I really dislike Kawaii Future Bass or whatever this genre is called so I made it sound shitty with a bunch of random samples.
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I really dislike Kawaii Future Bass or whatever this genre is called so I made it sound shitty with a bunch of random samples.
mcmodernslopcore
Howdy, howdy, folks.
For many years (ten now, about which, more soon) McMansion Hell has featured many prominent and diverse atrocities from all over these great United States and sometimes beyond them. However, most of these posts have consisted of houses built during the McMansion Era proper -- from the 80s up through around the early 2010s.
This is for a number of reasons. First of all: I like these houses because they are insane. Second of all, they are indeed quite different from one another -- they represent the owner's idiosyncratic if poorly rendered desires and fantasies. They are heavily psychologically loaded buildings. One family dreams endlessly of Tuscany, another wants to recreate the mall. All interiorize previously exterior forms of consumption.
These houses were also very expensive to build compared to their contemporary iterations: all real, solid wood cabinetry and trim, wrought iron railings, marble floors, elaborate murals - none of this is cheap. This is not to say that I'm nostalgic for the classical McMansion (though many are) only that it, like, most other facets of architectural and everyday life, have become progressively cheaper and more bland.
The McMansion never truly goes away. It merely changes shape over time. One of the shapes it currently takes is a particularly loathsome imitation of contemporary high architecture (specifically the kind of houses architects love to build for celebrities in California) executed in the most wretchedly parsimonious manner possible. It feels cheap to use the word 'slop' but their indiscriminate nature - the way they have no regard for why or how the things they imitate even work - allows it. Of all the building forms that could be generated with AI, this is the most likely. At any rate, behold:
Yes this is a real house. Yes you can buy it for $6 million in, yet again, Barrington, IL. It has 5 bedrooms and 5.5 bathrooms totaling 11,600 square feet. But most importantly, it looks like dogshit. Ten layers of Photoshop have been used to gussy it up which makes it appear entirely ersatz. Were it not for the interiors, I myself would have trouble trusting my own eyes. Part of the reason it looks so unreal is because the design itself is absurd, as though someone created four equally ugly vessels and threw them up one by one.
In 2017, in a now-deleted essay for Curbed (RIP - they destroyed the archive) I called these types of houses McModerns, simply because they were McMansions dressed up in modernist garb, which they wore no differently than they would Neo-Tudor or Mediterranean (broadly construed.) These houses don't warrant a new neologism, but they do feel like a degraded or perhaps even gonzo version of even that old concept. Slop works fine too, especially because half of what's in these images isn't real.
Much fascinates me about these houses, however one of the most unique elements vis a vis the last 30 years of building is how overtly and almost hostilely masculine they are. Anything that can be construed as feminized - color, softness, ornament - has been ruthlessly purged. They also rip off tech industry minimalism which only ads to their bro-ey nature. While previous iterations of McModernism (think new builds in Colorado with fake wood exteriors) scream dads with IPAs, these houses scream Reddit to me. They are Elon Musk-adjacent in sentiment.
By the way, this is what that room looks like without the fake furniture. It's basically a sunroom.
Whole Foods would like to call in a robbery.
Because these houses are designed by men, for men, no one involved has learned how a kitchen works. Many are calling this setup the "grindset tiktok video kitchen." This is the kitchen you see in those day in the life of an AI startup founder videos your algorithm forces you to watch against your will.
Virtual staging is actual literal slop. In fact, one can say that they were one of the first iterations of the ontological crisis we now face, one of the first instances where one is forced against one's will to question reality, what one sees with one's own eyes. Beyond that, I think virtual staging is literally a form of lying. You can use it to make a space look bigger or smaller than it is. In this it also has a lot in common with AI. This dining room has nothing to do with the world I'm living in. These chairs are not my problem.
It's actually AMAZING how much of what's in this house, beyond the furniture, is fake. Every single material is fake. The stone is aluminum paneling. The plants are plastic. The concrete is printed on some kind of surface (as evidenced through its repetitive pattern), though it's hard to say from just pictures. I don't even trust the floors!!
Ok if you haven't read Kelly Pendegrast's amazing essay "Merchandizing the Void" about how houses are all like stores now, HERE IS THE LINK. Some ideas never die, they just evolve, king. Like you.
