Djitch the Massive

@djitch

She/They. Late 20s. Culinary Advisor to The Council of Wizards aka Lunch-Wizard. Head Chef at the City of Tower's "LNANADCBAG". Recent graduate of CAUW, Major in Gastromancy, Minor in Gravomancy. Do not fear the rune-wyrm, she is my familure. She is old, a little deaf and mostly blind. I inherited her from Nana, she loves pets and belly rubs. Asks are open 🧙

5,775 posts

Posts

marzipanandminutiae

“you don’t like the proliferation of terms like Unalive outside of TikTok because you realize that you’re aging out of youth culture and it makes you uncomfortable!”

no I don’t like it because there’s something INCREDIBLY dystopian about being forced to soften terms for basic parts of the human experience like death and sex (and even more so terms for oppressed minorities- call me a “le-dollar sign-bian” and I will bite you) purely because advertisers and corporations demand it

stripedroseandsketchpads

The idea that young people are getting used to not being able to speak in public about sex, queerness etc without talking around censors, and see this as normal and not a problem, scares me tbh.

elliot-amy

chaotic muppets interview

unashamedly-enthusiastic

These are the words of puppeteers who should not be up this early

itsmedemibones

transfemininomenon

kermit & gonzo fuck live on air

grumfy

My dad was raised buddhist and when I watched bill and Ted with him he was like “these guys are unironically the most enlightened people on the planet. They are leaving Samsara for sure” and that man has never been more right about anything ever

asteroidtroglodyte

Some of y’all don’t know about Freedom Fries

asteroidtroglodyte

Ok so basically 9/11 happened and the USA invaded a different country than the one that attacked us and the government of France was like

You morons are invading the wrong country!

And the American Nationalists, both left and right, went absolutely rabid at the insinuation that we weren’t justified to go wherever we damn well please and “cancelled” France.

The option for julienned, fried, potatoes in the congressional cafeteria was renamed from “French Fries” to “Freedom Fries.” French Bulldog puppies were advertised in my neighborhood as “Liberty Pups.” French’s mustard made a public statement assuring customers the brand was based on a family name.

It was. Uh. Weird. To say the least.

I was… 13 or so at the time. I’ve never really been able to take my government seriously since. There’s been other stuff, obviously, but man did that leave an impression.

dnlrntr

it was especially funny because French fries aren't even French, they're Belgian

in other words, the US went after the wrong country AGAIN

yamujiburo

Pikachu comes around to Jessie rather quickly after realizing she’s not really a threat and finding out how good at head scratches she is (she has nice long nails)

wizardnuke

whats ur most traitorous body part

hands/wrists

elbows

shoulders

neck

upper back

lower back

hips

knees

ankles/feet

other (elaborate in tags)

Voting ended onMar 17, 2023

rb for a bigger sample size!

#my fucking bowels

first-sight-and-second-thoughts

Let's play Rock Paper Scissors!!! It's you up against the option with the most votes. Put in the tags whether you won, lost, or tied, but don't say anything about what you voted or what the current results are.

Ready? Now....

ROCK PAPER SCISSORS SHOOT!!!!

Rock 🪨

Paper 📃

Scissors ✂️

Voting ended onMar 17, 2023

#lost

thechekhov

if you think about it, every time we tranquilize animals to transport them safely to another place, we are the sleep paralysis demon

📹 IG : ohataku0716

oh holy shit

basically, i think the general rule of thumb is: if someone REALLY wants the blood that’s inside of your body, and they’re like… a vampire, or a dracula, or some sort of mansquito, then that’s probably okay. a dracula and a mansquito are made for removing things like blood and swords from inside your body. that’s basically fine.

if something wants to get at your blood, and they’re, say, some kind of murdersaurus, or maybe a really big frog, that’s where the problems start to arise. a really frog is not made for removing blood, and your blood knows this, which is why it is so vehement about wanting to stay IN your body instead of coming out.

unfortunately this will not deter a really big frog, because a really big frog is full of things like prizes, and value, and quite a lot of hatred, and it would REALLY rather like to replace any and all of those things with your blood, and basically by any means possible.

fidefortitude-deactivated202011

These words scan with a fantastic degree of confidence considering that together they make no sense at all

world heritage post

The @janmisali Number Tournament at the end of Round 3, with each winner coloured by the margin it won by

thecommunalfoolboy

Just found out about the humans are space orcs thing you all got going on here and I wanna know how many of u guys finally realized u think humans are so strange bc ur autistic