Play A Day

An exercise in playwriting. Results may vary.

[degreeinplaywriting]

in which Aziraphale and Crowley watch OFMD

I’ve seen a few posts going around about people reflecting on the relationship between Aziraphale and Crowley in Good Omens after watching Our Flag Means Death, and this has been in my head ever since. Spoilers for OFMD, so please go watch that immediately.

Scene: Aziraphale and Crowley on a couch in Aziraphale’s flat.

Crowley: So it’s the same guy who did What We Do In The Shadows?

Aziraphale: Exactly. But it’s pirates. I thought it’d be perfect for us to watch together.

Crowley: Yeah, all right, put it on.

five minutes into the first episode

Crowley: Aziraphale, this guy is you. I’m pretty sure he’s stolen your exact wardrobe.

Aziraphale: Very funny. Now be quiet, I’m watching.

Crowley: Only your accent’s posher.

Aziraphale: Is it? I have no idea what a posh New Zealand accent even sounds like.

Crowley (also has no idea): Oh, yeah. Loads posher.

several episodes later, after Blackbeard reveals he hasn’t killed anyone besides his father

Aziraphale: Oho! Crowley, this one’s you! Dresses in all black, acts real tough but is actually just a big softie.

Crowley: That’s nothing like me.

pause

Crowley: So you think I’d look good with a beard, then?

a couple more episodes later, Stede is picking food from Blackbeard’s beard during the treasure hunt

Aziraphale: Aw, they are like us. Look, they’ve become unlikely friends.

Crowley: Don’t ever touch my beard, though.

Aziraphale: Crowley, you don’t have a beard.

Crowley: I don’t have a beard yet.

the penultimate episode has arrived. Edward and Stede are sitting on the beach.

Aziraphale (tearing up): Their friendship is so beau--

Edward kisses Stede.

Aziraphale: 

Crowley:

Aziraphale:

Crowley:

Aziraphale: Ah. I always forget how physical humans are with their affection.

Crowley: Oh yeah, humans are way into that sort of thing. Very human.

Aziraphale: Precisely.

a few minutes further into that episode

Aziraphale: He’s leaving?? No, no, Stede! You don’t ruin people, Stede.

Crowley (not crying at all): Shh, I’m watching.

Aziraphale: Well there’s one more episode, I’m sure they’ll make up.

final episode. Blackbeard cuts off Izzy’s toe and feeds it to him.

Aziraphale: No! Why would he do that?

Crowley: That’s exactly what I would do if I were him, to be honest.

Aziraphale: You would -- you would chop off your employee’s toe and make him eat it?

Crowley: Angel, I introduced humanity to sin by making a woman eat an apple. Making one man eat his toe can’t be much worse than that.

pause

Crowley: Besides, Izzy’s a dick.

they finish the final episode

Crowley: What, that’s it?

Aziraphale: That’s the whole season.

Crowley: Come on, there’s got to be more. Can you miracle more?

Aziraphale: Doesn’t work like that with stories. Believe me, I’ve tried.

Crowley: So that’s it.

Aziraphale: Yes.

Crowley: Well, it was certainly...interesting.

Aziraphale: Indeed.

Crowley: Well. Guess I’d better be off, then.

they stand up to say goodbye and face each other awkwardly for a minute. Finally, Aziraphale extends his hand. Crowley raises an eyebrow and shakes it.

End.

[writing-prompt-s]

Your Tumblr username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?

[lids-flutter-open]

I walk in the forest 🌳

[crimelords]

I rob a bank! kill a lawman! my gal is my getaway driver! we drink bootleg gin and listen to josephine baker

[istanbl]

I’m a city. just like… the whole city.

[matlsse]

i own! and curate! a museum with every! matisse! piece! ever!

[middaypaintra-deactivated201707]

I’m a powerful paint being who only works during the midday

[pinkiepiebones]

❓❓❓

[vsadcactus]

i’m a sad cactus. like a very sad cactus.

[tunajorts]

i have to push a rock up a hill. every time i get it to the top, it rolls back down and i have to push it up again

[avatarerin]

oh shit… i’m the master of all four elements. well im dead.

[acab-ybara]

I’m the mayor of scarftown ahahahahah

[ghostilliary]

Drag Wizard?