Please, I'm very cold.
Unfortunately there are no pictures of the rear exterior of this house, so this is where we will have to conclude for today. That being said, these houses and their antecedents are developing a design language all their own that will, in time, be as culturally rich to us as the houses of yore. The problem is they are less visually interesting. They are houses made to scroll in and scroll right by. Expect to see more of them here, but only if they have something, anything to say.
If you like this post and want more like it, support McMansion Hell on Patreon for as little as $1/month for access to great bonus content including a discord server, extra posts, and livestreams. (Don’t worry! This doesn’t adjust for inflation! Now’s the perfect time to join!) By the way: new subscribers can buy a year of McMansion Hell for just $12!
Not into recurring payments? Try the tip jar! (I would seriously appreciate any and all tips because I am in the process of moving house!)
doggy doggy
you guys are not ready for this update
Fuck I’m at a fencing tournament and literally a minute after I reblogged this my dad told me that he talked to the point people and I’m probably going to win a medal.
BURN BAGEL BURN
OH WHY NOT?
I need to follow up to say I reblogged this last night, and this morning I got some of the best news of my life, like, a life dream come true news thing.
Bagel what are your powers
FUCK, I though it was just another lucky meme but LISTEN. Since a week ago I was waiting a phone call to confirm me if I got a job or not in my university. I reblogged this yesterday’s night “just for fun and because I don’t want any bagel to be mad with me”, and today’s afternoon, while I was losing my time as always, the professor I was supposed to work with called me and asked me for my personal information to start working with her.
THE BAGEL POWERS ARE WAY TOO MUCH FOR THIS WORLD
I GOT A JOB THE DAY AFTER MY QUEUE POSTED THIS THE FIRST TIME AND I JUST REALIZED IT WHEN I SAW IT AGAIN HOLY GOD
The bagel hasn’t let me down yet!
Let’s see what you can do bagel
Video I've been thinking about a lot recently
The Monday Period: Part 1 of 6
Part 1: you are here
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Rolling my sleeves to shout out some of my favourite Heated Rivalry fics. I have a type and the type is digging deep and biting into the character study of it all.
Dig Two Graves by devovitsuasartes - M | 28k I could write a thesis on why I love this fic. Sometimes I think the fandom forgets that Shane is an athlete who is at the top of the league and for that he needs to be ruthless and calculative. Nailed the characterisation and Shane POV. (Warning: graphic scenes) i don’t smoke (except for when i’m missing you) by easilycherished/@easilycherished - T | 2k Was smoking while reading this and got a 4D experience. Poetry.
the awful english language by nomadsland - T | 1.7k I have the softest spots for Immigrant Ilya and dealing with languages.
we’re strangers, we’re not friends by isozyme/ @isozyme - T | 5.3k Rookie Ilya. He’s such a teenager and the author has got the bratty voice of those early years down to a T. Luchik, Darling by chaentics/@rozzed - E | 18.7k I wanted to press so many lines from this fic into a book like flowers. Gorgeous writing that explores the changing landscapes of what home means. fall in love again and again by Ehlihr (ehlihr) - M | 24.6k Timeloop fic. At some point you want to bang Shane's head and shake him by the shoulders. He Goes Through It TM. truth covered in security by lisa6 - E | 3.6k Messy and chaotic. Jealous fuckboy Ilya for the win. you know this moment, don’t you? (time is strangely calm now) by barnes_romzanov - M | 15.4 k Sometimes I like putting my heart through a cheese grater for the kick of it. (Warning: Note the tags, implied suicide) four steps to death by a_good_soldier/@agoodsoldier - T | 5.5k Gut-punching vignette into what it looks like to mourn someone and the life you lived. Malysh by theribbonsweregreen/@aslongasitsblack - M | 5.7k I am all aboard the Hollanov would not have kids train and by god does the author hit the mark on Shane being so not okay with hypothetical babies. Glint by theribbonsweregreen/@aslongasitsblack - E | 2.7k By the same author as above. Light is a character of its own and it's beautiful. It felt like I was suspended in time. it's worse to be nothing by destielpasta/@ilyapasta - T | 4k Set after Ep 5 confession. It's laced with melancholy, nostalgia and warmth and it is a sweet exploration of the uncertain. I am the private room by Anonymous - E | 9.3k I need everyone to walk with me here. Yuna/Svetlana is now my jam. I will honestly read whatever this author writes, but this deserves a very special mention. Real love makes your lungs black by Anonymous - E | 16.6k My bookmark notes say 'Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov and cigarettes - A Threesome' - And yeah that tracks. Us until You by chaentics/ @rozzed - M | 10.4k Svetlana character study that is just so so tangible and how the relationship between Ilya and her changes over the years. Til They Retire Your Number by technicallyverycowboy/@technicallyverycowboy - E | 17k Retirement fic. Put Shane in a torment nexus of rethinking what Hockey means to him and I'm on cloud 9. (Spoiler?: The inevitability of the conversation in chapter 4 is some of the most impactful writing I've read.)
