ellievsbear
almost home
Jules of Nature
dirt enthusiast
$LAYYYTER
Three Goblin Art
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Discoholic 🪩
Misplaced Lens Cap
Mike Driver
No title available
trying on a metaphor
ojovivo
KIROKAZE
Sade Olutola
if i look back, i am lost
oozey mess
Janaina Medeiros
Game of Thrones Daily
Monterey Bay Aquarium
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@duke-and-joy
So what is summer, you asks?
Good question, I will tell you.
Summer is that period that has three stages:
"Uhhh, I finished my exams, I'm free"
"I'm just going to NOT charge my watch"
"Oh, crap. It is already September."
And it lasts usually three days.
A helping hand
BABY OH MY GOODNESS
CONTENT
omg so we have 1 seeing dog and 1 blind dog and whenever there's a toy they both want, the seeing dog takes it and just...stands very still. immobile. she KNOWS he will try to wrestle it from her but she has figured out that if she does not squeak it, then he will not find it. leading to this.
"god....grant me the strength to not squeak the squeaky toy"
My dog fell asleep with her head on my leg. My leg is numb and it hurts a lot.
I'm not going to move my leg.
Much as I adore hippos, this is undeniably just. (via @persian-slipper)
Safe and Effective Abortions at Home
The Following Resources Are a Comprehensive Guide on How to Safely and Effectively Self Manage Your Own Abortion
World Health Organization (WHO)
Publications and journal articles related to unsafe abortion including global and regional estimates of the incidence of unsafe abortion and
WHO provides global technical and policy guidance on the use of contraception to prevent unintended pregnancy; the provision of safe abortion; and the treatment of complications from unsafe abortion. WHO recommendations for safe abortion can be found (multiple formats and languages on their website linked above) in the following publications:
Clinical practice handbook for safe abortion (PDF)
Safe abortion: technical and policy guidance for health systems (PDF)
Health worker roles in providing safe abortion care and post-abortion contraception (2015) (PDF)
Medical management of abortion (2018) (PDF)
In addition, an interactive online database containing comprehensive information on the abortion laws, policies, health standards and guidelines for all countries is available at http://www.srhr.org/abortion-policies (Global Abortion Policies Database)
Women On Web
Get medical abortion pills sent to you safely and securely
Do you have an unwanted pregnancy? This online medical abortion service helps get a safe abortion with pills.
This website refers you to licensed doctor who can provide you with abortion pills. After you complete the following online consultation and if there are no contraindications, the medical abortion (with the pills mifepristone and misoprostol) will be delivered to you by post. A medical abortion can be done safely at home as long as you have good information and have access to emergency medical care in the rare case that there are complications.
Women Help Women
More about Self-managed Abortion; Safe and Supported (SASS); Getting Abortion pills In the U.S.; Global Resources and links to help around the world
Women Help Women Partners including Safe Abortion Hotlines International Campaign for Women’s Right to Safe Abortion Women’s Global Netwo
People may choose to self-manage an abortion with abortion pills because it is difficult to get to an abortion clinic or because they prefer to self induce their abortion on their own. “DIY” abortion with pills is safe and effective if the person has accurate information, support, and can ask questions. It is also important to understand the laws in each state. Abortionpillinfo.org offers a secure website with information about safe abortion with pills and a secure portal where women can get information about how to self-manage their abortion safely, minimizing legal risk, and with dignity.
International Women’s Health Coalition
Updated November 2016 INTRODUCTION Millions of women worldwide have safely terminated their pregnancies with medication since mifepristone—o
This guide is a helpful resource on how to induce a medical abortion safely at home, and legally from almost any country by using a product in an off label manner that contains the same active ingredient as the abortion pill.
Abortion With Self-Administered Misoprostol: A Guide For Women (PDF link)
Self-managed abortion (SMA) with pills is very medically safe and effective throughout early pregnancy, but there is a significant risk of c
Stay safe. Just stay safe.
So. Harry Potter's book starts on Tuesday.
They talk about the wizard that are out and about, but voldemort is killed Saturday, October the First, 1981. So what happens to Harry for three days?
What does it take to teach a bee to use tools? A little time, a good teacher and an enticing incentive. Read more here: http://to.pbs.org/2mpRUAz
Credit: O.J. Loukola et al., Science (2017)
@clockworkrobotic
“Friend? Friend push ball? I push ball. I do good.”
Bees. Smart enough to push a ball, not smart enough to not be fooled by a stick masquerading as a bee.
maybe they know and they’re just being polite
Other dimensional beings are undoubtedly amazed at what human beings will accept as human beings too. “But it’s just a stick with a person on it.”
#excuse me neil but what the FUCK was that #thanks for that terrifying thought (nooby-banana)
NEIL WHY. WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT.