[degreeinplaywriting]

I have a job in something other than playwriting.

[degreeinplaywriting]

New Blog: This Time We Speak Up

I am heartened by all the calls I see on my social media feeds from my privileged friends asking for ways to help. I decided we need one place where we can keep track of these suggestions, where we can signal-boost organization and initiatives that need support, so I created a new Tumblr: http://thistimewespeakup.tumblr.com/

I literally created it right now as I'm sitting at jury duty, so it has nothing on it right now. Friends who have started collecting resources, please send them in. Post it around, follow it, whatever -- let's start getting our people in one place. Let's hold good on our promises not to be silent.

(And please, please, if I post anything incorrect or disrespectful, please call me out, but I'll do my best to do due diligence and research anything sent my way.)

[degreeinplaywriting]

January 13, 2015

Happy New Year.  Here are three scenes about depression below the cut.  Content warnings for depression, self-hatred.

SCENE I

(SOMEONE jumps rope and speaks in a peppy, radio ad voice.)

SOMEONE New year, new you!  51 ways to keep your New Year's resolution!

SOMEONE It takes 28 days to form a habit!

SOMEONE Exercise is one of the best treatments for depression!

SOMEONE Do this every day, and you'll sleep better!

(DEPRESSION runs onstage, tackles SOMEONE.  Rips the jump rope away and throws it as far as possible.  Pins SOMEONE to the ground, traps arms.  SOMEONE stares off, unfocused.  Days pass.  Blackout.)

SCENE II

(SOMEONE cleans up their room.)

SOMEONE It's crazy how easy this is.  I've been trying to do this for years, to become a neater person.  Now I've been setting aside five minutes a day to tidy up, and it's so manageable.  I don't know why it seemed so hard before.  It's just five minutes a day.  What can be hard about that?

(DEPRESSION slams open the door.)

SOMEONE Oh.  I wasn't expecting --

(DEPRESSION menaces towards SOMEONE, who cowers until they're sitting on the bed.  DEPRESSION curls up next to them, head in their lap.  SOMEONE lays back, staring at the ceiling.  Days pass.  Blackout.)

SCENE III

(SOMEONE talks to their reflection.)

SOMEONE I don't hate myself, anymore.  I spent a lot of time hating myself when I was younger.  My body, of course, which I'd been trained to hate.  But also, how awkward I was, how often I messed up, how I sounded, how I could never force myself to stick with something and get really good at it.  I hated myself a lot, and I was depressed a lot.  

But I don't hate myself anymore.  It feels absolutely amazing.  The hatred's gone.

(DEPRESSION appears from the shadows.  SOMEONE looks at it.)

SOMEONE I thought you'd go with it.

(DEPRESSION and SOMEONE regard each other.  SOMEONE slowly sinks down onto the floor.  DEPRESSION stays standing, staring.  Blackout.)

[degreeinplaywriting]

November 30th

It's important to make noise when the world's not right.  I don't believe that noise made on Tumblr is less important than noise made elsewhere.

I want to thank all the people I follow on social media who have been reblogging about Ferguson and about other black people who have lost their lives while their killers have walked free.

In addition to making noise on Tumblr, here are a bunch of posts to check out about other ways to support and to never stop fighting:

Ferguson is a food desert, here's info about helping

Tips for discussing this situation with ignorant/bigoted people

Contact your representative!

Good places to put your money, if you can

Places to donate, things to share, petitions to sign

Master Post of Facts Against Darren Wilson

More places to donate, sign, protest, and so on

Find a way that you can help, and do it.

I have a short play below the cut.  It will not be my last on this subject.

(How to create bias in a headline, while pretending to remove bias in a headline.)

HEADLINES Boy Killed by Man.  Boy Shot and Killed by Man.  Black Boy Shot and Killed by White Man.  Black Boy Shot and Killed by White Police Officer.  Black Teenager Shot and Killed by Police Officer.  Delinquent Shot and Killed by Police Officer.  Suspected Shoplifter Shot and Killed by Police Officer.  Suspected Shoplifter Shot and Killed by Threatened Police Officer.  Suspected Criminal Shot and Killed by Threatened Police Officer.  Suspected Criminal Shot and Killed by Threatened Police Officer with Hands Up.  While Fleeing Scene.  While --

(stutters, pauses, loses momentum)

While Disobeying Police Orders.  Suspected Criminal Shot and Killed by Threatened Police Officer While Disobeying Police Orders.  Coming up next: a look into this delinquent's troubled past.

