Hallo

27

[catchymemes]

MANIFESTING A GOOD JUNE MANIFESTING A GOOD JUNE MANIFESTING A GOOD JUNE MANIFESTING A GOOD JUNE MANIFESTING A GOOD JUNE MANIFESTING A GOOD JUNE MANIFESTING A GOOD JUNE MANIFESTING A GOOD JUNE MANIFESTING A GOOD JUNE MANIFESTING A GOOD JUNE MANIFESTING A GOOD JUNE MANIFESTING A GOOD JUNE

[botanyshitposts]

scientists in the 1990s, putting a Get More Purple gene attached to a harmless plant virus into an already purple petunia: please get more purple

the petunia, sensing an apparent honest to god Get More Purple Disease, using the previously undiscovered RNAi antiviral ability to shut down all other purple genes along with it just in case: you put VIRUS in petunia? you infect her with the More Purple?? oh! oh! her children shall bloom white! jail for mother, jail for mother for One Thousand Years!!!!

[flipocrite]

[clickityweasel]

[catboybiologist]

Btw the thing this discovered is like. A foundational lab technique now and has revolutionized genetics

[dreamycastaway]

The original pride flag and the sewing machine it was sewn on

[iwriterobots]

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Beck and Call 53

Warnings: This will include dark elements. Please do not read if these elements or any dark elements make you uncomfortable.

Character: Tommy Shelby, maid!reader

Summary: you’ve adapted to your employer’s moods, but you don’t realise how attached he’s become to you .

Please reblog if you enjoy and leave some feedback! Muah 💋

You trod around the pen, kick your boots up with each step. The noise of hooves follow at a pace, the snuff of nostrils at your nape. You look out at the trees in the distance. They remind you of home, of the forests where you and Oliver would gather nuts and twigs and mix them with mud to make your magic pudding.

You sigh and feel along the seams of your jacket. You miss your brother, you always were, but there’s new peace in the thought of him. There is honour in his memory.

“You’ve a gift for attracting beasts,” Mr. Shelby remarks.

You stop and Sergeant kicks at your heels as he does too. You turn as the horse nuzzles your cap. You touch his thick neck.

“He’s not a beast. He is only… a creature who reserves himself.” You stroke Sergeant’s short hair. “He does not hate people, only the chafe of a bridle.”

“Mm,” Shelby hums as he approaches. He rubs his gloved hands together. “Or he longs for the spring as I do.”

“I don’t mind the cold so much.” You say.

“Ah, you mustn’t. Or at least, you bear it well.” He comments.

You stare at him. You think his words carry more than one meaning.

“Is there something on your mind, Mr. Shelby?”

His brows flick as he stops close to you. “Mr. Shelby,” he echoes decisively.

“Husband,” you touch his sleeve.

He watches you. His lips part slightly as his forehead creases. He's measuring his words carefully. Before he can begin, there's a pinch at your elbow.

You face Sergeant as he raises his head and kicks his hooves. He shakes his mane and snorts. You back up and stare as the horse makes a small circle then bends his knees, lowering to his stomach before you.

Mr. Shelby steps up beside you and sighs. “It seems you've an even more demanding man than I at your beck and call.”

You laugh, “what a strange creature you are, Sergeant.”

“Do not leave him wanting. I know how you can have a man bound up in patience.” Shelby tuts. “Go on.”

You look at your husband.

“He's tossed a dozen different rides, myself included. Yet he welcomes you. I think he has made claim to his rider.” Shelby goads with the tilt of his hand. 

You near Sergeant. Gently, you touch his mane and back. The horse is immense even upon his stomach. Carefully, you lift your leg over him and settle on his bare back.

You cry out as he sets his hooves and stands with a jerk. You lean forward and hug his neck. Sergeant sets his posture and you sit up, squeezing with your thighs.

He begins a soft pace across the dirt. You laugh again as the rhythm fills you with delight. It is a soothing rock though a bit hard upon your bottom and thighs. You brace his shoulders and lean in to keep your balance.

“Another wild animal tamed, Hen,” Mr. Shelby calls after you.

🚬

You are as reluctant to leave the stable as Sergeant is to have you go. Still, you must. The day out was a welcome respite, unexpected too. Now, you are tired and the sky setting.

“Thank you, Mr. Shelby, that was lovely.” You say as you walk beside your husband.

“I should've brought you sooner. Well, some events delayed us,” he replies.

“It must be nice in the warmer weather.”

“It is. Lively. Flowers, gamblers, riders, and foaming pints all around.” He regales.

As you approach the car, you circle around and meet him at the driver's door. You pause and recoil as he gives you a keen look. His mouth twitches.

