frankly my job should just pay me six figures to practice two and three part inventions all day

Product Placement
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KIROKAZE

Kaledo Art
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wallacepolsom
trying on a metaphor
occasionally subtle

pixel skylines
styofa doing anything
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shark vs the universe

blake kathryn
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
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Janaina Medeiros
almost home

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@e-minor-mental-breakdowns
frankly my job should just pay me six figures to practice two and three part inventions all day
I wonder: Do Americans know about american school buses? Not their existence in general, but how they're seen overseas.
Over here, they're one of the symbols of America, on par with the Statue of Liberty, the flag, the Eagle, and well ahead of any chain restaurant you can name. People won't know any US states, but they will know these vehicles.
The thing is, here in Germany, we don't have dedicated school buses. The general idea is that kids go to school on their own. When that's not practical, they're expected to use (and given free tickets for) public transit. Public transit is designed around this requirement; there are many places where there is a bus, and anyone can get on it, but the route and timetable really only makes sense for school children. In case a dedicated school bus is really needed, that's generally subcontracted out, and the lines either use something like a Sprinter Van for smaller routes, or a normal city or interurban bus (often a used one that's a bit older). School trips are normal public transit, or a rented bus, typically a coach or regional bus.
It's not a perfect system, in the past couple of years there's been an epidemic of people bringing their kids to school in their cars instead of letting them walk, which is less than ideal. It is what it is. But building a dedicated network of public transit lines only for students, and building dedicated vehicles only for that, has never occurred to anyone here.
Of course we know about these buses, from movies and such, but they're as foreign here as cacti or pick-up trucks (actually we're seeing more and more of these here) or yellow cabs (all europeans will assume all cabs in the US are yellow until they actually visit).
You do see these buses here at times, because people still generally like the idea of the US, even if they have a lot of issues with a lot of details, and so folks bring them over, along with stretch limos and stuff (also not really a thing here). And of course, if someone goes to all that trouble, they don't do it to haul school kids, they rent it out for city tours or as a party bus or whatever.
So you see these yellow things as a symbol of faraway places, scenic vistas, some vague undefined idea of freedom that doesn't necessarily hold up to any contact with reality, and it's just a huge part of the whole US aesthetic.
And then you go to a student exchange with the US, and you finally get the chance: You yourself get to ride in one of these iconic chrome yellow buses! It looks just like in the movies! You get in, you drive in them a littleâŠ
âŠand you realise they're shit. Just the worst buses in the western world. Terrible suspension. Uncomfortable seats with weirdly high backs (so they don't have to put seatbelts in, they just restrict how far kids can fly in an accident). Everything made out of the cheapest materials. Turns out the reason why the US uses school buses like that instead of normal modern city buses, which the US has, is to save money and because they just hate kids.
And then it hits you why US Americans say "as American as apple pie", a dish that is made and enjoyed literally anywhere in the world, instead of "as American as yellow school buses". Of course the Americans already knew all this. They got tortured by these things forever. It would never occur to them to see this as a symbol of America, it's just a normal part of life for them. It's a symbol of school and school life and sometimes normalcy, and tells us that these actors getting out of it are supposed to be teenagers, nothing more.
But most people in Europe have, of course, never ridden on these buses. So when they see them in movies and TV, that's a giant big yellow signifier that we're not in Hessen or Wallonia or wherever anymore. A symbol of a different world, one that may be at most a once-in-a-lifetime-experience for most people, just like a picture of a tropical beach, Incan Pyramids, the Great Wall of China, or Hildesheim (there's no reason to go there twice). And I think Americans don't know that, and that's fascinating.
Huh, didn't know school buses were seen like that overseas, I kinda assumed that most countries used school buses. They're just so ubiquitous here (heck I got stuck behind a school bus as it stopped just an hour ago) that I don't really think about how common they might actually be, much less how other countries might view US school buses.
this also says something about expectations of autonomy for children and teens in the US vs other places
and about how in lots of parts of the US, school buses pretty much are the public transit, people who live out of walking distance of their schools don't have any options for getting there except ride school bus or drive car
Yeah, when a lot of the US was getting laid out, late 18th and 19th centuries, the hot scientific new modern community concept was one based on large-ish individual farms, on which a single owner unambiguously lived with his family unit, none of this old-fashioned village-based system with medieval strip-based farming, where everyone lives all huddled together.
