macklin celebrini has autism
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Claire Keane
Today's Document
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icyghini twinkie
I'd rather be in outer space ๐ธ
The Stonewall Inn

oozey mess
Fai_Ryy

shark vs the universe
Aqua Utopia๏ฝๆตทใฎๅบใง่จๆถใ็ดกใ
cherry valley forever
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romaโ

Andulka

ellievsbear
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

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@demure-squid
"going out to get milk" is a common turn of phrase used to describe a man abandoning his family.
the "milkman" is a common figure in stories depicting a woman's infidelity and adulterous affair.
this implies that the ability to provide milk would both decrease the likelihood of a man abandoning his wife and children, as it would eliminate the need for leaving to get milk AND would secure that man's marriage, as his wife would have no need to seek milk from an extraneous source.
therefore, all men should produce milk, through various means such as:
- being a cow
- being an almond
- being a woman
- being a coconut
- being in the omegaverse
- being an oat
(list is exemplary and not finite)
in this essay, i will redefine the nuclear family and explain the seductive and inflammatory nature of the 1993 "Got Milk?" commercials.
you shut your mouth.
Ebroiderers are to be feared, for their precision, dedication, and patience to stab something many MANY times.
Jinkies
Jeepers!
Zoinks!
Ruh roh!
My favorite part of this post is that it implies Fred is the one saying โFUCKโ because we know who typically says the other 4 things
"Why do you need age verification on a site where everyone is 38?"
idk who on earth could possibly need to hear this, but do NOT, under ANY circumstances, give out your SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER to ANY SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORMS
โ๏ธโ๏ธโ๏ธ
favorite bits of the cast interviews in the LOTR special features:
Dominic Monaghan, Billy Boyd, Elijah Wood and Viggo Mortensen all taking the piss out of Orlando Bloom for going on about a cracked rib too much, while Orlando Bloom desperately tries to wriggle out of talking about it (special mention to Elijah Woodโsย โoh it hurts, babes, and I canโt ride the horse, babesโ and Viggo Mortensenโsย โthey can be very fragile, elves, especially theโฆMirkwood strainโฆโ)
Ian McKellen commenting thatย โthey never did find any suitable underwear for Gandalfโฆโ
Dominic Monaghan going on and on about how Viggo Mortensen apparently had a crush on one of the Rohirrim extras (who like a lot of the Rohirrim extras was a woman in a fake beard) while Vigoo Mortensen just muttersย โone could perhaps say something about Mr. Monaghanโsโฆproclivitiesโฆโ
Dominic Monaghanโs imitation of John Rhys-Davies ordering food at a restaurant for the whole cast.ย โYou have partridge? BRING THE PARTRIDGE!โ
John Rhys-Davies talking about an incident with the Lothlorian boats and sayingย โif an elf and a dwarf are in a boatโฆandโฆthe boat goes underโฆlet us say that the blame was not placed on the elfโ while Orlando Bloom spluttersย โheโs a big guy, man!โย
Elijah Wood talking about how the hobbit actors shared a trailer with Ian McKellen and sometimes they would hear inarticulate bellows of protest from his side when they played loud music in the mornings
Viggo Mortensen talking about how, while filming with those same boats, Kirin Shaw (Elijah Woodโs scale double) started telling himย โif the boat tips overโฆsave yourselfโฆI canโt swim.โย
Elijah Wood describing how Sean Astin would try to direct the helicopters to land while they were on location, while the other three hobbits were screwing around and throwing pinecones at each other
Christopher Lee recounting how he had so much trouble going up some steps in Orthanc with his long robe that he stopped in the middle of the scene and said,ย โI cannot get up these goddamn steps, Peter.โย
Viggo Mortensen mentioning that he left a weekend rehearsal and went walking down the street still swinging his sword around, and promptly got the cops called on him
I swear Iโm laughing so hard I canโt breathe
My fav LotR extra is Peter Jackson and Christopher Lee talking about how Peter was trying to coach Lee to be more vocal during his death scene, and Lee straight up was like, โThatโs not the noise people make when they die to a knife in the chest. Itโs *this* noise,โ and while heโs demonstrating, Peter remembers that Lee was a special forces guy in WWII and back away slowly and lets him do this thing.
ice water is awesome because you get more water in your water
you think youre out of water but then you check back in five minutes and woah! theres more water! the world is so beautiful
people born in 2000 should be like 12-14 now. but theyโre not. thatโs how fucked up our world is now
The older this post gets the funnier it becomes
My cousin born in 2000 is a licensed psychologist.
thatโs how fucked up our world is now
Hero of Time
"Kill them with kindness" Nah, fuck that, CRICKET BAT ๐ ๐๐๐*SMACK* ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐*SMACK*๐๐๐๐๐*SMACK*๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐*SMACK*๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐*SMACK*๐๐๐๐๐*SMACK*๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
โKill them with kindnessโ
Nah, fuck that, CRICKET BAT ๐ ๐๐๐*SMACK*
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐*SMACK*๐๐๐๐๐*SMACK*๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐*SMACK*๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐*SMACK*๐๐๐๐๐*SMACK*๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
This opens up a lot of possibilities for what a haiku can be
I have done some weird trickshots, and some difficult trickshots, but that last one is the most of both Iโve ever put together!
source
it fucken WIMDY
girk at my work discovered my terrible secret
โgirk at my workโ
โgirk at my workโ
At work, straight up girking it. #mywork #girkoncompanytime
Reminder to all nonbinary people: You can summon SUE the T. rex for aid
Today I learned that cuttlefish experience REM sleep, and that it makes their skin flash random colors. This is the cutest thing ever.
The electric eel at my aquarium has a voltmeter attached to his tank, and whenever he pumps out a burst of electricityโeither when heโs navigating his tank or getting fedโthe meter lights up and makes noise. Sometimes, Iโll walk past him when heโs snuggled up and totally motionless on his log, and see the voltmeter going crazy.
I am left to assume that he is dreaming, and is sleep-zapping at the things in his dreams.
I am absolutely delighted to learn that electric eels dream of kicking ass.