DRAWERERER

My name is Gretel and I draw awful awful inept shitty drawings. I find it especially difficult to draw things in a way where they don't have pointy faces and really terrible legs. Nothing will ever have symmetry.

[drawererer]

STILL still (here)

I’m still here, I got a poke the other day in my email saying LOOK AT THIS DRAW YOU DID THREE YEARS AGO and I realised I have had this draw land for that long and that the amount have done in that time is not nearly not nearly enough. So now is 2017, which is a whole new year which I have decided to chomp. IN THE SPIRIT OF THE CHOMPING OF YEARS here are some chomps.

It’s a crocadiliooohhhh a crocadoooo. A crocameep.

They are so nice, I like it when they have good round bellies that touch and stroke the ground when they walk. And I LIKE creatures and beings that on land are all stomp stomp and then like slink into water and suddenly TRANSFORM INTO THE STREAMLINED swoopy magic.

This crocadoo looks like it is doing such a smile for camera.

This is a depiction of a real life crocadilly but it looks a bit like the puppet ones in old seaside puppety shows. That eats sausages and babies. This one would never chomp either of those things though. It doesn’t know what it should chomp, it is unsure. How to chomp, Checks, can chomp?

This crocamoo is quite DEMANDING, it is reclining on the water shore and being like WHERE THE FOODS WHERE MY CHOMP and I drew that mouse so bad but I really liked the unseen crocadoo claws holding it passing to it, who do them claws belong from? Where did they get that mouse? Do crocadoo’s really eat mouses? I feel like no? I feel like, also, DON’T BE AFRAID because that mouse is definitely going to escape and run little rings and roads all over the crocadilly and it is not going to be able to catch it, will tire itself out, then the mouse will sit on it’s head and do quite a satisfied squook.

[drawererer]

She adventures

OH HELLO IT’S ME

I am here.

Been in absent ways as work and work and work. But soon I am changing jobs and very much hope new job will leave me with more brain and more time for creative ways including the DRAWING of the bad draws. Drawererererrrrings.

In the means time I have done some small draws and lately they are ALL of Byrd Lady who I think you know have met before in one of those posts down there before.

I WANT TO MAKE A COMIC WITH HER IN SO MUCH.

Her clothes are kind of a big folded wings smock and her hands just emerge from bits of it randomly and there are pockets in it all over and sometimes it opens big like an umbrella.

Sometimes she gets quite sad and then it rains. Then she gets wet and gets even more sad. Then it rains more. Sometimes when she needs to she curls up and just be’s in a sort of puddle and accepts the rain, then when it slowly stops she does a big shake off and runs and flies and feels a bit new.

I REALLY LIKE THE IDEA of someone being part bird and part human. SHE HAS bird legs real actual bird legs but she WEARS a cardboard cone bird beak. She both is a thing and then dresses as an idea of that thing. And I am fascinated by that and want to explore. The being and the performing.

She makes me happy.

[drawererer]

postal services

hello. HELLO. I have been making post for people as it is one of my favourite things. I maded a post for someone and then I did this draw on the envelope which I think can agree very aptly illustrates how the postal system functions.

First you make the letter and then wait patiently for the cogs to do a turn, or wait until it is time to turn the handle.

Pegging the letters onto the pulley wire is not always very easy. BUT YOU CAN DO IT. But also be careful not to fall off the edge of the cliff.

LOOK AT YOU. You are doing post, well done, and well done also to the postal system. IT works good.

You may be wondering what exactly the stamps are for BUT THAT IS INFORMATION FOR ANOTHER TIME, I give you that. Another time. Because it’s complex. Very. Complex. And involves Queens.

I very much want to make a little animation of this, even just with the little envelope shifty shifting along the wire. Just that. Maybe. Hmmm.

[drawererer]

newwwwwprojecting

HELLO. hello.

I have am being starting a newwww project and have been doing little planning sketches.

In case you DON’T UNDERSTAND THAT PICTURE she is wearing a big beak cone round her face/nose and it is held onto her face with elastic. And she has big cape wings thing (her arms are underneath, this is cape closed). ALL THAT SORT OF implies it is costume but then weirdly she ACTUALLY HAS BIRD LEGS.

Here was some doodly sketches and tiny draw of CROW MAN with super long spike beak that in one of the stories is going to do a block out of the sun with his wings. All the characters in story will be mix of bird/human anatomy. SOME OF THEM WILL JUST LOOK like birds but then with incongruous BIG HUMAN FEETS.

