#step work

[citadel310]

Finding God

I struggled... in my recovery... with finding God. Can't say i ever could find that stereo typical image... that.. sense of, oh, thats what god looks like. never ever. but, you know what. its weirding me out because things are happening to me. and i cant describe it. its not me, im not changing at all. if anything, im just.. accepting? understanding? changing my perception on things? having an open mind and being willing to just let go. so when it comes to the "12 steps of Alcoholic Anonymous" no, i never did do the steps at all! LOL but... i look at those steps... and without a sponsor i can work those steps in my own order, at my own pace... no ones forcing me to do anything but be willing... willingness to try... no one said healing would happen over night either. One day at a time... i hate that phrase.. but oddly enough from that stupid shit i'm still here... my purpose, is to serve. i found that answer in the bible. it told me, my purpose was to serve. or serve god? haha whatever it was i thought i had to join the fuckin navy. and i even SIGNED UP. but i never went... uhhh it was a summer camp thing... anyway... yeah. not doin that now no thanks im good.

but thats me rambling and going off what i was saying... sorry.

the bible. like im not christian or into the bible at all. i dont read that shit. and i call it shit because most of it is. its been passed down and transcribed and like bla bla bla

uhhh i believe in jesus.. that he existed. as a person. on earth. but thats all i gotta say about that.

just like i believe in ganesha too. and i believe in what others believe in...

if there are 1000s of gods in india, then they must exist? in some... uhh dimension... maybe the spirit realm? who knows?

like im not being closed minded at all!! the idea of heaven and hell scare the shit out of me.

so fuck reading the rest of the bible! i dont NEED to know EVERYTHING. i took from it what i was looking for. "ask and ye shall receive" like okayyyy whatever magic shit this is... like...

ive accepted.. alot... accept the things i cannot change. bla bla theres that damn serenity prayer again. the one i never said outloud in the meetings... but.. i hear it all around me...

like just accept it is what it is!! and being emotional about it, will never change a damn thing! straight up! so this is why i stopped crying when i broke up with my partner... im not alone... i have... spirit. with me. and shit. like...

todays been intense.. just saying...

im dumbfounded... by today... and its gonna drop to -28 with the windchill here tonight so im cold af too.

[nameetings]

Deep Step Work in Utah’s Rural NA Meetings Explained

WHY DEPTH BEATS ATTENDANCE Step work depth anchors recovery in Utah’s wide-open counties. Written inventories turn inspiration into daily habit, shielding newcomers when winter roads close or jobs end. TWO TEACHING STYLES - Didactic circles: read the Basic Text line by line, pause for definitions, assign homework. Clarity first. - Experiential circles: short prompts, immediate sharing, feelings first. Connection first. Most towns blend both so brains and hearts stay engaged. OPEN VS CLOSED MEETINGS Open rooms welcome family and professionals; the message stays broad and hopeful. Closed step sessions admit only addicts, guard anonymity, and push deeper honesty. Those nights spark the “aha” moments that reduce relapse. CHOOSING YOUR ROUTE Before a two-hour drive, study the meeting list and note tags like “4th-Step workshop” or “speaker marathon.” Build a week that balances challenge with support. TAKEAWAY Whether you ranch near Vernal or guide hikers in Moab, consistent, honest writing between meetings—not the meeting count itself—predicts who celebrates another clean winter.

[diseaseofthree]

“Our nervous system will upset mental balance and we will eventually die from lack of rest and nourishment”

[diseaseofthree]

“People drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol. The sensation is so elusive that, while they admit it is injurious, they cannot after a time differentiate the true from the false. To them, their alcoholic life seems the only normal one. They are restless, irritable and discontented, unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks-drinks which they see others taking with impunity. After they have succumbed to the desire again, as so many people do, and the phenomenon of craving develops, they pass through the well-known stages of a spree, emerging remorseful, with a firm resolution not to drink again. This is repeated over and over, and unless this person can experience an entire psychic change there is very little hope of their recovery.”

- The Doctor’s Opinion

[diseaseofthree]

I’m working with a new sponsor and she is having me read The Doctors Opinion, in the Big Book, once a day and then picking out a paragraph each day and finding similarities in The Little Red Books first chapter covering step one

I’m almost half way done with the month and have had to start listening to it in audio form because it kind of just reads like white noise at this point

[germ-t-ripper]

31AUG24 Breakfast with one of my favorite people.

[jeconstien]

Expectations when reading

Hello my name is Jacob and I’m a addict. My clean date is May 2, 2012. As I approach ten years of sobriety I am compelled by and confident in my recovery journey to begin to share my life’s experiences. My personal perception of my childhood, of active addiction, the depths and heights my addiction would take me to. Stories of Faith found in Christ and a rebirth as a person with integrity. I…

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[toostubborntostop-blog]

4th Step

Just started on it and I'm scared. It says in the Big Book and from countless others experiences that an under done 4th step will return you to drinking. I'm trying my best to be thorough.