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@dontforgettobenerdy
I went to an interfaith training recently.
In related news, I found out that I am willing to tackle two rabbis, a priest, a pastor, and a Hindu leader to win in musical chairs.
#choosing to believe you decided that imams were out of your league To answer this tag, the priest actually got the imam out in the first round.
ilya and svetlana's physical comfort and affection with each other even outside of sex is very important to me, so i want it to continue after shane and ilya are together, with shane settling into it and working through his own jealousy/insecurity about svetlana because i think platonic physicality is very important and sweet
and because it offers the very funny idea of poor svetlana tucked away in the corner of the couch with ilya's head resting on her stomach and shane laying against ilya with his head on his shoulder, which aw. cuddle puddle. ilya getting to be touching his two most important people at the same time.
but also there is now a total of 400 pounds of hockey player standing between her and freedom if she needs to get up
*face slaps face slaps rousing them from a nap because yes yes so cute but she needs to pee so MOVE your giant selves*
au where shane doesn’t like casual hookups because he knows he needs a lot of aftercare and he doesn’t think he can ask a stranger to do that because he might be Too Much™️ but rose forces him to go out with her and he meets ilya at a bar and they end up going back to shane’s place to have sex and afterwards ilya can tell there’s something that’s bothering shane and ilya is afraid that he hurt him or that shane regrets it but shane ends up telling ilya that it’s because his brain does this annoying thing after sex sometimes and the only thing that really helps is being physically close to someone like lay on top of me and crush me close and he’s like thanks for having sex with me i understand if you have to go and ilya’s heart breaks a little for this guy he just met with these beautiful bambi eyes so he’s like lay down i will lay on top of you and crush you for as long as you want
(cottage- 2017 post-love confessions)
Shane is handing Ilya something. It looks like? a pair of shoes?
“Here,” Shane places the slipper things into ilya’s hands.
“What are these?” Ilya asks.
“Water shoes.”
“Why do I wear shoes in the water?”
“Because otherwise your feet will get muddy and sandy and touch rocks and seaweed and gross stuff,” Shane explains.
“So? I will just wash them. After.”
“But it feels yucky? On your toes?”
“I will be okay Hollander.” He hands the shoes back to him.
Shane looks extremely wary. “But what if you get a scratch on your foot from a rock or a zebra mussel?”
“Oh no, not a scratch,” Ilya says, voice dripping with sarcasm.
Shane makes his ‘disgruntled frown’ face, which of course makes Ilya’s heart go all mushy.
“Fine. I will wear the shoes. Give.”
Shane looks at him like he suspects Ilya is about to chuck the shoes into the lake, never to be seen again.
“Shane, moya lyubov,” Ilya tries. “I am going to wear these stupid water shoes for you so I do not get cuts. Give them to me.”
Shane gets this soft look in his eyes. “What does that mean? Moya Loo-Bof”
He butchers the pronunciation, but Ilya knows what he means. He didn’t necessarily mean for Russian the term of endearment to slip out, but it did, naturally. His entire face blushes red.
“My love,” he mumbles, scared, even after their confessions last night, that he’s spooked shane off.
It’s Shane’s turn to turn red at that, but he has a small smile on his face. “Put the shoes on, idiot,” he orders, affectionately.
late as always but happy pride! Pretty sure I fucked up Ilya's face, I'll fix it before I print this
Crucially #myshane plays to his twentieth season which is just long enough to have the experience of meeting Ottawa's new draft prospect, also named Shane, and to smile and jokingly say, "Hey nice name," and for the rookie to gulp and say, "Thank you sir I am named after you" and that makes Shane sit in his stall and stare at the floor between his skates for. Significantly too long to be healthy.
