A lot of internet-famous people--guy who can pick any lock, guy who can make anything out of chocolate, guy who can drink lots of water without spilling a drop--are like characters a five-year-old would make up for a comic book.
sheepfilms
AnasAbdin
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will byers stan first human second

oozey mess

if i look back, i am lost
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trying on a metaphor
Claire Keane
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

pixel skylines

Product Placement
ojovivo
occasionally subtle
cherry valley forever

JVL
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One Nice Bug Per Day
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@enderverus
A lot of internet-famous people--guy who can pick any lock, guy who can make anything out of chocolate, guy who can drink lots of water without spilling a drop--are like characters a five-year-old would make up for a comic book.
When Mobei Jun first learned Luo Binghe was Shang Qinghua's son he was devastated. Also confused, as he had known Shang Qinghua from before Tianlang Jun had been sealed away and had no idea when Shang Qinghua had managed to fit seducing the demon emperor into his schedule. But Shang Qinghua had always done the impossible, and it seemed that here it was again.
It reframed Shang Qinghua's request for Mobei Jun to give up and swear loyalty to Luo Binghe too. This wasn't Shang Qinghua not believing in his king, or choosing another. This was Shang Qinghua not wishing to see Mobei Jun continue to hurt the son he clearly cared for but had never let close. An understandable choice, considering human/demon relations.
Things were different now. Shang Qinghua openly stood at Mobei Jun's side. Luo Binghe had grown in strength. He was a terribly awkward boy, but Mobei Jun chose to overlook that. His heavenly demon heritage was powerful, and he would not turn away Shang Qinghua's son. Mobei Jun patiently did his best to step in and teach Luo Binghe about being a demon, and give him the care that he knew Shang Qinghua would want him to receive.
Things were going well. Slowly but surely Luo Binghe was learning demon culture. He was still awkward, but it appeared more endearing than a reason to try and flatten the boy now. Mobei Jun felt they had bonded well. Luo Binghe even came to him now asking for advice.
So it was that today in court he announced Luo Binghe as his adopted eldest child
This might be the weirdest au I've thought of yet (totally not inspired by watching Analog Horror videos all day or anything): Jurassic Park AU.
Luo Binghe is a juvenile Indoraptor, hatched only a year ago. He's cunning, adaptive, and most importantly...not having a great time. The scientists decided early on that, because of his raptor heritage, it would be best for him to be raised with other raptors. The raptors disagreed, and when shit hit the fan for every human on the island and dinosaurs took over, Binghe was quickly abandoned.
Lost and a bit toasted on the blackening scale, he wanders into trouble and comes out the other side victorious but severely injured.
Enter Shen Yuan, a lonely dilophosaurus.
Scientists made him awhile back. They wanted something larger than the first batch they made, so here he is. Existing. There were others like him, but...well, things happened. They might still be out there, but if they are, he hasn't found them.
He did find this weird Raptor, though! It's a bit odd looking and super hissy, but hey, what can't eat him is either food or friend!
And so proceeds this strange dilo to adopt this freaky raptor as...pack? Binghe isn't sure. Binghe isn't sure about anything where this dilo is concerned. He expects his weakness to be prayed on, but instead gets food dropped off right in front of him, being guarded while he rests, and...softly cooed at?? Shen Yuan even chases off other predators for him. Gets injuries in fights over him.
Binghe imprints on him *so hard.* That's HIS Dilophosaurus now. He loves him. Other dinosaurs get wrecked if they so much as hint at preying on his Shen Yuan!
Shen Yuan is just happy to have company again. Traveling around by himself was terribly boring.
AU where Luo Binghe can smell other people's emotions Omegaverse-style
I'm a big fan of the headcanon that Luo Binghe had sharper senses even before his seal broke. Stuff like hearing, vision, balance, and others. But one sense that he finds more useful than others is his heightened sense of smell.
Even as a child Binghe's sense of smell is freaky good. Sure, he can smell common things that could be explained by a naturally strong nose. Like, he can always tell when it's going to rain, or when the food is starting to go bad, or when someone is about to be sick. But if those things seem natural, his ability to distinguish people by smell alone is not.
Luo Binghe's ability to smell people is crazy strong. He can distinguish people by smell with his eyes closed. He can always tell why two people sneak out together. He can guess when they came into the room and when they left.
He can also smell people's emotions. Ok, well, calling it smelling people's emotions is a bit of an overstatement. But he can smell one (1) emotion. I imagine Binghe conceptualizes this emotion as "a feeling of general unrest," as he senses this particular smell only from people who are angry or scared or very upset.
(It's cortisol. Baby Binghe is smelling cortisol. But he doesn't know what cortisol is, so for him it's an emotion that is opposite to calm.)
For the longest time, Binghe doesn't realize that there is something abnormal about his sense of smell. Well, he knows it's stronger compared to other people's, and he is very happy to help his adoptive mother. But when it comes to smelling people, he assumes that everyone can do that. For him, distinguishing people by smell seems just as natural as distinguishing them by their face or their voice or the sound of their footsteps. And his ability to smell the unrest on people is just as normal as guessing emotions based on smiles or tears or tense posture or raised voice.