[degreeinplaywriting]

November 15th

Been pretty stuck recently, but I wrote this.

Drew back on my challenging words list for inspiration.

Mirabile Dictu: wonderful to relate

(A CHILD's bedroom.  CHILD in bed, PARENT tucking them in.)

CHILD Can you read me a bedtime story?

PARENT Sure, sweetie.

(PARENT goes to bookcase, grabs a book.)

PARENT How about this one?

CHILD That one?  Again?

PARENT It's my favorite.

CHILD You've read it to me every night this week!

PARENT I just love reading it to you.

CHILD Don't you get bored?

PARENT No.

CHILD Jeez, you're like a child.

PARENT Am not!

CHILD Are, too!

PARENT It's a good book!

CHILD Don't you think you're a little old for it, though?

PARENT Not yet.

CHILD Fine.  If that's the one you really want to read, go ahead.

(PARENT beams and opens the book.  Blackout.)

[degreeinplaywriting]

September 3

"I don't know" is like a safety net but like the kind of safety net that you get tangled up in and can't escape.

(ONE and TWO.)

ONE Hey, do you mind if we reschedule for tomorrow?  A friend's gonna be in town.

TWO I don't know.

ONE You don't know if you mind?

TWO No, I don't.

ONE Are you okay?

TWO I don't know.  I don't think so.

ONE What do you mean?

TWO I can't feel anything.  I can't tell if I mind if you reschedule for tomorrow.  I can't tell if I am upset by that notion.

ONE Listen, if it's that big a deal, I can be there.

TWO No, it's not about that.  I already couldn't feel before you asked.

ONE I don't understand.

TWO Okay.

ONE Is there anything I can do to help?

TWO I don't know.

ONE No ideas at all?  Chocolate?  Back rub?  Distractions?

TWO I can't remember what it feels like to feel happy.  I can't tell what will cheer me up, because nothing I can imagine feels like anything but nothingness.  I imagine eating chocolate, which I know I've enjoyed in the past, but I feel nothing when I imagine it.

ONE Oh.  That...sucks.

TWO Yes, I think it might.

ONE Do you want me to go?

TWO I don't know.

[degreeinplaywriting]

August 25

Every time I'm on the subway and someone starts preaching about Christianity, I get angry.  It makes me so mad that we live in a society where politicians HAVE to declare their Christian faith in order to have a chance at being elected to national office, where the MAJORITY of the people in this country identify as Christian and will support laws based on their interpretation of what that means, and yet, I've never heard a person of any other religion talking about it to strangers on the subway.  YOU'RE ALREADY IN CONTROL.  YOU DON'T GET TO YELL ON THE SUBWAY.  Can you imagine what the response would be if someone of a different religion started subway preaching?  There'd be outrage!

(for more on Christian privilege, look here!)

Anyway.  I wrote this.

(A subway.  The PREACHER stands silently while the subway is at the platform.  Once the doors close, the PREACHER begins talking.  Throughout, the others on the train ignore the PREACHER, trying not to make eye contact.)

PREACHER Folks, I am here to tell you today about something that will change your life.  Let me tell you, when I was younger, I did not lead a righteous life.  I judged others.  I hated myself.  I was seeking the wrong things for the wrong reasons.  

But then, one day, folks, my life changed.  Because on that day, a beautiful summer morning a few years ago, I walked down the street to the church on the corner, walked right in, and said, "Take my name off your mailing lists.  I'll no longer be attending this church."

I know that many of you have heard this story before, and you're telling yourself that it's not for you.  Our Christian-ruled society will tell you that it is shameful to be an atheist.  Our politicians insist that the only way to lead a moral life is by following the word of the Christian God.  But I'm here to tell you -- they're wrong.

(PREACHER pauses as the subway pulls up to the next stop, resumes speaking when the doors have closed.)

