An Outlet For Personal Emotions

Imma rant here, virtually scream here, write some thing about my insecurities and where it started.

[depressedpsychopath]

Hello guys, this is @adrestar but in a different account. I'm gonna use this account as an outlet for my insecurities, frustrations, and any other emotions. Someone told me to do this when I confided them about my insecurities. So basically, this would be likea personal diary but online. You are free to read or skip my posts here. You can also tell me your insecurities if you want.

(Though, I really would prefer to minimise the hate, or no hate at all, in this account. I have enough of those in real life.)

[sighinastorm]

Spaghetti is the opposite of spinach.

Yes, I will be taking questions.

[badabingbadabong-deactivated202]

Explain

[sighinastorm]

[duran-duran-less-official]

OH I GET IT NOW.

Yes this is valid.

[adhoption]

now calling people ‘spaghetti’ or ‘spinach’ depending on how well they do under pressure

[alitheakorogane]

Karasuma: We're both adults. We can still get together without it meaning anything.

Irina: Not me. Ever since you admitted we had a vibe, I've been planning our wedding.

[miraculous-talks]

Blackfire and Starfire vs. Lila and Marinette

I’m rewatching teen titans (the og) and while watching the episode “Sisters,” I noticed that something about blackfire really bothered me. She reminded me of someone. She reminded me of Lila Rossi from Miraculous Ladybug. Blackfire showed up at the tower, and started telling lies about the stuff she’s done. While she had been to the Sentari Empire, she was a thief and a fugitive. She lied, trying to take Starfires place on the team, and that directly reminded me of Lila. Lila, I feel like, is trying to out-shine Marinette. Take Marinettes feats and accomplishments and make them her own, and then adding stuff to make her seem better than Marinette. Lila is trying to take Marinettes place in the class, just like blackfire was trying to take starfires place at the tower. And then bf swears her revenge on sf, just like Lila did when Marinette chose not to side with her.

I might be completely off, but I see parallels, and I don’t like them feel free to agree or disagree. Leave a comment. I want to see what people think

[toastbutteregg]

[depressedpsychopath]

"Calm down self, it's the queen. It's the freaking queen with magical ice powers."

[depressedpsychopath]

My parents just told me that my anxiety is not real and that "it's just all in your mind". They also told me that I'm just overreacting.

[19thcenturyfuck]

not to post even more Villains Discourse on main but it really bugs me how people read giving villains tragic backstories as inherently excusing their actions and/or demonizing trauma survivors.

the actual message of Tragic Villains is (almost) always “people who are never taught or given any healthy, constructive outlets for their emotions will often find unhealthy, destructive outlets.” it’s that people who are traumatized and never learn how to cope with that trauma can become a danger to themselves and others. the message isn’t “trauma makes you evil!!!!” or “genocide is okay if you’ve been sad before!!!!” it’s “people need compassion and help to recover from trauma instead of becoming increasingly angry and harming themselves and others in the process.”

this site takes an alarmingly behaviorist and punitive approach to everything and it’s literally the most annoying thing. y’all have this concept that “if we just punish people hard enough, if we just scare them enough, if we just make them feel guilty enough.” that people just Do Bad Things Because They Do Bad Things, I Guess, and Because We Didn’t Threaten Them And Shame Them Enough. but humans are an innately social species. at our very core, we need compassion and kindness. we need healthy relationships with other humans.

you can keep looking at traumatized villains and being like “haha this dumb pathetic sadboi thinks murder is okay because his parents died” but as a survivor myself, unaddressed/untreated trauma absolutely can make you ragey and destructive. i was lucky enough to have support and eventually get the treatment i needed. but it’s not hard at all for me to imagine how, if that hadn’t been the case, that could’ve been me. obviously not on a movie-villain scale like murder or war crimes, but it’s so irritating as someone whose trauma has always manifested as anger to watch people on this site be like “this is just bad writing!!! real survivors/good survivors don’t end up like that the writers just hate survivors and want the audience to condone murder!”

[misterrockett]

This is, btw, also why heroes have tragic backstories as a juxtaposition.

Not to show that they’re BETTER than a villain because they process their trauma “correctly” but because typically they’re LUCKY enough to have outside help in processing their trauma in a healthy way. Bruce Wayne still had Alfred. Peter Parker has Aunt May. A reflection of what the heroes become is typically seen in not just the tragedy they went through but the people they still had in their lives to help them through it. Villains typically don’t get that.

