Dirt and Space

I’ve been informed that you have to put something here to imply humanity.

[dirtandspace]

A summary of what’s been going on with Neil Gaiman and my late night thoughts. (Trying not to let this get to 10k words, but we’ll see.)

Accusers via podcast:

Tortise podcast: (FYI it’s not paywalled. Yes, it’s a very mixed bag of reporting.)

Scarlett

Groupie turned babysitter - podcast calls her a nanny but they didn’t even pay her. Definitely not an appropriate person for NG to pursue regardless. Tortise has never released the WhatsApp messages that they cite, but presumably if they were entirely made up NG would have the strongest libel case ever and the podcast would have already been pulled. Thus, even if nothing else they claim is accurate, I’m inclined to believe their WhatsApp summary. Unfortunately the WhatsApp messages are mixed, and I can see why the NZ police didn’t feel like they had sufficient evidence of a crime bc Scarlett’s messages contradicted themselves. But it’s clear that he did hop into a bath with her on the first meet and they rapidly entered some sort of a BDSM relationship based on her WhatsApp recaps. I wish Tortise would release the full archive, because the podcast comes across as hiding something in their weak-ass reporting. (Did they have a safe word? Who knows? Tortise didn’t ask.) Alone it’s not clear if Scarlett is a reliable narrator, though the WhatsApps are enough to get the gist, and I can see how NG could hide behind “gold-digger” claims—though it’s on him (ha) for pursuing someone with Scarlett’s circumstances.

K

Met at a fan event. Kept up correspondence. Sometime after meeting he propositioned her and another teenage friend for a threesome, but they declined and he continued to pursue her until a year later when NG and K entered a relationship. Kay has no incentive to lie (and still faces risks coming public bc even if we don’t know who she is, NG clearly does.) I find her very credible, and even painted in the best light for NG—he’s not following the “leave no trace” rule of dating with power imbalances. He’s clearly sleazy and uses his fame to drag girls into BDSM who otherwise would not have participated. And the UTI thing? Awful if true (and I believe her.)

Caroline

Now we’re really getting somewhere. Real name, contemporaneous evidence from a magazine that she did indeed live in a property owned by Amanda Palmer (and presumably NG) https://hvmag.com/things-to-do/amanda-palmer-grieves-writes-helps-others-find-solace-from-woodstock/?amp=1

Again with the libel law risk, I do think she likely did obtain a $275k payout. And this story is interesting because she was not young. NG isn’t just after youth—he specifically wants to be god-like. Demanding sexual favors from a divorcee whom you’d previously promised a discount on a real estate purchase in exchange for years of property management? The arrangement was fine without sex until she wasn’t another man’s property. Then it’s all “give me bjs or Amanda will need the pottery studio and house back.” Making a single mother beg you to not reneg on a deal that was negotiated years earlier? Gross. I understand that women have been trading sex for housing forever, but this is just extra awful—she already was doing labor for NG/AP (to upkeep their 2nd? 3rd? 4th? home…) the bj demand thing just seems like an extra way to make her feel small.

Julia

I have less to say about this one. In isolation, it probably would be easy to write off as a young person being shitty to another young person in the 80s. But nonetheless, I appreciate her coming forward to bolster other stories.

Am I Broken - Survivor Stories podcast:

Claire

This podcast adds to the narrative by ~not~ being produced by Tortise. I think the host has radically different politics, tbh. It’s not produced by a journalist, which unfortunately shows in the lack of tight presentation and not introducing dates clearly upfront. Still, Claire comes across as very honest, and they provide recordings from a therapy session allegedly recorded before any of the Tortise investigations were underway. Also Claire’s timeline is verifiable against historical records of events NG would have been attending at the times Claire claims. I don’t know how much the host of this podcast understands libel laws, but I’m hoping they have done their best to validate the therapy recordings and messages sent to NG.

Other

There are even more mini accusations and/or whispers on reddit, twitter, bluesky (but so hard to substantiate that I’ll gloss over them for this summary.)

—

If you wanted to give NG the most “benefit of the doubt” take—(Scarlett’s cluster B, he did not think K’s “no” during the UTI really meant no in the context of their BDSM arrangement because pain-is-cool or something, Caroline at least got housing out of it, and he really just didn’t read the signals with Julia) it’s still not a great picture. NG’s judgement in private does not align with how he presents himself most recently in public. It would be best for everyone if he couldn’t keep doing stuff like this. He shouldn’t be propositioning BDSM to unsuspecting groupies. There are clearly women out there who /do/ want what he wants (Tortise even found one to vouch for him!) He is more than old enough to understand that there are consequences to sleeping with people who are only in your orbit because of your fame and wealth. You might say “he was asking for it.”

And if you take it in the worst possible light…

/well/

🤮

—

Now I’m left with the question—where do we go from here?

