ditzy's audhd blog

hello ! i post about my experiences as a low-mid support needs autistic teenager. i also have ADHD, dyscalculia, hypermobility issues, and a plethora of mental illnesses. they/them.

[ditzydoodiary]

autistic ramble about twilight sparkle because i love her sm and shes my fave autistic comfort character !!!

this took a really long time to make, and im really proud of it, so any reblogs/reshares would be appreciated ! especially if you like mlp !!

when people say she isnt autistic, i always find myself very surprised. i think to myself, have these people even watched the show??because yes, while the writers and lauren faust may not have intended for her to be explicitly autistic, she is very clearly portrayed that way, intentional or not. not to mention that lauren faust (creator of friendship is magic) has recently responded to a tweet saying that she thought pinkie pie being adhd was obvious; lauren faust has adhd herself, so its not surprising that so many of the mlp fim characters also posess many of the same traits as her. and i also raise the question; if she thought pinkie pie was obvious as having adhd, then why would twilight be any different?? she is very clearly autistic, but i dont think twilight's obvious neurodivergence has been addressed by lauren yet (unless im wrong of course, but i just haven't found anything about it when ive searched for it).

anywho, to list just a few of twilight's autistic traits:

- trouble socialising and making friends (this is literally the main plot point of the first few seasons and is even still present in the later seasons, so its not like this was just a one time thing). an example of this would be in the very first episode when twinkleshine, lemon hearts, and minuette invite her to moondancer's party; she awkwardly declines, saying that she needs to catch up on her studying instead. to this the other ponies say, "ugh, does that pony do anything except study? i think shes more interested in books than friends"

- she has a very obvious special interest in reading, books, research, and the study of pony magic. she indulges in these interests to such a level where she often loses track of time and stays awake all night, and often misses out on opportunities to socialise with her friends. when she cant indulge in them, she gets upset. this ties into finding comfort in routines, too.

- taking things literally (e.g: that part in "look before you sleep" where she takes rarity's statement about them getting warmer in regards to playing a game literally). look before you sleep is also a great episode showing her need to have everything planned out; in this episode, twilight has her first slumber party, and uses a slumber party planning book as a guide. she thinks has to follow every single instruction in the exact same order, and when rarity and applejack dont oblige, she gets upset.

- HEAVILY relies on schedules and planning. she utilises all kinds of lists; visual lists, written lists, checklists, etc. when she's unable to stick to her routines/plans, she becomes irrationally upset and/or angry, lashes out at other people and can have meltdowns. this is again shown all throughout the show, but is more prominent in the episode "lesson zero".

- LOVES organising, lining things up, and finding visual patterns in all sorts of things. she'll often just do this for fun and as a way to calm down, while others might find this more of a chore. i suppose this can be done as a form of visual stimming? I don't really know what this is called; but i know a lot of autistic people do it. i suppose this could also tie into needing routines and structure, as organising things can help autistic people feel more in control and can provide a sense of stability.

- she can often come off as insensitive or rude without meaning to, and sometimes she struggles with tone as well as being quite blunt. this is most likely due to her misunderstanding or being unable to read typical social cues. this could also perhaps be linked to low empathy, which is something a fair few individuals on the spectrum experience. this is especially true in the earlier seasons, but still shown in the later seasons as well.

- twilight also struggles with regulating her emotions and having meltdowns; this is typically the result of her needs not being properly met and her routines being changed. and when she's not having full blown meltdowns, she can at least be seen being snappy towards her friends when overwhelmed.

- stimming !!! oh boy does she stim a lot. stomping her hooves, jumping up and down, PACING (this is a big one), teleporting spontaneously when overwhelmed, flapping her wings, etc. in fact, twilight once paced so hard for so long that she made a groove in the floor without even realising !! (this was seen in the episode "its about time" - which is also a good episode that showcases her autistic traits)

- shes also sometimes shown struggling with overstimulation; in the third episode of the series, "the ticket master", twilight gets overwhelmed by her friends crowding around her and loudly shouting, resulting in her running off and snapping at them.

- shes often shown struggling with generalised anxiety, which is another common trait of autism.

and the best part is, this is obviously a common occurrence, and her friends fully support her through her struggles !!! her meltdowns, overthinking and anxiety are so frequent, that her friends know exactly what to do and how to help her.

obviously, this isn't every trait, this is just all the surface level stuff !!

i would have included more video and photo examples, but tumblr has a limit on how many you can add to a post :( i hope i still got my point across despite that !!

all in all, i think she's wonderful autistic representation !! even if this wasn't intentional, i still think it's great and love the way her personality and traits were portrayed. the main character of a children's show possessing these traits is awesome and something you don't see too often !! i hope lauren or at least someone on the production team talks about this, because it means a lot to myself and many other autistic people who love mlp <3

[ditzydoodiary]

this autistic horse is literally me

[kujokomi]

please stop associating the term neurodivergent with JUST autism and adhd. like please. there are so many ways to be neurodivergent and it’s not fair to assume that it’s just about autism adhd.

