Dia

Drink boba. Stay soba. 🧋

[monstermonger]

Friend in an alleyway | my wife sent me this photo the other day and said "you HAVE to draw this." and I agreed completely <:

[monstermonger]

oops I was told you can only see the photo if you have a bsky account, so here's a screenshot of it!

[orteil42]

Wait, you were actually born in the 1900's? Thats so cool

i am going to eat my own entire skin

[idabbleincrazy]

Reblog if you were born in the 1900's.

[avoiding-claws]

[uncertainlys]

MY FINGERS BARELY EVEN TOUCHED YOUR STUPID FUCKING AD STOP REDIRECTING ME TO THE APP STORE

[scrupulosity-comics]

sometimes instead of a horrid little monk, divine visions of lesbians dance in my head dispensing wisdom

[scrupulosity-comics]

[offwegointothewildblueyonder]

when a child goes to Build-A-Bear and constructs a teddy from the parts available no one bats an eye, but when I, Victor Frankenstein,

[anxietyproblem]

[goth-queen]

[catchymemes]

[thulium]

[silvermoon424]

UNFATHOMABLY based hive mother. Let's pour one out for our fallen bee comrades.

[massachusetts-official]

A modern Massachusetts classic

Official Post of Massachusetts

[hollowboobtheory]

imagine hiring an assassin and they talk to you in a customer service voice

[teaboot]

"Hello, how can I help you today? Wonderful, can I get a first and last name? And how would I spell that? Awesome. And would you happen to have an address for this individual? And place of work? Fantastic.

Now, I'm going to give you a number, and I'm going to ask that you send in a photo of your target alongside any additional information you may have- family members, security, combat training, medical conditions, just anything you can think of that might be helpful.

Wonderful, you are all good. All we need now is a piece of government-issued ID, for insurance purposes, and a location for payment pickup. We accept cash, gold, processed uranium, and etransfer.

I'm sorry, we don't take american express.

Good, okay, so it looks like we are all set- when the job is complete, you will be notified VIA discreet codeword that a stranger will whisper to you on a crowded street.

We do not issue receipts, but if you'd like, I can arrange for a specific breed of tropical flower to be sent to your home address. Our associates will be able to validate it should the need arises.

And is that everything you were looking for today? Great! Thank you for coming to us. Have a nice day!"

[teaboot]

Alternatively,

"I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid the Pope is a high-status target that is beyond our area of service.

Yes, I- no, I'm sorry, I'm not able to do that for you.

Okay. Okay. Yes, I understand.

Sir, if you're going to use that sort of language, you should know that our HR department does operate in a hands-on capacity.

Wonderful. You take care."

[nebulousboundsfloof]

They create a perfectly normal call cemter staffed by decidedly amoral college students and paying them at least 4x minimum wage.

[hollowboobtheory]

hiring manager: you’re not concerned about the ah, services we offer? 

a college student who has eaten ramen twice a day for the past year: for $25/hour i’ll pull the trigger myself

[talvin-muircastle]

Look, the difference between Assassins and Customer Service is that Assassins are paid a lot of money to kill people and Customer Service isn’t being paid nearly enough not to.

[noah-wyles]

she's the best of us

[podcastwizard]

you don’t realize how important lunch is until you’re wandering around thinking about how unloveable and untalented and uniquely cursed you are and then it’s 4pm and you finally eat lunch and you go Oh. oh right.

[podcastwizard]

lot of people commenting on this post like "who eats lunch at 4pm that's a terrible time to eat lunch" yes. that is the point. 4pm lunch is inadvisable. 4pm lunch is not the ideal. 4pm lunch makes the mind demons real.

[sabertoothwalrus]

I hate the videoification of everything. If I have to hear one more video of someone speaking closely into their shitty mic and I have to have all their yucky wet mouth noises and plosives and nose whistles and throat clearings and sniffles I am going to dig a vertical hole the exact dimensions of my body and I’m going to slither in head first

[sabertoothwalrus]

as someone with misophonia, the widespread popularization of asmr audio editing + people that are being pushed to make video content with no formal training and have no idea how to edit their audio (ex college professors, average joe tiktokers, etc) is literally my nightmare scenario. this is hell I am in hell

[sabertoothwalrus]

this is actually the last straw for me I need to start sending people emails

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

i got a fucking. advertisement on youtube. from google ai. saying. without sarcasm and with complete sincerity. "if shakespeare is too hard for you, you can always have our ai explain it to you." im gonna throw up. im gonna throw a molotov cocktail. if i see that ad again im reporting it for hate speech. how fucking dare you. i will kill you with my bare hands. with my exit pursued by a bear hands. i will tear google headquarters down brick by brick. im going to start biting people.

[bedupolker]

Opposable thumbs are handy

[risk-repeater]

this job market is a fucking nightmare