This turns up on my dashboard. And I read it and am impressed that someone writes exactly the post that I’d write, without actually reading the name of the person who posted it.
And then I’m puzzled at all the Neil Why’s, and realise that this was me in the Wayback Long-ago.
At least I’m consistent.
And, I should point out, we are no closer to being able to spot the extra-dimensional stick “people” who move unobserved among us.
Those little trick-or-treaters sure look a bit familiar, don’t they?
Time is turning My heart’s burning me through Oh, I’m scared to close my eyes In case I miss my chance with you You came just like a flower, in my darkest hour Bloom in the night, cereus bright Stella by Cereus Bright requested by @posyfoot + Cereus Bright by the same artist | Tags: @aardvark-crowley @murdered-by-fandoms I loved the song so much I listened to the singer’s other songs and I found Cereus Bright fitted them so well too so I mushed them together for this! Hope you don’t mind! The songs just gave me such a romantic impression, so have em going on a picnic in god knows where, since they can go wherever they want. Redbubble | Ko-fi | BMC
"Can I ask you something?"
Aziraphale looked at the demon, his head on his lap, his eyes closed. "Yes, dear boy". He raised his hands and ruffled his auburn hair.
"Why... Why the look. You know... The jacked and the obnoxious pattern and..."Crowley moved his hands to jesture the angel.
"Well" the angel shifted his weight, uncomfortable "If you must know...". He paused again, then he whispered "It was you, remember?"
Crowley turned his head, looking at the angel in his eyes "Me?"
"I believe it was 1215. Yes... When King John signed the Magna Carta. Yes, you told me that you liked me in beige colours. It remained you of the Garden. Do you remember now?"
"Yes... Twelve - fifteen, then?"
"You called me dashing, my boy. Dashing in my beige old clothes"
"Oh. OH." Crowley smiled, kissing the angel nose. He was probably lying, back then, but now he was fond with the style of his angel. "I suppose it is a nice colour on you"
So I wanted to know what kind of crystal could go in a wizard staff, right? so I googled “big crystal,” as one does, and got an Etsy ad for This
And as you all know I Am currently taking a geology class, so I am probably more emotionally invested in minerals than usual. But that is...very obviously not a natural crystal.
So I did some looking around on Etsy.
Now, these shops all seem to advertise to the “witchy”/“spiritual healing” type of person. And there are a lot of them. Crystals are a Big Thing on Etsy. And ALMOST ALL of them are obviously artificially cut into the same sort of prism with a triangular pyramid top, regardless of the actual sort of crystal it is supposed to be.
Even like, fucking, obsidian. Obsidian is volcanic glass, it doesn’t form crystals at all, it is not a crystal
I’m not throwing any shade at people who are into crystals for like witchy reasons, but it really seems like if crystals are spiritually important to you, you should know what a crystal is...right...?
So there I am. Caught in the helpless anger and distaste of looking at geologically inaccurate Etsy crystals.
And as I scroll, I start to see items in...interesting shapes:
“Oh,” I think to myself. “Oh no.”
But it is too late. I have heard the siren’s song, singing to me of knowledge that will destroy me, but that I cannot help but seek.
These...elongated objects are almost always ambiguously described as “massage wands,” “crystal healing wands,” and other such innocuous things. The egg-shaped objects are, um, “yoni eggs.”
...Right. Okay.
Maintain the youthfulness of my sacred organ.
IT’S A SEX TOY. SAY IT. BITCH, IT’S A SEX TOY, IT’S OKAY, SERIOUSLY, THERE’S NO SHAME IN IT, SAY IT WITH PRIDE, SAY IT WITH YOUR CHEST,
OKAY.
Okay. I’m good. I’m fine.
Actually, you know what, never mind. There is shame in this and I want it to be never acknowledged again.
Additionally, I am not fine.
Why the fuck are there so many of these—
At this point I stop and start googling.
Now, Selenite is the crystalline form of gypsum. It is also known as satin spar. Selenite is brittle and breaks easily, and has a Mohs hardness scale of 2.
For those unfamiliar with the Mohs hardness scale, a mineral with a hardness of 2 is soft enough that it can be easily scratched with a fingernail. It also is dissolved by moisture.
NO. DON’T PUT THAT IN YOUR BODY???? DON’T PUT THE GYPSUM, WHICH HAS A MOHS HARDNESS SCALE OF 2, IS BRITTLE AND BREAKS EASILY, AND IS WATER SOLUBLE, INSIDE YOUR LITERAL ACTUAL VAGINA??????????
I try to reassure myself with the fact that these things are probably not actually selenite, because making a dildo out of such a soft mineral in the first place would be very difficult. Having seen fluorite before, I feel pretty certain that the fluorite yoni eggs are probably actually just glass.