Only when one day he tells his mama that one of their masters "smelled angry" does he realize that it's something he needs to hide. She never says that there is something wrong with him. She ensures that Binghe knows that she loves him. But she can't allow Luo Binghe to accidentally put himself in danger by revealing too much to wrong people. So Binghe never tells anyone about his smell, or vision, or hearing.
Still, Binghe spends his early years relying on his heightened sense of smell. Sometimes for convenience, but mostly for safety. It's very convenient to know which people he should be wary of, especially when it comes to nobles. After all, they love to hide their true feelings to save their face. It's very easy to accidentally get in the way of a frustrated young master. But no one can hide the anger in their smell. So Luo Binghe uses his ability to evade people who smell like upset/anger/fear.
In the end, Luo Binghe's sense of smell doesn't save his mother. He smells the illnesses on her and her upcoming death. He still goes to get her some congee anyway. He still comes back only to find her dead.
He continues using his sense of smell while living on the streets. What food doesn't smell as rotten? Which people smell like danger? When is it going to rain? Where are there too many animals in one place?
Luo Binghe receives his first level up to his sense of smell after he arrives at Qing Jing Peak.
In an alternate universe where Lightning somehow convinces Doc to get an Instagram account, Lightning almost immediately regrets it.
You know when you spend years carefully curating your feed- editing, airbrushing, and captioning every single photo to perfection- only for that one older family member to post the most unhinged, unflattering picture of you and tag you in it? Yeah, that’s Doc.
Lightning’s profile is a work of art. Every photo is glammed up, perfectly lit, and carefully posed. Take his birthday post, for example: a stunning shot of him in a designer outfit, looking like a doll, not a single crease or flaw on his perfect face.
The caption? Another year older, another year faster.
Meanwhile, Doc- who just learned how to use Instagram- posts a photo from the same event. It’s a completely candid slightly blurry shot of Lightning mid-laugh, grinning wide while passing Doc a plate with a slice of cake. The angle is terrible. Lightning was sitting down at the table while Doc was towering over him. His eyes look huge, his grin is so wide it reveals his cheek dimples and his hair is messy. If Lightning wasn’t so concerned with what people think, he’d realise it’s an oddly charming photo. He looks adorable.
But Lightning is horrified. There is a loud stream of panicked remarks consisting of “delete this right now,” and “I look like a big-eyed bug” and “you don’t understand - I have an image to keep up.”
Doc, hardly glancing up from his phone, merely states “you look better when you’re actually smiling.”
Piston Cup fans, of course, love Doc’s account. Its a stark contrast to Lightning’s PR-approved highlights.
Lightning’s post after winning a Piston Cup: A stock image-style paparazzi shot of him on stage, holding the trophy with a dazzling smile. Confetti and champagne in the background.
The caption? Hard work pays off. #Champion #Blessed
Doc’s post after Lightning wins a Piston Cup: Lightning the next morning, slumped on his couch in the trailer, still in his race suit. He can hardly open his eyes. His hair is a mess. He’s eating cereal and milk straight out of the Piston Cup.
The caption? Winner’s breakfast...
Driven to Win🏁🏆
I'm actually not good at racing games. I always end up with Lightning McQueen in last place, I'm sorry🥺
BREAKING NEWS: Baby eldritch horror gets yoinked by scum villain. More at 10.
Shen Yuan transmigrates into a widower (demon or cultivator, idc), and immediately sets about using this aspect of his character as a convenient excuse to protect him from being perceived as a threat to one Lord Binghe the Harem-Builder. He commits himself so hard to the bit that people genuinely think he's still in deep mourning for his wife and can never get over her. Luo Binghe falls for The Hot Widower and desperately tries to convince him to open his heart to one more, and see beyond his late wife. His many attempts at wooing only convince Shen Yuan even more that Binghe is testing Shen Yuan's likelihood of attempting to steal Binghe's unethical amount of wives, which pushes him to commit even harder to the bit. He completely ignores the fact that Binghe doesn't even have a girlfriend, let alone a harem. Rinse and repeat until someone dies.
weirdo
Happy 15th birthday to Nyan Cat! The post above is the original and first post of the 8bit kitty back on April 2nd, 2011.
I drew it as a cake to celebrate 🎂🐈⬛✨
It’s you // it’s me
Orpheus // Eurydice
[ Doubt comes in - Hadestown ]
They made me very sad
“what’s the worst fruit” i hope you fucking die im strangling you what the hell is wrong with you. ‘the worst fruit’… has god not made all of these fruits in the same light???? cunt
Red Delicious Apples
5th from the bottom on applerankings.com
May I someday gain the same level of succinct cutting vitriol criticism as the applerankings.
Ok fine I'm coming back
Svsss short au
Disciple SY goes on a little mission with LQG & SJ, and they end up camping out. Imagine Sy’s surprise seeing the way they eat. SJ tears into his food wildly, stuffing his mouth as if he doesn’t know when the next time he’ll get a meal will be. He glares at SY at the slightest movement, shuffling back and keeping a wary eye on him as he continues scarfing things down. When he’s done the bowl is completely clean, not a grain left in there.
Liu Qingge on the other hand has proper sitting posture and eats refined. He’s eating with such grace that clearly doesn’t match the way he usually acts. He’s careful to avoid chewing too loudly and when he’s done he puts his chopsticks down silently and sits quietly, beginning shutting his eyes as if in meditation.
SY just stares at them incredulously, and LQG & SJ both respond to his confused look with a synchronized “what?”