You might get... dead

Everybody has the right to sell their soul to the Devil if necessary.

[slobonmynov]

Thinking about myCliff and myIlya having a day off tradition of getting high and watching tv shows together for hours on end. It’s not every single day off, because Cliff has a lot of family obligations when he’s in Boston, but it happens whenever they can swing it.

Ilya hosts and Cliff is in charge of snacks. One memorable occasion saw him bring an entire Costco pizza - a revalation, but not to be repeated because Roz burnt the top of his mouth to shit trying to eat it too fast.

They wear unintentionally coordinated outfits - Ilya usually in his Rick Owens and a baggy muscle tank that’s more hole than cloth, and Cliff in Champion sweatpants, funnily enough he’s usually the one who’s shirtless.

Sometimes they’ll try a new show but mostly they rewatch their comfort shows. Their favorites are:

comedies (Parks and Rec, Modern Family, they tried 30Rock but after a while the jokes start to go over their sweet little stoney baloney heads)

procedurals (SVU bc they’re obsessed with Mariska Hargitay and Bones bc the dynamic of the characters is like a big happy family and that is appealing to them for different reasons)

and reality tv (basically any bravo show. They tried Grand Designs once in December of 2016 and Ilya started silently weeping? So Marly quickly put on the christening fight episode of RHONJ)

Nature documentaries (the introduction of 4k tvs to the market really melted their brains. Ilya briefly considered returning the tv after Marly almost broke it the first time. In his defense the snow leopard did look real enough to pet.)

Importantly, they don’t really talk that much, besides grunting at each other to pass the snacks, laughing, or lazily quoting their favorite lines. But sometimes, a couple of hours in, Roz will get so comfortable that he goes into a kind of trance and lets things small things slip, in relation to whatever is going on on the screen. That is how Cliff learns Roz’s brother deserves a swift kick in the nuts, that he should ask his Nonna to pray for Roz’s father to rot in hell, and that Roz is in love with Montreal Jane.

[yeoverheart]

Campers teaser

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟

Hi!! I've been working on a short Hollanov camping fic: enemies to lovers??

(EX) Orgasm denial (if you squint), bossy bottom Shane, humiliation kink, sub top Ilya- Svetlana invites Shane and Ilya to spend 72 hours camping together, realizing they like each other more than they thought.

Here are some twt post teasers-hoping to post tomorrow night! 5k-ish wc. Should be one part, but maybe I'll add more!

[bambicoded]

MY shane

[angel-mistakes]

PEOPLE NEED TO NOTICE HOLLANOV'S SEXUAL TENSION!

And I mean the people who actually know Shane and Ilya for who they are, not the fans of hockey. The people who really know them and know what they're like in private, away from cameras and the public's view. The friends and family who know what is Normal and what is Not-Normal for them. I believe that if anyone saw them interacting for an extended period of time, they would see the fucking sexual tension because Hollanov are incapable of being normal around each other. Sure, they've had to face off during games and attend some of the same events, but they're never in the same place at the same time for long (in public). Even in shared interviews, it's the most impersonal thing where they don't even have to face each other-- they just look at the journalists ahead. They're never together long enough to have anyone observe or really take a moment to digest what they're seeing between them. But what if there WAS a situation like that? One where their friends and family saw... well, they don't know what they're fucking seeing when they see it but they know they're seeing something between them. Something charged that can't be completely blamed on the rivalry. Maybe there's a charity event the NHL/MLH is hosting where Hollander and Rozanov are in front of cameras and having to interact consistently with each other throughout the ordeal and their loved ones watch in support. Maybe there's a fancy dinner where Shane and Ilya have to sit at the same table for three whole fucking courses and make conversation between each other for hours. Maybe all our favorite characters are trapped in a room for *waves hand* REASONS! Regardless, they'd know they were seeing something! Yuna thinks Ilya's being an asshole after a comment he throws at Shane, but then she sees something in Shane's eyes that tells her that Shane is actually amused by what Rozanov has said. That there's an inside joke that only they know. David notices the way that when Ilya brushes past Shane, Shane never startles or flinches or readjusts. Shane's always had a problem with touch outside of a hockey rink. The fact Shane does seem bothered is... interesting. Hayden can't believe that Shane shared a bottle of water with Rozanov when he ran out of his own water. Shane doesn't even drink after Hayden, but he's fine with whatever cooties Rozanov (definitely) has? Marleau sees the not-completely veiled affection Ilya has in his eyes when looking at Hollander. It's soft in a way that he's never seen Rozy. Well, only when he's texting-- Cliff realizes "Montreal-Jane" may not be a girl at all... Rose Landry keeps getting death glares only a jealous bf would throw her. She's amused and takes it as a challenge to have Ilya love her by the end of the night. And have him know she's team Hollanov.

Svetlana knows all. It takes one glance between them to realize Jane is the dumbest code name Ilya could've come up.