Europe was actively trying (for better or for worse) to move away from the medieval model, but it was baked into the existing shape of things; America very much took advantage of not having existing settlement and land ownership arrangements to respect to arrange things according to the zeitgeist.
Which means that American communities, especially west of Ohio, tended to be laid out on a pattern wherein 'going into town' was an operation in its own right. Not necessarily a highly arduous one, but even your nearest neighbors were frequently out of sight.
Then, we got serious about universal literacy, and universal general education beyond literacy, and started mandating kids going to school for increasingly long stretches. And it's simply not practical, with that layout, to have a school in walking distance of even a majority of rural homes, especially if you want distinct curricula for different ages and all of that; you could never train and pay that many teachers.
So school districts are drawn up much larger than it would make any sense to have a kid walk across. Oh yeah, ten miles uphill to school in the snow. That won't impede attendance.
My mother grew up in New York City and most certainly never took a school bus, but because of the settlement patterns that the 18th and 19th century lawmakers thought were up-to-date and efficient for land use, a majority of rural communities were in a position where there wasn't enough demand for establishing public transit to make any goddamn sense, because a majority of adults worked where they lived and tended to need cargo capacity when they did leave home. (Hence the ubiquity of the pickup truck.)
But hundreds of children needed to be rounded up and then dispersed again, every single day. Thus, the school bus. Objectively ridiculous, but in context it's a rational solution to a situation created a few generations previous. One idea of modernity interfering with the next.
The cheapness of them and the way they're used until they fall apart is down to 1) many municipalities are poor as shit and 2) kids are legally obliged to ride the damn things so it's not like they need to make them nice lol.
To anyone who believes fairy tale romances never happen in real life, may I remind you that JRR and Edith Tolkien met and experienced a forbidden love in their youth, and then were separated for five whole years because of his guardianâs rules that he could not date till he was 21, and she got engaged to someone else only because she assumed heâd forgotten her and lost hope that she could ever be with him, but then on his 21st birthday, he wrote her a letter saying he still loved her and wanted to marry her, she responded basically saying âif Iâd known you hadnât left me on the shelf, I would never have said yes to anyone else,â then a week later she greeted him at the train station and then immediately dumped her fiancĂ©, and they got married and she converted to his religion and danced for him in a flowering field far away from the trenches into which he was drafted, which left such an impression that he crafted an entire story about the most beautiful maiden in the world who danced in the woods and made enormous sacrifices to be with the man she loved, and they had four kids and remained faithful to each other and blissfully grew old together and their gravestones are now marked with the names of that same fictional couple that he created, who broke every rule and overcame every possible obstacle to be together and get a happy ending, who only did all that because he based it all on their own real love story.
Knowing all this has always made this bit of Berenâs song instantly reduce me to tears:
Though all to ruin fell the world
and were dissolved and backward hurled
unmade into the old abyss,
yet were its making good, for thisâ
the dawn, the dusk, the earth, the seaâ
that LĂșthien on a time should be!
Tolkien straight up wrote a poem that said âthe world could end, but it wouldnât have all been pointless, because she was in this world, however briefly, and that justified all the rest.â Kills me.
Who can outdo Wife Guy Tolkien? Dude was writing elaborate AUs where his wife is an impossibly beautiful magic-wielding immortal elf princess who fights Satan and wins to rescue her human boyfriend from Satanâs doom fortress. Flawless.
so my roommate is completely straight edge like no drugs no alcohol etc and so im sure yâall can imagine my surprise when i saw she brought home this sign
so i immediately inquired
and now you may ask. what the fuck did my roommate think that sign meant? well
anyways i moved the sign so itâs now front and center in our living room and ive been laughing every time i pass it
what a terrible time for me to remember that my roommate has a tumblr account and could theoretically find this post. *********** if you see this im sorry but it was funny and needed to be shared
I mean, botanically, âsativaâ just means âcultivatedâ and âindicaâ means âof Indiaâ.
Cultivate to change the things I can run off to India
to accept the things I can't
Screeching
same energy
This sleuthery was possible because that ad ran for months after it was pertinent.
I once had a landlord offhandedly mention that his mother had set this house on fire before. He and his wife lived on the first floor, and i rented the third.
Apparently his mom didnât like his wife. So she set their house on fire. The house i was living in.
He assured me that everything was fine now and that this was years ago, just kinda laughed, smiled, and said âYou know how moms areâ
Yes. I know how moms are. I know how fucked up moms are as well. I have known many fucked up moms and fellow children of fucked up moms.
Attempted murder through arson is not typical mom behavior, even for a fucked up abusive mom
Oh, and his mother lived next door đ
