Transcript: Yesterday my cousin said that my rooster wasn't a real rooster. He said he's a Walmart rooster. *chicken noises* Does this not look like a real rooster to you? *chicken makes a sound again* Sure, he's small, but he has feelings.
I love going trough the notes every time bc there’s always someone in the notes insisting we’re all mean and that you can just wear thick dish gloves over your fake nails as if I wouldn’t assume you’re going to Patrick Bateman my ass if you walked into the bedroom with claws and yellow rubber gloves
- Literally the most passionate sex you will ever experience.
- He’s a little clumsy, tripping over himself in his haste or struggling to get clothing off because he’s so damn eager for you.
- He’s more skilled than you’d think, and part of him wants Tony to know. Just to rub it in his face a little bit.
- He loves showering every exposed inch of skin with kisses. Biting and licking at the marks he leaves on your throat, your shoulders. He’s obsessed with leaving bites and hickies on your tits.
- His head game is- 😩😩 Puts everyone else to shame and I will DIE on that hill.
- The things he’s done to you with his tongue, his lips, are downright sinful. He’d spend hours between your legs, licking and sucking and teasing- you get it.
- He loves to be on top but definitely wouldn’t argue if you wanted to ride him.
- His thrusts are so deep and slow, reaching every inch of you he can. He sometimes likes to thrust in as deep as he can and hold it, the feeling of being completely buried in you absolutely blissful.
- Loves to kiss you as he’s making love to you. The muffled moans, ragged breathing, it gets to him.
- His moans and whimpers just- 🥰🥰 He doesn’t hide them.
- King of aftercare. Like- he’s always wiping you off and checking to make sure you’re okay. And when YOU clean HIM off, he practically melts into a puddle.
- He LOVES to sneak off and have sex at work. Hitching your leg up around his waist and pressing you into the wall, biting at you to muffle his sounds as he drills into you in an empty closet.
- Cuddles cuddles cuddles. He loves to hold you snug and talk to you as you both get drowsy.
[ID: Three screencaps from Taskmaster. Stevie Martin says, "Four people in the entire wedding had just put some little cloaks on, and I went as the Witch-king of Angmar, the Lord of the Nazgûl." The studio screen shows a smiling bride hugging Stevie, who's concealed inside a menacing spike-covered helmet. End ID.]
