You can call me Zer0

j-music critic & historian | personal variety blog | statistically either your age or your mom's age | bi, she/they/he

[deliriumzer0]

Y'all it has been a hot minute but I've been doing a lot of internal emotional work recently and this is one of those things I haven't seen ANYONE talk about or complain about or vent about ANYWHERE so y'all are getting it today!

So like... in the pop psych world they talk about shame-based emotions and alexithymia usually in regards to things like the patriarchy or autism or channeling your anger, right? But I think I've literally seen ONE person ever talk about a positive emotion becoming shame-bound.

WELL BITCHES LEMME TELL YOU SOMETHING. I thought perfectionism was making me indefinitely procrastinate everything, holding me back from creation. I thought it was anxiety or my ADHD causing executive dysfunction. In therapy I kept describing it as "fear" but honestly? I never actually felt the fear. It was more like there was just a permanent "off" switch on all of my dreams and ambitions and plans. It's been like that for years.

What I figured out is that for me, inspiration and eagerness are shame-bound emotions.

I RARELY feel inspiration to create or take action, and I RARELY feel eagerness for something exciting I plan to do in the future. And when I say rarely, I mean there's a gap of between three to ten years between instances of either of these.

I was so thoroughly shut down whenever I got an idea and was excited to pursue it as a child. There were always practical reasons not to, and there was never help offered to make anything happen. Then as an adult, the world - parents, professors, my kid's teachers, other moms, neighbors, bosses at work, coworkers, etc - all had expectations of me, and I didn't feel like I had any room for myself, so I self-sabotaged a lot whenever I wanted anything. My ADHD made it hard for me to finish any of my ambitious project ideas anyway, so the call was coming from inside the house too. Eventually I just.... stopped wanting anything for myself. It wasn't worth the heartbreak of nothing I wanted working out.

So now I can't write, I can't draw, I can't do design work like I used to unless someone else is telling me what to do. My husband plans all of our vacations, and I don't dare get excited about them until we're literally there.

Unfortunately, all of the work I've seen online regarding shame-bound emotions and unbinding emotions from shame focuses on things like anger or grief and stuff. How do I get back in touch with my inspiration & eagerness if it's so hard for me to start feeling them at all???

[tiredadventurer]

[ranboolivesaysstuff]

I have never connected with someone on a deeper level than that moment

[idratherberunning49-deactivated]

[tri-ingagain-deactivated2025032]

I really feel this.

[ababeinthewoods]

Or maybe...

[androdragynous]

"what's the worst thing you can do as an artist" is not "shade with black" or "not use references" or whatever the worst thing you can do as an artist is hate yourself. and that includes the person you used to be

[androdragynous]

"look at how bad my old art is" "this was so cringe" "it's embarrassing to look at this" what are you gaining here? belatedly being your own bully? is it more acceptable to hate a kid if it's the kid you used to be? shut the fuck up. be kind to yourself or don't say anything at all. people are really not laughing with you when you mock yourself and if they are maybe consider hanging out with nicer people. imo.

[androdragynous]

this also goes for having your personal blog tags be like "nobody cares (name)" or "shut up (name)" or whatever. why are you being mean to yourself. its not preventing other people from being mean to you just because you get the first shot in it just means you get shot twice. how is that better. how is any of that better

[yeehawpim]

I can be shaped by more than the things that hurt me

[sing-and-play]

when your friend doesn’t laugh at your joke but you think it’s funny as hell 😆

[deliriumzer0]

The thing I love about this video is that you can see on Faye's face the exact moment she thought of the joke she wanted to make but had to wait, lol. Relatable af imo

[kosmogrl]

[mckitterick]

[ ID: Things are meant to be used. Paint is meant to stain. Perfumes are meant to be sprayed. Candles are meant to be burned. Clothes are meant to be worn. Stop waiting for a good day to use things; use things to have good days. /ID ]

[mortalityplays]

hi, a lot of you need a perspective reset

the average human lifespan globally is 70+ years

taking the threshold of adulthood as 18, you are likely to spend at least 52 years as a fully grown adult

at the age of 30 you have lived less than one quarter of your adult life (12/52 years)

'middle age' is typically considered to be between 45-65

it is extremely common to switch careers, start new relationships, emigrate, go to college for the first or second time, or make other life-changing decisions in middle age

it's wild that I even have to spell it out, but older adults (60+) still have social lives and hobbies and interests.

you can still date when you get old. you can still fuck. you can still learn new skills, be fashionable, be competitive. you can still gossip, you can still travel, you can still read. you can still transition. you can still come out.

young doesn't mean peaked. you're inexperienced in your 20s! you're still learning and practicing! you're developing social skills and muscle memory that will last decades!

there are a million things to do in the world, and they don't vanish overnight because an imaginary number gets too big

[deliriumzer0]

I finally have a working vcr lol

[sing-and-play]

[TRANSLATION] Thank you for hating me

-excerpt-

What is the courage to be unafraid of being hated?