those funny erling haaland memes but with ilya rozanov because this type of humor is very ilya coded to me
It’s Fourth of July Eve so make sure to leave some milk and cookies out for Captain America
I THOUGHT AFTER FOUR YEARS YOU PEOPLE WOULD LET THIS DIE AND YET AGAIN I OPEN THIS CURSED APP TO FIND MORE NOTES ON THIS POST
Local sillies wreaking havoc at the community pool 💧☀️
(3/3 of my summer-Steddie pieces 😈)
i dont know how people live without eddie diaz
I took my little brother (autistic, mostly non verbal) out and he was using his voice keyboard to tell me something, and this little boy (maybe 4 or 5?) heard him and asked me "Is he a robot??" I tried to explain to him that no, he isn't a robot, he just communicates differently, but my darling brother was in the background max volume "I am robot I am robot I am robot I am robot"
My little brother insisted if I was going to post about him, he wanted a cut of the "profits". When I explained to him that Tumblr isn't monetized, and is pretty pointless, he and my older brother pointed out that he'd still be bringing me "fame and notoriety" if the post got "big". So we agreed, if the post hit 10k notes, which seemed extremely farfetched and silly at the time, I'd take my little brother out for sushi (his favorite food) and let him eat as much as he wants.
I guess God wanted the little robot to enjoy some sushi 🍣 🥲
to ME ryba is polydactyl (has extra toes) cus she was found by the harbor and ships cats used to be bred to have extra toes cus its thought to help with balance
shane DOES comment on this when he wants to fuck with ilya
*shane holding ryba's paw up to show off her bonus toes* "freak of nature"
*ilya, retrieving his beautiful perfect baby fish from evil daddy's clutches* "no! she is perfect!"
"mutant"
"BEAUTIFUL baby"
"built wrong"
"SHUT YOUR HATEFUL MOUTH"
meanwhile ryba is just. fully purring and being floppy and content as ilya tries to defend her perfection from mean, mean shane.
Turkey’s justice ministry is drafting legislation that would imprison people for publicly praising LGBT identity, criminalize same-sex engag
EXTRA INFO:
The Bill hasn't passed yet; however it is very likely. Turkey just shut down the social media accounts of LGBT+ organizations, and quietly banned/"made not possible to see" multiple dating apps for LGBT people such as Taimi. These are small steps leading up to this. Just less than a year ago the distribution of Estrogen was made ten times harder and hormone replacement therapy laws upped the transitioning age from 18 to 21. Please speak for us.
Here's some info that's a little more recent (April 2026):
The Observatory for the Protection of Human Rights Defenders, a partnership between the International Federation for Human Rights (FIDH)
myilya for those who believe
shane version
omg. Just finished penciling the first chapter of Check, Please! Year 5 🥹
Outdoor in sun perfec t place for president to do speech! Outdoor very warm very soft put old man on green lawn under sun. Put old man in warm sun. no problem ever in warm sun because good view and audience can see long speech. Nice podium outdoor sunny perfect place for old president can trust warm sun to give nice view to President good luck to President. friend sun.
what if Ilya had a cat the whole time he and Shane were hooking up? he accidentally adopted a stray cat and treats her like a princess. (I love anya but just go with me for an Ilya as a cat dad idea)
And there’s all this miscommunication because Ilya will occasionally mention her name/talks about her and Shane thinks that this is a real woman who is possibly a girlfriend. And he’s talking about a cat but somehow this comes across like he could be talking about a woman. So all this time, Shane thinks that Ilya and (insert name here of cat) are also friends with benefits but possibly more when in fact it’s just Ilya mentioning his cat.
So they get to the cottage and they declare they’re love and make their plan and then Ilya casually drops in “it will be a big move for (kitty) but she’ll be fine, I have a plan.”
and Shane is panicking and freaking out because what?! “I…don’t understand….”
“I will have to drive her when I move, I don’t want to take her on a plane.”
“Uh.”
“I have looked up, you know, taking them on planes and they need to go into the hold. I don’t want to do that.”
Shane is panicking and also really confused because why would a person go in the hold and -
“She will love you, I think. She doesn’t like many people but you will get on well.”
