A summary of what’s been going on with Neil Gaiman and my late night thoughts. (Trying not to let this get to 10k words, but we’ll see.)
Accusers via podcast:
Tortise podcast: (FYI it’s not paywalled. Yes, it’s a very mixed bag of reporting.)
Scarlett
Groupie turned babysitter - podcast calls her a nanny but they didn’t even pay her. Definitely not an appropriate person for NG to pursue regardless. Tortise has never released the WhatsApp messages that they cite, but presumably if they were entirely made up NG would have the strongest libel case ever and the podcast would have already been pulled. Thus, even if nothing else they claim is accurate, I’m inclined to believe their WhatsApp summary. Unfortunately the WhatsApp messages are mixed, and I can see why the NZ police didn’t feel like they had sufficient evidence of a crime bc Scarlett’s messages contradicted themselves. But it’s clear that he did hop into a bath with her on the first meet and they rapidly entered some sort of a BDSM relationship based on her WhatsApp recaps. I wish Tortise would release the full archive, because the podcast comes across as hiding something in their weak-ass reporting. (Did they have a safe word? Who knows? Tortise didn’t ask.) Alone it’s not clear if Scarlett is a reliable narrator, though the WhatsApps are enough to get the gist, and I can see how NG could hide behind “gold-digger” claims—though it’s on him (ha) for pursuing someone with Scarlett’s circumstances.
K
Met at a fan event. Kept up correspondence. Sometime after meeting he propositioned her and another teenage friend for a threesome, but they declined and he continued to pursue her until a year later when NG and K entered a relationship. Kay has no incentive to lie (and still faces risks coming public bc even if we don’t know who she is, NG clearly does.) I find her very credible, and even painted in the best light for NG—he’s not following the “leave no trace” rule of dating with power imbalances. He’s clearly sleazy and uses his fame to drag girls into BDSM who otherwise would not have participated. And the UTI thing? Awful if true (and I believe her.)
Caroline
Now we’re really getting somewhere. Real name, contemporaneous evidence from a magazine that she did indeed live in a property owned by Amanda Palmer (and presumably NG) https://hvmag.com/things-to-do/amanda-palmer-grieves-writes-helps-others-find-solace-from-woodstock/?amp=1
Again with the libel law risk, I do think she likely did obtain a $275k payout. And this story is interesting because she was not young. NG isn’t just after youth—he specifically wants to be god-like. Demanding sexual favors from a divorcee whom you’d previously promised a discount on a real estate purchase in exchange for years of property management? The arrangement was fine without sex until she wasn’t another man’s property. Then it’s all “give me bjs or Amanda will need the pottery studio and house back.” Making a single mother beg you to not reneg on a deal that was negotiated years earlier? Gross. I understand that women have been trading sex for housing forever, but this is just extra awful—she already was doing labor for NG/AP (to upkeep their 2nd? 3rd? 4th? home…) the bj demand thing just seems like an extra way to make her feel small.
Julia
I have less to say about this one. In isolation, it probably would be easy to write off as a young person being shitty to another young person in the 80s. But nonetheless, I appreciate her coming forward to bolster other stories.
Am I Broken - Survivor Stories podcast:
Claire
This podcast adds to the narrative by ~not~ being produced by Tortise. I think the host has radically different politics, tbh. It’s not produced by a journalist, which unfortunately shows in the lack of tight presentation and not introducing dates clearly upfront. Still, Claire comes across as very honest, and they provide recordings from a therapy session allegedly recorded before any of the Tortise investigations were underway. Also Claire’s timeline is verifiable against historical records of events NG would have been attending at the times Claire claims. I don’t know how much the host of this podcast understands libel laws, but I’m hoping they have done their best to validate the therapy recordings and messages sent to NG.
Other
There are even more mini accusations and/or whispers on reddit, twitter, bluesky (but so hard to substantiate that I’ll gloss over them for this summary.)
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If you wanted to give NG the most “benefit of the doubt” take—(Scarlett’s cluster B, he did not think K’s “no” during the UTI really meant no in the context of their BDSM arrangement because pain-is-cool or something, Caroline at least got housing out of it, and he really just didn’t read the signals with Julia) it’s still not a great picture. NG’s judgement in private does not align with how he presents himself most recently in public. It would be best for everyone if he couldn’t keep doing stuff like this. He shouldn’t be propositioning BDSM to unsuspecting groupies. There are clearly women out there who /do/ want what he wants (Tortise even found one to vouch for him!) He is more than old enough to understand that there are consequences to sleeping with people who are only in your orbit because of your fame and wealth. You might say “he was asking for it.”