That one long pointy oblong was not part of it it was there because I was trying to explain to someone what a bone paper folder is or a letter opener is.

THIS IS HER TREE. It has some left over magic in it and occasionally little things needed things grow in it and also it has left over very old wintermas ornaments in it from when it was first decorated when Birdlady was small. Birdlady does not actually like christmas but VERY MUCH BADLY wanted to rescue tree that was going to be thrown away, so she did a plant of it and then one day she did a live in it, a live together in it with it.

SHE SLEEPS IN A LUMP PILE AND DOESN’T EVEN CARE IF MONSTERS TOUCH HER FEET.

[drawererer]

HODGEheg

HELLO.

I DO EXIST I REALLY DO.

DO.

I saw a picture of a really upset elephant the other day, it was AGHAST. Have never seen such an aghast elephant. But this post is not about elephants, it is about hodgehegs. Because I drew some accidentally the other day at work and then it occurred to me I could actually post them here.

BEHOLD the hodge(heg)

This one has a super long face and that makes it remind me of some troll things in a book I had when I was little. THEY had long faces and erratic hairs. Now it is going to bother me, I can see picture of them trolls in my head but can’t remember wheeeere. This hodgeheg looks like it is resting on it’s back legs and is doing a bit of a beseech with it’s front legs. Like maybe it is beseeching about how it can’t roll up in ball alice in wonderland croquet style because it’s face is too long big. Could be.

This is one is more reasonable ratio face and cutesy poot. It is making a sort of clicky sucking popping sound with it’s little mouth while it thinks about stuff and sits on it’s back legs. Like how pigs sit down, YOU KNOW, they lay their back legs down and then perch on their front ones and it is a tiny bit upsetting because pigs are upsetting and they scream. So.

This cutesy hodgeheg is just thinking about EVERYTHING, just, you know, EVERYTHING. EVER. How it is tiny atoms existing in time and how everything is everything all at once and nothing as well. Also it is thinking about tinfoil.

hodgehodgehodgehodgehodgehodgehodgeHEG.

I AM BACK.

[drawererer]

frogs that are dissatisfied

I have not updated in a really long time but I want to need to start again.

While I make some more draws and photograph ones done HERE ARE TWO FROGS. They are really just not pleased at all. Really, really glum.

It is not moving. It is being very still. It maybe does not want to move again ever. Maybe another frog will come nudge food at it's mouth and it will just be like. No.

Either this is another glum frog or it is just the same first frog but turned towards you because it feels you should know exactly how glum it is so it does a stare into your eyes.

There. Now you are knowing.

[drawererer]

orma mabel

This is Orma Mabel Bub.

I do not know her story.

I do not know what the sun did.

BUT I WILL FIND OUT.

p.s etymologies lesson belows

(Italian)

Noun

orma f ‎(plural orme)

footprint

track, spoor

trace, mark

(Icelandic)

orma

accusative plural of ormur

genitive plural of ormur

Noun

ormur m ‎(genitive singular orms, nominative plural ormar)

worm (e.g. earthworm)

(folklore, mythology) serpent, snake

[drawererer]

some meese more meese

i am trying to draw every day (it did not happen today as when i got home i got into bed and read my book and i have only just stopped reading my book to pry myself downstairs to put food in my face and make food for tomorrow packed lunch. IT WAS HARD TO DO BECAUSE a) i am very tired and b) my book is near it’s end but in the moment of perils and when i stop when is it at that place i feel like i am LEAVING ALL THE CHARACTERS TRAPPED IN THE MOMENT OF PERIL frozen until i come back. it is very tense.)

BUT I AM TALKING TO YOUS and that counts as part of the draw. pantheon. of activities. and i will show you some of my draws from the other day.

ONE. this squirrel is giving this mouse some cheese because it thinks that is what it wants because it thinks that is how mice are because it has not actually met any mice. and that is what it was told. but this mouse is a vegan, and now it doesn’t know what to do because it is the first squirrel it has met and the squirrel is trying to be kind but it is the wrong kind of kind. and so it is all very hard.

GIFTS YOU DO NOT WISHED TO BE GIVED.

this is another mouse (though it might be the same mouse but it isn’t) and it is dealing with whatever situation it is in by not moving and thus becoming VERY VERY STILL and therefore invisible.

maybe it did a scuttle first. scuttle scuttle scuttle scuttle still. scuttle scuttle still. maybe there is a dinner party of 4 humans and it has just run out into the middle of the floor during the desserts and the humans are looking at it and it is in the middle of the floor but IT IS VERY STILL SO THEY CANNOT SEE IT because it is being invisible.