“Hen…”

You smile. “Apologies, I wasn't thinking…”

You avert your eyes guiltily. What would he think if he knew of your little lessons? You shift back on your heel.

“Should you like to drive? I could show you.” He offers as he taps the car with his knuckles.

“Me? Drive?” You feign surprise. “Well, is it safe, sir?”

He laughs. “I trust you, wife. You will keep us on the road. As you have thus far.”

He turns and opens the door. You hesitate but accept the invitation. You have this blooming in your chest. A bit of mischief. As you would feel as a child when you hid acorns in your father's pockets.

You settle into the seat and he closes the door. He comes around to the other side and slips in. As the door snaps shut you grab the wheel. He clears his throat.

“So yes, keep your hands on the wheel like that,” he points. “Turn where you want to go…”

Before he can continue his lesson, you turn the fuel valve and flip the spark. You turn the choke and press your foot down on the starter. The engine chugs to life as you smile and replace your left hand on the wheel.

“Hen?” Shelby utters. “How did you…”

You look at him and grin. His brows furrowed and you shift into gear. You pull away from the stables and follow the beaten road. You peer over the wheel as the tires spit up cold dirt.

“I'll only need you to tell me if I miss a turn,” you say.

“Hen? How?”

“I'm not entirely helpless, sir,” you shift again, picking up speed.

“Hen, you should slow down.”

“I've got my foot on the brake.”

“Yes, but are you engaging it?”

“I don't mean to stop.” You grin even bigger.

He braces the back of the seat and the door. “Hen…”

“Mr. Shelby, I am a rather capable driver.” You assure him. “And the road is clear.”

“What have you been up to?” He grits.

“Oh, don't worry so.” You chide.

“Wife, you are careless. Nonchalant. As never I've seen.”

“I rather enjoy to drive,” you shrug. I never saw a car before I came to Birmingham. I was afraid at first but I see now how fun they are.”

“Mm, certainly they are quite the invention. But as dangerous as they are useful.”

“Suppose if you don't know what you're doing.” You preen.

“Hen, are we in such a hurry –”

“You doubt me, Mr. Shelby.”

“Not at all.” He rocks with the momentum. “It is only my duty to keep you… safe.”

“Well, sir, you will find I am not to be doubted.”

You push your foot down and speed ahead. He gasps and grabs your arms. You twist the wheel as you pump the accelerator and the brake, cranking the wheel as you slice a circle with the wheels. Mr. Shelby hollers and reaches up to slap his hand against the roof.

He calls you by your proper name as he squeezes your arm. You cackles and bring the car to a stop in a cloud of dust. He falls back and gulps.

“Bloody hell, Hen, what are you about? Do you still seek to torture me?”

“Sir, this is no punishment. It is a touch of fun.” You set your sights and step down again. “Is that not what you've been seeking?”

“Christ,” he growls as you speed ahead. “Not quite what I had in mind.”

You beer around the curved road and slow as you come in sight of a farm truck. You pass patiently but as you go to rev, Mr. Shelby grabs your knee. He squeezes.

“Hen, stop.”

You sense the tension in his tone. You hate to push the mood too much. You let up your foot and engage the brake. You look at him.

He stares at you. You lift your brows innocently and pout. His blue eyes blaze as they search you.

You gasp as he frames your face and pulls you to him. He smothers you with a hungry kiss, pushing his tongue into your mouth as he snarls. He devours you as his fingers curl into your skull.

He releases you with a heave and sits back. His lips glisten as his spot clings to yours. You taste it as you puff out shallowly.

He runs his hand down his chest and lingers on his jacket where his cigarette case is nestled inside. He lets his palm fall down his stomach. “Get us home, Hen.”

[sentient-tent]

This is Tie, she is going to eat all of the notes

[sentient-tent]

reblog to feed her notes

[elodieunderglass]

How is she doing this

[kosmogrl]

how it feels when one of your hyperfixations comes back and stronger than ever

[ilynpilled]

how it feels when one of your hyperfixations comes back and stronger than ever

[pulim-v]

how it feels when one of your hyperfixations comes back and stronger than ever

[driftwoodsix]

still living with my parents as an adult is just like. i'm grateful to not have to pay for groceries. i have to get out of here. i'm grateful to have a roof over my head and not have to pay rent. i have to get out of here. i'm grateful to not have to worry about sending out endless job applications that all lead to nowhere. i have to get out of here. i'm grateful i'm grateful i'm so fucking grateful. i have to get out of here

[viria]

utter unawareness (Grimmauld Roommates AU)

[qcharlie]

please god watch this right now

[comicgeekscomicgeek]

You are not prepared for the number of places this goes

[sexycraisinthanos]

“AI art is okay if you’re just making shitposts”

Have you forgotten our roots

[damnbluewires]

reblogging this with my own masterpiece

[gothfoxx]

