It really annoys me that the same people who love mentally ill people in the media (when they are shown in “positive” light) are the same ones that will hate me. Like I have more than one personality disorders. Like Girl Interrupted, the characters are adored. It’s just we are kind of quirky in that. It isn’t like it’s completely inaccurate but there’s something about it. Like I experience all of the symptoms that they do, I can have an unstable identity and when I do that, I’m just confusing and manipulative. They watch how characters have FPs and then stress out when I react about my FP. Because I am real and they’re just quirky and lovely. I’m only disgusting and manipulative. When I feel a fear of abandonment, it’s just me being unreasonable and weird but if characters do it, it’s relatable. When people in the media have impulsive behaviour, it’s fun and when it’s self-destructive, you feel sorry for them. What about when I do it? When I self-destruct, people leave and they just think about how I’m doing it all to myself and think I’m a monster. My extreme mood swings are too much for people around me but if I was a fictional character then I’d be fine, I’d be fun and I would have sympathy from everyone. When they feel anger, maybe they get to recover themselves and rehabilitate their anger. When they have unstable relationships, they can be understood and they can be comforted or they would be if they were real. There is so much more that is excused from characters with BPD but not from real people. I don’t ask to be like this, I’m ill. It doesn’t excuse my own behaviour and I still need to be held accountable but I am ill. I can’t feel the way you do and I have to understand all the weird things people without personality disorders do but people can’t just think about how things may affect me. It’s often like people are purposely trying to hurt me and I’m pretty sure they are. Another example is when people say about psychopaths or sociopaths, how they are attractive and how fictional murderers are cute and psychopathic. I understand murder is not okay, that’s just an extreme example. When I have no empathy or display symptoms from ASPD, I’m horrible, manipulative and I don’t deserve to live. Narcissism is used in the media to mean selfish and self-centred. Sometimes Narcissists can be the nicest people you will ever meet. Some HPD symptoms can be loved, such as hyper sexuality and over expressive emotions. But when they’re real, it’s horrible. We’re horrible people when we display these symptoms. We’re promiscuous, we use our body to get what we want. It’s not alright when actual people do it.