I google fluorite.
Okay.
Further exploring online shows me that fluorite is soluble in various strong acids.
Some guys on a forum in 2004 have strong contradictory opinions on this.
(I google the pH of the vagina.)
I don’t understand how pH works. I give up on the solubility question and google the toxicity of fluorite:
I now know at least one orifice fluorite does not go inside.
Science.
No, dear followers, my journey did not end here.
I have opened Pandora’s box, except Pandora’s box is filled with minerals God did not intend to be anywhere near the vagina carved into the shape of dildos. Etsy is advertising me sex toys I wish I could forget.
And vaginal steam herbs.
It seems that there is potentially a correlation between wanting to steam your vagina and wanting to put rocks in it. I know, groundbreaking discovery.
Okay, so we’re talking therapy substitute therapy substitute.
(I begin to think about how desperately we need universal health care. Maybe I just need someone, something, to blame.)
At this point, I realize that I haven’t done any googling on whether dildos made of rocks are a good idea at all. So, very tentatively, as if typing it more slowly will make it any less observed by the FBI, I google whether quartz should be used...internally.
First result that pops up:
That’s, uh. That’s reassuring.
I decide I’m incapable of unpacking this particular suitcase.
There are, of course, a small handful of articles debating the safety of rose quartz sex toys. But I’m getting the feeling that this is not a normal question to have in the first place. I close the tab with little relief.
Etsy is still enthusiastically recommending me things that hurt me psychologically.
...pleasure chalk?
How can I describe the fear that this image struck in me, reader?
Pleasure Chalk? What could that be?
Is knowing worse, or is not knowing? I scarcely have a choice:
I check in with my emotions.
Is this relief? Am I relieved that they are eating the dirt instead of fucking it? One review complains about the taste. I don’t know what they expected.
I try in vain to struggle against the tide, to return to the relatively normal side of Etsy. I begin to resent, no, hate, these deceptively aesthetically pleasing hippie shops eagerly spreading medical misinformation and things as yet unknown.
This, unlike the other “crystals” I have shown, appears to show naturally grown crystals. They are, of course, quartz crystals, and $45 comes off as extremely overpriced. I have a quartz crystal I got for a dollar at an Eastern Kentucky rock festival, about the size and quality of the ones in the photo.
Quartz is the most common mineral in the Earth’s crust. But at least this is regular levels of annoying.
Then I see this:
Well, I see the photo and the price, and I think, that looks like a regular quartz crystal. There’s no way a regular quartz crystal is $1,347.
I read the description:
I am crying. I don’t want to google any of this. I am beyond googling. I no longer desire knowledge.
THATS A QUARTZ CRYSTAL. MOTHERFUCKER THAT’S QUARTZ. SIO2, MOST COMMON MINERAL IN THE EARTH’S CRUST. ITS FUCKING QUARTZ IM—
I click on a malachite.
The malachite promises to protect me from emails. And at this, darkest hour, I want to be protected.
I have been broken. I have been lured to my demise.
Big Brother: loved.
Geology lab I’m supposed to be doing: incomplete.
God: unmerciful.
@teddybear-kin @queen-cryptic I regret to inform you that, regardless of the intended usage of wands, people are absolutely putting them in their bodies and the labeling is not always clear and distinguishing. Objects that are very clearly dildos are described as "massage wands."
Many of them are still dubiously presenting themselves as items for health practices, blurring the lines between masturbation and "yoni massage."
It's really unclear where the line between "this goes in your vagina" and more normal items is in general. Some of the items are very clearly in the "please don't" category, but some of them are just like "This is a Massage Wand. Up to you which of your holes you shove it into."
"insert the wand slowly and try to massage inside of your Yoni (Vulva)."
Kill me.
Do autistic kids "grow out" of their autism? Why does it sometimes seem like there are so few autistic adults?
For Autism Acceptance Month, I covered this topic in this comic to help explain this disconnect! YouTube | TikTok | Instagram | Twitter
Urgent help needed
My roomate and I are disabled, homeless, and trans. We we living in a very conservative area and we were fairly recently outed to our hotel by a trans charity. We just need to survive until we get a check from a familial will, but covid delays have been delaying things a lot.
Right now, we are also both sick. My roomate has antibiotics and steroids, but we had to beg abusers for help for those. Things have been all around bad, and if we could get extra help to take care of the hotel bill so I can have a few days to get my head together from all the abuse, sickness, and stress, I would be forever grateful.
My dear friend @hostile-flower is doing drawings for anyone who donates $50. The drawings may take time to be completed because they are disabled as well.
March 31
$creepiecrippl
@tab-99
Go to paypal.me/creepiecrpple and type in the amount. Since it’s PayPal, it's easy and secure. Don’t have a PayPal account? No worries.