[anarchistmemedistro]

[ooppo]

I remember one time I got INSANELY high off of edibles while playing Among Us, and it quickly became apparent to the other players online. I forget how honestly but literally anything "sus" I did was ignored by everyone because I was so fucking high. I tested this theory by standing in front of a body and the person that actually reported it didn't even mention me. The funniest part was when I was trying to do wires, I kept fucking up over and over again, so I was just standing in front of wires for actual minutes trying to figure it out. A small crowd of players gathered around me to watch and would get mad every time someone reported a body or emergency meeting because "she's never going to get her tasks done if you keep interrupting them." I don't think anyone cared about winning at that point, they just wanted to see the high crew mate succeed in her tasks.

[the-infinite-casmos]

[ooppo]

THIS IS 1000% ACCURATE LMFAO. Thank you op

[ooppo]

Ohhhh yeah

[porcelain-rob0t]

the european mind cannot comprehend the 48 oz dunkin bucket

[derryderrydown]

Excuse me while I look something up...

1.4 litres????

[politenotice]

[interestingmistakes]

[shrexybetobridgett]

Im sorry, only 8 bucks???? Is this in pounds cause there is no coffee place around here that offers a drink a quarter that size less than 6 bucks

[miseria-fortes-viros]

this is the american dollar and a mere $4.27 is enough for a beautiful 32 ounce DUNKIN iced coffee thank you new england

[bugslibraryy]

Shane and Ilya being like fuck drunk together. Walk with me. They’ve been teasing and fooling around all day, fucked a few times and Ilya has edged Shane and the made him cum until he was cuming dry. They are both exhausted and fucking loopy from how good it feels, a bit loopy and sore and fuzzy but Ilya mentioned Ramen like two hours ago and now they both really can’t stop thinking about it and they are starving from marathon fucking and they don’t want to cook.

So they bundle up in sweats and hoodies, no underwear after the most rushed shower- Shane can still feel the slick of lube inside him and- and it’s late but there’s this one shop shane knows will still be open and he’s so hungry and Ilya is smiling so big in excitement for their ‘date’ (as he keeps calling it) so they go there.

They Sit in a corner booth, smushed in together on the same side shoulders over lapping all puffy mouthed and big eyed. The order far too much and Shane won’t let go if Ilya’s hand and Ilya keeps feeding Shane, and the noodles are hot and salty and fatty and so good and it’s messy and stupid but Shane smiles so big every time he does it, or raises his can of ginger ale to his lips for shane to sip. Shane is giggly and soft, fucked out with big sleepy blinks and he’s all loose and lovely and stuck to Ilya’s side and Ilya shoves his hand down the back of Shane’s sweats while the eat, thankful for his body as a shield. Ilya can’t stop smirking and he can still feel the burn of the nail marks Shane has left on his back under his hoodie when they kiss and kiss and kiss and giggle and Shane smirks when he spots his teeth marks under Ilya’s ear. Ilya makes a secret tunnel of their two hoodies, hands cupped to make it a little private pocket for them and kisses Shane with far too much tongue for outside of the house. Bites his swollen mouth and tells him so he’s so pretty snd good, his voice heavy and rumble Russian.

The tip the sweet ladies behind the counter far too much when they leave and Shane rubs his face against Ilya’s shoulder while they walk back to the car, hiding his yawns into the material

[bugslibraryy]

Hiii I’m baaack. Fuck drunk shaney- it’s his birthdayyy and all he’d asked for was the day with Ilya and sandwiches from their favourite deli for lunch. Ilya had made good on his husband’s birthday wishes, he and Shane had spent the whole morning together, a short run followed by a blow job followed by a hot shower and another orgasm and then tumbling into bed in favour of breakfast and another orgasm for Shane and then Ilya mumbling about maybe beating Shane’s record for his birthday and he’s joking but then Shane gets that pretty shine in his eye when he’s competitive and he just shrugs the little shit and then that’s kind what the day devolves into.

They stay mostly naked, tangled in sheets or on the couch, and they eat their fancy sandwiches in their backyard in the sun and drink a few beers and Shane falls asleep with his head in Ilya’s lap for a little while and then Ilya drifts too and then Shane wakes Ilya up with Ilya’s cock in his mouth and then Shane drags them inside because he won’t let Ilya fuck him outside (no matter how much Ilya pouts about it. And Ilya is a little in awe when Shane pushes him onto the couch to climb into his lap and ride him, to cum again, it looks like it aches a bit and makes shane shake a bit and Ilya loves him so fucking much- adores him, his competitive little sex fiend. His soulmate. They shower again and nap on the couch and watch a movie and Ilya slowly fucks Shane through it until he comes with a pitchy almost crying sound. Then Ilya makes him do it again with his fingers and then his mouth, eats him out slow and aching until a final dry orgasm that almost makes Shane scream, a small sob and tears are down his face. They cuddle and kiss and Ilya is tucking them safely in their bed ready to settle in for a while until he can order them whatever Shane wants on uber eats for dinner and go get Shane’s non sex presents to give him- but snuggles and love and the afterglow first, especially when he’s so proud of his Shane coming so much for him.