I’m not a “we must have a perfect solution and everyone must pass my belief purity test” kind of person. The world is complicated and unfair. NG is super interconnected financially and socially—let’s be real: he is not going to face legal consequences. No one has “beyond a reasonable doubt” level of evidence that would secure a conviction and much of the stuff he’s done isn’t technically a crime.

And the fan base flagellating themselves and one another for not being emotional robots instantly capable of turning off longstanding emotions they have for whatever NG creations they’d loved—that does not help anyone. (Seriously, touch some grass. Humans evolved to attach. It’s a main survival instinct.)

When dealing with a serious wound, the order of operations is:

1. Get away from active threats 🛑

2. Stop the bleeding 🩹

3. Clean the wound 🧼

4. Promote physical healing ❤️‍🩹

5. Don’t get in the same situation again 🚷

6. (Bonus—don’t make more people’s lives worse while completing 1-5) ⭐️

This is how I’d map the current situation to the metaphor:

1. The lawyers for NG already did this. He’s on a very short leash right now. 🛑

2. Sort of a continuation from #1, we as a fandom need to put a tight barrier between NG and young fans. Don’t let your local bookstore or convention bring NG onsite. Clear his calendar of public interaction appearances forever. 🩹

3. Add context where it’s currently not. There are lots of red flags just sitting out there. You don’t have to be an in-your-face jerk about it (people will actually lean harder into their love of NG if you do this) but like, don’t let the discourse die. If you’re publishing new fan stuff, don’t tag NG in it. If you see a super flattering bio of him published somewhere, maybe let the publisher know that you’d like to see more nuanced / critical take. Be a good example and help establish new social standards. 🧼

4. Read some new books. Diversify your intake. If you really only want established, super star content—Terry Pratchett is dead already and that dude wrote like 50 books. I’m sure tumblr can provide you with more horror books than you could consume in a lifetime. ❤️‍🩹

5. Don’t simp in famous people’s DMs. There are always going to be creators who make themselves more accessible to fans (and that’s OK!) But just don’t hand them weird softballs that make them extra likeable to vulnerable young people. By all means, ask your dumb question clarifying the plot. But don’t give them silly sexual questions that make them look effortlessly cool and sexy. If you’re an old like me, talk to your kids about how to recognize if someone is lording themselves over you in a way that’s particularly insidious. Talk to them about how to break up safely or how to trust their gut when someone makes them uncomfortable. 🚷

6. You don’t have to advocate for the complete and utter cancellation of ongoing media that spawned from NG (though if you feel compelled to do so, I’m not going you stop you.) GO or Sandman being cancelled doesn’t really hurt NG very much (he’s already independently wealthy and will keep getting royalties from older properties in perpetuity.) It does financially hurt a lot of people already in the production at this point, however, because folks have already had to clear their calendars for their contracts and turn down other opportunities to work in 2025 (which is actually pretty soon!) It would be excellent, however, if greedy media companies saw the path of least resistance as including “using our lawyers to keep our sexpest cash cow out of public forever.” ⭐️

—

I actually worry a lot that if all of this isn’t handled carefully, that it could actually embolden NG. If he has nothing left to lose—his benefactors cut him off—he actually will come back to tumblr. Plenty of people have made a name for themselves in publicly pushing back against cancellations until new accusations basically don’t stick. A free-agent NG could turn up his dark-boy aesthetic to 11 and make a go at this. Maybe he’ll shift back to X. Weirder things have happened.

—

Also, not sure where to put this but I’m tired of writing so I’m taping it onto the end—would love if we could shift the narrative from “age gaps bad” to “when a significant power imbalance exists in a relationship, the more powerful participant owes a greater duty of care to the less powerful participant.” I think this helps keep the discussion away from infantilizing women and instead aims the focus on what is actually the issue. You want to fuck a rockstar at 21? Go for it. But that rockstar needs to not leave you worse off than how he found you. And if he can’t put in the work to do that, he needs to stick to sex with people who are more established in their lives (financially, emotionally, etc.)

[sweaterkittensahoy]

shout out to everyone who has any sort of maintenance job whether it's a custodian or a mechanic or a furnace repair person or a pool cleaner or a housekeeper or anything where someone shows up or I go to you, and my shit is taken care of.

big appreciation for the maintenance people

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Huge fan of when I have a problem that I have no idea how to handle (or no time/tools/physical strength to handle) and I call A Guy who knows how to handle it and they come and handle it for me.

[dirtandspace]

This but specifically the state Department of Transportation. What do you mean you guys have engineers and stuff who all get together and build bridges that can hold like 500 cars all at once? And then you maintain them?? I can just hop in a vehicle and drive, idk six hours, across multiple states to an entirely different country and the road will be ready for me as soon as I’m out of the driveway? Alternatively I can get on a train (also coordinated with state DOTs) and do the same thing?