Brothers and sisters, I stand before you today more humble, more kind, and more gracious because I made the decision to leave the church I'd been raised in all those years ago.  It wasn't easy.  I was still clinging to the temptations that religion offered me, eternal life, forgiveness for all my sins, a sense of community.  But as I grew stronger, I discovered a community outside of the church.  I discovered my sense of self worth.  And I discovered that I had an easier time taking responsibility for my actions when I made the decisions for myself with consideration for the feelings of others, rather than based off the supposed will of an all-powerful being.

Folks, I am sure that some of you on this train today here my words and think, "Oh, yes, I'm in that place now, I'm struggling with those same temptations."  And I hope that my words lend you strength.  I hope that the struggles I've been through will help you rise up, to throw off those chains that hold you, and to step free into a new kind of light, one that will brighten up your life and let you see the world around you differently than you do today.  That is my hope for each and every one of you here today.

(The PREACHER walks down the aisle, trying to give cards with information about atheism to train riders, trying to engage them in conversations about converting to atheism.  At the next stop, the PREACHER leaves the train.)

[degreeinplaywriting]

August 20th

A scene between some characters I'm working on.

(EVE sits on the couch, reading.  Looks up to sound of door opening.  Runs toward LYDIA as she enters.  They embrace.)

EVE Lydia!  You're back!

LYDIA I know, finally.

(They kiss.)

EVE I can't believe how long it took you to get here.

LYDIA Ugh.  It was the train ride from hell.

EVE That explains it, then.  Hell's pretty far away.

(EVE grins at her own joke.  LYDIA rolls her eyes at her.)

EVE So the train broke down?

LYDIA The first one, yeah.  And then the second one was super crowded, so I couldn't sit, and my feet were killing me.

EVE That sucks.  I'm sorry, babe.

LYDIA On the bright side, though, they didn't punch my ticket.

EVE What?

LYDIA They only come through to punch them about every other stop, so they didn't get to me before the train broke down, and the second train was so crowded that they didn't come through at all.

EVE Oh.

LYDIA So I've got a free ride for next time!

EVE Hmm.

LYDIA What?

EVE Well, it's not exactly...right, is it?  To use the ticket again?

LYDIA Why not?  It's not my fault they didn't punch it.

EVE But you're supposed to pay for train rides.

LYDIA I did pay for it.  And then they made my life miserable by not maintaining their trains properly.  I think a free ride is only fair.

EVE But it's not right.  Shit like that happens.

LYDIA And some people benefit when it does.  So what?

EVE If everyone thought like that, the trains wouldn't make enough money to run.

LYDIA Uh, everyone does think like that.  I can guarantee that nobody else on that train will think twice about reusing their ticket.  And the trains do run.  Except when they break down.

EVE Then don't you think the train company needs all the money it can get?

LYDIA No.  I already pay an arm and a leg to ride their shitty trains.  The least they can do is not charge me when I get stuck on one that breaks down.

EVE That's not a fair way to think, and you know it.

LYDIA Jesus, Eve, are we seriously going to fight about this?

EVE We're not fighting.  We're just...

LYDIA Arguing?  Disagreeing?  Battling?

EVE I just think it's important to discuss.

LYDIA For fuck's sake, Eve.  If it's that important, I won't use the ticket.  I'm not going to fight with you on my first night back over a $50 ticket.  That's not what I wanted tonight to be.

EVE I -- me neither.

LYDIA I was just excited to be home and be with you.

EVE Me, too.

LYDIA Then how'd we end up here?

EVE I don't know.  I'm sorry.

LYDIA (pause) I'm sorry, too.

(They stand apart, not looking at each other.  Then EVE crosses and wraps her arms around LYDIA.  LYDIA relaxes against her, breathing in the smell of her hair.)

EVE Welcome home.

LYDIA Thanks.

(Blackout.)

[degreeinplaywriting]

If all these new followers are an attempt by the universe to pressure me into writing again, then let me just say it's definitely working I'm gonna write something right now please don't leave my place is usually a bit tidier than this.

[degreeinplaywriting]

July 16th

I wrote this!

ONE When I'm upset, I create worlds.

Sometimes, those worlds are bright.  They're colorful nebulae I put onto paper or onto a screen.  They merge together beautifully.  They calm me.  I pretend like maybe the colors symbolize the internal struggle inside me.