[vesnuszki]

crucially shane knows very well the telltale signs of ilya entering two pump chump mode (the slight rise of the pitch of his voice, the shaky grip on his hips, that one specific tone of groan) and it activates brat behaviour like a sleeper agent and while shane doesn’t typically talk much shit in bed, the moment he knows ilya is in it, he cannot stop talking ooh yeah baby want you to ruin that hole, want to feel you for days, no one fucks me like you do, you were made to make me cum baby

hard times for quickshot ilya rozanov

[suchsitestoshow]

I think it'd be really funny if Luca had, like, a sort of intimidating boyfriend. Like, a 25 year old tattooed metalhead with a resting bitchface and a krallice shirt. He may or may not pick Luca up from a practice on a motorcycle. The rookies are sort of scared to talk to him. Ilya is fighting the urge to ask him what his intentions are with luca. Harris is the only one who chats with him because a case of RBF has never stopped him before.

[unicorngunter]

Nina using her creepy powers to entertain the cat

[kaijuerotica]

Ilya Hollander (born June 15, 1991), known professionally as Ilya Rozanov, is a Russian-Canadian professional ice hockey center and captain for the Ottawa Centaurs of Major League Hockey (MLH). Nicknamed "The Russian Menace" and "Roz", he has the most career goals in MLH regular season history of any Russian-born player. He is married to teammate and alternate captain for the Ottawa Centaurs, Shane Hollander.

[tomorrowisyesterday119]

Heated Rivalry is a closed door hockey romance in the sense that they fade to black on the hockey. The sex is explicit, but the hockey is implied.

[mina-logan]

Is anyone else reading that fic with the super straight bros, bro? It’s got me in a chokehold, bro.

[liliesrozes]

reading super straight broz (live) like..

aw gay boy..

GAY BOY NO

[memyselfandi13531]

post tlg some random asshole defenseman makes a shitty comment about shane taking it up the ass and shane looks at him, then at the scoreboard that shows the centaurs winning 6-1, then back down at him like "i dunno man i think one of us is getting fucked in the ass right now and it isn't me." and then that guy tries to fight him

[hr-rep]

Shane getting criticized for not using pride tape and he’s caught on a mic later that week saying I didn’t realize it wasn’t the sucking dick that made me gay but the rainbow . Which is how he comes out.

[your-cab-is-definitely-here]

So one afternoon at the cottage, Ilya has been in and out of the lake all day, excited like a kid, splashing around and clowning and fascinated by the wildlife and showing off for Shane. And after they finally head back inside and shower off the lake smell, Shane settles on the couch with a book and Ilya flops down with him, stretched out with his head in Shane's lap and whining until Shane frees a hand to sink into his hair. And it's been such a nice full day and it's all warm dozy sunshine and the lovely earthy nature smell that's everywhere around the cottage and Ilya has his face tucked into Shane's stomach where he can breathe him in, the familiar scent of his detergent and body wash, and Shane's big warm hand is in his hair and Ilya's pleasantly tired and drowsy and so comfortable that he just... drifts off, the kind of wonderfully indulgent nap that he never really gets during the season and finds hard to justify when he's in Russia for the summer.

But this year he's not in Russia, and he slips into this warm syrupy slumber while Shane pets through his hair (incidentally making a disastrous mess of his curls) and reads his book. When Ilya eventually rouses, with a happy grumble of contentment, nuzzling closer into Shane's stomach, he can feels Shane laughing gently at him almost before he hears it.

"Did you sleep well?" Shane asks, and that sounds warm and syrupy too, and Ilya rolls over so he can smile at Shane and revel in the smile he gets in return.

And then Shane says, "Are you hungry? It's almost dinnertime," and Ilya realises he's been lying here, napping and pinning Shane to the couch and wasting both of their time, for hours, and he jackknifes upright so suddenly that Shane startles back.

"Fuck!" Ilya spits out. "I was--fuck, has been so long. Why didn't you wake me up?" already guilty because Shane had wanted to make some pasta thing that he was weirdly excited about and they'd talked about maybe playing more Chel but now the whole day's been napped away and--Ilya sneaks a look---Shane's book is lying closed on the couch, bookmark set neatly aside, so Shane had finished his book and not even been able to get up to go do something else.

And he's just smiling at Ilya, completely unconcerned that Ilya's been idle and asleep and... and... lazy, all afternoon, just glad Ilya had a good nap.

Shane's frowning in mild confusion at him. "Why?" he says, genuinely not seeing the problem. "You were napping, it was nice. I mean, if I'd needed to pee or something I'd have got up but I was fine." He reaches out and smoothes some of Ilya's hair down. "Oh, the pasta. We can do that tomorrow, we have all that salad from lunch and rolls and there's peaches if we want dessert."

Ilya must have responded somehow because Shane beams at him and says, "Cool, I'll go set the table if you want to go wash your face." He smirks and pokes at Ilya's cheek. "Got a little drool there." And then he smacks a kiss on Ilya's head, gets up, and trots over to the kitchen while Ilya just sits there reeling.

Anyway it's really important to me that Shane dismantles all of Ilya's awful self-talk about laziness.

[flyora]

Harris do his best as always

[bluegiragi]

long distance selfies

early access + nsfw on patreon

[mina-logan]

When your bro is also your bunny it can be something so special.