"The equation of maleness with bigness persists as a dearly loved
concept. I’ve heard “Look at the big males” while viewing an elephant matriarch and her offspring in Kenya, and “Look at the big
male” while sighting a female musk ox and her young in Alaska, and
I’ve gnashed my teeth on both occasions. Authoritative women who
correct false impressions are unfeminine and bossy but it is equally
true that amateur observers of wildlife tend to assume that the
largest animal in any grouping must be a male, and furthermore, that
he must be in charge.
Contemplation of a big female mating with a smaller male is so at
odds with our human perspective and the sort of anthropomorphizing
that is found in books for children that many intelligent people are
surprised to hear that in a majority of species, females do happen to
be the larger sex. This is an evolutionary adaptation with probable
reproductive advantage for the American bald eagle, the king crab,
the snowy owl, the gypsy moth, the chinchilla, the garter snake, the
python, the right whale, the humpback whale, the gray whale, the
blue whale (thus the largest creature in the world is female), all
families of rabbits and hares, the hawks and the falcons, toads,
sharks, salmon, flounder, most hummingbirds and turtles, and other
fish, birds, reptiles, amphibians and insects too numerous to
mention.
Only a half-inch
shorter than Prince Charles when she wore her flat heels, Lady Di
was reduced in stature by a full head for the postage stamp that
commemorated their royal wedding. “She looked up into his eyes” is
more than a breathless phrase from a Gothic novel; it is an
expression of the heterosexual relationship as we expect to find it.
When a woman stands taller than a man she has broken a cardinal
feminine rule, for her physical stature reminds him that he may be
too short—inadequate, insufficient—for the competitive world of
men. She has dealt a blow to his masculine image, undermined his
footing as aggressor-protector. To show a man that he may not be
needed is a terribly unfeminine stance."