I think Faye Wong is the best example.

When reporters and hosts ask her questions, her most common answers are:

"I don't know."

"I don't recognize."

"I don't want to."

"I have nothing to say."

"What does it have to do with you?"

As long as Faye Wong thinks the question is rude, she will answer like this. She is never afraid of offending people.

For example, when Faye Wong and Nicholas Tse were kissing at home, they were photographed secretly by the paparazzi when they forgot to close the curtains.

When the media interviewed Faye Wong, they asked her:

"Shouldn't you be more careful in the future?"

Faye Wong responded straight-forwardly:

"My window faces a mountain, so I don't think I've done anything wrong. It's them [the paparazzi] who should be criticized. I don't feel the need to take precautions or anything. I'm kissing at home. It's none of their business."

At a press conference, a reporter suddenly asked her:

"Has your divorce been finalized?"

Faye Wong immediately got upset:

"What does it have to do with you?"

Reporter: "Our readers want to know."

Faye Wong rolled her eyes:

"I'm a public figure, but do I have to tell you all of my business? I still say that it has nothing to do with you and it has nothing to do with your readers."

After Faye Wong and Dou Wei divorced, a host asked her:

"Have you considered finding the ideal father for your daughter?"

After hearing this, Faye Wong looked unhappy:

"I never thought about finding an ideal father for her. My daughter already has a father. What I am looking for is my own partner."

I don't know if Faye Wong has ever read Alfred Adler, but she is really a person who uses the "courage to be hated" philosophy super well.

She never sacrificed herself to cater to other people's likes, never forced herself to meet other people's expectations, and never felt wrong about not being responsible for the emotions of others.

She made herself "immortal".

At a celebrity party once, an interviewer asked the stars:

"Who do you envy the most?"

Sammi Cheng was the first to answer:

"If we talk about envy, there is only Faye Wong."

The reporter asked: "Why?"

Sammi Cheng exclaimed:

"We are just entertainers. Faye Wong is an artist. She loves herself deeply and lives the way we long to but can hardly achieve."

How can I have the courage of Faye Wong who is unafraid of being hated?

(SOURCE)

[dmonet-macitan]

learned how to use blenders film making tools

[ginniewheezie]

Important

[squishysquishin]

Adding this because they’re safe for dogs too

[simon-newman]

How are turkey skin and bones not safe? Please elaborate.

[thumbbro]

Dunno about skin, but Turkey bones, and avian bones in general, are really easy to shatter. If a dog eats said shards, it could tear up their insides.

[edwinflores428]

Important for all pet users!!

[gallifrey-knits-no-more]

The skin is very fatty and can lead to diarrhea, vomiting, and/or pancreatitis. Pancreatitis can lead to a very expensive hospital stay, and is quite painful. When in doubt, best not to feed human food.

[thebookbakery]

Important PSA for this (and every) holiday season! As someone with dogs and cats in her life, both of these are nice to have on hand!

[nat-20s]

Ending is sad: ouch

Ending is happy: nice

Ending is bittersweet: I'm going to think about this every day for the rest of my life

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Today I learned that wordpress has introduced an AI "assistant" to help people write and I learned this by having the thing king hit me out of nowhere by warning me that "immediately" is a "complex word" and I know it's just a stupid robot with no context but this thing warning me, a writer, that the science fiction story I'm writing has a "complex word" (so watch out!) and that word is the dirt basic word "immediately" filled me with a moment of incandescent rage the likes of which I've never felt before and I'm awake now.

Anyway it's easy to turn the robot off but this reminds me of the time I got grounded for using the word "transportation" as a teenager and this time there's not even a person doing it.

[posthumanwanderings]

[enki2]

[deadeyesopened]

[psychoetheric]

god this kid rules