A funny story with a dark twist... @emberever - Tumblr Blog

Posts

catasters

lily-frog

goodnight :)

nvpengyou

when cats hold each other >>>>>>>

nvpengyou

like this

whitmerule

all my blorbos 🥺

crazy-brazilian

orteil42

i love when i “make a mental note” of something. it’s gone within 20 seconds

anxietyproblem

tiktoksijustthinkareneat

catasters

wearesorcerer

Item: pot of color change.

funnytwittertweets

what-even-is-thiss

I used to wonder how people survived things like war or depression or famine. I used to wonder if they just sat around all day feeling sad.

I was too young to understand this when 9/11 or the Great Recession hit, but with all the events in the past few years I’ve figured something out.

Food still needs to be eaten, hugs still need to be given, minds still need to be entertained. It doesn’t matter if you’re a broken husk of your former self and everyone else around you is too. You still need nourishment in both body and soul.

And because of that, you don’t sit in your house all day staring at the wall. You do stuff. You dig around until you find those good emotions. They mix in with the bad ones better then you’d expect them to. Except for the times when they don’t. And that’s fine. Because for now you’re still alive and finding some good emotions still stuck in the toes of your stockings that you’d forgotten about. Maybe mixed in with some grit and gunk, but they’re there.

And this isn’t a unique thing that we’re going through, really. All throughout history the survivors of various things have done the exact same things. They cooked dinner as the bombs went off and told stories as the mass burials happened outside.

And even when you fall off the brink and do collapse you still wake up the next morning. And then maybe you brush your teeth and maybe you don’t. Maybe you cry and maybe you don’t. But there’s still a crumb of hope stuck in the toe of your sock that you can’t quite get out no matter how many times it goes through the wash. And there’s something if not comforting, then at least interesting about the fact that everyone around you is going through, if not the same thing, a similar thing. A similar storm in slightly different raincoats.

So you get out of bed, you eat something if you’ve got something to eat, you chew ice if you don’t, and you continue to do something. What exactly that something is will continue to change, will continue to be unclear, but you do something, because that’s the only thing you can do.

cheeseanonioncrisps

“Ordinary life did not stop just because kings rose and fell, Mosca realized. People adapted. If the world turned upside down, everyone ran and hid in their houses, but a very short while later, if all seemed quiet, they came out again and started selling each other potatoes.”

— Frances Hardinge, Fly By Night

micro-usb-deactivated20230625

cosmicgallant

soupinmyshoe-deactivated2022122

The only two replies on this tho

andhumanslovedstories

Bumper stickers shouldn’t be like political opinions and fandoms. They should solely be facts about you and you’re driving that other driver’s might like to know. I want a bumper sticker that says “I’m scared of left turns and I know you can make a right on red but this car doesn’t turn so good in the rain so we’re gonna wait until it’s green.” They’ll still honk but I’ll know I’ve pled my case before my peers.

unfuckyourhabitat

Emergency cleaning: Unfuck your whole house in the shortest time possible

So, your landlord/parents/home inspector/favorite movie star is dropping by, and your place is a disaster. You don’t have much time to clean it up. You’re in emergency mode. Let’s get started.

Don’t panic. Panic leads to fear, fear leads to procrastination, procrastination leads to the dark side. You can do this, but you have to stay calm.

Unlike maintenance cleaning, we’re not looking to completely unfuck one space at a time. Instead, we want to decrease the overall mess in stages, spread evenly across the whole area that we’re concerned about. If you think your home is at Level 10 filth, we want to bring the whole thing down to a Level 9, and then down from there. One really clean spot in an otherwise messy home is not going to be helpful here.

Get prepared. You’ll want to shut the computer down (or turn the modem off if you need your computer to play music). Trust me. Get your music going. Gather up trash bags, your vacuum and mop, some rags or paper towel, sponges, and other cleaning supplies. Use what you have on hand. Don’t get distracted running to the store and spending an hour browsing cleaning supplies. A multi-purpose cleaning concentrate or a jug of vinegar will be just fine.