how do you feel? by exogenesissymph/@iknowofthestarsandsea - T | 10.7k This is the first character study fic that I read in this fandom which made me crave more. It is amazing and I loved living in Shane's head and watching him navigate life through interviews and the press. Excellent Shane POV. I want to eat this fic. Don't forget to give the authors all your kudos and comments and firstborn kittens! <3
classic scifi novels by men r always like. page 1 here’s a cool scifi idea i had. page 2 i hate women so much it’s unreal
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guys if one more person leaves a tag like this on my post im gonna lose my mind. There Are Science Fiction Authors Who Are Not Misogynistic Men
ok i’ve gotten one too many ‘this is why i don’t read sci-fi’ comments so here’s a rec list for the people convinced all science fiction is bad and misogynistic (with something for everyone, hopefully!):
(also, btw, the book links are to the Storygraph, which includes content warnings for each one!)
smth funny and lighthearted about a security robot who’d rather watch TV then do its job? all systems red by martha wells (first novella in the The Murderbot Diaries series, 6 books, ongoing)
a complex, intricate political space opera following a warship AI who’s lost (almost) everything? ancillary justice by ann leckie (first in the Imperial Radch trilogy) (fun fact! bc of space linguistics reasons, all characters in this series are referred to with she/her pronouns, making gender a non-factor - it’s really cool!)
a dark story about travelling between parallel universes and a woman who is dead in almost every single one? the space between worlds by micaiah johnson (standalone) (SO good, i don’t get to recommend it often enough!!!)
a story about grief and letting go, and a unique take on alien invasion? the seep by chana porter (standalone novella)
hey, how abt some dystopian YA, for old times sake? specifically, one with sapphics and sick mechas? try gearbreakers by zoe hana mikuta (first in duology)
or, if you’d prefer something a bit less angsty, YA about a ragtag group of teens and a space heist? the disasters by m. k. england (standalone)
alternate history steampunk that blurs the line btwn science fiction and fantasy? the black god’s drums by p. djeli clark (standalone, novella)
a dark gone girl-esque thriller about clones? the echo wife by sarah gailey (standalone)
poetic sapphic romance and time travel? this is how you lose the time war by max gladstone and amal el-mohtar (standalone)
a hopeful utopian future and a human-robot friendship? a psalm for the wild-built by becky chambers (novella, first out of two) (this author’s got a whole bunch of hopepunk sci-fi novels in general, if that’s smth you’re looking for!)
africanfuturism, coming-of-age, and cool jellyfish aliens? binti by nnedi okorafor (novella, first in trilogy)
spicy lesbian cyborgs? and shall machines surrender my benjanun sriduangkaew (novella, first in the Machine Mandate series, 6 books)
cosmic horror with an autistic scientist, cyborg angels and AI gods? the outside by ada hoffmann (first in trilogy, 2 books are out)
also, if you’re a fan of Janelle Monáe, may i draw your attention to the fact that they’ve recently come out with a Dirty Computer short story collection, each story co-written with a diff writer?
this list is long enough, but have some more authors (who are not cis men) also worth checking out: rivers solomon, yoon ha lee, charlie jane anders, aliette de bodard, xiran jay zhao, mary robinette kowal, corinne duyvis
and finally, not all older/classic scifi is written by crusty old white guys who hate women!!! some iconic authors i’d particularly recommend looking into are ursula k. le guin, octavia e. butler, samuel r. delany and vonda n. mcintyre 🥰
I’ll add C.J. Cherryh and her Foreigner series to this! Alien politics, linguistics, adventure and intrigue… Sometimes the aliens aren’t just like us, after all, and that’s ok!
