bro last night was a marvelous flying machine
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if i look back, i am lost
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
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KIROKAZE
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oozey mess
trying on a metaphor
NASA
occasionally subtle

titsay
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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#extradirty
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@devious-buffoon
bro last night was a marvelous flying machine
Dahling you simply must read this book! It’s all about this devious little caterpillar who simply gorges himself on all manner of divine things
so you know that cursed sword that slowly drives whoever wields it mad & causes mysterious illnesses? you guessed it: scabbard was absolutely loaded with black mold
i dont even want to fight in evil kingdom anymore but good kingdom wotn take me on account of my evil red sword and my skull pauldrons, and my jet black spiky armor and on account of the fact i killed 200 pixies just for fun and also they have regulations on how spiky your armor can be and the fact i killed 400 pixies
[twirling my hair] haha…and what does that portend ;]
just hit a black flash on someone's dog
(cursed trinket shop owner voice) i'm sure you'll find something in my shop you can't live without...
just woke up in a tub full of ice with a mysterious scar above where my posting organ is
i think my curse got stronger
its time to go big..... (calling to our game show assistant) roll in the ancient beast
this kingdom is going to shit man
An honorable mention that lives forever in my heart
tarot reader: draws the tower me: thats bad isnt it tarot reader: draws the tower again me: uh oh tarot reader: draws boeing 767
the urban tarot is pretty cool. they‘ve changed some of their cards, but fortunately I, in possession of the very first edition, get to show you this
ORC FACTS
the green color is not chlorophyll. they cannot usually photosynthesize. but sometimes they can
my cousin lorbish can photosynthesize
ORC FACTS
lorbish can photosynthesize
The leading theory as to why orcs are green is that it helps them hide in their natural habitat: amongst other orcs.
ORC FACTS
ohhhhhhhhhhhh that makes sense
torture doesnt work on me anymore
i bet it feels good as fuck to erupt from the soil as a skeleton warrior
I'm a big hit at parties because I say things like "death to all who oppose us" and "the reckoning is at hand" when I’m clicked on