But after ten or so minutes of soft kisses and murmured praise and conversation, Shane picks his head up from Ilya’s chest and asks in a soft little voice “I wan cake” and Ilya’s heart is all fizzy Shane sounds so wrecked and Shane had told Ilya not to get him a cake because theyd do that when they went to his parents place tomorrow and David make his famous jam sponge. But now big blinking eyes Shane is asking for cake please Ilya and Ilya is going to get him 100 cakes. At least. Maybe a thousand incase. He kisses Shane’s pouty little mouth and nods, whispers “I’ll order us cake now sweetheart ok I’m sorry I didn’t get because this guy tells me Ilya no cake Ilya no cake soo grumpy” and Shane just whines and Ilya is going to Die he’s so pliant and cute and like an angry determined kitten and he frowns heavily and shakes his head “no. I wanna go and get cake from”

And his words drift, he licks his lips. “Um that came from you know that” and he yawns, his jaw clicks and Ilya holds his face in one hand. “Bakery we took the pikelets to last time” Ilya bites Shane’s cheek because he came up with the pikelet nickname and Shane uses it all the time and it’s part of what is theirs. And thankfully it’s not too late in the evening and Shane is insisting !! On them going to the bakery pleaseee Ilya and so they get dressed and Shane is like. Floaty. He’s a little bug tucked into Ilya’s side, heavy big eyes and dark flushed cheeks and blinks and he’s got a small shuffle to his walk that makes ilya smirk and Shane is so fucking giggly as Ilya get them to the car and the drives them. Shane plays with the strings of Ilya’s sweats the while drive there. Attaches himself into Ilya’s side with content yawn when they get out of the car.

They go in to collect the chocolate cake, it’s warm in the bakery and quiet and their hoods are up, poor and comfy and and Shane is leant back into Ilya, his back to Ilya’s chest and he’s swaying a little and pushing his ass back against Ilya and humming along to song that’s playing and and Ilya can’t stop smirking into the back of Shane’s head. Shane takes drawing in long happy content breaths. Sighing out and his mouth is swollen and Ilya can see his content smile in the reflection of the display case and He has to whisper to him “stay. Still” when Shane is being so squirmy and lovey it’s making him hard.

He what’s been hard many places he will not. Be hard in the bakery.

They get the cake and Shane is BEAMING and kisses Ilya cheek when he pays like they don’t have a shared account and he keep Ilya’s hand in his in his hoodie pocket the whole drive home and they eat the cake in bed !! Ilya can’t believe it, when Shane brings the cake box (and two large cloth napkins) and forks and he sits in Ilya’s lap, and Ilya stops him when he goes to dig in, sings a soft little happy birthday in Russian, the song his mother would sing for him and then share and lets Ilya feed him, sucks chocolate frosting off Ilya’s nose and chin and lips and brags about beating his record and Ilya loves him so badly his heart surely won’t make it.

[oliviawhen]

Job hunting in a hostile environment. ✨

[ominous-signs]

yeah.

[thenordroom]

IKEA Launches KRONÖREN: A New Solid Pine Storage Series | subscribe for weekly home tours

[charlesoberonn]

"Oh you had a plague? Come back to us when you had a World War, brand new unconventional weapons, and a new international order."

[charlesoberonn]

I apologize.

[noroquian]

[demareth]

insert that YOU chihuahua post where theyre being pinned down i cant for the life of me find it

[charlesoberonn]

This one?

[schwazombie]

[ruffboi-mags]

Oh, Charles. The hubris. Honey. You had to know this was a possibility. Why would you tempt Apollo like that.

[dzamie]

I love how we don't even need Apollo to be captioned, it's just "he's holding a dodgeball and looks Greek statue, of COURSE it's Apollo delivering the gift of prophecy unto unsuspecting tumblr users"

[nebulous-nebuli]

[sour-charity]

[blueelectivire]

Absolute fucking trainwreck of a post

[seven-very-hot-fish]

Oh gee I wonder why this is going around again

[zack-creeper]

Art

[the-doctor-and-the-asshole]

How. Interesting

[rainbow-dash-the-ultimate]

Absolute bog standard post

[oli-bird]

@charlesoberonn

How about now?

[charlesoberonn]

Still not as bad as 1910s and 1940s but definitely getting there

[demareth]