disassociating my life away lol

[dissociation-plus]

can we talk about how difficult mental illnesses are to not only live with, but to get a diagnosis for and explain your pain to others when you’re so high functioning?!?

[dissociation-plus]

just when i thought i was finally getting somewhere with a proper diagnosis. my doctor and my mother agree that “ups and downs” downs are normal as long as they aren’t too low or too high”… well what the actual fuck do they think my psychologist, psychiatrist and myself are concerned abt?!

it’s fucking infuriating and honestly humiliating. idek why i’d fucking bother reaching out at all

[dissociation-plus]

weird to think that, only a few weeks ago, i couldn’t even fathom the idea of not being in a depressive episode. yet, here i am, in a normal (ish) state with hypomania just on the horizon. whooptido lol

[just-sad-vibes]

everytime anything goes wrong i get the overwhelming urge to just end it all and i dont understand why

[anxietyproblem]

[dissociation-plus]

i’m so over being labelled “crazy,” “dramatic” or simply being called a “drama queen.” most ESPECIALLY when i’m just pointing smth out in the calmest fashion. then they have the audacity to blame me for the problem and—boom—i’m a drama queen for fucking retaliating? like what the actual fuck?

[crookeddoll]

there needs to be done a research as to why every time someone with a mental illness has the "guts" to speak up they're called "aggressive" or "dramatic". my bet is that they can't admit they're wrong and so they have to use your mental illness against you when it doesn't even matter in the convo

[dissociation-plus]

yes, this!

[dissociation-plus]

i’m so over being labelled “crazy,” “dramatic” or simply being called a “drama queen.” most ESPECIALLY when i’m just pointing smth out in the calmest fashion. then they have the audacity to blame me for the problem and—boom—i’m a drama queen for fucking retaliating? like what the actual fuck?

[dissociation-plus]

the difficulty in getting a [mental health] diagnosis in order to receive the right treatment is insane… but it’s made even harder when the psych literally says “your symptoms aren’t clear-cut enough to make a proper diagnosis.”

like, um wHaT

[thoughtkick]

“I write to find out what I’m thinking.”

— Julia Alvarez

[unknown314998-deactivated202407]

This is not the life I imagined I’d be living. It hurts knowing I’ll never get this time back. Life is fucking cruel.

[borderlinexcrazy]

I hate being told "you'll survive" if this shit keeps happening death will be the least of my concern

[dissociation-plus]

if nothing is worth living for, why does everyone seem to act and pretend like it is?

the amount of times i’ve been told that “life is worth living” and “you just gotta find smth you’re passionate abt”… is insane. many ppl who say those things need to realise that it’s not like that for everyone.

just abt everything i love — and genuinely love and care for — is just not even worth it. like, yes, waterfalls are beautiful, so are bunnies. yes, i love my family so so much. yes, i love to write, sing and make music and more. and yes, i have a bucket list, and have many hopes, dreams and life goals.

…but none of it gives me any more of a reason or will to live. none of it makes me love life any more than i do — and even if it does, i just… don’t really care to be alive.

i don’t care if i don’t achieve any of my life goals and/or dreams. i don’t care if i have an entire list of things i wanna do before i “kick the bucket.” i love and care for my family, but ik they’ll be better off without me in the long run bc of all the issues i bring abt.

i just… don’t care for life.

P.S. i’m NOT looking for sympathy. all i want to point out is that even if someone has passions, dreams, goals, family, friends, etc… it isn’t always enough to make someone want to stay in this world or “love life” like others happen to! <3

[ruiningmylifesblog]

“It gets better I promise”

NO!!!!!!! IT!!!!!!! DOES!!!!! NOT!!!!!!!!!

[dissociation-plus]

i have no idea what to do with my life, nor do i have any passions, objectives, interests or hobbies all because i did not expect—nor plan—to be alive for this long smh

[terminally-unlikable]

Starting to think the younger version of me that thought I was gonna be dead by now was onto something cause this shit sucks

[dissociation-plus]

i am in sm mental and emotional pain most of the time.

but how can i tell any mental health/medical professionals that when i come off so quiet and/or shy to every- and anyone i barely know?

i can never disclose how i actually am, the symptoms i am presenting or even the pain i feel all bc i don’t look or act like those that “would actually have those feelings/symptoms”. what are those ppl supposed to look like, huh?

i just wish such professionals would stop for a moment, listen and take it all in. a lot could go unheard, missed, untreated and even mistreated if the patient isn’t properly listened to.

[dissociation-plus]

so sick of ppl taunting and taunting till i blow. like, is my pain really there for your fucking amusement? i think not.