Marvelous pull on our civilization’s part, really. Thank you road people.

[shaunashipman]

TASKMASTER 21.06 "An Even Bigger Spoon"

[taskmastercentral]

TASKMASTER 21.07 "Putting Things On Things"

[sunriseverse]

can’t go wrong with pining while fucking as a trope. truly it has it all. pining. awkward sexual situations. weapons grade insecurity for all parties involved. the desperation as they inevitably fall further and further while hating themselves for being unable to stick to the contract of no strings attached. etc. you understand

[neuronerdo]

I just finished The Three Musketeers, and this might be the best book I've ever read in my life, mostly because every single character is batshit insane and drunk for 90% of their Big Plot Decisions. Lights up on d'Artagnan: he's new in town and he's already making enemies. He meets his three best friends by scheduling back to back duels with them, under the assumption that he won't have to fight the last two if he dies in the first one. He is twenty years old and has never even heard of a frontal cortex. This is made evident by every word he says. Athos, Porthos, and Aramis are supposedly in their 20s-30s, but barely any better. The moment they have any money at all, they siphon it directly into their alcohol budget. They make enemies everywhere they go and get into almost as many duels as d'Artagnan. Also worth mentioning: they see this crazed 20-year-old and choose to devote their lives to him simply because he has good vibes. We've got the cardinal, who seems only tangentially related to any kind of clergyhood. We've got the king, whose main personality trait is that he HATES his wife. We've got the queen, whose main personality trait is cheating on her husband. We've got the Duke of Buckingham, who is (unfortunately) English. We've got the Love of d'Artagnan's Life, aka somebody else's wife but he sucks so he can get cuckolded. And finally, we've got the prototype female manipulator, a character written with such intense feminism AND misogyny that I scarcely know what to say about her except "go off, queen" as well as the occasional "I don't support all women, some of you are stupid." Do yourself a favor and commit 5-12 weeks to reading this book, if for no other reason than the part where d'Artagnan tells a guy "I'll spring you from jail, don't worry, it's all part of the plan!" and then immediately forgets him in prison and flirts with his wife.

[skaldish]

I think about this a lot.

[computationalcalculator]

may I add also “butt dial” vs “booty call” vs “bottom text”

[clitorius-maximus]

Hand job vs manual labor

[ohgreatblackbunny]

Tags deserved to be seen

[dirtandspace]

Had a roommate (Roommate A) whose first language was neither Romantic or Germanic. One time I, along with Roommate B, were putting together a cool surprise for Roommate A, and unfortunately Roommate A caught us mid-setup. When Roommate A asked us what we were up to, we playfully said, “Oh, nothing.😇” And then Roommate A accused us of having burning pants.

Turns out when she’d come across the ditty “liar, liar, pants on fire” the necessity of the underlying rhyme was lost in translation.

[batsandboba]

“scientists don’t want you know” is a phrase that always cracks me up because if you actually meet a scientist they will be shaking and crying like an overstimulated chihuahua with the need to let you know

[hyrude]

the author’s barely disguised job they worked in their early 20s

[beaft]

google help me

[beaft]

the thing is, stephen king is generally pretty good at creating complex, well-rounded characters, which makes it all the more jarring when one of those characters abruptly comes out with what i'll term a "kingism". i don't know how best to define a kingism other than "you'll know it when you see it". it's the voice of the author intruding on the voice of the character, and in this case the voice of the author has a bad sense of humour and is ravenously, inexplicably horny

[beaft]

random example of a kingism aka "he would not fucking say that"

[beaft]

this too is a kingism

[beaft]

one of the hallmarks of a kingism is that when a character is being Horny On Main (or In Maine), they can never do it in a normal way. they have to come up with a sequence of words that nobody has ever said before in the history of the english language. here's another example:

[beaft]

i'm starting a collection

[mikkeneko]

[amelia-mariee]

I LOVE ACCURATE CHARACTERIZATION. I LOVE READING A FANFIC AND THINKING "YEAH THEY WOULD SAY THAT". I LOVE WHEN FANFICTION INCLUDES THEIR POSITIVE AND NEGATIVE TRAITS. I GET THE WRITER CAN DO WHATEVER THEY WANT AND IT'S A FANTASY BUT WHY DOES EVERY CHARACTER HAVE TO SOUND EXACTLY THE SAME NOWADAYS. I COULD ERASE THE NAME FROM A LOT OF THESE THINGS I READ AND GENUINELY NOT KNOW WHO I'M READING ABOUT.

[dirtandspace]

Let morally grey characters /be/ morally grey. For fuck’s sake, really.

[dirtandspace]

While we’re on the topic of reviving old-people names (looking at everyone naming their kid Francis or whatever) I’m going to need someone to bring back Meriwether.

Thanks in advance!