Throwing in a recommendation for These Burning Stars by Bethany Jacobs
This is the most beautiful earthship I've ever seen. The 2010 "Euro" style earthship in Tres Piedras, NM was custom-built, has 3bds, 2ba. 2,000sqft, cut $90k to $635k, on the market for 660 days.
The 1997 "Mushroom House" in Dallas, TX was demolished on Jan. 8.
Nothing but a pile of rubble. Designed by architect Tom Workman, who considered it his masterpiece, was bought by a local car dealership owner who also bought the 2 houses next door and had them all demolished. Here are a few photos of what it looked like inside.
Alright folks this is my dysautonomia/POTS DIY electrolytes recipe.
These ratios are the exact same ones LMNT uses for their flavorless electrolytes. It's on their website if you want to check. Potassium and magnesium are important components to maximise your body's use of the salt, as well as maintaining blood volume.
- 500g pickling salt
- 77g potassium chloride powder
- 78g di-magnesium malate powder
Single serving = 3.3g per 16 fl oz and contains 1,000mg sodium per serving
Pickling salt is stupid cheap, Morton's brand sells it for $4 at my grocery store. You want pickling salt specifically bc it dissolves the best and doesn't contain anti caking agents that otherwise cooking salt contains and makes it harder to dissolve. Some people like sea salt but I find it does not dissolve easily like pickling salt does. The other powders you can source for cheap on Amazon, I used a non Amazon source (Professional Supplements dot com) and paid $30 total for both, and the jars are 8oz which is about 230 grams so they'll make about 3 batches.
Each batch is a total 655 grams, and with each serving being 3.3 grams (a little more than 1 baking teaspoon/2.5g) per 16 fl oz, each batch gets you almost 200 servings. 200 servings for about $15 total of ingredients used = actually only about 8 cents a serving. Your upfront cost will be closer to $35-40, but that will get you ~600 serving total. (Again, if you use Amazon and your powders end up being cheaper than what I spent, you'll save even more money).
When you go to combine the ingredients for a big batch, it's best to use a kitchen scale in grams. If you can't access a scale, it may be best to make smaller batches with the same ratio and measure the best you can with a baking teaspoon, which equals 2.5 grams, or baking tablespoon = 7.5g. If you do make a big batch, you want to make sure to measure just the pickling salt first, because it might be clumpy, and you need to grind the clumps out either with a mortar and pestle or whatever's on hand. Then add your other powders and mix it really well (the other powders consistency will be extremely fine and can get in the air pretty easily kind of like powdered sugar but worse so go slow). I store mine in a glass jar with a little measuring spoon.
Lastly, if you need flavor in your electrolytes like I do, you can just buy really cheap tiny bottles of those liquid water "enhancer" flavor add ins, there are so many brands and flavors, my local grocery has their own brand and it's less than $2 for a lemonade flavored bottle and I typically go through a bottle somewhere around 2 weeks, but ymmv.
Whether you just want to save money and not spent $2 a serving on big companies preying on you or if you're like me and literally can't tolerate all the extra B vitamins in Liquid IV, I hope this saves y'all money. Peace and love on planet earth 🙏
i’m gonna cry
perfect animal
A recent conversation in a discord group reminded me of something important. If you're on the younger side (under 25 or 30) and you haven't seen all the incredible, dark and disturbing fantasy films that came out in the 1980s and late 1970s, then I would strongly encourage you to do so. There was something so dark about that genre during that time that I absolutely adore and that isn't really around in modern films for children and young adults (once they learned that it traumatized a whole generation of us).
My faves in case you need any recommendations. (Some of these are really not appropriate for children, so keep that in mind lol).
The Dark Crystal - 1982 - the Skeksis will give you nightmares. I am honestly very proud of the remake for being just as disturbing if not more so than the original.
Watership Down - 1978- NOT FOR CHILDREN - Jesus Christ why did so many of our parents show us this film at a formative age? It's all about trauma and death and displacement and there's literal blood and murder. Not a G Rated Film. Still, it's very good. Loads better than that CGI remake from a decade ago.