And if you take it in the worst possible light…
/well/
🤮
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Now I’m left with the question—where do we go from here?
I’m not a “we must have a perfect solution and everyone must pass my belief purity test” kind of person. The world is complicated and unfair. NG is super interconnected financially and socially—let’s be real: he is not going to face legal consequences. No one has “beyond a reasonable doubt” level of evidence that would secure a conviction and much of the stuff he’s done isn’t technically a crime.
And the fan base flagellating themselves and one another for not being emotional robots instantly capable of turning off longstanding emotions they have for whatever NG creations they’d loved—that does not help anyone. (Seriously, touch some grass. Humans evolved to attach. It’s a main survival instinct.)
When dealing with a serious wound, the order of operations is:
1. Get away from active threats 🛑
2. Stop the bleeding 🩹
3. Clean the wound 🧼
4. Promote physical healing ❤️🩹
5. Don’t get in the same situation again 🚷
6. (Bonus—don’t make more people’s lives worse while completing 1-5) ⭐️
This is how I’d map the current situation to the metaphor:
1. The lawyers for NG already did this. He’s on a very short leash right now. 🛑
2. Sort of a continuation from #1, we as a fandom need to put a tight barrier between NG and young fans. Don’t let your local bookstore or convention bring NG onsite. Clear his calendar of public interaction appearances forever. 🩹
3. Add context where it’s currently not. There are lots of red flags just sitting out there. You don’t have to be an in-your-face jerk about it (people will actually lean harder into their love of NG if you do this) but like, don’t let the discourse die. If you’re publishing new fan stuff, don’t tag NG in it. If you see a super flattering bio of him published somewhere, maybe let the publisher know that you’d like to see more nuanced / critical take. Be a good example and help establish new social standards. 🧼
4. Read some new books. Diversify your intake. If you really only want established, super star content—Terry Pratchett is dead already and that dude wrote like 50 books. I’m sure tumblr can provide you with more horror books than you could consume in a lifetime. ❤️🩹
5. Don’t simp in famous people’s DMs. There are always going to be creators who make themselves more accessible to fans (and that’s OK!) But just don’t hand them weird softballs that make them extra likeable to vulnerable young people. By all means, ask your dumb question clarifying the plot. But don’t give them silly sexual questions that make them look effortlessly cool and sexy. If you’re an old like me, talk to your kids about how to recognize if someone is lording themselves over you in a way that’s particularly insidious. Talk to them about how to break up safely or how to trust their gut when someone makes them uncomfortable. 🚷
6. You don’t have to advocate for the complete and utter cancellation of ongoing media that spawned from NG (though if you feel compelled to do so, I’m not going you stop you.) GO or Sandman being cancelled doesn’t really hurt NG very much (he’s already independently wealthy and will keep getting royalties from older properties in perpetuity.) It does financially hurt a lot of people already in the production at this point, however, because folks have already had to clear their calendars for their contracts and turn down other opportunities to work in 2025 (which is actually pretty soon!) It would be excellent, however, if greedy media companies saw the path of least resistance as including “using our lawyers to keep our sexpest cash cow out of public forever.” ⭐️
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I actually worry a lot that if all of this isn’t handled carefully, that it could actually embolden NG. If he has nothing left to lose—his benefactors cut him off—he actually will come back to tumblr. Plenty of people have made a name for themselves in publicly pushing back against cancellations until new accusations basically don’t stick. A free-agent NG could turn up his dark-boy aesthetic to 11 and make a go at this. Maybe he’ll shift back to X. Weirder things have happened.
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Also, not sure where to put this but I’m tired of writing so I’m taping it onto the end—would love if we could shift the narrative from “age gaps bad” to “when a significant power imbalance exists in a relationship, the more powerful participant owes a greater duty of care to the less powerful participant.” I think this helps keep the discussion away from infantilizing women and instead aims the focus on what is actually the issue. You want to fuck a rockstar at 21? Go for it. But that rockstar needs to not leave you worse off than how he found you. And if he can’t put in the work to do that, he needs to stick to sex with people who are more established in their lives (financially, emotionally, etc.)



