[eightfifteen]

Crazy how many people want characters in fiction to speak and act like they’ve had 20 hours of intensive therapy. Could NOT be me I want these bitches fucked up insane

[plutojester]

[doingthewritethings]

my friend briar and i lovingly call this one ‘therapy speak joker’ and it almost caused her to drop biological samples one time

[dizzyghoast]

i think the joker should start talking like this for real. no other character should do this only the joker. i want batman to have to deal with this

[teaboot]

Would you be comfortable with me sharing the story of how I got these scars

[fair-itself]

That would have been an incredible episode of Batman: The Animated Series, though. Joker gets out of Arkham, having convinced the psychs he's rehabilitated by speaking in fluent Therapy. Bats spends the entire episode losing his mind, because he KNOWS it's an act because NO ONE TALKS LIKE THAT and Joker reacts with total calm and understanding when he finds Batman in his pantry at 2AM. "You're violating a boundary right now, but I realize this behavior is caused by a history of trauma. Can we talk about how your inability to trust negatively affects those around you?" Meanwhile steam is just coming out of Batman's ears

[seriousfic]

Are you in the right headspace to receive information on you potentially being overserious?

[herbaciouslydelicious]

basically this

[seekingstars]

HOW’S THAT HOUSE THAT RAISED YOU? - Lev St. Valentine

[vole-mon-amour]

TRANSCRIPT:

HOW'S THAT HOUSE THAT RAISED YOU?

There's a method to growing rhubarb called "forcing" where it's raised in total darkness and tended to in brief intervals of candlelight. The plant thrives only because it's looking for an absent sun, and extends so far you can hear the growing pains. Forcing can weaken the crop but if done correctly can yield a sweeter, more desirable result. Not everything needs to be an allegory. All the same, I am aware that there are things that have happened in my formative years that I have no words to describe and that only God's eyes have seen.

Lev St. Valentine

Bonus:

Written by user @draconym:

The reason this makes the rhubarb plant sweeter is because all the glucose that would be spent growing the plant's inedible leaves is instead kept in the edible stalk. Omelas ass gardening technique.

[tearsanctuary]

“why are you getting frustrated with your characters? you write them, they can do whatever you want”

NO THEY CAN’T. this little fuckers have some psychological power over me i CANNOT MAKE THEM DO SHIT

[dirtandspace]

Look, I had an outline. And then *gestures vaguely at the things I’ve inexplicably written*

[pangur-and-grim]

I've read a few recently published books, and there's this recurring pattern where if anyone does anything bad and interesting, they have to later talk about it in a way that makes it clear that it was a misunderstanding/ justified/ not their fault, so they're still a good person. and if they have a disagreement with another character, they have to therapy talk it out, regardless of their background. it doesn't matter if this is a street urchin with three teeth who just stabbed and kidnapped someone, you will get eloquent sterile therapy speak that will smooth out any possible emotional tension. and everyone asks for permission before they kiss, and waits for a clear enthusiastic yes. again, doesn't matter the character's background or situation, they will ask "can I please kiss you," because if they didn't, that could get all yucky and uncertain, couldn't it? and if a character is from a rich family, they will hate being in a rich family, and hate wealth signifiers, and actually be all for class equality. and everyone is casually queer, without thought being put into how that would mesh with the society that is being described. like yes, this is violent class-based system obsessed with inheritance, but no, it's not actually a problem that the child they've coldly groomed to take on the family mantle is unwilling to beget an heir because of gay. the parents might be terrible, cruel and fascistic, but they're not homophobic! I don't know, it just seems like EVERYTHING that could actually be messy gets sanded and sanded until it's smooth as a shark, but the Fun Violence is allowed to stay, because bloodshed doesn't actually bother anyone or have any consequence apart from your rogue character shrugging and going oops, was that me? the rogue is still a good person though. if you think they're not, just wait for the two solid pages of introspection. and yes they started the book by slitting two throats, but that was fine. they will ask permission before hugging you.

[pangur-and-grim]

[pangur-and-grim]

I’m still baffled by how many of the responses to this post are “read other books”, because my rant is just pointing out a trend in recently published novels.

we can do a thought experiment: if I, as an individual, read other books, does the trend stop existing, making this observation obsolete?

let’s dig even deeper: what books do I read? the post is about recent-ish books, presumably in the fantasy genre. I don’t explicitly mention that I read old books, translated books, literary books, and award winners. does this mean that I don’t read them? does your teacher sleep in the school? let’s discuss.

[therearepeoplewho]

look it might feel corny and wrong to reference other media in your media but if no one does it the next generation of working class autodidacts dies on the vine

[marxalittle]

it’s called intertextuality and it is a millennia-long tradition in art and literature, it’s not some twee embarrassment it’s the sign of a well-grounded artist at work within their medium and in conversation with their peers and influences across centuries and disciplines; be kind cite your sources so others can go dip their pails in the well and draw their own water