i hear your âslow progress is still progressâ and raise you âsometimes you will find yourself making no progress and that is okayâ
weâre human and weâre not always going to be progressing every minute of our lives, and sometimes we need extra help to get to where we want to be and thereâs nothing wrong with that
And sometimes you make progress in areas that are 'unimportant'. Allow yourself the time you need to be healthy, and embrace your hyperfixations. Progress can be working in your assignment/homework/study/chores, or it can be learning a new hairstyle, brushing your teeth, tidying a bookshelf, messaging/calling/seeing a loved one. One of the best ways to be productive is to take a step, no matter what that is. Progress is just movement, you get to pick the direction.
This shot through my brain like a chain of firecrackers, so, without derailing the original post, I have some THOUGHTS to add about why this concept is not only hilarious (because it is), but also...
It. It kind of fucks. Severely.
And in a delightfully Pratchett-y way, I'd dare to suggest.
I'll explain:
As inferred above, both Crowley AND Aziraphale have canonical Biblical counterparts. Not by name, no, but by function.
Crowley, of course, is the serpent of Eden.
(note on the serpent of Eden: In Genesis 3:1-15, at least, the serpent is not identified as anything other than a serpent, albeit one that can talk. Later, it will be variously interpreted as a traitorous agent of Hell, as a demon, as a guise of Satan himself, etc. In Good Omens --as a slinky ginger who walks funny)
Lesser known, at least so far as I can tell, is the flaming sword. It, too, appears in Genesis 3, in the very last line:
"So he drove out the man; and placed at the east of the garden of Eden Cherubims, and a flaming sword which turned every way, to keep the way of the tree of life."
--Genesis 3:24, KJV
Thanks to translation ambiguity, there is some debate concerning the nature of the flaming sword --is it a divine weapon given unto one of the Cherubim (if so, why only one)? Or is it an independent entity, which takes the form of a sword (as other angelic beings take the form of wheels and such)? For our purposes, I don't think the distinction matters. The guard at the gate of Eden, whether an angel wielding the sword or an angel who IS the sword, is Aziraphale.
(note on the flaming sword: in some traditions --Eastern Orthodox, for example-- it is held that upon Christ's death and resurrection, the flaming sword gave up it's post and vanished from Eden for good. By these sensibilities, the removal of the sword signifies the redemption and salvation of man.
...Put a pin in that. We're coming back to it.)
So, we have our pair. The Serpent and the Sword, introduced at the beginning and the end (ha) of the very same chapter of Genesis.
But here's the important bit, the bit that's not immediately obvious, the bit that nonetheless encapsulates one of the central themes, if not THE central theme, of Good Omens:
The Sword was never intended to guard Eden while Adam and Eve were still in it.
Do you understand?
The Sword's function was never to protect them. It doesn't even appear until after they've already fallen. No... it was to usher Adam and Eve from the garden, and then keep them out. It was a threat. It was a punishment.
The flaming sword was given to be used against them.
So. We have our pair. The Serpent and the Sword: the inception and the consequence of original sin, personified. They are the one-two punch that launches mankind from paradise, after Hell leads it to destruction and Heaven condemns it for being destroyed. Which is to say that despite being, supposedly, hereditary enemies on two different sides of a celestial cold war, they are actually unified by one purpose, one pivotal role to play in the Divine Plan: completely fucking humanity over.
That's how it's supposed to go. It is written.
...But, in Good Omens, they're not just the Serpent and the Sword.
They're Crowley and Aziraphale.
(author begins to go insane from emotion under the cut)
In Good Omens, humanity is handed it's salvation (pin!) scarcely half an hour after losing it. Instead of looming over God's empty garden, the sword protects a very sad, very scared and very pregnant girl. And no, not because a blameless martyr suffered and died for the privilege, either.
It was just that she'd had such a bad day. And there were vicious animals out there. And Aziraphale worried she would be cold.
...I need to impress upon you how much this is NOT just a matter of being careless with company property. With this one act of kindness, Aziraphale is undermining the whole entire POINT of the expulsion from Eden. God Herself confronts him about it, and he lies. To God.
And the Serpent--
(Crowley, that is, who wonders what's so bad about knowing the difference between good and evil anyway; who thinks that maybe he did a GOOD thing when he tempted Eve with the apple; who objects that God is over-reacting to a first offense; who knows what it is to fall but not what it is to be comforted after the fact...)
--just goes ahead and falls in love with him about it.
As for Crowley --I barely need to explain him, right? People have been making the 'didn't the serpent actually do us a solid?' argument for centuries. But if I'm going to quote one of them, it may as well be the one Neil Gaiman wrote ficlet about:
"If the account given in Genesis is really true, ought we not, after all, to thank this serpent? He was the first schoolmaster, the first advocate of learning, the first enemy of ignorance, the first to whisper in human ears the sacred word liberty, the creator of ambition, the author of modesty, of inquiry, of doubt, of investigation, of progress and of civilization."
--Robert G. Ingersoll
The first to ask questions.
Even beyond flattering literary interpretation, we know that Crowley is, so often, discreetly running damage control on the machinations of Heaven and Hell. When he can get away with it. Occasionally, when he can't (1827).
And Aziraphale loves him for it, too. Loves him back.
