dopefiend.blog

stay@home mama turned drug addict kickin the habit

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Sober Christmas!

Merry Christmas!!

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You Can Help

I’ve been in contact with these kids in Uganda for the past two years and helped raise $300 for them to stay in their home/orphanage and pay their rent when I first started video chatting with them and one of the young men who run the orphanage. They are again in need of help to stay in their home and prayers and donations to help them are greatly appreciated. I started a GoFundMe…

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AA Step 2 Part 1 & 2 Step Work

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AA Step 2 Part 3 & 4 Step Work

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AA Step 2 Part 3 & 4 Step Work

Step 2 Part 3: Ideas, emotions and attitudes from my addiction. I’m not the biggest fan of looking backward and am at peace with my past today. However, my sponsor asked me to complete a full page on this part and I am doing as I am suggested to do because she knows better how to stay sober than I do. I will still premise this by saying that I DO NOT REGRET NOR WOULD I CHANGE ANY of my past…

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AA Step 2 Part 1 & 2 Step Work

Step 2 Part 1: What my God/Higher Power is. Unconditionally loving of EVERY human being. My Higher Power (HP) started off as a waterfall/or mountain.Today 03-13-2023 and for the last short while (a couple years now) my HP is my best friend, Father, confidant, mentor, and I often refer to Him as TED but call Him God as well. I am a daughter of God and I’m finally letting him take the wheel in…

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AA Step 1 Step work

Step 1: 5 things that made my life unmanageable in my addiction. Using/drinking/altering my natural state of mind messes with/dupes my reality/I lose my sanity, my serenity, my brain. I didn’t/couldn’t do right for my daughters being “hidden” from me I was/am toxic for M and everyone in my life. Thinking I was a “functioning addict/alcoholic” Having no HP or at least a real honest…

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AA Step 1 - My Step Work

Step 1: 5 things that made my life unmanageable in my addiction. Using/drinking/altering my natural state of mind messes with/dupes my reality/I lose my sanity, my serenity, my brain. I didn’t/couldn’t do right for my daughters being “hidden” from me I was/am toxic for M and everyone in my life. Thinking I was a “functioning addict/alcoholic” Having no HP or at least a real honest…

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gratitude list

Before I got a sponsor or at least started actively working with her I knew enough about the program of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA)- of which I am a member and for me I have no issue breaking anonymity but I will ALWAYS respect the anonymity of others in the program -to get started working my steps right out of the gate. So I made a gratitude list (as I have done many times when I feel my life is…

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Gratitude List

Before I got a sponsor or at least started actively working with her I knew enough about the program of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA)- of which I am a member and for me I have no issue breaking anonymity but I will ALWAYS respect the anonymity of others in the program -to get started working my steps right out of the gate. So I made a gratitude list (as I have done many times when I feel my life is…

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Love and let live.

We only have control over ourselves, our thoughts, feelings, actions and reactions. What anyone thinks, feels, says about me is none of my business or my issue. People hurt people because they’re hurting. You could slap me in the face today and I will smile and tell you to have a good day. Everyone is going through their own shit that we know little/nothing about. Try to remember that when a…

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I Never Have to Use Again

For the first time in my life I am genuinely 100% sober. Since the age of 15 I started smoking pot, drinking on occasion.To be completely honest, as I try to consistently be, I hated smoking pot, still do when I have once in a blue moon over the past 20 years since those teenage days. So why did I? Cause it was what to do. And I, like I believe most of us if we’re honest with ourselves, was…

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Survival of the fittest or most duplicitous? I’ve heard it asked : What’s the point of having it all if you’ve got no one to share it with , but I wonder if those who truly have it all could trust those around them to be unmotivated by what they have anyway. I thought I would rather spend my life with my children and worry less or naught about having things. Turns out, though, when people can’t…

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Thin Blood

Oh snap! did I disappoint you, too? wait who are you, again? & why should I give a damn?oh yeah I remember… you have money and I didn’t fall in your line so you’re taking sides against me but see thats against us me and my girls when we trust-edhow could I not see…? all it takes it the not even lining up evenly, often nonsensical, always complete bullshit!renderings of a compulsive narcissist…

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Not Having Enough Time.

When we say we don’t have time to do certain things, we actually do. We just don’t place enough priority for them to be worthy of our time. Imagine having a plate of food. There’s only so much we can fit on the plate before it becomes full. To make room for a certain type […] +-Life Not Having Enough Time. Time takes time. My Bubbies @1 yo

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Unveiling (Published at The Writers Club)

Life is a masked ball,a disguise for cheats.Costumes always fall,exposing concrete.Some will want no endto their masquerade,comforts play pretend,truth makes them afraid. I too was a clown,living in a lie,till I heard the sounds,of my heartbeats cry.I made my life realfacing all I knew,I then learned to feelclearing all my views. Push all masks asideunveil […] Unveiling (Published at The Writers…

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My Main Mantras

My Main Mantras Mantras to memorize (modify to your own verbage/word style to make them easier to remember and be more true to you):Nobody’s perfect (or Pobody’s Nerfect from “the Good Place” television series)This too shall pass/No season [no darkness] lasts foreverTime takes time (it took me so much time to get to where I am at so I cannot expect thinsg to miraculously be better overnight)One…

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