imagine if tom hiddleston was your divorce lawyer

just some lad

[eroscestlavie]

when you’re a gay lion and you accidentally tried to introduce your lesbian lioness friend to one of her own exes at a gay bar and she goes into the bathroom and bitches you out for not being able to tell her endlessly rotating cast of girlfriends apart which isn’t really fair because first of all they all keep dyeing their hair different colors and second of all she keeps getting back together with different ones at different times and meanwhile you’ve been “single” for like 8 months but are spending a lot of time with one specific guy who works at your old co-op and were going to excitedly tell her about it tonight but now you’ve ruined the whole subject of dating by trying to introduce her to her own ex at a gay bar (which is a watering hole. because you’re lions.) 

[unstablebill]

Happy pride ❤️

[victusinveritas]

[revizyonist]

med people are so annoying "This family's 8 year old child who was about to go through a major surgery and kept crying that she was hungry so they pitied her and gave her food, she then had a heart attack in the surgery. They're so stupid 😒" girl they didn't know that could happen or why it happens. it takes so little time to explain to them that will happen instead of telling them "no food" with no explanation 10 times

[revizyonist]

"Before surgery, your body’s reflexes that protect your airway are relaxed by anesthesia. If there’s food or liquid in your stomach, it will near certainly come back up and go into your lungs, which can cause choking, a severe lung / heart infection or even a heart attack. That’s called aspiration, and it is life-threatening. It's hard, but it's only a single day to prevent near certain death. Not eating or drinking beforehand massively lowers the risk and helps prevent these life threatening situations under anesthesia." <- TIP: patients have brains which allows them to receive information just like you

[ancelineonline]

I have four kids. I’ve had one or another of them need some kind of surgical procedure that requires anesthesia four or five times over the past 15 years.

This Tumblr post is the first time someone has explained to me *why* I couldn’t feed them before those instances.

I’m not stupid. I understood that just fine. Hell, my kids would have understood that just fine. But no one bothered to tell us.

[bowditch]

i did know this before having kids (i have six). we have a kid that's needed multiple procedures requiring anesthesia. and every single time, i am asked multiple times if i'm sure he was not given any food or water after a certain point.

every single time i have had to say, "i understand that if he had food or water, he could aspirate it into his lungs under anesthesia. i am not lying to you." THEN someone would make a little note and i would stop being repeatedly asked.

not a single time was that risk explained to me. the only reason it came up was because i already knew. i still don't understand why it isn't standard pre-op counseling or pre-op check information, when me as a parent acknowledging the actual risk also put THE MEDICAL STAFF at ease because i conveyed that i had informed understanding as reason to not lie about giving my kid food.

"maybe some people will get nervous and refuse surgery" okay so they need more counseling about risks and anxiety, not less information in a way that actually does endanger their child or themselves!

[orpheuslament]

im the person they keep adding gratuitous & unnecessary violence & sex in movies for. im running every studio executive ragged asking for even more cock & gore in cinema they simply cant keep up

[calebwittebane]

but actually genuinely why is the ant sad and leaving with a bindle

[calebwittebane]

thats probably it...

[mutationgirl]

(having a good week) that’s right. the goal is to increase my baseline. make the spirals shallower until they spin lazily on the surface of the water, lose their suction. im not trying to fix it all at once, im trying to incrementally improve my way into something tolerable. and once im there maybe i can shoot for good

(having a bad week) and in my terrible forge i will temper the flames of ruin

[toskarin]

[aokozaki]

Stop posting Eerie Gromit.

[toskarin]

[were--ralph]

always odd when i make a post and other people start flirting with each other on it

[were--ralph]

its like i finally get what she meant when she said "right in front of my salad?"

[fuckmaster-unlimited]

your humorous post has delighted me. i will now absorb it into my dark crystal

[wifegideonnav]

“bits to use in everyday conversations”

[cryptotheism]

I sit alone in an unfurnished room for several hours, locked in meditation. After several days of silence, my eyes snap open.

"I just passed the Bechdel Test"

[datadegroove-deactivated2026042]

[unintentionalpenis]

[twinkee]

Delivered in discreet packaging my ass.

[wizardshark]

hey whats with that sign

[thisshitaintnothintomeman]

ive fucked things you cant find on google. ill google things you cant find on google and fuck my computer's disc drive while lookin at the "no results" page. ill fuck just about anything son

[overclockedopossum]

If you tell neurodivergent people they need to "get comfortable with being uncomfortable" I am putting gravel in your shoes. No you can't take the gravel out. You have to deal with it. Dealing with it makes you a better person. What do you mean "pointless suffering".

[2-beadyeyes-deactivated20251104]

[oysters-aint-for-me]

btw i’ve never seen pacific rim but i had a dream last night that there was a new pacific rim movie and the kaiju and the big robots were fighting and there were all these gratuitous shots of them stepping directly on cybertrucks with the drivers still inside them and in an interview guillermo del toro said that those were his favorite shots in the entire movie

[free-my-mindd]

Y’all don’t ignore people enough. That’s why you stressed out.