I am sick and had to get a drs appointment and meds. Both meds and transportation ended up being more than expected, and we need $250 to not be kicked out if they bill us tonight. They didn't bill us last night, I have no idea why but don't look a gift horse etc etc.
All of this is so stressful, because I ignored how sick I was until I couldn't and I've been having nosebleeds and terrible tonsil stones, both things that just generally don't happen with my body unless things are really concerning. I need to rest and being able to worry about the bill less could legitimately be the difference between needed another round of antibiotics or not. Please help!!!
April 2nd
$50/$250
It would also be really cool to be able to get my rpomate food today, because he very suddenly became allergic to a lot of food we have, its ofc less urgent than the bill though.
Hi Neil
Why did you stop making bagels?
What did the bagels ever do to you?
XD
I stopped because I went to New Zealand, and didn't bring my sourdough starter. There's frozen sourdough starter waiting in the freezer in my house in Scotland for me to return and start bageling once again.
Working with rye flour was fun, as it was closer to using clay than to using dough. They were not beautiful but they tasted amazing.
(Photos: before and after boiling, and after coming out of the oven.)
Neil, as a fellow bread maker, I’m begging you to share your recipe. Those look amazingly delicious and mine never turn out that well.
Here's my notes to myself from the time:
100 ml starter 200 grams rye flour 220 ml water Mix well, cover with cling film, leave overnight. Next day, add 50 g of Buckwheat flour, 50 g of Barley flour, 100 g of rye flour. 1 tsp of sea salt and 1 tbsp of maple syrup in 2 tbsp of water. Mix well, cover with cling film, leave for a couple of hours in a warm place. Put a big pot of water on to boil. Add syrup to the water. (I’m using date syrup.) Take a bowl of water. Wet hands. With wet hands, make a ball of dough, handful size — think medium snowball. Smooth it, make the hole in the middle, drop into boiling water. It will sink to the bottom, then rise. After a couple of minutes, turn it over in the water. After a couple more minutes take it out and put it on baking paper on a baking tray. I sprinkle the paper with flour. Keep hands wet through all of this, as if working with clay. Don’t crowd the bagels in the water pot. No more than 4 at a time. Give them time — they get puffier. When all the bagels are on the baking tray (it makes 6 or 7) put them in the oven for about 16 or 17 minutes. Then turn them over. Back in the oven for another 6 minutes. And then they come out. Off the tray. Let them cool, and then eat them.
There's no heat setting mentioned, because I was cooking them in an Aga oven which doesn't have fancy things like temperature controls, but is somewhere around 220C or 420F.
Reblogging for the people who have been complaining that Tumblr isn’t showing this post on a search. I searched for it and found lots of people talking about how nice it was that Neil Gaiman was sharing a bagel recipe but not seeing this. So I’ve re blogged this and am using my name (Gaiman) and the singular of bagels (bagel) in here to see if Tumblr’s search functions work if you prod them.
Thanks, Mr. Gaiman
cc: @petermorwood. Nice recipe, intelligently multigrain (never hurts to give the yeast different ways to stretch themselves. Some variety’s always nice when you’ve been doing a job for a billion years...). ...Have we got any kippers / mackerel / smoked fish in the freezer...? :)
I've made this recipe a couple times and am not sure if the rye flour I'm able to get is the right thing... It's DARK rye flour. My bagels came out really brick-like... Making yet another stab at it today, though. My last attempt with a straight up substitution of plain ol' all purpose for the rye flour, but keeping on w/ the barley and buckwheat came out reasonably well.
I was using White Rye Flour, or sometimes Wholemeal. (At the time the brand I was buying was Doves Farm - https://www.dovesfarm.co.uk/products/organic-white-rye-flour-1kg)
Neil, how do you freeze your starter and know it will reactivate?
You take your starter. You spread it not too thickly on thin plastic wrap. You let it dry out into a crusty flaky stuff. You take the crumbly dried-out starter off the plastic wrap (it just falls off) and put it in a container in the freezer. When you need starter, you take it out and feed it with flour and warm water, and the yeasts in the starter wake up and come back to life.
Yeasts are tough. Did you know there is bread now being made from 4,500 year old yeast, reclaimed from inside ancient Egyptian bread-making clay vessels?
I am so thrilled to have a story in this upcoming anthology!
"The Train" A man finds himself holding a train ticket to Hell after accidentally attempting to rob a ghost train.
And because it's me, there's a tiny bit of romance <3
Frontiers have always attracted the Other - where they find that the Other is always already there. These 22 stories explore what happens when queer characters encounter weirdness on the edge of the worlds they know.
Details and pre-orders
Ao3 ~ DannyeChase.com ~ Linktree
