We Deserve Our Own Dying

Writing side blog for @dirtypuzzle. I don’t want to spam my followers, so here it all goes. My AO3 is dirtypuzzle. I write (at least theoretically lmao) for: Naruto, DC Comics, ATLA, SPN, BNHA, BTS/kpop, Teen Wolf, SW (mostly prequel/EU/Clone Wars), GOT, and HR.

[dirtypuzzlewrites]

Fanfic Masterpost

My name is DP, and this is an 18+ blog in that you might encounter some NSFW or explicit writing and a lot of gore/body horror/guts on the outside lovingly described from time to time.

I write for: Naruto, DC, ATLA, SPN, BNHA, BTS/kpop, Teen Wolf, SW (mostly prequel/EU/Clone Wars), GOT, and HR. I'm open to most things and the list will eventually expand. (Anything colored I actually have published. Everything else is in the drafts.)

If you'd like to ask me to alpha or beta, send me a DM and we can chat. Depending on what you're looking for and how long the fic is, I'm more than happy to consider it!

Published Works Under the Cut:

Spillover series - post-Kamino AU - WIP - 4/?

Things never could’ve stayed the same after Kamino. All Might didn’t simply pass on his legacy; his retirement created an event horizon that neither Midoriya nor Bakugou could return from. This time, however—for this point of no return—they have adults willing to intervene on their behalf. [Or: A hospital visit changes things for the great.] This is a series of one-shots that explores a bit more adult intervention without taking the characters out of the action. Very hurt/comfort, very Talking Through Your Shit.

Go Back On and Make Good series - Time Travel AU - WIP - 1/5

“Duty will ask all of you for everything, if only so that someone will give it. Pray to the gods that it isn’t you and accept my pity if it is. Because it is pitiful, and no one will let you forget it.” (The real story of Kakashi Hatake is written down, sealed, and stored in its entirety at the back of the Hokage’s wartime bunker. Konoha’s Rokudaime becomes a figure of legend. No one knows their name, their face, or when they became Hokage, but no one else is allowed to hold the title. Rumor has it that they were a past Hokage brought back to life. They don’t realize how right they are.) Massive 5-part Naruto Peggy-Sue. I started this years ago and am still in the process of cleaning up the first fic so I can continue it. It's not dead, but it hasn't been updated in a while. I swear I will get there lmfao.

Heist Me Up - Canon Compliant? AU? idk - WIP - 1/?

It starts, like most of Ochako’s better ideas do, as a bout of envious window shopping. Shouto would like to state for the record, though, that he was on board from the word go, and is always down to break the law. He just figured that he could help Ochako snag a few goodies along the way. The Hero Commission stuff and the finding family stuff, well. He’s still processing it. Ochako just laughs and ropes Izuku’s mom into filing the lawsuits because they’re both nice like that. Crack fics that explore a chaotic Ochako & Shouto brOTP.

How We Win the War - Modern Magic AU - WIP - 8/?

Namjoon lives in transition. Always in the now, the present that never looks back and never plans for tomorrow. He’ll do anyone a favor for a price and only comes up for air in the niches he scatters around the globe. He doesn’t want a coven. He lives in-between and eyes forward. [Or: Namjoon needs a new apothecary. The coven that runs it won’t seem to leave him alone.] Inspired by Up We Go by Oh_Hey_Tae. (Definitely go read that.) This fic has entirely gotten away from me, and the hours spent on research hopefully doesn't go to waste.

To Steal Our Seoul - Modern AU - WIP - 1/?

