The Place Where Your Dreams Are Doubled

I reblog a SMORGASBORD of things. There's a lot to this blog. 

[gin-juice-tonic]

[MAYBE THE TIME BABY HAD BAD VIBES]

[no-more-dead-dogs]

okay so i work in the deli of a grocery store, yeah? and today i got this guy who came up with his two twin children, around five years old. he walks up to the counter, carrying one kid in each arm, and loudly goes "oh, no, i forgot what i wanted!" and turns to the boy in his left arm and, in a perfect blues clues style voice, goes "caleb, do you remember what i wanted?" and the boy goes "half pound of yellow cheese!"

i, obviously, say "you've got it little sir!" and slice up half a pound of yellow american cheese, handing it to the little boy, who looks it over, nods, and tucks it in his lap.

then the man goes "well, we can't just have cheese on our sandwiches. but what else can we put on there?" and the little gurl in his other arm goes "half pound of ham!" so i nod and say "yes ma'am! what kind?" and she points at a random cut of turkey, so her father nods and says "like she said, honey ham!" i cut half a pound of honey ham, hand it to the little lady, she looks it over, nods and puts it in her lap.

then the man goes "now, what should we have for the side?" and the kids both simultaneously start cheering "macking cheese!!!" and the man spins on his heel and marches off, presumably to find the macking cheese.

later, the little boy comes wandering back to the counter while his father looks on and loudly and proudly proclaims that he wants to know where the mustard is. i point him to the correct aisle, he nods, says "thank you mister deli woman" and walks away.

[utopians]

stepped on a plum (overripe plum) (barefoot) it was on the driveway got out of the car and accidentally (didn't know it was there) stepped on the plum (warm) (on the ground) (it had fallen from the tree) barefoot (no shoes) wearing long pants (too long) (need to hem them) plum viscera got on them (the pants) unexpected plum on the driveway (hot plum) (97 degrees out) already super hungover (throwing up all morning) (should not have been driving at all) and I stepped out of the car (black car) (97 degrees out) and onto the plum (unexpected) (didn't know the plum was there) and it burst (plum nightmare on my only good pair of sweatpants) still we find ways to keep ourselves going from day to day

[utopians]

guess what post just got read aloud in poetry club tonite by an unknowing club member as I watched on in terror

[carbomcoco]

I am utterly captivated by this video series that Taryn Delanie and friends have been making on TikTok

[churrotowns]

the definition of aura

update: choose your fighter

[ducissatenebrarum]

Albert Watson, 1992

[socialistexan]

[socialistexan]

[were--ralph]

ENOUGH!!!

[nube-1-deactivated20210117]

[northofcorpis]

That fuckin smile at the end

[bettsplendens]

To the worried person in the comments: 

No, a hummingbird’s heart will not stop if it stops moving. You’re possibly thinking of Spoink, which is a Pokemon that supposedly powers its heart by bouncing, and as such can’t stop moving. Hummingbirds don’t sit often because they’re busy looking for food, but they can and do sit. The females sit on eggs in nests, after all, and they do have to sleep. 

[sindri42]

Fun fact: the leg muscles of a hummingbird are so stripped down to save on weight that they cannot walk. They can step sideways along a branch or other perch, but they cannot go forward without taking flight.

However they absolutely do stop moving. In fact, hummingbirds hibernate! Overnight. Instead of sleeping. Because if they tried to sleep like a normal animal their hyperactive metabolism would mean that they starve to death before breakfast.

Unrelated fun fact: the primary Aztec god of war would take on the form of a hummingbird, and the souls of the bravest warriors were said to turn into hummingbirds in order to join him after death, presumably because every hummingbird is approximately four grams of pure concentrated asskicking which fears no man nor beast and will gladly throw down with somebody seventeen thousand times their size if offended.

[ubercharge]

this is a really cool post and i love seeing such a small bird but reading “No, a hummingbird’s heart will not stop if it stops moving. You’re possibly thinking of Spoink” killed me 

[theycantstopthesignal]

I mean yeah man, what if?

[frot-cember-deactivated20241214]

if bridgerton got rid of all the lame british people and became a show about hunky orc boys making out it would be the greatest television of all time

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[demilypyro]

Why do you think your words can hurt me. I'm literally a hot girl with big boobs. I've already reached the pinnacle of existence

[hellsitegenetics]

String identified: t ca t . ' ta a t g t g . ' aa ac t ac tc

Closest match: Vibrio phage 1.187.O._10N.286.49.F1, partial genome Common name: Vibrionaceae-infecting bacteriophage

(image source)

[demilypyro]

What in the world is going on here

[sabertoothwalrus]

I swear to god raspberries get moldy so fuckin fast you just look at them wrong and they immediately go bad

[sabertoothwalrus]

2 for 1 sale of raspberries at the grocery store:

first pack: downed as soon as you got home

second pack: you only ate four out the pack the next day because you were trying not to be as much of a goblin and you want them to last longer except when you check it later that day half of them are covered in mold

[sabertoothwalrus]

wow,,,,, that’s so valid

[transarsonist]

Thank you berry farmer for your berry knowledge

[oxytocinatrocities]

Yet another comic about leaving the Mormon church that can be applied to a variety of things.

[inthereellife]

YALL! Our favorite Tumblr runner DID IT! He won gold!

If yall need a reminder Noah Lyles is this wonderful nerd

Noah Lyles won GOLD!

Noah Lyles is the Fastest Man!!!

[anais-ninja-bitch]

[omagpies]

posted a month ago on my patreon, original post by @turing-tested, @dog-on-it-tm, @khazel-t, @prettyboy-bigfoot, @rankeluck, @world-heritage-posts, @icecreamsavant, @yumiiiiiii, @jessbeinme15, @spacepaprika, @rat-on-fire, @thehottestmess, @vang0bus, @royal-random-the-yogurt-queen, @astraltrickster, @rubykgrant, @vaultoffaggotry, @adamsmasher, @cartoondog, and @unstablebill can be found here

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[charl0ttan]

What's the earliest year you listen to music from?

2024

2023

2022

2021

2020

2019

2018

2017

2016

2015

2014

before 2014

Voting ended onAug 10, 2024

[monstrousgourmandizingcats]

#sometimes the way someone sets up a poll tells you that they look at the world VERY differently than you do#VERY differently#like#i can't even make sense of this#literally who thinks about music this way?#no offense op#i just cannot relate

(from @queenofattolia)

[mysteryteacup]

I have literally listened to an attempt to reproduce the oldest music in human history. Of which we only have a fragment.

Even if listening to music by year made any sense, what the heck is with this assuming most people will pick sometime in the last decade shite?

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

please please please please reblog if you’re a writer and have at some point felt like your writing is getting worse. I need to know if I’m the only one who’s struggling with these thoughts