[depressedpsychopath]

LOUDER!!!

[19thcenturyfuck]

not to post even more Villains Discourse on main but it really bugs me how people read giving villains tragic backstories as inherently excusing their actions and/or demonizing trauma survivors.

the actual message of Tragic Villains is (almost) always “people who are never taught or given any healthy, constructive outlets for their emotions will often find unhealthy, destructive outlets.” it’s that people who are traumatized and never learn how to cope with that trauma can become a danger to themselves and others. the message isn’t “trauma makes you evil!!!!” or “genocide is okay if you’ve been sad before!!!!” it’s “people need compassion and help to recover from trauma instead of becoming increasingly angry and harming themselves and others in the process.”

this site takes an alarmingly behaviorist and punitive approach to everything and it’s literally the most annoying thing. y’all have this concept that “if we just punish people hard enough, if we just scare them enough, if we just make them feel guilty enough.” that people just Do Bad Things Because They Do Bad Things, I Guess, and Because We Didn’t Threaten Them And Shame Them Enough. but humans are an innately social species. at our very core, we need compassion and kindness. we need healthy relationships with other humans.

you can keep looking at traumatized villains and being like “haha this dumb pathetic sadboi thinks murder is okay because his parents died” but as a survivor myself, unaddressed/untreated trauma absolutely can make you ragey and destructive. i was lucky enough to have support and eventually get the treatment i needed. but it’s not hard at all for me to imagine how, if that hadn’t been the case, that could’ve been me. obviously not on a movie-villain scale like murder or war crimes, but it’s so irritating as someone whose trauma has always manifested as anger to watch people on this site be like “this is just bad writing!!! real survivors/good survivors don’t end up like that the writers just hate survivors and want the audience to condone murder!”

[misterrockett]

This is, btw, also why heroes have tragic backstories as a juxtaposition.

Not to show that they’re BETTER than a villain because they process their trauma “correctly” but because typically they’re LUCKY enough to have outside help in processing their trauma in a healthy way. Bruce Wayne still had Alfred. Peter Parker has Aunt May. A reflection of what the heroes become is typically seen in not just the tragedy they went through but the people they still had in their lives to help them through it. Villains typically don’t get that.

[depressedpsychopath]

LOUDER!!!

[meantfortheshore]

[moremetalthanyourmom]

Okay but after seeing this I started doing it too and it’s amazing how many men I’ve run into bc they expected me to move

[youcangofindatree-deactivated20]

Gotta try it

[clevermanka]

I work (and walk) on a college campus. I’ve lost count of how many men I’ve smacked shoulders with.

[emmagrant01]

Recently, I was standing outside my son’s classroom waiting to talk to his teacher. I stood on one side of the hallway, not even close to the center. At some point, a man came walking along. I was standing right in his path, but the hallway was empty, so I logically expected him to swerve around me. Instead he kept walking right toward me, got to me, and stopped, as if waiting for me to get out of his way. I didn’t; I just smiled politely at him. He finally walked around me, clearly annoyed that I hadn’t leapt out of his manly path.

Now I’m wishing I’d leapt aside, taken off my jacket and laid it on the floor before him, then bowed deeply and said, “My Liege!”

[mercurialkitty]

I also work at a college campus. I smack shoulders sometimes, but I find that if I stare straight ahead and follow the advice below, people get the heck out of the way.

[songbirde108]

Honestly this post changed how I carry myself when walking alone in public, or in a situation where I’m the one leading. People definitely move for the murder gaze.

[onethingconstant]

Confirmed. I once had to rush back inside a convention hall as the con was closing in order to a retrieve a sick friend’s medication, and I didn’t understand why people in the crowd were jumping out of my way (literally—one guy vaulted a table) until I realized I was dressed as the Winter Soldier and doing the Murder Walk because that’s just how I walk in those boots. I got the meds, got out, and made a mental note.

I repeated the experiment later, wearing the boots but otherwise my usual clothing and mimicking the expression I thought I’d had at that moment. People parted like I was Charlton Heston.