[drawererer]

sad tortoise face

HELLO. it has been a very long time.

This is because I have not been great and found it hard to draw a happy thing and put happiness into it but then I realised that the drawings MAKE happy and put the happy into ME so actually. I had got it all wrong. And it is time to draws again.

This is the last thing I drew WHICH I FEELS WELL CONVEYS MY FEELINGS. There are not many things sadder than a sad tortoise. Especially considering guess what the other day I saw a video of a tortoise that was 185 years old and it looked pretty sad AND IMAGINE HOW IMMENSE AND SAD THE SADNESS OF A 185 YEAR OLD TORTOISE IS. It has seen many things. What things in all those things moved it to the sad.

Who can say.

This tortoise is not that old. It is only 10 or something. It’s just sad because it feels a bit bads probably. Maybe it’s not very good at hibernating and it feels it should be. Who can say. It won’t tell. So it’s hard. To know. Maybe it doesn’t like it’s tail and even though it can’t really see it it bothers it. Knowing it is there. Knowing others can see it. Maybe it doesn’t like that it has a weird shell skeleton and it’s fleshy bits are joined onto it’s bony bits and everyone can touch both. Unless it hides, maybe that is why they can hide.

[drawererer]

luck lick luck

I have not had as much draw time last week but I DID DO THIS ONE DRAWer which my friend very good wondrous Sofia face asked for.

It is a platypus,  it is a platypus experiencing extreme beginner’s luck at gin rummy. Look how happy it is. It is like, I am going to play this every day now. Or, I will never play it again so I can always have won. Or every day. Or never again.

Sofia said it spends it’s winnings on polo mints, and I can believe that to be true.

[drawererer]

be gone long one

I did an ask of people that they tell me what to draw and my friend Natalie (that asked me to draw seahorses before) told me to draw FERRETS. I have drawn ferrets a long long time ago when I was first doing the bad draws but it was time to revisit their long and bendy wiggle ways.

OH HELLO little weasel-y looking long thing. You appear to have a sort of hump in the middle, like a bridge. A bridge from your front to your end. And still little legs that could only be used for inept scrabbling.

Because this bridge does not show your end it could GO ANYWHERE it could be anything. You could have a mermaid tail at the end of your bendy-ness, or long spider legs OR ANYTHING. Or maybe the longness just goes on and on, into space, into outer space, like an excellent length of space noodle. Noodling through the ever.

This one has whiskers that seem to have exploded off in shock and left and lefted the face, gone off somewhere else on some whisker business. To make wishes out of cakes and stars. That is the business of whiskers. Also this back end is very bad, sometimes my hand gets distracted by the time I get to the back halves of things. And then my hand just goes THAT WILL DO, THAT IS APPROXIMATE, IT IS CLEAR FROM THE FRONT WHAT IT IS. IT IS FINE. But if it tried to walk on it's afterthoughted back legs it would find it very hard I think, it would be a sort of side to side tottering.

This one has gone all up at the front very alert. You are probably eating something it wants or wants to investigate. It wants to know what is happening. It can be alert while you sleep if you want and it will always know what is happening and keep an alert eye on it and if you need it or the happening needs it it can swiftly dart to wherever it's needed and wrap around it so it's encircling the need entirely until it's nose touches it's tail and things are complete and contained.

Again with the back leg side to side tip toe tottering. But also with patchy face and nice white belly. This one is sneaky and wraps itself while you are out at a party and pretends to be a sort of stole and then when people are rude to you it bites their fingers and then pretends it is not alives SO IT COULDN'T HAVE BIT THE FINGERS but it did and it will do it again. And then it sleeps on the pillow next to you. And it twitches in it's sleep.

[drawererer]

sleep

It is true, lately this is true, and if I was a squirrel and another squirrel was holding and reading fairy tales probably it would help.

[drawererer]

they play horses

I drewed this person. They are called Bastian.

and then i drewed this horse. The horse is called Bede.

And then I drewed this person. They are called Armand.

Bede is not an alive horse. Bede is made up of Bastian and Armand. Armand is the head and Bastian is the back behind half. They dress up as Bede in their Bede horse costume and travel around the France countryside doing performances under the name 'Bede the Magical History Horse'. As Bede they dance elegant horse dances and mimes that tell of great battles in European history. It has been known to make peoples fall in love, it has been known to make peoples cry, it has been known to make peoples faint. Bede is a very beautiful dancer. When they are not being Bede, Armand and Bastian sleep curled up like spoons in their van, sometimes they visit museums and sometimes they eat noodles.