There were two houses next door to each other, both owned by the same family. They had lived there for decades, and for my landlord it was also his childhood home. Each house had three floors that acted as separate units. Every unit in the two houses was occupied by members of the extended familyâ except for me. I was the oddball living in the attic of one of the houses.
This is the family dynamic i was tossed into
HOUSE ONE
1st floorâ landlord and his wife
2nd floorâ identical twin sister of landlordâs wife, occasionally children (not clear whose)
3rd floorâ me âșïž
HOUSE TWO
1st floorâ landlordâs mother, who previously set house 1 on fire
2nd floorâ adult daughter of twin sister, her young kids, and current man (changes of man signified by throwing clothes out of window)
3rd floorâ creepy brother of the twin sisters who is always outside working on his van
Yes, the rent was dirt cheap
The rent was so cheap that i usually paid in cashâ ATM fees were about the same as money orders (and i didnât have checks)
Then one day my landlord is in his truck, pulling out the driveway when he stops and asks
âHeyâ you havenât been short on rent these last few months, have you?â
No⊠I had been paying in full, on time
To his wife. In cash
He wasnât normally home when i would go to pay rent, so i would give it to her. Figured it was the same as giving it to him.
Turns out instead she was pocketing $100 off the top and telling him i was short each month.
And he knew it was happening. He just wanted to confirm.
âEach month she makes it her little pay day! Well you know how wives areâ
Sir, you need to reevaluate the women in your life because this level of stealing and attempted murder is not normal
âYou know how moms/wives areâ is a statistical error. Landlord Georg, whose wife and mother steal from and attempt to kill him, respectively, was a outlier and should not be counted
Additional fun fact! The reason he was hard to get a hold of? He worked a crazy schedule that always changed.
He was a hospital chef. Oh. And a wedding dj. He tried many, many times to hire me to help work dj events for him.
I would politely decline
This whole thing reads as at least a 30k notes post wdym it only has 130 notes
EARLY ON A BIG POST FOR ONCE
If 60 of my friends stabbed me over 23 times đĄïžđĄïžđĄïžđ©ž
it wouldn't even be the worst thing that happened to me at work
frankly, I'd be surprised they didn't do it sooner
my biggest dream would finally come true (that is, dying)
my biggest dream would come true (i.e., falling victim to a homoerotic betrayal)
unrealistic; I'd never make so many friends
its that time again! reblog and iâll rate and roast your url đ
#josieroasts for your filters
read more to participate âŹïž
Let's go 3
manic pixie dream girl who watched scott pilgrim but took all the wrong things from it
3/10 sounds like a sufjan stevens lyric
It's just the name I've had online for like 15 years at this point lol but sure roast me at a 3
pick me behavior not wanting to use egirl
2/10 misogyny?
I'm only a little bit of a coward so 2, but please go ahead.
are we for real here? a game of thrones reference? my personal favorite part of the series was reading what people had to say about season 8
3/10
I've got a thick skin, hit me with your best shot. 3.
wrote an incredibly detailed barry x savitar selfcest enemies to lovers fanfiction epic
8/10 would read
Iâm a musician Iâm prepared for you to roast me alive, 3
why is religious Christmas imagery all so joyful and pleasant? where is the inherent horror of the birth of Christ? A mother is handed her newborn child, wailing and innocent. Her hands come away sticky. Red. Simply by giving her son life she has already killed him. He is doomed from the beginning. Her love will not save him from suffering. Because the thing cradled in her arms is not a baby, it is a sacrifice: born amongst the other bleating animals whose blood will one day be spilled in the name of what demands it. the night is silent with anticipation. Mary, did you know? That your womb was also a grave?
the concept of jaywalking one of the craziest inventions to me. youre just making shit up
âno loiteringâ YOURE JUST MAKING SHIT UP
i rly think these cities and small towns that are just policed to hell and back on every infinitesimal public presence or activity explains why you get white ppl coming to like west asia or wherever else waxing poetic about how busy and eclectic and chaotic the streets are. this is normal. âloiteringâ being a punishable offense is not fucking normal
when i first moved to canada and realized you couldnt have a fucking beer in the park i knew this place was a freakshow
The weirdest guy I ever met in a church was this boy who referred to âBuzz Aldrin and his husbandâ going to the moon. I was completely baffled, and when I asked if heâd misspoken, he got really angry and accused me of being deliberately ignorant of the facts. It turned out that he was somehow comvinced that Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong were married. It took five Wikipedia articles to convince him otherwise.
The moon landing was fake: tired, passé, heard it before
The moon landing was an elaborate marriage proposal: fresh! sexy! Iâm going to be thinking about this for months!
Romcom where two dudes in the 1960s fall in love and come up with an elaborate plan to become astronauts to get married in space because gay marriage is illegal everywhere but it canât be illegal on the moon
Might make things a little awkward for Mike Collins.
He was the officiator
This is an excellent take. He officiated in orbit, and the landing was their Honey Moon.
Oh my god they were moon mates.
THEY WERE MOON MATES
february 28th? whats next, february 29th?
[VERY LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER]
so after checking my calendar i realized that i fundamentally misunderstood the concept of the leap year. everyone feel free to buzzer me instead. op i hope you have a nice day
oh to be a hobbit catÂ