Meanwhile in a Rowboat

Yo I'm Astrea (29 y/o) and I'd sell my soul for an Orpheus spin-off. Hypnosis mic has me by the balls. Please read my about if you want to know more about me!

[neenarchive]

maidens if you are going to flee dramatically from my castle in the middle of the night once i reveal my true nature to you please leave your candelabra on the little ledge by the portcullis we are running out of them

[neenarchive]

starting to think these maidens are stumbling in soaked through from the rain just to steal my beautiful gowns and homewear are any of you actually lost

[elektrashocktherapy]

At the checkout in Home Goods loading the belt with nothing but candelabras in all shapes & sizes while the cashier watches sympathetically and asks if it’s the maidens again

[oomon1121]

ZAのシローくん。

[hakuaclovers]

( uwu i had a concept and i might have gone overboard with experimenting )

Uwu like the starters, which pokemon husbando would you choose? 🥰💕💖💕💖💕💖

Happy Valentines Day and Singles Awareness day and Shipping week and other holidays that I have no awareness of!!! 🥰💖💕💖💕💖💕

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

you can't even tell a fangirl "I hope your blond man suffers and dies" because she wants that to happen to him too

[qualcosadelgenere]

BONUS:

[milkywayes]

Hot air’s tickling her clavicle and then settling to cool in the hollow of her throat, and she doesn’t need to dip her chin down to know that there’s a face mushed into her neck. She can’t, anyway; he’s in the way.

something possessed me to draw this scene from -> dreamt a cipher :')

[carbo-nxr4]

hello ivor fans, this is for you (quick doodle)

[greymet]

And today we are strangling a boa constrictor

[ceruleanheaven]

ironically some of the most jobless people youll meet will be your coworkers

[targetedknowledge]

[grawly]

I’m looking at gameplay of the canceled version of Resident Evil 2 that got leaked a few years ago and I forgot that they were going to have product placement with Pepsi

this is really fucking funny to me idk why

[ostolero]

this is fucked up. somebody please desaturate the colors on the pepsi machine so it matches the surroundings

[stinkyhat-deactivated20231213]

Saturate it more. Everyone needs to notice it.

[grawly]

you guys are killin me here

[stinkyhat-deactivated20231213]

I dunno… I think if I were playing i’d notice the zombie more than the pepsi. Desaturate the zombie or remove them from the game completely. Just some advice from someone who took a class in marketing.

[grawly]

[netzwerkdurchsetzungsgesetz]

But now it looks like the person is running from the pepsi, and that’s not good for their brand

[grawly]

[m0gg3t-deactivated20231129]

The person is pointing a gun at the product Fix it

[grawly]

[grawly]

HOLY SHIT

[anajudraws]

idia because i love him

[zakuryoishi]

how many times do you still intend to lose?

[thuktunflishithy]

Jurassic World movies: "No one cares about dinosaurs anymore!"

People IRL when they see a toad:

[simp4frogs]

was that the bite of ‘87???

cross stitch of markiplier and fnaf by me!!

[margindoodles2407]

a what

[kaity--did]

The problem with having a child with an attorney that has spoken to the child like an adult since birth is that she's 4 years old and she's negotiating the order in which we're going to complete tasks as a family to best suit her idea of an ideal day.

[kaity--did]

Penny: We go home, we play the mirror game, we have dessert, we play more games, we have fun deal?

Me: Okay well actually we're going to go home, have dinner, then dessert, then we can play your video game, then tubby then bed

Penny: Okay no tubby, games first, deal?

Me: This is not - what is happening right now?

Penny: Dada?

Dada: Arbitration?

Penny: DEALS!

[kaity--did]

Every single thing in our lives has become a negotiation and it is frankly ridiculous as it is hilarious.

Penny: I want to use bare foot when we go outside

Me: I didn't know we were going outside but you have to wear shoes girl

Penny: okay but what about I use bare foot's but at Penny's house? This deal?

Me: you know what yeah fine if you agree to not fight about shoes when we leave the house you can be barefoot in the back yard, deal.

Penny: -sticks her hand out expectantly- we deal?

I think I just made a verbal contract with a 4 year old.

[kaity--did]

She's attempting to establish evidence I think

Penny: but I want to go shool pwease

Dada: okay well it is 8pm, so you have to go to sleep now

Penny: okay but I see my fwiends at shool now please, deal?

Dada: Darling no one is at school, all your friends are asleep as well.

Penny: all Penny's fwiends are sweep? What about we... get in Dadas car and check to see watch them sweep, yes deal?

Dada: I cannot begin to explain to you why that can not happen

[kaity--did]

The great thing about being beholden to Penny the Deals Warlock is that she is also beholden to the art of the deal

Me: (watching Penny scoot her step stool over to where we keep the candy jar): hey honey we're literally walking out the door to go get dinner, maybe we wait on the candy okay?

Penny: Oh but I will have some candy?

Me: Why don't you come have some mac and cheese and then when we get home you can have some candy, deal?

Penny: (running out the door) oh, yes this is deals!

[kaity--did]

We are visiting my family and Papa has quickly had to pay patronage to Penny the Deals Warlock

Papa: (yesterday morning, when Penny was a little grumpy) What about you come downstairs and we'll have some waffles and then tomorrow Papa will take you to the Diner in town for breakfast?

Penny: (extending her tiny hand to a VERY confused man) this is deal?

Papa: (not knowing hes entering a literal contract) uhm yeah deal.

-smash cut to 6:30 AM this morning-

Penny (running down the hallway in bare feet) 👹BREAKFAST DEALS👹

[kaity--did]

Penny has a canker sore to end all canker sores, to the point where she hasn't been able to eat so we had to make some deals surrounding getting some medicine on it because a hungry Penny Rose is like a angry demon queen

Me: Okay baby this is going to suck. This is going to hurt real bad for a second and then it's going to feel weird and then it's going to feel good. You're going to hate it. But if you let Mama get these three medicines in and on you [Listerine, Antacid, Tylenol] you can scream it out and then we'll go get some ice cream! Deal?

Penny: (obviously not thrilled with this idea) okay, three big shreams, three medicines, ice cream ... it will suck... ice cream ... deal. (Sticks out hand and we shake on it)

Me: okay let's do this I'm so sorry (starts the process)

Penny: ( In between her big screams ) IM GONNA GET LOTS OF FRINKLES

[mydownloadedfyp]

Not my vid