Breaks are very important. Depending on your time constraints, work in 20/10s (20 minutes working, 10-minute break) or 45/15s. But take breaks because otherwise you’re marathoning, and marathon cleaning is no one’s friend. Keep hydrated, don’t forget to eat, and check in with yourself frequently to make sure you’re physically doing OK.

Make your bed. This will be your home base if you get overwhelmed or need somewhere clear to take a break.

Start with the garbage. Going from room to room, throw out anything that is obvious trash. Once you fill a bag, take it out. Repeat as many times as necessary.

Move on to dishes. Gather the dishes from all over your house and bring them to the kitchen. If you can, start them soaking in a sink of hot, soapy water or start loading the dishwasher. After the dishes are all in one place, spend one 20/10 getting started getting them under control.

Now it’s time for your flat surfaces. Countertops, tables, dresser tops, etc. Clear them off and wipe them down. Don’t get distracted in too much sorting and organizing. We’re in crisis mode here. There will be time to get in-depth once this is all done. The same applies to cabinets and closets. Unless you have reason to believe people will be opening closed doors, leave these alone for now.

Attack the floordrobe and shoe pile. Get your clothes either put away or in the hamper. Start a load of laundry if you need to, but keep in mind that laundry and dishes have three steps: wash, dry, and put it away, goddammit!

Get random stuff up off the floors. If something is trash-worthy, throw it away now rather than just move it around a bunch of times. Otherwise, put stuff where it belongs.

Take another 20/10 or 45/15 to catch up on more dishes, if needed.

Head into the bathroom. Pour some cleaner in the toilet bowl, fill the sink with hot water and cleaner, and either spray the tub and shower with cleaner, or fill the tub up with some hot water and add cleaner and let it soak. Put everything away that’s out and shouldn’t be, clean the mirror, counters, and toilet seat. Sweep or dry mop the floor. Wipe down the sink and tub/shower, and give the toilet bowl a scrub. Mop the floor.

Sweep and mop the kitchen floor.

Vacuum everything you can, and sweep everything you can’t.

Walk outside of your house (don’t lock yourself out, please). Walk back in and see what catches your eye first. Go and deal with that.

If you’re being inspected or your landlord is coming in for repairs, spend time on whatever area they’ll be focusing on.

Give the whole place one more once-over and pay attention to anything you’ve missed so far.

It’s an old trick, but if your place is a little funky-smelling, put a pan of water on the stove on low heat and add some citrus or cinnamon or vanilla. Don’t leave it unattended or forget about it.

Take a shower, put on something clean, and eat something.

You can do this. It’s overwhelming, yes, but it is not impossible. You just need to do it. You have a list. You have directions. You have a whole bunch of Internet strangers who have been there before and who are cheering you on. You can do this, but you need to get started.

Why are you still here? GO. START. NOW.

river-b

the number of times in my past that I desperately wanted/needed someone to sit me down and tell me this stuff. I will never get back the hours and hours lost to headless-chicken mode, but it’s nice to know that in the last year I’ve learned so many coping mechanisms :D

pugsandshrugs

So why do you think you are suited to this position?

What are your achievements so far?

What are your ambitions. in reference previous education and work history?

ladybeug

He can’t. He’s bad at drawing.

I drew this a month ago, made myself cry laughing about it, and then completely forgot about it until now, when I picked up my sketchbook

homunculus-argument

this emerged in my head when I was trying to drive

oldblankcanv-deactivated2022011

May I propose the fill ins?

rat-in-impossible-location

#i am undiagnosing myself with 'adhd' and rediagnosing myself with 'cursed by wizard'

neilnevins-deactivated20240617

Bugs Bunny could singlehandedly defeat Thanos by dressing up as a TSA agent and setting up a metal detector in the middle of the battlefield saying that all metal objects must be removed if you want to pass on through now stick around for my 2,000 word essay on just how effectively he would convince The Mad Titan to comply

neilnevins-deactivated20240617

“For shame, doc! Dontcha know we got other folks waiting?”

(Thanos looks behind him and sees dozens of Bugs Bunnies dressed as angry yelling travelers with huge bags of luggage. Thanos rubs his neck guiltily and begins sliding off the gauntlet)