You’ve heard success stories, you’ve heard the tales of bright-eyed kids making it big on nothing but faith and ramen noodles, clutching a dream tighter than they ever did their sense. But do you have time for the failures? Time for the deep crevasse of those that slipped on the ice and fell through the mile-deep cracks? Sometimes we need sacrificial lambs, not heroes. State secrets aren’t so secret anymore, and a handful of dreamers are going to get sucked in and never find their way back out. They can’t let their Seoul die, not when it took so much blood to find it in the first place. “Bearing that in mind, the question which remains to us is this: what is humanity? What do we have to do to keep humanity as one thing and not another?”—Han Kang, ‘Human Acts’ Stand-alone fic for BTS/Mamamoo. Modern AU with a bit of a twist. Gets really political and fucky, though I've only got one chapter out right now. Also heavy on research.

Sworn and Razed - Anakin Has a Twin!AU - WIP - 1/?

Tatooine is where memory goes to die. The galaxy leaves junk in their sand to never be dug up again, including the bones of Outer Rim slaves. Her father—a man Mama has never talked about—has no grave and no name, no stone or marked plot like the dead on real planets do. Lukka shears the flesh from bones when His sands rip across the horizon, the only vulture His winds. Mama tells them early on how it is: your name is your memory, and you’re remembered as long as there are folks that still say it. Don’t forget the names of the people you love; don’t forget; don’t forget; you won’t forget Mama, will you, Tan-Tan? Zeynatan will have a grave even if it’s the last thing she does, even if she has to dig up a thousand tons of rock. Nobody will forget her name; they’ll have to write it into their history books and carve it into their marble statues. Obi-Wan Kenobi left her in the desert to be forgot. Took her brother away from her. Surely hoped the twin suns would burn away her memory, her spite, her rage. And Obi-Wan Kenobi will die for it. Based on the tumblr post by @/wizardarchetypes's childhood OFC.

our duty, a killer - Canon Compliant - WIP - 1/2

Tim had a list. He made it after his first outing as Robin, when Two Face had Bruce and Dick, and Tim didn’t know if he could save both. He’d revised it over the years, changed his mind and reassessed the order, but one constant remained: Dick Grayson wasn’t on it. Dick Grayson could not be lost.

Oh, what it is to be needed, how it is to love that which is not.

[cryptidcharlie]

idea from this tweet

[faustandfurious]

There’s something truly exquisite about stories where the real tragedy is the price you paid to stand on top of the world

[faustandfurious]

Hollow victories … sacrificing your humanity on the altar of what you perceive to be the greater good … the loneliness of godhood … regret for the person you used to be … the realisation that there is no way back … *chef’s kiss*

[vanilla-extraction]

[hellohollanov]

7/21/26 - I don't recognize myself without you.

[tinylilhollander]

During the post-cottage era when Ilya's still playing for Boston, Shane sends Ilya a text one night that's just like "Are you alone?"

And Ilya is like "No I'm out for drinks with the guys. Did you not see that we won, Hollander?"

And Shane texts back like "Of course I saw, that's why I'm texting." Then a few seconds later: "Download this app right now. Be discreet." with an app store link. And Ilya texts back like '??? 🤨 Shane, have you been hacked?'

And Shane is like 'Just download the fucking app, asshole. This is your reward. Username is Jane2481. Fucking HURRY.'

And when Ilya follows the link and finds out that it's the app that controls a vibrating butt plug, he nearly blacks out at the table before disappearing for a suspiciously long smoke break.

[hr-rep]

Hayden on his way to the Hollander-Rozanov house after outting them for 20 bucks on accident

[redbeansesameball]

rewatched chicken run

[ryhsrunner]

The four most interesting parts of time loop are when the person kills themselves for the first time, when they kill someone else for the first time (in a fuck around kind of way, this doesn't count if they already were killing people outside of the loop), how they break the loop, and the weeks afterward where they loose their fucking minds in an entirely different, significantly more damaging to the world around them way. And yet I rarely see anything done with that last one. People leave time loops and are all happy go lucky 'oh boy'. Where's the grappling with people you know who will never know you? Where's the knowledge that the safety of the loop is gone, and you can't fix any mistakes you make? That's the good angst I want