Shane is tearing up because he doesn’t know what the fuck is going on, “She’s coming to Canada?”
“Uh, yes, do you not understand how pets work Hollander? Of course, she is coming too.”
Shane takes a long moment to absorb his words and understand that this woman who he’s thought for years is very special to Ilya is in fact a pet of some sort. And so he’s kinda out of it.
Ilya doesn’t understand why Shane is being so weird, he’s not realised that he never said she was a cat.
“Wait. Are you…allergic to cats?”
Shane can’t help it, “She’s a cat?!” He realises a second too late, he’s never going to hear the end of this ever.
“Yes.” Ilya smirks, “Oh! I see. I forgot I never said who she was. Did you think this was a woman??”
“NO!”
GOD he found her because he was running by the harbor in boston one morning and found a little kitten who got tangled up in a fishing net near the docks, and so ilya stops his run to get her out, and she is obviously puffing herself up like an angry little cotton ball as if her little fluffy butt isn't TRAPPED, and ilya is amused and just, "wow wow, such an angry fish. you are shark, maybe?"
and she is littol and also damp and it's COLD, so he ends up taking her home with him and names her fish because he thinks he's funny, but significantly, he calls her fish in russian, which sounds like "RIH-ba," which to an english speaking ear just sounds like the name Reba with extra emphasis on the first syllable
and reba first comes up in conversation when ilya pauses to text his pet sitter at a hookup with shane, but shane can't see the conversation and just "what? you have something more important to do right now?" and ilya who was a little worried about leaving his kitten all alone is just half-distracted goes, "mm, i am checking up on my ryba. i think she might miss me."
and shane is SO instantly jealous and just, "reba?"
"yes, is her name. she is-ah-" and the word "kitten" escapes him in the moment, so he says, "kotenok, you know this word?"
and shane who DOES know this word but ONLY in the context of when ilya has called him it during sex (and thus thinks it's some dirty talk equivalent of "person i'm fucking," maybe) is now pissed but so flatly goes, "yeah, i know that one"
"she is very cute. you want to see picture?"
and shane is SO simmering mad about it just, "no, thanks." and ILYA thinks he's just mad that sex got disrupted for this, so he playfully tosses his phone away and just, "such a face, hollander. do not worry. i have attention for both of you."
and this is NOT welcome news to shane >:( but fine >:( whatever >:( he doesn't fucking care >:(
and ryba doesn't LOVE meeting people (she is the opposite of papa 😔), so one contributing factor to shane never going to ilya's house in all those years (at least from what he tells himself) is there's no point stressing ryba out for something that's SO casual. it's the reason hookups never go back to ilya's place with him. there is already a lady of the house, and she does not like company. and shane is JUST a hookup, obviously. there's no point in stressing his cat out for something SO casual.
and then on tuna meltdown day, ilya cleaned the house up to look nice so ryba's toys are all collected in her room (because she is the only child of a millionaire--of course she has her own room), and ryba goes to chill out under the guest bed until Strange New Person is gone. but what ilya conveys is, "you might see ryba. i am not sure. she does not like new people." and so shane is now also confused because what?? he's coming over here and someone else might also just show up??
"you're not worried about her telling anyone?"
and ilya just *amused look because he thinks this is a joke about their secrecy* "no, she is very discreet. is not a problem."
and shane would like to keep pushing, but he also doesn't know if ilya is making a joke or not, and he doesn't LOVE the idea of another random person just popping in on this VERY big secret.
"i mean, i'd rather she didn't know at all"
and ilya still thinks they're running a bit here and just, "ah, is sexier, yes? staying secret." *wink* because again! ILYA thinks they're talking about his cat!
and shane is a little reassured, but it does add to the day that like. WHO is this fucking reba person??? and WHY would rozanov even joke about her finding out?? is this a kink?? is this setting up for a threesome? is that why rozanov finally invited him to his house? so fucking reba can hop in bed with them?
like a big contributing factor to shane being so "what the FUCK" on tuna meltdown day is the misunderstanding that reba is actually ryba and is just currently hanging out under the guest bed upstairs playing with a spring toy while papa's whole fucking heart gets shattered in the living room.
