Mental Illness Blog

♡♡♡ Blog to vent and keep track of resources for recovery ♡♡♡

[fawngcf]

intrusive thoughts

[fishchop]

i only have TWO modes

*shaking crying trembling, constantly reliving my trauma, yet somehow validating my traumatic experience as Truly Traumatic ™️*

“i don’t think?? it’s still affecting me?? to this day??? like i feel fine lol i don’t think it’s actually bothering me as much “

[disorderedperson]

[traumaticchild]

questions i cant answer

[ojibwa]

[disorderedperson]

i know i need to just ask for help, i need to tell people i feel like shit and that i need them instead of expecting them to notice that im falling behind in life again

but ive tried, ive tried asking before and it just feels like, im burdening them, shits hard for everyone right now, why do i deserve the help? i dont, i really just dont. thats it

i shouldnt ask for help because the response will just be "why are you doing this again?" or "i dont have time for this" and i wont get help ill just get my heart broken

im so scared of whatll happen if i admit to anyone that im not okay again

[who-peed-in-your-cheerios]

Maybe it's just me but if anyone in lockdown/isolation/quarantine etc is being triggered by traumatic inpatient memories or flashbacks, you are not alone.

No it's the not same situation but there are a LOT of similarities, the loss of freedom and control of your life to name one of them, and if your experience was traumatic then its going to cause a lot of difficult thoughts and feelings to surface. It's not stupid or invalid.

I know it's not something people around you are even aware might be/could he happening and it's such an unfair thing to have to deal with on top of everything. I don't know how to make it better, but just know that this is going to pass. You are not trapped. This situation, it's not forever.

[dearest1]

my immense self hatred VS my delusional god complex

[wallflovver]

sometimes i really scare myself with how angry i get over things. when my whole body is just vibrating and my throat is tight and i want to scream and cry or break something and i make myself sick to my stomach by holding everything inside. i would never ever hurt anybody else, but i’m afraid that one day i might take it out on myself when i don’t mean to.

[some-ed-transguy]

my review of the body i was given

★☆☆☆☆

[brushoflips]

[hellishbpd]

that bpd feel when you get an irrational and intense anger over a small dumb thing but it feels huge and the anger is just so Consuming

[nicoledollanganger]

it hurts why does it still hurt 

[disorderedperson]

im so sad and anxious right now but i feel like i dont deserve it

like i shouldnt allow myself to feel this way, because i didnt earn the right to having emotions about this stuff

i should be moving on and helping those who are actually struggling, who are actually affected by this

[myblissfulsuicide]

I’m trapped within a mind that wants to die and a heart that wants to stay alive

[tagtraumerin]

[iwontchangethissoon-deactivated]

People react to dissociation differently but these are some (not all) of the symptoms I get, usually not all at once but quite a few at a time!

Blurred/tunnel vision

Static in my vision

Forgetting who I am

Forgetting where I am

Uncontrolled movements (body jerks)

Seeing myself in 3rd person

Slurred speech

Incomprehensible speech

Age regression

Numb body

Tingles everywhere

Not able to feel pain

Not able to feel emotions

Getting stuck in my head

Body paralysis

Voices

Muffled sounds

Sounds that are too loud

Overly sensitive to touch

My hands look like they’re getting bigger

Not recognising myself in the mirror

Thinking I’m possessed

“I want to go home” even though I am home

The sky is falling

Everything is fake. The world is a film set

Colours so bright

Dull colours

Seeing through a fog

Forgetting body duties (eating, drinking, sleeping)

Just forget about hygiene

Dizzy

Scared

Panic

Confusion

Self harm

Who am I?

What am I doing? Why?!

Time is sloooooow

Time is happening all at once

Wait, that was last YEAR?!