor and all of its grounds! why don’t you simply buy an estate?”

yeah dude I don’t doubt that you bought your entire manor and the monastic ruins and its cemetery and the haunted woods for €4,000 in fucking 1708!!! DUH!!! Fuck off

marz-likes-palaces

@ribbed-vault-heart this sounds like your type of thing?

mias-back-from-the-dead

tbh i think the funniest phenomena that’s been happening in the last couple years is “youtuber, having gone too deep into the research hole, has been made an investigative journalist against their will”

aces-and-anime

Shout out to the guy who wanted to do some fun & silly little reviews but uncovered an illegal gambling operation

(Review 2)

json-derulo

this guy started out poking fun at australian politicians and ended up investigating the firebombing of his own home, during which he uncovered connections between the same politician he was making fun of + major organized crime

nudityandnerdery

“So I did what any normal person would do, okay? I bought a hat and some makeup and disguised myself so that I could go undercover and do some digging on what I thought could be an illegal gambling operation that was fronting as a kebab restaurant.”

Amazing.

espanolbot2

I for one, welcome this new niche genre of detective fiction.

firefox-official

is anybody following

sacred-portal

archacovercosine

"Children are dying."

Lull nodded. "That's a succinct summary of humankind, I'd say. Who needs tomes and volumes of history? Children are dying. The injustices of the world hide in those three words."

- Steven Erikson, Deadhouse Gates

humanoid--human

i've heard it said that malazan is a three million word essay on the nature of compassion

and this is true

but if malazan is an essay then this here is the thesis statement:

“We humans do not understand compassion. In each moment of our lives, we betray it. Aye, we know of its worth, yet in knowing we then attach to it a value, we guard the giving of it, believing it must be earned, T’lan Imass. Compassion is priceless in the truest sense of the word. It must be given freely. In abundance.”

and that sentiment is so utterly beautiful that by itself it balances all three million words and ten books of cynicism and despair and suffering

let alone the fact that throughout the series this thesis is lived out again and again

these books man

nagayamaa

theriverbeyond

i must not get takeout. takeout is the wallet-killer. takeout is the little-death that brings total obliteration. i will face the kitchen, fridge, and pantry. i will make choices about what to cook and then execute them. when hunger is gone there will be nothing. only i will remain.

akumeoy

executive dysfunction is inherently funny because it sounds so painfully fake that it wraps back around to being a good excuse. like if i was lying about not being able to do stuff, i would at least be able to come up with something more convincing than "i have not doing stuff syndrome"

#wizardposting #wizmud #wiz zone #wizard shit #wizardcore

chromaticabrasions

👻 corpsecourse Follow

dni if you support relationships between vampires and the vampire they sired. i am so serious, i dont care what your justification is, that is an unforgivable power imbalance. its almost as bad as vampire human relationships (and if you support that i hope you get a splinter in the heart)

🧛‍♀️ vampbites Follow

op what the fuck is your problem? more maggots in your brain than usual? go out into the real underworld and touch some graveyard dirt. i know at least 7 vampires who are in happy healthy relationships with the vampire who sired them. me included! this may shock you but we started dating when i was human and she was a vamp!

👻 corpsecourse Follow

i hate to tell you this but you're in a toxic relationship and i sincerely hope youre able to get out.

🧛‍♀️ vampbites Follow

HELLO???????

🦇 battybrained Follow

i keep seeing people saying this shit and honestly i think it stems from the infantalization of humans. humans are capable of making decisions for themselves. do some vampires abuse their powers over humans? of course! but you cant assume that every single human vampire relationship (or sire and sired relationship for that matter) is some unhealthy power imbalance, especially when you dont even know them!!!

⚰ fangs4fags Follow

i think op is forgetting that humans can be just as harmful to vampires as they can be to humans. dont tell me you completely just forgot about the existence of vampire slayers

🧛‍♂️ coffincreeper Follow

next thing you know op is gonna be saying that a hundred year age gap between fully fledged vampires is problematic

👻 corpsecourse Follow

it literally is. i dont care if you are a 1000 years old vampire, if your significant other is 100 years older than you they have more life experience than you. god you guys are stupid why dont you all step into a sunbeam

🩸 f33d3r Follow

hey guys i just went to ops account and their pinned post was about how they dont consider werewolves part of the monster community cuz theyre not undead. just block and move on it is NOT worth it

🐺vamplovingwolf Follow

isnt it funny how whenever theres some rancid discourse like this its always made by coffinscrews