[yellowyarn]

i always see sensory avoidant autistic people talking about how their favourite foods are all plain carbs but where are the sensory seeking autistics who live on garlic and spicy foods? the ones who will eat a straight lemon and hate buttered noodles.

[gwydion-aacblog]

too tired with people to say in " nice " way .

R slur is slur . R slur was previously diagnosis , that become slur , because people so violent hate intellectual disability . is insult by compare to intellectual disability , because think intellectual disability worthless .

can not speak for literally all others with intellectual disability , no , but in general from what see and who talk to , very few people with intellectual disability actually want see this word , and often think not even worth take back .

so . be quiet about right to " take back " R slur with autism , with ADHD , with anything other than intellectual disability . many actual people with intellectual disability do not want this word to even exist anymore .

where other groups might have movements to take back words , intellectual disability movement is to remove that word . both movement types can be right - which one work better depend on group - and should respect .

so . honestly , just want people forget word even exist .

[the-blue-void]

When r slur is used against people without intellectual disability, they are saying “you’re just as bad as intellectual disabled people”, which is very very rude and fucked up, but doesn’t mean people without intellectually disabled can reclaim that slur

Only intellectually disabled people could reclaim the slur, in a sense of “we are this and we are proud”

Any other person that get compared to them cannot reclaim the slur, because that would be “yes we are as bad as intellectually disabled people and we are proud”, which is still bad because you are still hating intellectually disabled people

Especially most people who are “reclaiming” it aren’t even using it in a reclaim way. They are still using that as a slur.

Also when most intellectually disabled people don’t even want to it to exist, leave them the fuck alone

[ditzydoodiary]

my doctor said it's highly likely i have hyper mobile ehlers danlos syndrome. and my immediate reaction was oh !!! that's why i was hospitalised for joint pain/dislocation that one time lol

[a-sassy-bench]

breaking news disabled people aren't using their disabilities as an excuse because it turns out it isn't an excuse it's a state of fucking existence

and existence is everywhere all the time no matter what even if you wish it wasn't

.

[ditzydoodiary]

skill regression has been awful to deal with lately

went out to a shopping centre for the first time in a few months with my mum today. could not do it. started crying and having a meltdown 10 mins into us being there. usually i can manage a little bit for a certain period of time (even though it always usually ends in a meltdown anyway) if i have my mum with me (i can't leave the house by myself ever) but today was too much and even with her being there i got so overwhelmed and could not calm down no matter how hard i tried. everyone saw me crying and screaming and hitting myself. im embarrassed.

i have an event i have to attend on tuesday but i have no clothes to wear for it - which is why we intended on going shopping. feeling very stressed because I only have two days before it and i also happen to have a dentist appointment tomorrow (which i am dreading because they'll probably have to give me an injection so they can pull a tooth).

just been a very very overwhelming day :(

[zombblehh]

Shout out to the autistic who’s abilities have regressed as they’ve gotten older.

“You didn’t used to be like this when you were a kid.” I know please don’t remind me

[defectivegembrain]

I have had another autistic person tell me "it's not that loud" in the same dismissive way as neurotypicals while I was in pain

I have struggled to accept that this same person was actually autistic because he was so different from me and I hadn't learned better yet

I have had other autistic people not understand how I can be so very restricted in my interests and averse to change

I have believed in the past that I must be cold and emotionless because that's what the popular image of my diagnosis was

I have seen the posts saying autistic people don't really struggle with sarcasm or metaphors or empathy or social cues or managing special interests or or or

I have seen on the other hand autistic people dismiss others' autism because they don't find some things as hard

"Just find other autistic people" isn't some magical foolproof solution to loneliness and being misunderstood

[ditzydoodiary]

hi. i haven't posted for a while. i thought i was doing better for a few months but now im falling back into a very bad mental headspace so i might be more active. feeling very bad about my disabilities and mental health challenges lately. i can do barely anything for myself. i feel useless. im a senior in high school and ill be leaving school soon and i still don't have proper supports/accommodations. im terrified. ive trialled doing work experience at school but i just can't do it. i can't handle the responsibility and being in an overstimulating workplace. i started out doing 6 hours every day. but that was way too much so we reduced it to 3 hours a day and i still couldnt handle it. im glad the people at the place i was doing work experience at were so understanding and helpful but i just don't think i can do it anymore. it exhausts me so much and i hate it. most of my friends have access to proper supports with their disabilities and they can do so much more than i can. i feel jealous. i feel jealous of them and what they can do. i hate how restricted my interests are. i hate not being able to be interested in or like other things even if i try. i stick to the things ive been familiar with my whole life and thats honestly kind of it. and when i do end up branching out just a little bit (e.g watching a new movie I haven't watched before) it has to still fit under my special interests (kids cartoons and media in this case). i just feel really sad about it all and am honestly feeling quite alienated. i hate change. every little change bothers me; even changes that are supposed to be good. i am so very tired.