I now wear that style of boots whenever possible. I recently had a man do a double-take as I walked by and ask me, politely, where I had served because I “looked like a soldier.” I’m not current or former military. I was wearing a flowy purple peasant top and looked as un-soldierlike as possible.

Moral of the story: wear comfortable shoes, square your shoulders, and walk like you’ve been sent to murder Captain America.

[naeonnoir]

WALK LIKE YOU’VE BEEN SENT TO MURDER CAPTAIN AMERICA

[retroasgardian-deactivated20180]

[spiduhgirl]

It’s called the Murder Strut.

[elegantmess100]

IT’S BACK!!!!!! I was searching for this to show my daughter the other day and couldn’t find it. I’m so glad IT’S BACK!! I will always reblog the Murder Strut!!

[b3gayd0crim3]

A guy on a bike went around me because he could tell I had no intention of moving. Thanks to this post.

[linkedsoul]

One day and I bumped into a guy while doing the Murder Strut and he apologized to me even though I was the one who had bumped into him.

It works wonders.

[noping-out-deactivated20241117]

In case you were wondering, yes you can do this in a wheelchair. Same look in your eyes and let ‘em know you will run them down. Just picture yourself in a sports car accelerating towards someone with the intention of flattening them.

If there’s anything more satisfying than watching Abled men leap out of my way when they realize I’m not moving for them, I can’t think of it atm.

[chasing-asterion]

[seperis]

Walk like you’ve been sent to murder Captain America.

Wheel like you’re gonna win the Indy 500 and don’t care how.

Your crutches are short swords; walk like you can see them buried in the bodies of anyone who crosses (in front of) you.

Tumblr: teaching women how to be Moses and part the fucking Red Sea with the power of their minds.

[taraljc]

I had never seen these updates to the Patriarchy Chicken Game before and they are all a goddam DELIGHT

[marithlizard]

Patriarchy Chicken and The Murder Strut, dance names for the new millenium. 

[gossip-girl-of-middleearth]

OH MY GOD I HAD BARELY SCROLLED DOWN THIS POST AND WAS GONNA SAY “JUST TAKE SOME ADVICE FROM ME THAT I LEARNT FROM AN OLD TUMBLR POST ABOUT WALKING LIKE THE WINTER SOLDIER FROM YEARS AGO” BUT THEN IT TURNED OUT TO BE THIS POST

I first discovered this a few years ago when I was an insecure 14-year-old, and since then I indeed do the “murder strut” and staunch everywhere I go, literally works wonders

[cade-the-god]

murder strut works wonders in the airport and school.

[fullyfunctionalminiaturebeehive]

Back in HS, other kids would kinda stream behind me like the tail of a comet because I was several inches taller than most of the student population and the Murder Strut was just…how I walked. Amazingly effective.

[mathcat345]

In case you have forgotten. The Murder Strut works!

[antique-scarecrow]

Patriarchy Chicken Game

[depressedpsychopath]

I tried this and it was almost perfect. ALMOST. Mom blocked my way because she wasn't afraid of me (she is terrifying) and asked why do I look like I was about to commit mass murder. My resting bitch face didn't help.

[depressedpsychopath]

I gotta tell you something...

I'm not proud of younger me. Younger me was homophobic. Funny because I'm bisexual. I don't know if it was because of my parents or the lack of knowledge or both. I just... They think that being gay or something is wrong and they told me when I was younger not to be like "those people". That's why I always ignored feelings for people of the same gender as me. Here in Asia (not all of Asia) it is seen as a disgrace and dishonour. I kinda bullied someone just because they are not straight. I thought I was doing the right thing. I didn't know it was wrong. I was horrible. I regret it. I wish I knew.

I know it's not really my parent's fault. They were just raised believing that. I'm just glad to see the truth.

[depressedpsychopath]

I finally got the vacation that I really needed. I feel better and happy right now.

But this sunburn sucks.

[depressedpsychopath]

But hey, you know you had a good time if you got sunburned.

Still sucks tho

[depressedpsychopath]

I finally got the vacation that I really needed. I feel better and happy right now.

But this sunburn sucks.

[depressedpsychopath]

Dang it my first heartbreak. This actually hurt more than I expected.

Why would someone choose to cheat if they aren't happy in their relationship anymore? Why can't they just tell their partner about it? That way, it will hurt less.

