denim and dorky hats

Functional disaster 24/7

[kibumkim]

[natalieironside]

My scrupulocity about the treatment of books is NOT commodity fetishism. It is because I am a cheapskate. This is an important distinction.

No, books are not alive and cannot feel pain, but I own tape and glue and I fucking hate spending money. Why throw it out when I could bring it back wrong?

[natalieironside]

Maybe the cover is abt 90% duct tape at this point and I had to write the title on the spine with a sharpie so I don't forget which book it is but there's nothing wrong with the words inside. The words inside are perfectly alright.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

I love it when video essayists want to make a video about a conspiracy or something, and obviously the most engaging title is to ask the central question of the conspiracy, but they're clearly worried that people glancing at titles and not watching the videos will take the question title as support for the conspiracy and possibly introduce new people to it who will take it as fact (since a video essayist they trust told them), so they put the answer right there on the thumbnail like

[pyrogina]

im fuckin crine he DID IT!!!! 😭

[disgustinggf]

[aevios]

Having ADHD is so fun because sometimes youre looking for something that you use regularly and definitely put away in a smart and reasonable place and you have absolutely 0 hope of remembering where and finding it. And then other times ur like "hmm I need a some kind of small pointed object. I feel like i remember seeing a paperclip under the left couch cushion a month ago, i wonder if its still there" and it is

[aevios]

"wait but if u saw the paperclip why would u just leave it there?" its the adhd. Also if i had put it away then i wouldnt have been able to find it a month later when i needed it. So. Checkmate neurotypicals.

[oakenroots]

Problem is when the ADHD catalogue is out of date, when you go to check under the couch cushion for that paperclip and it ISNT there, sometimes your brain will just give you a montage of false memories of everywhere you've ever seen a paper clip, like this

[aniseandspearmint]

yeah yeah the paperclip montage, we've all seen it

[smileytiger28]

[ID: a montage of a paper clip in a bunch of different locations around a house. end ID]

[sporeblossom]

“the millenium falcon would wipe out the enterprise in seconds” lmao the enterprise is just an innocent science class floating thru space…. all they wanna do is look at some rocks… kiss an alien…. find some space plants….. why would you fight that its not a battleship theyre just nerds…… leave them olone 

[berniesanderssaggyleftnut-deact]

[lystheni]

A friend of mine saw this and brought up some interesting arguments

so, in other words,

[professor-maple-mod]

Pretty much.

[jaegerdelta]

here have some size comparison

[two-punch-man]

Who wins in a fight, a fully staffed Navy research vessel or your local weed man and his best friend in their souped up VW Bus?

[regionalpancake]

tags via @procrastinatorproject

So while it’s true that the Enterprise is not as big as people think, that goes double for the Falcon!

A good way of thinking about the relative size is by using a bridge comparison:

The Enterprise bridge has space for 11 people to work, as well as a significant amount of space between stations to move around comfortably:

[Bridge illustration by Tobias Weinmann via here]

And the whole thing fits in the nipple thing up on top of the saucer:

Meanwhile the Falcon (beloved weed bus) has a cockpit that seats 4, with only 2 main operational stations, and zero floor space:

And since Serenity was mentioned too…

Serenity has a bridge more comparable to La Sirena - with 2 stations at the front and quite a bit of floor space.

And for those interested in a visual comparison:

(Boeing 747 for scale as well as the Delta Flyer because Why Not)

TLDR: The Millennium Falcon is pretty dinky, so I propose *true weed bus status* goes to the excellent smuggling ships of Serenity and La Sirena. The Falcon is herby demoted to man on his weed bicycle with his pet monkey and a gun (to be clear the monkey is Solo)

[enigma-the-mysterious]

This is the analysis I am here for

[disease-danger-darkness-silence]

I was gonna say it’s more like a weed guy and his 1986 Honda Civic hatchback.

[foone]

the upside of ADHD is that it makes you a fucking genius

the downside is that you don't get to decide when and for how long you're a genius.

[foone]

Or what you are going to be a genius about.

You have a big work project?

Nah. You're now a genius at making boardgames. For 7 hours.

[unrivalling]

[evergreen-femme]

had to share this

[wizardshark]

In every way this is set up to be a joke like any other short video, it even uses the trope of main character in a wig to represent their mom, but it isn't funny at all. It's just sweet and nice

[kineticpenguin]

Someone about to say the dumbest shit you've ever heard in your life:

[kineticpenguin]

congratulations your "obviously correct nuclear take" is the cybersecurity equivalent of being a fucking anti-vaxxer

[lamine-19]

“are you okay?” oh my god no but for the purposes of this conversation yes i’m fine

[deepetch]

This is awesome on so many levels.

Ladies and Gentlemen i present to you John Carpenter’s The Thing, as performed by the claymated, Antarctic cast of the hit children’s animation Pingu. Directed by Lee Hardcastle, in under 3 minutes. Noot, Noot.

[junkyardddog]

Oh my fucking god.

[queerkreep-deactivated20161009]

JESUS CHRIST

[sixthrock]

I’m still amazed at how they got a “noot noot” to sound so much like a “fuck you”

[balletism]

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

Things that ARE covered by your Wizard Insurance:

Top Surgery

Bottom Surgery

Witch Encounters (one per century)

Killed By Greg

Middle Surgery (✨ New! ✨)

[random-meme-bot]

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

Oh for Gandalf's Big Naturals- Fine! 😡

Dental (✨ New! ✨) (first 1,000 teeth ONLY)

[fallenangelvictorious]

Obsessed with these tags, you are so right bestie

[bnha-smashcomics-deactivated202]

Just found out Brahmas chickens exist. Seeing those dudes really reminds me that they’re related to the t-rex. Look at this dude:

You must be saying, but that is just a regular rooster.

WRONG

At this point you’re probably sweating, maybe shaking and crying saying, surely that child is just short, but again you’d be

WRONG

They are big.

[gallusrostromegalus]

I got tagged in this and I should note: Of all the chicken breeds I've met, these are the gentlest and friendliest. Also very somft. All three I've gotten to handle have wanted to cuddle, and they're very warm, like cats.

[oncillaphoenix]

I love how at first it looks like a normal chicken coming out of the house:

but then it keeps coming

[bruzum]

[wenlokholmes]

sorry, prev, your tags are too true to be silenced

[theraptorcage]

Australian Raven (aka Little Raven) being harassed by a Willie Wagtail

[autorotation]

I had to draw them

[theraptorcage]

Holy fuck

[grimpleasantry]

Watching the wagtails harass much larger animals is one of my favourite things. They are tiny bastards and I love them.

[hollowedskin]

Willy wagtails are down to fight absolutely every single thing they have ever met. World’s most aggressive bird, mighty warrior who dreams of nothing but slaughter, that’s only the size of a mouse if it was a big mouse.

[artphobos]

….this bird seems to be the epitome of ‘I’ll kick your ass! I’ll kick her ass, I’ll kick all their asses … I’ll even kick my own ass!’

[queen-mihai]

The Raven just seems so done with Willie’s shit

“No Willie, ‘e wasn’t lookin’ at you. Yes I get it, you’re big and tough. Now can you please shut it, Willie? We’re on watch duty or have you forgotten?”