Art doofus

Nix >21 they/them

[raizeprime]

IM LOSING MY MIND?? WHERE DID THE BREAD COME FROM. WHY IS IT SIDEWAYS. WHAT IS HAPPENING

[protokirby]

The way everyone just paused before just putting more tofu on XD

[cassierain]

[peachebo]

prequel of that post

[void0m]

ms paint study from 2021

[spaceyboiis]

how the hell

[lesbianshepard]

me: oh boy, a new DND campaign. I sure hope my silly character idea isn't too silly!

player1: I'm playing 3 raccoons in a trench coat. one has rabies.

player2: 18th century french nobleman who got isekaied into this dnd universe

player3: can I be a frog. And also know magic. As a frog.

me: oh no I haven't gone silly enough

[lesbianshepard]

we have obtained another silly weirdo (sentient ooze who is preaching its religion (the one god: the primordial ooze))

[lesbianshepard]

i am the only homosexual at the table and somehow I'm the one playing the straight man.

[lesbianshepard]

From the two sessions we had

Isekaied Frenchman is very obviously a vampire and hiding it poorly

Slime man privately confronted him on this. My character has figured it out but decided that he’s just gonna fuck with the dude until he decides he’s dangerous or not. This includes me handing him silver things and making pointed comments about how evil vampires are

Three of us had made our characters kleptomaniacs for different character reasons, so whenever something shiny is in the scene it’s honed in on by a raccoon, a giant slime blob, and a halfling

Haven’t been able to use it much, but I’m doing a bit where my character owes a LOT of money to “important and dangerous people” (his ex wife and her lawyer, for alimony) and it increases by 1k gold when’s ever someone asks how much he owes (the interest rate was in scientific notation)

Slime blob (described in both sight and taste as “Baja blast gone bad”) keeps leaving religious pamphlets in a language nobody can comprehend and keeps trying to preform slime based religious rites

Frenchman keeps trying to use Baja blast slime man secretions as deodorant

One of the raccoons is a chef who basically conducts anthropological studies of whatever culture the food is from, but he’s also nonverbal and communicates through snarling

The frog has done multiple bong hits

[lesbianshepard]

artist's rendition

[clonetrobed]

- A luxury you can’t live without? - A luxury I can’t live without? Coffee. I really like good coffee. - That’s not a luxury, you can get it anywhere. - …I like nice socks?

[aesopquarriman]

[id: gifs of larry king interviewing danny pudi. larry says, “that’s not a luxury, though. coffee and socks are not a luxury. danny says, “alright, give me a luxury. which - … what luxury should i have?“larry says, “a private plane.” danny says, a bit incredulously, “…. larry, i’m on ducktales.” end id]

[hearthburn]

Bear witness to the disconnect between a Boomer’s idea of luxury and a Millennial’s.

[ekjohnston]

“Larry, I’m on DuckTales” is something I enjoy saying when I suddenly find perspective.

[therobotwig]

One year ago today I posted this miniature The Batman photo I created using real lighting, figures foil for water and miniature sets. The flare sparks I illustrated in digitally everything else is real

[rosslynpaladin]

ART!

It's a PHOTO OF A TOY

the foil water IS freaking genius.

[6vcr]

art reveal 🤏

[foone]

I'm filling out forms for a doctor's appointment and they want me to list any family members who have had various conditions, like diabetes, various cancers, or if they've got "healthy".

apparently being healthy is a serious medical condition now

[foone]

also any form that asks you if you're sexually active and then wants to know what birth control you use should include "homosexuality", "no one involved has a uterus", "it's not that kind of sex" as options.

I mean if you're going to list 16 different methods you clearly are trying to be comprehensive, so lets not kid ourselves about what options are out there

[foone]

they list OCP as one of the birth control methods

HALT, SPERM. YOU MAY NOT PROCEED

[foone]

they also make me check which genders I've had sex with and only offer the vintage genders. come on, I'm not even binary, why are you assuming everyone I've had sex with can easily be slotted into a male or female box?

IT'S 2025, WE HAVE MORE SEXES AND GENDERS THAN THAT

[foone]

contraceptive method

* other, list here: [i only have sex with people who are already pregnant so it's not possible for me to get them more pregnant *shrug*]

[foone]

they have a section called "Social History - Other Factors" and give me various options, like:

military service

sleep concern (?)

exercise (are they asking if I have a history of exercise?)

bike helmet (???)

caffeine

[foone]

neurotypical fuckers are always like "autistic people have trouble following directions" and then hand me a form that asks if I have a history of bike helmet

[auyawolf]

well, do you?

[foone]

mind your own business, that's protected personal medical information

[ampervadasz]

[h-nry]

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

I can’t make pasta any more without mumbling to myself, “wet the drys… then dry the wets…”

[baggytrousers27]

[mumblingsage]

Wait, is this origin behind

[pocketss]

It was important to me that she puts emphasis on the TOK

[craske]

everyone BOARD THE TRAIN

[thebestoftumbling]

How to fast honk

[mythbuster1128]

[worldsendvalent1ne]

[allegedly-human]

Begging you to put the sound on

[that-one-creature]

tiny screams of amphibian rage.

[chicken-fluff-butts]

*slappy wattle noises*

[fuckyouasshole123-deactivated20]

haha just like cat

[durbikins]

funny noise

[toothydimwit]

cat login sound

[fuckyouasshole123-deactivated20]

haha just like chicken

[bob-belcher]

[pinbitch]

honestly what a fucking iconic response. obviously “hello my name is inigo montoya” is the fucking ultimate but we were all building up this confrontation, this fight, this moment right there alongside inigo who had been doing so for 20 (twenty) fucking years ~and in all that time did he ever think the count would just run away? ha lol no~ but then the count just fucking runs away. and yes it’s a moment of perfect comedic delivery/timing, but it’s also a classic moment of subversion in this movie that is so close to being perfect if not for westley’s shitty moustache (kudos to buttercup for still loving him even after she saw that). this film dances so delicately with fulfilling and subverting tropes and it’s moments like this that just exemplifies that

[baronfulmen]

It’s also a super reasonable move. Count Rugen just watched this guy kill like four guys so fast the first hadn’t finished falling down when the last one was stabbed. This dude is no joke, and now he’s like “Oh also this isn’t about the king, I’m specifically here to kill YOU” and here the Count is in just some random hallway and Inigo has a huge guy behind him as backup and… yeah, absolutely not. Fucking run.

And I think that’s a big part of what makes it so funny, it’s not just that he’s subverting your expectations it’s that this is legitimately also the smart thing to do.