[mysharona1987]

[dysfucktional-queer]

Also even like. Economically. It’s better to give money to poor people. That’s basic Keynesian economics.

Give $600 to someone with no money and they will put it back into the economy, buying groceries, clothes, accommodations, maybe some small luxuries. Give $600 to a rich person and it goes into their bank accounts and just stays there being useless.

[beaniebaneenie]

If you give a poor person $20, that same $20 will be spent easily 10x over, by 10 different people, in 10 different businesses- within a week.

1- poor guy buys groceries at a local bodega.

2- the bodega owner pays his employees from the cash in the register.

3- bodega employee goes to Starbucks and tips the barista in cash.

4- the barista owes their roommate from lunch last week and pays them back

5- roommate buys something from an indie creator on Etsy

6- Etsy creator splurges on takeout & tips in cash

7- the takeout delivery driver fills up on gas

8- gas station manager (who got paid from the register) takes their kid to the ice cream truck

9- Ice cream truck driver buys a new tire and gets an oil change

10- mechanic gets lunch on a shift

....and so on.

Giving money to poor people is the single best way to stimulate and energize the economy... because poor people do something with money that rich people don’t- THEY FUCKING SPEND IT.

[waltgifs]

I love you most.

[madametremaine]

She kisses her hair instead of her forehead.

[anniephantom]

oh my god that’s

that’s just

so subtly terrifying 

[modestlyhomo-blog]

THAT JUST BLEW MY MIND SO HARD 

[buzzinglikethebusybee]

WHOAAAAAAA

[thebossbaby-official]

This is actually a recurring theme throughout the entirety of Tangled - whenever Gothel is being affectionate to Rapunzel she’s directly focusing her affection to Rapunzel’s power - whether it be singing to the hair, kissing the hair or Gothel’s pet name for Rapunzel literally being “my flower”.

It’s one of those subtle things that once you notice becomes glaringly obvious and it’s why it’s difficult to take the “Gothel really loved Rapunzel!” apologists seriously.

[guardianbastard]

And whenever Eugene is being more affectionate towards Rapunzel, he tends to to push her hair away from her face so as to see her face better.

[hiccstrid]

i love this movieeee

[depressedpsychopath]

The sunset as viewed from my window.

[depressedpsychopath]

I was trying to sleep but my annoying neighbors are being noisy, again. I put away my phone because I badly wanted to sleep. I laid on my bed and tried my best to tune out the noise from my neighbor. I thought about random things and then my mind just suddenly thought about negative thoughts. At a young age, I was sexually harassed. They say that innocence is a bliss, but it's not. Innocence is stupid. Innocence is what got that person to take advantage of me. I was young and naive. I believed everything he said. I thought we were just playing. Sometimes, the thing just hurts. But stupid me believed that it was just part of the game. I mean, children sometimes get hurt while playing right? I never told my parents. Why would I? The guy literally asked me not to and I was also afraid that they will scold me if they found out that I got hurt while playing. I sometimes blame my parents. Why was I too naive and sheltered? This wouldn't have happened alright? And then I finally knew how dirty that was. I broke free of that sexual immorality but I almost lost my sanity. Though in the midst of every break down I had, never did once my parents notice it. Probably because I'm too good at hiding it. My mental health was unstable. I got too paranoid. Yes, I was still functioning properly, but then when I'm alone, dark thoughts evade my mind. I thought about murder. I already killed a lot of people inside my mind. I always bring sharp objects with me. I still remember myself bringing this extremely rusty cutter everywhere I go. My mindset was always like: "If anybody ever tries to grab me, I will stab them everywhere. I think stabbing them in the eyeball would be very much appealing though. And if ever they don't die because of the stab wounds, they would die because of tetanus or infection or both." I always thought about parasuicide. (parasuicide is lile committing suicide but not wanting to die) I wanted my parents to notice how I am slowly losing my sh!t. I never did that though.

After that, my mind was completely evaded with dark thoughts. Deep darkness that I thought I already escaped. It felt like there was a devil whispering on my ear. Taunting me. Teasing me. Telling me how dirty I am. It was scary. And then I just shook my head and thought about how better my life is right now that I got away from all that darkness. I took deep breaths and listened to the noise in the background. I have never been thankful to have such a noisy neighbor. (Yah know, I realized that a menace can also be a blessing)