The Secret Of NIMH - 1982 - Incredible movie. Minor disturbing elements. Probably my favorite on the list. It's just a great adventure story with real world issues (animal experimentation, mental health problems, disabilities) and there's even a lovely romance. Highly recommend.
Legend - 1985- This film is just straight up disturbing. Yes, there's a lot of beautiful shots of unicorns and sexy, 20-something year old (insane Scientology wack job) Tom Cruise and gorgeous Mia Sara, but there's also torture, madness and literally the Devil (Tim Curry is the entire reason you should watch this film)
Labyrinth - 1986 - I only really have two words. David. Bowie. My 10 year old self found out about a lot of burgeoning kinks while watching that man prance around in eyeliner and a codpiece. It's a wonderful adventure as well - if you ignore the blatant romantic and sexual tension between Bowie and an underage Jennifer Connelly (none of us could)
The NeverEnding Story - 1984 - Lots of disturbing imagery in this one! The Nothing was fucking terrifying, and the creatures in this world seemed uniformly creepy, but still incredibly well done. Love the adventure of it.
The Princess Bride - 1987 - Not technically a kids film maybe? Lots of adult themes and adult jokes, but safe for kids imo. I adored it and still do. Incredible performances by Cary Elwes and Mandy Patinkin. R.O.U.S, Hello! My name is Inigo Montoya! (need I say more?)
The Last Unicorn - 1982 - A beautiful film with stunning representations of innocence, good and evil. Just gorgeous really. I should rewatch it as it's been 20 years or so.
______________
Adding a couple...
LadyHawk.
A romance / Action film about a knight and a maiden who are cursed. Her to transform into a hawk during the day & him into a wolf at night. Forever keeping them apart.
DragonSlayer
A coming of age tale about a wizard apprentice who must save a village from a dragon & the sacrifice lottery the village has established around it.
(Rare example of 1980s genderfuckery)
Willow
LOTR before we ever thought a LOTR film would ever be possible. You've probably seen this one, but just in case.
The Flight of Dragons
Transplanted into the body of a dragon a scientist must come to terms with magic, even while explaining it.
Krull
Classic adventure story severely undervalued in its time.
Some of the creepiest spider stop motion to ever exist.
A double batch of pumking bread with maple cream cheese frosting for all the holiday parties this weekend
It's a tried and true recipe for me and I like it better than banana bread, because I can keep all the ingredients for it on hand and it's fast to make. The full loaf (as opposed to the mini loaves) takes about 45 min to bake--check with toothpick. For the icing, cream together everything but the powdered sugar first, then add the sugar slowly. and it is important that the butter and cream cheese are room temp and soft, they won't combine right if they're chilled.
Lately my brother and I have been obsessed with a show called Sherlock Hound. If you read that and thought: what, a beautiful 1984 anime Sherlock Holmes adaption where everyone is anthropomorphic dogs? You would be correct.
Sherlock, is, obviously, a hound, Watson is a Scottish Terrier, Lestrade is some kind of bulldog I think, and Moriarty is some kind of weird purple rat-dog. Moriarty is the culprit in basically every episode and has been completely team-rocket-ified. Everyone in the dub has the most insane british accents you have ever heard.
It's also genuinely very beautiful to look at with a lovely soundtrack, and has many episodes directed by none other than Hayao Miyazaki himself. As evidenced by:
Moriarty's weird flying machine
This little girl who is just ponyo (but a dog but also strawberry shortcake)
This very nonsensically complicated coin pressing machine, among other things
Professor Moriarty is everything you could ever ask for in a cartoon villain: cape, monocle, cane, unwavering overconfidence, says things like "You gormless twit!", pronounces normal words in a way that cannot be described, only experienced, and of course followed by two poor henchmen, Smiley and Todd.
Todd is the only one without a british accent, sounding like a new york city mobster, which we can only imagine hints to an in-world henchman-exchange program.
I don't want to say anything about Ms. Hudson because the episodes with her taking a front seat that we've watched so far are too good to spoil.
Let's just say: she's perfect.
This has been by Sherlock Hound PSA. Thank you for your time.