[jemineye]

i cant stress this enough, disabled people know their own limits. i fucking promise you. we are not being lazy or jerks because we won't do something YOU want us to do or something YOU THINK will make us feel better. it wont. stop.

[ohara-n-brown]

Saying 'You're not lazy if you want to do the thing. Choosing not to do it because you don't want to it's laziness-'

Still throws Autistic people with Pathological Demand Avoidance under the bus

Executive Dysfunction is not the end all be all and you are not better than others for 'wanting to do' the thing but being unable to.

There are many autistic people that find themselves unable to do something once their minds has decided that it's being forced to do an action.

Saying that if you don't want to do your homework or the chores or the laundry - then you are lazy - DOESN'T HELP

It's not that I want to shower but I can't get up. It's that I DON'T want to shower because I feel like I HAVE to or else I'll be ridiculed for not doing it.

It's something that helps me, but knowing I HAVE to do it today, and tomorrow, and the day after that, on end with no choice of my own - makes me genuinely want to avoid the act.

'if you were lazy you would be having fun' - that implies that if we ignore a challenging task we don't want to do in order to do something self soothing and fruitful we are lazy.

That it's a moral failing instead of a sign the person needs help starting, or motivating themselves, or understanding the task.

Of course if something is hard, or confusing, and time consuming - someone won't want to do it. ESPECIALLY if they're disabled.

Calling them lazy for that isn't okay. You're just throwing other disabled people under the bus.

You and your executive dysfunction are no better just because you 'want' to do the laundry but can't.

Or that you're not lazy but we are because you really really wish you could wash the dishes meanwhile I really really wish I could throw myself down a hole rather than complying with a forceful demand - no matter how small. Including someone asking me to wash the dishes.

We still have do those things just like people without PDA.

The only difference is we're still called lazy at every turn despite the fact that every demand feels like being held at gunpoint with no choice.

Just because you want to something doesn't make you 'not lazy'.

Laziness DOESN'T EXIST.

If you have PDA, and find it hard to do ANYTHING you don't want to do - I love you. You are not lazy. You're trying your best. Keep going.

CAN WE STOP WITH THE LAZY STUFF NOW

[ditzydoodiary]

dreading going to school and having to deal with people.... socialisation has been really hard lately because all i want to think and talk about are my special interests and hyperfixations. but i know people will think I'm weird if that's all i talk about. there's a bunch of new students in my class too, and they're really loud. me and my other autistic friend in my class always need time outside because it gets way too loud super easily

[spectrumlife99]

To all autistic people who have a "childish" special interest, or just happen to like something that is viewed as "childish" by everyone around you, I see you and feel you. Your interests are valid, there is nothing wrong with liking something geared towards children as an adult. Don't let people who tell you otherwise get you down, you should be free to like what you like, especially if it helps you through tough times.

Sincerely,

An autistic person in his 20s who still really likes Thomas the Tank Engine, and who would still really be into PAW Patrol if I hadn't developed a phobia of sirens

[aidlvx]

i think we should discuss "selfishness" when it comes to how allistic people view autistic people when they have meltdowns/sensory issues

if an autistic person is having/seconds away from a meltdown or sensory overload, it is not selfish for them to ask/expect for you to stop making certain noises or to help. and i'm sick of it being viewed as selfish.

yes, it can annoying for you to have to stop listening to your music, or to stop having your conversation, or to have to turn off lights, or to have to turn off a tv, or stopping doing anything potentially stimulating, but that's just a minor inconvenience for you. for the autistic person, your actions could make the situation 100x worse. it could ruin their day or week. hell, you could even send them into a month-long needed period to recover.

yes, autistic people should make sure they always have precautions to help themselves (communication cards, noise cancelling headphones, sunglasses, fidgets etc etc) but you can't expect an autistic person to be able to block out everything they need to and to be able to calm down alone with no help whatsoever.

i can't get my hands off my ears long enough to grab my noise cancelling headphones if you're still loudly having a conversation or playing loud music. i can't grab communication cards either. i'm just stuck there, unable to talk or do anything. just crying, hyperventilating and cupping my ears so much it hurts.

which is how meltdowns/sensory overloads can get "explosive" insanely quickly.

and i hate to say it, but by being around an autistic person, you are taking on the responsibility of helping them through a situation like this. especially if you are the family of an autistic person.

autistic people need help. just telling us to grab our precaution items isn't enough. i need people to put in an effort to help us. i need people to understand it isn't selfish to expect help with something we can't control.

it's not selfish for us to not want to experience more pain. it's selfish of you to expect us to do so for your convenience.

[ditzydoodiary]

being sick is the worst sensory experience ever