WAIT NO OH MY GOD EVEN FUNNIER IDEA FOR SHANE LEARNING ABOUT RYBA:
she doesn't come up during the cottage because ilya is still thinking about the logistics of the move in terms of signing contracts/planning moving his stuff/etc., and obviously ryba is going to be going with him, but he'll just put a mental pin in it to look up the process because some countries have quarantine.
but ryba then. doesn't really come up. they're trying to just enjoy themselves at the cottage and ilya misses his fuzzy girl and doesn't want to dwell on missing his cat because he knows it's a LITTLE sappy and he IS happy to have this time with shane.
but this then means that shane stays over at ilya's house overnight for the first time in the new season and gets woken up to ryba at 2 am with the zoomies (shane got up to get water and didn't know to shut the door after to keep her out), so he wakes up to SOMETHING in the bed running around like a MANIAC and jumping around and even landing on his fucking FACE briefly?? what the FUCK is happening!!! ilya what the FUCK is in your house!!!
and ilya just *groggy but obviously knows this is just his cat* "is just ryba, hollander. don't worry. she will settle. rybochka, calm down. is time for sleeping."
and shane just?? reba set a fucking wild animal loose in your house???? WHAT??
and ilya just *now equally confused* what? does she have mouse or something?
??? you tell ME???? what the fuck kind of woman were you fucking?????
and ilya now *sitting up and turning the light on and gently tossing his cat to the end of the bed when she jumps on him at this sign that it's Time To Play* hollander, what the fuck are you talking about?? you think i am fucking other people???
and shane is now looking at this O.O wound up zoomies cat and making. some connections.
and the only reason ilya's instagram isn't FLOODED with pictures of ryba is that she is a supermodel and has her OWN account that ilya doesn't openly own because he doesn't want haters flooding his beautiful rybochka's photos with beef she has nothing to do with
she is too pretty for haters <3
significantly, shane does think ryba thinks they're in competition for ilya's attention because shane has not grown up around cats and finds her a little confusing anyway, and she also has just has a habit of. intense staring.
shane gets up to get some water and ryba is just sitting in the corner of the kitchen like
and shane is more unsettled by ilya's 8 pound cat than he will EVER admit to.
svetlana ends up taking care of ryba a lot when ilya is travelling (just stays over at his house since ryba knows her and doesn't like strangers), so it's an ongoing joke that they have shared custody of their child of a divorce, ryba, and no of COURSE shane isn't jealous when ilya and svetlana make jokes about getting back together in their fictional marriage for ryba's sake he just thinks it's FUNNY how-
oh MAN they have some people over (not a ton, but just like. a grill session.) and ilya realizes at some point that it's been a LONG time since he's seen shane and goes looking for him
and finds him hanging out on the floor in the guest room talking to ryba under the bed
"-used to hide in closets when i was little, so i get it. at least no one here is going to make you wear a stupid ass sweater-"
through the nature of how pet names devolve over time, the boston team ends up calling her robert which ilya sometimes ends up saying, too, because it's funny, which means shane has a double dose of jealousy before he knows about this cat because sometimes ilya ends up saying things like "no, i am excited to be done with roadie. robert is waiting for me."
which means shane thinks there is reba AND ALSO??? some fucko named ROBERT???
@nirby-wirby
ryba does adjust, but for the first several weeks she does immediately spooky arch when she crosses paths with anya as if she just. forgets that The Other Thing is still in the house. and she immediately deflates and chills.
but this does end up becoming a silent inside joke with ilya and shane where if they cross paths in the house they both arch their shoulders up at each other like ryba. before just. continuing on their way.
she is rybochka when ilya is telling her how cute and perfect she is, ryba under standard circumstances, robert when she's in trouble, and roast beef when shane wants to get on ilya's nerves