Sometimes, the worlds are vague.  I don't set parameters.  They're worlds of words where exchanges are staccato and the awkwardness is tangible.  They're blunt worlds, where I can just say say say and you have to hear and because I'm the creator and that's the kind of world I needed.

Sometimes, they're worlds of despair.  I create simulated families, towns, civilizations, and I destroy them, or let them be destroyed.  I allow suffering, and I allow myself to feel nothing.

Sometimes, they're worlds of perfection.  Where nothing bad happens and fantasy flourishes until I notice this one little detail that doesn't really make sense and sends the whole thing crashing down.

[degreeinplaywriting]

July 8th

CAN'T I can't do the dishes because I can't clean up after myself because I can't contemplate all the other things that are a mess because I can't come to terms with the fact that I'm a mess because I can't be an adult because I can't take care of myself because I can't do the dishes.

[degreeinplaywriting]

July 2nd

And now for something completely different!

I've been talking to some of my other friends who graduated with me in May 2013 about how talking about serious things in relationships is way harder to do when we're older and those things are all up-in-your-face, so I wrote this.

(Elementary school.)

ONE Let's get married!

TWO Yeah!  And we can live on a farm!

ONE With horses!

TWO And nobody can tell us what to do!

(Middle school.)

THREE We're going to be together forever.

FOUR No one else understands me like you do.

THREE I'm so glad you asked me out.

FOUR Me, too.

(High school.)

FIVE I can really see myself marrying you.

SIX I love you.

FIVE I love you, too.

SIX I don't care if nobody thinks we can make it.  I want to marry you one day.

(College.)

SEVEN If we're still together after graduation, we should take a trip.  Travel around Europe or something.

EIGHT Yeah.  That'd be nice.  But it's hard to plan that far away.

SEVEN Yeah.

(Post-college.)

NINE Nice weather.

TEN Mm.

[degreeinplaywriting]

July 1st

Take 4 for the Feminist Utopia Project.  A completely different type of play!

(A news report.)

REPORTER A group of parents in Voorhees, New Jersey is getting a lot of attention over their recent protests of their children's public school consent education.

(cut to PARENT 1 talking head.  Caption: "Louise Parker, Parent".)

PARENT 1 My daughter came home from school, and I asked her what she'd learned in consent ed that day, and she told me they'd just watched a video, and she hadn't really learned anything at all.

(PARENT 2 talking head.  Caption: "Clayton Evans, Parent".)

PARENT 2 My son is 14, and we talk about consent a lot in our house, of course.  But when I asked him about things like, how to react if you ask someone out on a date and they say "No," he hadn't really thought about it.  I feel like that's something that should be covered in consent ed by this age.

(REPORTER talks over footage of parents protesting outside the middle school.)

REPORTER This group of parents is protesting because they believe that the school is not adhering to the national guidelines for consent education, passed in 2015.

(Cut to talking head of EXPERT with text: "Penny Cartwright, Consent Education Researcher".)

EXPERT When these guidelines were put into place, we were very clear about what this education would look like.  We outlined what age-appropriate information should be covered in each school year, and we spent a lot of time looking at how the information should be covered.  Since we believe that everyone needs this kind of education, we wanted to make sure that the information would be presented in engaging ways.  Students need that in order to truly absorb this information.

(Cut to PARENT 3 talking head.  Caption: "Elise Norton, Parent".)

PARENT 3 I want my child to have the best possible education.  I don't want them to be behind the other kids when they get to high school and college.  I don't want them to be unable to make friends because they don't understand these social principles that every other student in the country is learning.

(REPORTER talks over footage of PRINCIPAL talking to parents.)

REPORTER The school administration insists that its consent education curriculum meets all national standards, but the concerned parents are talking about taking legal action.  For Nightly News, I'm Karen Eisenhower.

[degreeinplaywriting]

June 30th

Take 3 for the Feminist Utopia Project.  Starting to feel a bit more in the groove.

Edit: Content warning for non-graphic descriptions of rape below the cut.

(Two high schoolers, 2014 and 2024, talk to the audience about their education.)