[toast-the-unknowing]

the bad news: I now hate my current wip and strongly believe there isn't a single joke in it that lands

the good news: I know my process enough to recognize this as the slump that I hit in everything I write when it's like three-quarters-ish done

the bad news: the only way out is through

the good news: I do know the way out!

the bad news: yeah but it's through

[toast-the-unknowing]

making a cross stitch that says "I am funny and he would fucking say that" to hang directly above my monitor

[toast-the-unknowing]

"hey toast you stayed up past midnight because you were working on the fic and not because you were procrastinating by making a hideous pattern for a joke cross stitch" have you never met a writer before

[toast-the-unknowing]

gonna tell my kids this was live laugh love

[narutocap]

[bopbop171]

You know a character is goated when the AO3 tags look like this

[ao3commentoftheday]

For anyone who hasn't seen them before, Hidden Search Operators are handy tricks you can use when you're either searching or filtering AO3.

summary: string is a generic way of explaining that you can search AO3 for a specific word that appears in a summary. You can do this from the search bar in the header, from the Any Field box at the top of the Advanced Search form, or from the Search Within Results box at the bottom of the filter menu.

Examples:

summary: Bruce

summary: "Bruce Banner"

summary: Bruce OR summary: Banner OR summary: Hulk

You need to put quotation marks around your search term if it is more than one word. The quotes make sure that the site searches for those two words together.

The other two operators listed work best in the Search Within Results box.

expected_number_of_chapters: 1 will return results where every fic has only 1 chapter currently posted.

You can use expected_number_of_chapters: -1 if you want results where every fic has more than 1 chapter currently posted.

otp:true will return results where there is only 1 relationship tag on the fic. If you want results where there are 2+ relationship tags (and no fics with only 1 relationship tag) then you can use otp:false

[katri-24]

This page is so beautiful and honestly I hope it reaches and helps any new people that are just starting out on Ao3 because it's helping me and I’ve been using the site for 5+ years now

[ao3commentoftheday]

I saw your tags @jackdaw-sprite and I figured I could offer you some help? You've got a few options to find fics that are actually about your fave who is often sidelined.

My own personal go-to is to use the Search Within Results filter. You can find the filters by clicking/tapping on any tag. If you're on a wide screen like a laptop, they'll be on the right hand side of the screen. If you're on a narrow screen like a phone, you'll need to press the Filters button at the top of the page to open up the menu.

In that menu, scroll down until you're near the bottom. That's where you can find the box labelled Search Within Results. In that box, you can type

summary: Renhardt OR summary: Rendog

When you filter for that result, you'll get 19 fics with that name mentioned in the summary, and if the name is in the summary you've got MUCH higher chances of them being central to the fic.

There's also a way to find fics with a tag in the X position. Fan coders have had this same issue, and so they've created userscripts that you can add to your web browser (like an extension). Here are a few that might be helpful for you to try:

AO3 Actually Relevant Characters - Sorts and highlights works based on how relevant the tagged character seems in the work's tags and summary.

AO3: Prioritise my Faves - Hide work if chosen tags are late in sequence, or if blacklisted tags are early

AO3 Secondary Character & Pairing Filter - Replaces works with placeholder if the tags you want aren't the first few tags, with option to show work.

Editing to add: this version of the post has a syntax error in it. To remove oneshots with a filter, use

-expected_number_of_chapters: 1

[probablily]

How To Sort AO3 Fics To Find Stories That Say Something Meaningful Using Understated Yet Compelling Prose

[charl0ttan]

Fernando Pessoa, The Book of Disquiet, §18

[angel-mistakes]

SHANE HOLLANDER, MLH STAR, DIES FROM ACCIDENTAL OVERDOSE (click to read more)

That’s the headline Ilya reads on his Google alerts when he’s home alone. More and more articles start coming out, his phone pinging with different versions of the same sentence over and over. Every website claiming this horrible, twisted lie that Shane Hollander is dead.

