You know, something I just realized is actually kinda funny.
The sole reason I even know what transgenderism is, is simply because I started seeing transphobia.
"This is so wrong, this is disgusting" etc made me wonder why they thought it was so wrong, so I pursued knowledge.
RuPaul's Drag Race was one of the first queer and LGBTQIA+ friendly media I ever consumed. I was not, and still am not the biggest fan of the drama because I just simply don't like drama, but I saw so many contestants coming out during that show. Grown "men" crying as they admit to feeling ostracized from their childhood communities, their family and friends, saying they've come to realize they're not actually a man, but a woman. I watched a handful of them becoming so vulnerable and stripping (emotionally) completely in front of someone they adored, but also a huge camera crew, and thus essentially the entire world. I thought "How is this wrong? What's so disgusting about this?"
I was 10 when I sat in the school bus after school and talked with some younger kids I was friends with about transgenderism. I don't remember the conversation, obviously, this is like 13 years ago, but I remember telling them it was actually possible for a boy to get a surgery to remove his penis. I remember feeling proud to be the one telling them this, but also appalled that their natural reactions were so strong, because mine never was, and both my parents and my older brother were vehemently against self expression like that.
When I was like 13, I identified as bisexual. I became obsessed with the flag's colours and tried to coordinate my outfits to have a similar vibe.
When I was 14, someone in my class told us after a visiting performance group that the lead singer *wanted* to be confusing, gender-wise. Someone had tried to make fun of the lead singer after their performance, and were quickly shut down when no one followed. My friend explained what being non-binary meant, and I felt so outed, but in a good way. My friend said the singer's long, messy hair was purposeful, that their big clothes were purposeful, and that they never introduced themselves by anything other than name, nor talked about it because they didn't need to; their self expression said everything for them. I remember going to the bathroom that same day and looking at my own long [straightened] hair and baggy clothes and wondered for the first time if I was on the same wavelength, just not the same wave.
When I was 16 I met my first ever trans friend. I quickly developed a crush on him, which, in hindsight wasn't actually a crush, but admiration, and I wanted to protect him at all costs. Whenever our elder teacher misgendered him or used his dead name, I, fairly aggressively, corrected her in front of the entire class to the point that I was yelled at for interrupting and that "she" [referring to my GUY friend] knows it's not on purpose. He never told me to stop, so I never did. We also didn't have that teacher for many classes, and I noticed she started to avoid using pronouns or even his name because I didn't back down.
That same year I found out that a friend I had, but had lost contact with, had also come out. She had socially changed her name when she started a new school, and her appearance had drastically changed from when we went to the same school just a year or so prior. I messaged her, asking if it was true and told her I was proud of her for being herself and that I was happy she had found who she truly was. The next time we met, I slipped with her pronouns, but that was also the only time I ever did. I apologized and we continued our lives as friends again. The next year, after I, too, had started my own self discovery journey, she dead named me, and I dropped her instantly. As a trans person, how do you have the guts to insult someone the same way you have been, even if they're not actively trans? (at the time, I only thought I was gay) Another in the same friend group followed suit after berating her, and after nearly 20 years of acquaintance, she dropped her as well. Apparently, they were never actually friends, they just happened to be the only two who were left out and decided to stick together. Had me and my two childhood friends from a different school not entered the picture, they wouldn't have maintained contact after their last year at the same school. I've also minimized contact with her since, after finding out she blames the entire trans community for everything that's wrong in the world after I came out as enby to her. She has always been protective of me, and has, on numerous occasions said she admires me, but when I learned that she wasn't just not a big fan of the, prior, only trans person in our group, but actually had fundamental issues with her as a trans person, my view of her changed. We had a short discussion about being trans and what it meant, and she argued with the same point you usually hear, like "You can never change your biological sex" and how we're just mentally unstable [which really felt like a personal attack because she knows I am].
About a year after I came out to my friends as enby, I came out to my mom after we had been drinking. I remember my thoughts being so loud when she started her usual transphobic tirade, and just as I was about to tell her, my nose started bleeding. I cleaned myself up and started by saying I knew why that happened, and came out to her on the spot. She stammered when she realized every bad thing and every criticism she has ever slung at the trans community, were also indirectly thrown at me. We've tried talking about it since, but she stands firm on non-binary not being real and how it doesn't matter if one is trans during life because "iN onE ThOusAnD yEaRs-"
My point is that in my peers' attempt at keeping everything strictly conservative, they helped me figure out that I'm a liberal.
My transphobic family's comments made me pursue my own conclusions because they were too emotional about it and never talked about trans people as other civils.
And I find that kinda funny.
yousharknotpass
turnnoffyourmind
jacobvanloon
romaincrisis
snowghoul
origamiaround
baratheonpilled