2014 I go to a pretty liberal public school.  We've sex ed basically every year starting in, like, fifth grade.

2024 I didn't have sex ed until middle school, but we had consent ed starting in first grade.  Well, I guess it really started before that, but it wasn't an official class or anything until first grade.

2014 I mean, it's good.  I get why it's important.  It's definitely better than not getting any sex ed at all.  But it still just feels, y'know, a little uncomfortable.

2024 In first grade, it was really just stuff like, "Don't touch another kid's toys unless you've asked permission first," and "if you ask and someone says 'no,' respect that."

2014 We didn't really talk about rape much at all.  We watched a couple videos about people who'd been accused of rape, but it was always kind of a gray area.

2024 We didn't talk about consent in the context of rape and sex until high school, really.  We talked about dating and kissing and things like that in middle school, and the teachers would always mention that it applies to anything after kissing, too, but we didn't really go into it until high school.

2014 This year, they randomly gave us all this survey about rape.  It had questions on it like, "'No' means 'yes,' 'maybe,' or 'later'" that we had to agree or disagree with it.  It was pretty funny.  I mean, nobody's going to agree with that, y'know?

2024 I think we're all a little sick of consent ed at this point.  I mean, twelve years is a lot of time to have these same basic principles taught to you over and over.  We make fun of how obvious the information seems sometimes, or how cheesy the lessons are, but, at the same time, I've never been in a situation where I've felt like I can't tell someone "no."  Not just sex, but like, "No, I don't want to sit at this lunch table" or "No, I'm not comfortable with you copying my homework."  Little things like that.

2014

I know one girl who says she was raped.  She got drunk at a party and passed out, and I guess some guys took advantage of her and took pictures of the whole thing.  Which, don't get me wrong, is definitely gross and wrong, but that's not really what I think of when I think of "rape."

2024

I know one girl who was raped.  She had passed out, so she definitely did not consent.  The guy's friends found him in the act and stopped him, but obviously she still reported it, and he was expelled.

2014

Everyone was talking about it, but none of the teachers mentioned it with us at all.  I think the administration was telling them to keep it quiet.

2024

It was a big deal, of course, because it's terrible.  But the policies on sexual assault are outlined in the student handbook, so it wasn't a huge shock.  The principal made a brief comment about it, and reminded us who we could talk to if we had questions or concerns.

2014

I can't really blame them.  I don't know if it's really a public school's place to get involved with that.

2024

It wasn't a very controversial decision.  We all knew what to expect.

[degreeinplaywriting]

July 29th

I want to start by thanking recent followers who have never met me in real life!  That's always my favorite thing.  Feel free to shoot me an ask or a comment if you want to know anything about my writing or my personal life or feminism.   Those are the things I know about.

Take 2 for the Feminist Utopia Project.  This one reads more like a PSA or maybe a Lifetime Movie?  I'm hoping to write something closer to my usual style next time.

(SASHA and AARON 10th graders, at their lockers at the end of the day.)

AARON Have you started working on your project for Consent Ed yet?

SASHA Ugh, no.  It seems so pointless.

AARON Yeah?

SASHA I mean, we've had this stuff drilled into our heads again and again for years.  Do I really need to make a creative project to prove I understand it?

AARON It's better than taking a test on it.

SASHA I don't know.  At least a test only lasts one class period.  Instead of spending my free time writing a poem about what enthusiastic consent means to me or whatever.

AARON Well, at least having this stuff drilled into our head seems to have helped.

SASHA Mm, I'm not sure I believe all those stories about what things used to be like.  My mom always tells me this one story of her friend Ruth who got raped in college and nobody did anything about it, and I'm like, really?  College administrators were ignoring rape victims like, thirty years ago?  And nobody cared?

AARON Well, they did care, right?  That's how we got stuck with 12 years of Consent Ed.

SASHA But still.  I have a hard time believing it was that bad.

AARON I don't know.  Even if the stories are a bit far-fetched, the statistics back up that things used to be really bad.  And it's hard to know how bad, even, because a lot of sexual assault wasn't being reported.

SASHA Right.  I know all that.  I'd still just rather write some essay during the class period than have to make up some touchy-feely "creative" project for homework.

AARON Hey, some of us like touchy-feely creative projects!

(SASHA laughs as she closes her locker.)