It has to be a lie after all. This must be wrong. They’re all surely misreporting things and it’ll turn out that Hollander is alive, safe in his boring home in Montreal. Ilya’s confident there will be a statement made soon but he’s too impatient to wait for that.

Sure, they haven’t spoken since the day Shane fled from his home, leaving Ilya to clean up half-eaten tuna melts and their mixed come off his chest.

And Ilya didn’t reach out after Shane got a nasty hit in San Jose a few weeks ago— one that left Shane with a fractured collarbone and concussion. He tortured himself with the footage and drafted an “are you okay?” text but he never sent it. He had been a coward.

He wishes more than anything that he sent it now.

He calls Shane. It’s 8PM in Boston, which means it’s 8PM in Montreal and even Shane isn’t lame enough to be in bed so early.

No answer to his call. No answer to his texts. Nothing.

He calls and calls and calls and fucking calls but there’s nothing. No response, no answer. Not even a ‘read’ receipt. Shane isn’t cruel. He would call him. Even with this fractured something that they are (or were), he would have reached out. He would have heard about the news by now and called Ilya back or texted to say it was fake. That he was fine. That it was idiots being idiots and talking about something they knew nothing of.

So why the fuck is Shane not answering? The only reason he wouldn’t is if… is if…

Ilya doesn’t know what he’s doing until he’s in his car and headed to Montreal. His phone dies halfway through the trip from attempts to get in contact with Shane. Still nothing. He’s in a state of delirium when he crosses the border into Canada, with no plan other than making it to Shane’s house.

If Shane’s alive, he’ll be in his home and he’ll answer the door. And if not… Ilya doesn’t want to think that far.

Shane’s lounging on his couch, half asleep and frustrated at the world. He’s still reeling from getting the worst, most frantic phone call from his parents earlier that day.

And all because he’d gone to the hospital earlier. There had been unforeseen conflicts with his medication and some supplements he’s taking, something that risked leading to an overdose if not caught as early as it was.

Somehow that afternoon trip led to someone violating HIPPA and even more confusingly, led to quite a bit of the population mistaking him for being dead.

For once Shane’s thankful his mom talked him into keeping a landline when buying a home. “You never know what may happen Shane,” she had said.

Wasn’t that the truth? The whole reason for the urgent visit was because he got dizzy that morning, his vision and balance going off kilter, and he had dropped his phone, breaking it beyond repair. It was added to his list of annoyances with today. If not for his parents and Hayden having his home phone number… they might have believed the news for much longer than they had to.

It’s 1AM when furious knocking wakes him up. He must have fallen asleep down stairs. Shane’s groggy before it really hits him that someone is at his front door. No one in their right mind visits at one a.m.

He gets up and peeks through the peep hole and swings the door open before he even knows he’s going to do it because it’s—

Ilya.

He looks like shit. Eyes red-rimmed, hair like he went through a wind tunnel. He’s wearing flannel pajama pants, slides, and a sweatshirt. He looks like he just rolled out of bed.

He doesn’t get any words out before Ilya knocks the breath out of him by collapsing into him. It’s a hug but feels a bit like a tackle too. If Shane weren’t as athletic or as on guard at seeing Ilya, he may have fallen backwards.

It takes several moments to register Ilya is shaking in his arms.

No. Ilya is crying in his arms.

Shane’s brain searches for anything that would make this confusing thing make sense. He begins to think it may be a dream he has yet to wake up from but then it hits him.

The article. His phone being broken. His parents had called everyone they thought was important.

No one knew to tell Ilya it wasn’t real.

[jesterlesbian]

has anyone else seen sasha’s actor and JJ’s actor are like close friends now and running around paris together. i hadn’t even considered sasha/JJ….. but sasha does speak french doesn’t he….

[jesterlesbian]

[pitbush]

whiplash is one of the greatest pornographies of all time

[pitbush]

it has homophobia, grooming AND jazz