Ask an 8

ellie, female, Christian, 8w7, sx/soc, infp. Enneagram side blog

[needserotonindealer]

Connectinon Between Childhood Trauma and Enneagram

I’ve decided to share some of the stuff I learned about the childhood experience of all Enneagram types, and how this experience shapes us into a certain type. All this is based on some of my observations and studies plus backed up with some info from the books: Personality Types: Using the Enneagram for Self-Discovery by Don Richard Riso & Russ Hudon and The Enneagram Guide to Waking Up by Beatrice Chestnut.

And do keep in mind that it’s just a general pattern and observation - while it’s a lot more common for a certain type to have such a childhood experince, nothing is set in stone. 

Keep reading

[rainytypology]

Enneagram notes list

Just some enneagram notes. Not an expert. May change later.

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Enneagram system

Some sources

Enneagram types overview/basics

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9

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Other lists:

MBTI Notes

Kpop idol typology

[delightfullygrace]

The Enneatypes as YouTube Comments

Type 1 thinking no partner could match their perfection standards:

Type 2 trying to find the positive aspects of others:

Type 3 justifying doing something that isn’t productive:

Type 4 finding beauty (and memes) even in the darkest of places:

Type 5...just always:

Type 6 out of their comfort zone:

Type 7 assuring everyone it’s not drugs, it’s just how they think on a normal basis:

Type 8 defending someone else (or when you irritate them lol):

Type 9 at the end of a long day:

I changed type 6 because I found one which I felt fit better

[istj-hedonist]

I think I'm an eight but I'm not actually aggressive? I'm a pretty weak person (physically) and even if I don't avoid conflicts I feel too weak to confront people stronger or more powerful than me. I feel like I can't act in the moment and this frustrates me like hell, feeling vulnerable is really painful. My aggression is mostly showed with words with people I'm close to. Idk if I misunderstood eight's descriptions so my question is if you think I'm an unhealthy eight or I am mistyped?

> eight but I’m not actually aggressive

mistyped. anger is literally the core emotion of an 8. even sp-dom 8w9s who will perceive themselves as “mostly pretty chill” are still aggressive people and admit that without remorse when asked about it. and the unhealthier an 8 is, the more aggressive they are.

> can’t act in the moment and this frustrates me like hell

for 8s (like with all gut types) it’s more of the opposite. they can’t help acting in the moment even if it kills them. being physically weaker than their opponent is no reason for an 8 to avoid a conflict. this doesn’t mean that 8s will jump into every conflict that arrises, but “i’m too weak, i could die” wouldn’t be an explanation they choose. instead they would say something like “i was too lazy/tired” (when 9-wing), or “not worth it, got better things to do” (when 7-wing)

thinking too much, having trouble with acting in the moment and being frustrated with it is a classic trait of head types (and yes, this includes 7s). that your aggression shows through words instead of physicality (screaming instead of hitting something) also points to head type.

8s are by far not the only type being afraid of vulnerability. weak Fi makes people afraid of showing softer parts of themselves across all enneatypes. 3s are also afraid of appearing weak when it hurts their reputation. and lastly sp-doms of all types are also like “hmm better not reveal too much about myself. showing weak spots just creates bonds with other people that are too much responsibility and might risk my wellbeing in the future”

[pricetobepaid]

One of the most effective ways to deflate an 8w7 when they try to engage you in a fight is to just not roll with it. Give them the deadest, most unimpressed stare, and watch as their momentum ceases.

[spooks-typology]

hot take: 8s aren't actually any angrier than other gut cores or even fixes -- they just don't repress their anger at all. Even 8w9 based resistance isn't necessarily repression, they're resisting the act of reacting.

hot take #2: 8w7s give 8s their hyper-reactive reputation, since w7 has head based jitters/neuroses and fear of losing their freedom. This head influence also makes them more likely to react preemptively to a threat, or even to get angry recreationally (w7 entertainment value). 8w9s, however, tend to be "rocks", unwilling to move, or to give into what someone wants -- their reaction to their own reactivity is to resist it so the other person "doesn't win". 8w9 tends to merge into the environment in some way and takes subtler forms of control, more like a blanket than w7-type hammer anger. w9 peacemaking, so to speak, and stopping others from reacting.

It's also worth remembering that even though 8s look much angrier than say, a 1, 8 anger in average health isn't necessarily that deep. Because of their reactive core nature, their relevant emotion rides close to the surface and is expressed without a lot of thought or real, deep merit to them (4s and 6s express negativity and fear a lot this way, too.) 1 based anger lasts longer and is harder to get rid of, because it typically runs deep, into your bones kind of anger, often built up through years of repression and denial. None of which is to say that any gut type is better than another -- they all just have different methods and 8s need more love and good information on how they function.

[diaryofanennea8]

Currently in a "consume my ass if you dont like it" sort of mood

[boingoalive1988]

if you ever feel safe please remember that im out there

[thefloret-deactivated20190114]

The 20 year old child in me pleads “Protect me, please. Make me feel safe. I just want to be worthy of empathy, kindness and protection.”

The 11 year old adult in me explains “We can only depend on ourselves for protection & safety. Others are not to be trusted. The way to survive in this world is to be self-reliant.”

We have not found a compromise yet.

[farorez-deactivated20201017]

*gets down on one knee* will you…….. *takes out ring* ……….fight me?

[animatedtext]

[aidashakur]

[kweza-deactivated20221020]

men, take notes 📝

[horrrifiction]

yes my feelings are valid but i don't want them

[yearningheart]

I feel so frightened of being hurt – not of the suffering, which I know I can handle, but the indignity of suffering, the indignity of being open to it.

– Sally Rooney, Beautiful World, Where Are You

[makeyouleave]

i hate how much i’ve shared with people. i want to take everything back

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

“Behind every strong person lies a broken child who had to learn to stand up and take no shit.”

— lonerwolf