SASHA Of course you do, Aaron.  You're a natural at that kind of stuff.  Let me guess -- you're already halfway done some abstract sculpture on enthusiastic consent made entirely out of recycled materials?

(AARON grins as he closes his own locker.)

AARON I'm preparing an interpretive dance, actually.

(They pick up their bags and walk offstage.)

SASHA Of course.  I should've guessed.

(Blackout.)

[degreeinplaywriting]

June 17th

I wrote this, and then had no internet in my apartment until today!  So that's exciting!

This is my first attempt for the Feminist Utopia project.  I want to focus on consent education as my utopia.  This first attempt is a very literal imagining.  I'll probably try some more character-based ideas before deciding on something.

(A kindergarten classroom.)

TEACHER So, in the story we just read, Billy knocked over Jane's blocks.  How did this make her feel?

ONE Sad!

TEACHER Why?

TWO Because she worked really hard on her tower!

TEACHER Right.  What should Billy have done before he knocked over her blocks?

THREE He should've asked her if it was okay if he knocked them over!

TEACHER Exactly, he should have asked first.  If she said no, she didn't want him to knock them over, should he have knocked them over?

CLASS No!

(A fourth grade classroom.)

TEACHER In the clip we just watched, why was Susan upset?

ONE Because Amy kept hugging her.

TEACHER Did Amy know that Susan was upset?

TWO No.

TEACHER What should Amy have done differently to avoid upsetting her friend?

THREE She should have asked if Susan wanted a hug!

(A seventh grade classroom.)

TEACHER In the chapter you all read for today, the main character is asked on a date by Andrew, and she says no.  How would you feel if you were rejected like this?

ONE Probably sad.  Embarrassed, maybe.

TEACHER Right.  A lot of people feel sad and embarrassed when they get rejected.  That's normal, and a totally okay way for people to feel.  How do you think Melissa felt about turning him down?

TWO Maybe a little guilty?

TEACHER I think that's probably true.  A lot of people feel guilty when they reject someone, even though they're under no obligation to say yes.  How did Andrew react?

THREE He got really angry and accused Melissa of leading him on.

TEACHER Why do you think he did this?

TWO I think it goes back to what we said earlier, about feeling embarrassed.  If you put yourself out there and get shot down, you want to blame someone else.

TEACHER I think that's a good point.  Anyone else have any ideas?

THREE He feels like she owes him something because he's been her friend.

TEACHER Does she owe him anything?

CLASS No!

TEACHER What could Andrew have done differently?

ONE After he got rejected, he could have said, "Okay, then I need some time to be alone" and went to deal with his feelings without having to be reminded of the rejection.

TWO He could have talked it out with a friend besides Melissa to sort out some of his anger in a less hurtful way.

THREE And he shouldn't have asked her out at all if he wasn't ready to take "no" as a possible answer.

(A tenth grade classroom.)

TEACHER In the first scene we saw, what does Luke do right?

ONE He asks Audrey if she wants to hook up.

TEACHER Right.  But what does he do wrong?

TWO He knows she's drunk, so even if he asks, she can't actually consent.

TEACHER Exactly.  In the second scene, what does Carmen do right?

THREE She tells Isabel exactly what she wants, instead of hinting around it.

TEACHER Right.  Isabel's not a mind reader, so it's important to have open communication.  What does Carmen do wrong?

TWO She pressures Isabel after Isabel says she's not sure.

TEACHER Exactly.  If you say "yes" to something under pressure or false pretenses, that's not consent.  In the last clip, what did Janet do right?

ONE She asks Steven about his boundaries before they do anything.

TEACHER Just like Carmen, Janet knows her partner isn't a mind-reader.  Where does Janet go wrong?

THREE She ignores signs from Steven, like when he shuts down and stops responding positively to her.

TEACHER Even though Janet had all the right conversations before they started, she stopped checking in with her partner.  Why is it important to check in and be conscious of your partner's mental state?

ONE Your partner might change their mind at any time.

TEACHER Right.  Why else?

TWO Something might have triggered your partner to shut down or freeze up, and you want to make sure you're not upsetting them.

TEACHER There are a lot of factors that might contribute to your partner changing how responsive they're being, and you want to make sure you know what's going on so you don't violate their consent.