[drawererer]

you you i

I drewed myself, I am not sure I have really drewed myself before. I am doing better at seeing myself lately. It is nice, and being kind soft to self. So much has changed in the last few months, one bigly of which is the being unexpectedly single sudden. But I am finding it is a good thing, the human single unit. I am liking being me with me. And having more time to carve out my life ways. This week I have tried to draw and write every day and so far it is mostly working, and it is a thing that will grow. Growing all my things, being grown. Many people have been much support lately and in the last few months and I feel very lucky to have gathered so many much magic souls. So here is small love warmth I am sending out to all of yous. Even though in the drawing of I I am nervous self hug, you have all been hugging me either in reals or in my brain. And I am thanking you.

[drawererer]

lions and nots and bears and bears.

I drewed some bears and a lion but no tigers.

NO tigers. The tigers are nots. As in not here.

Here is a bears.

This bear is just basically happy. Not as in things make it happy. It’s basic state of existence is just happy. Somewhere inside it it has an ember and the ember is made of happy and anything that the universe blows in this bear's direction just makes the ember glow brighter. And the bright spills out of it in all it's places from the tips of it's hair and ends of paws and tufts of top of ears and spills out into the worlds and wilds. And that is nice.

This lion though, it is a bit lost. Looking all the ways instead of forwards. It's hairs are very big though, it's mane. It is nice to have a mane. When you lie on the ground it is basically a sort of pillow. And the wind blows and it makes it look majestic even if really you are just losts. Thinking of being other places. Thinking of swimming and your big lion face going all soft under the water, and feeling sleek and paws treading nice clear liquid. Being fierce and quiet.

ANOTHER BEAR. This is maybe a kind of bear called a sun bear. You should see them, they are nice.They have very long curl tongues and nice long curl claws and I haven't drawn either of those just it's nice big face. They are also often kind of wrinkly. I haven't drawn it's good wrinkles either. BUT IT IS A SUN BEAR. I tell you. That is what it is. It told me when I was asleep. It did 8 little growls into my dream.

[drawererer]

dragsonsesesess hissssssss

Here is an first dragon. It is not sense and the reason the back half is not in the picture is because I forgot how to draw back halfs and then the back legs are just like giant kangaroo chicken drumstick legs. So I hid them. Also this dragon doesn't have any bones in it's front armlegs and it just waves those front armslegs around like those whippy wavey air things they put outside car dealerships. In America.

This is second. It's body is more like a wonky pony body and but it's tail is real good real dragon tail. Pointy prong. It has a lot of fire but it is casual non aggressive fire, like maybe it is lighting it's way as it walks home from the late shift at work. It's wings are like nice boats or canoes that have flipped over and cannot be righted again. Related fact, if you turn a dragon over onto it's back it can not turn itself right way up unassisted. Which is why you see them always sleeping in a curled up cat type position. It's legs are quite short so as it lights it's home way it also has to move them very quickly while it's main body is just gliding along slowly smooth.

STREAMLINED athletic mode dragon. In fact this looks a lot more like a horse. Or pegasus horse. BUT I ASSURE YOU IT IS A DRAGON and I must know because I drewed it. This dragon works very hard and it never tells anyone when it is sad or having hard times because it is very stoic and poor at accepting help. Even when it is not right sided up. It finds it hard to ask for help, so once it was stuck upside down for two days until it's friend dragon came to visit and was like 'do you want me to turn you over?' and this streamlined athletic mode dragon was like 'no....................   yes.'

This is dragon's head. People do not know that dragons hiss. But they do. If you go and try to steal their treasure they do not actually burn you with fires (they could do that though) they just hiss in your ear and their tongue does that ffwpwppwpp thing against your ear and you are like that does not feel nice dragon please stop. But they don't stop.

[drawererer]

to mark occasions

We can all agree that whoever gave these squirrels matches and then left them unsupervised really needs to think carefully about their decision making process. WHISKERS ARE GOING TO GET SINGED and also standing on cakes is not hygenics.

It is hard to wield fires and sparks when your arms are not so longly, they have not thought all of this through, not at all, so eager they are to mark occasions, to celebrate with wishes.Squirrels have strong relationships with wishes, they have a lot of nervous magic in them.

They keep their wishes sometimes in the same place as their acorns, buried in little larders. It is hard to tell the acorns and the wishes apart. The wishes look like acorns and the acorns look like wishes.