And so this romance plays out over millennia, where they fall in love with each other but also the world, because of each other and because of the world. But it begins in Eden. Where, instead of acting as the first Earthly example of Divine/Diabolical collusion and callousness--
(other examples --the flood; the bet with Satan; the back channels; the exchange of Holy Water and Hellfire; and on and on...)
--they refuse. Without even necessarily knowing they're doing it, they just refuse. Refuse to trivialize human life, and refuse to hate each other.
To write a story about the Serpent and the Sword falling in love is to write a story about transgression.
Not just in the sense that they are a demon and an angel. That's part of it, yeah, but the greater part of it is that they are THIS demon and angel, in particular. From The Real Bible's Book of Genesis, in the chapter where man falls.
It's the sort of thing you write and laugh. And then you look at it. And you think. And then you frown, and you sit up a little straighter. And you think.
And then you write some more.
And what emerges hits you like a goddamn truck.
(...A lot of Pratchett reads that way. I believe Gaiman when he says Pratchett would have been happy with the romance, by the way. I really really do).
It's a story about transgression, about love as transgression. They break the rules by loving each other, by loving creation, and by rejecting the hatred and hypocrisy that would have triangulated them as a unified blow against humanity, before humanity had even really got started. And yeah, hell, it's a queer romance too, just to really drive the point home (oh, that!!! THAT!!!)
...I could spend a long time wildly gesturing at this and never be satisfied. Instead of watching me do that (I'll spare you), please look at this gif:
I love this shot so much.
Look at Eve and Crowley moving, at the same time in the same direction, towards their respective wielders of the flaming sword. Adam reaches out and takes her hand; Aziraphale reaches out and covers him with a wing.
You know what a shot like that establishes? Likeness. Commonality. Kinship.
"Our side" was never just Crowley and Aziraphale. Crowley says as much at the end of season 1 ("--all of us against all of them."). From the beginning, "our side" was Crowley, Aziraphale, and every human being on the planet. Lately that's around 8 billion, but once upon a time it was just two other people. Another couple. The primeval mother and father.
But Adam and Eve die, eventually. Humanity grows without them. It's Crowley and Aziraphale who remain, and who protect it. Who...oversee it's upbringing.
24 THINGS TO LOVE ABOUT RM AND STOP SLEEPING ON HIM:
His smile aka dimples
His shy side
His smart side
His dorky side
His caring side
His rude side
His cute side
His love for little creatures
His done side
His creative side
His teaser sideÂ
His cute hearts
His passion for music
His rapping skills
His collabs
His genius producing
His confident side
His questionable culinary skills
His bare arms
His perfect english
His Sailor Moon cosplay
His destructive side
His amazing speeches
And his love for his fans and team
And I didnât mention his big heart, his increadible mind, his deep thoughts, his leedership skills and so on. This man is beyond what the universe describes as perfect yet so humble. And you tell me some of you canât see that?
1. Humans say âowâ, even if they havenât actually been hurt. Itâs just a thing they say when they think they might have been hurt, but arenât sure yet.
2. Humans collect shiny things and decorate their bodies and nests with them. The shinier the better, although each individual has a unique taste for style and colouring
3. Humans are not an aquatic or even amphibious species, but they flock to bodies of water simply to play in it. They canât even hold their breath all that long; they just love to splash!
4. When night falls and the sky goes dark, humans become drowsy and begin to cocoon themselves in soft, fluffy bedding.
5. Some humans spend time in each otherâs nests! Just for fun! Itâs not their nest; theyâre just visiting each other.
6. Some humans use pigments and dyes to make their bodies flashy and colourful! They even attach shiny dangly bits to their cartalidgous membranes!
7. Humans are very clever, and sometimes adopt creatures from other species into their family units. They donât seem to notice the obvious differences, and often raise them alongside their own young!
8. If a human sees another creature in distress, they can commonly be observed trying to help! Even at their own risk, most humans are deeply compassionate creatures!
9. If a human hears a particularity catchy sound or tune, it will often mimic it, even to the point of annoying themselves!
10. Sneezes are entirely involuntary, and completely adorable. Especially when the human in question becomes frustrated
11. Humans love treats!!! Some more than others. Many humans will save these treats specifically for a later date when they are in need of comfort or reassurance. IE, pickles, pop tarts, Popsicles, etc
12. Theyâre learning to travel in space!!! They canât get very far, but theyâre trying!!! So far, theyâve made it to the end of their yard, and have found rocks
Hereâs an interesting thread that I came across on Twitter. Iâm not sure if anyone would be interested in this but, itâs a good thread assessing stan culture from a psych perspective.
basic (true) story: fanatical russian monk who has almost never shaved or washed and smells like goats shows up at the russian capital with a creepy look on his beardy face and everyone just assumes heâs a prophet or a saint because heâs got a cult following that believes he can cure illnesses. his stans are sexually obsessed with him and he gets just a fuckton of russian pussy wherever he goes cause apparently he can cure his true believers of illness with god-given dick magic. russiaâs queen has him come stay at the palace and sets him up in luxury because she thinks he can cure her sonâs haemophilia with the power of russian goat jesus, and they (allegedly) become lovers, probably, âcause she craves that unwashed goat-scented dick like the rest of his cult which she now (allegedly) belongs to.Â
then the worst assassins in the history of assassinations try to assassinate him, because all of russia is slutshaming the queen he has too much power over the royal family and itâs helping revolutionaries turn people against the royals. so these idiots have him round for tea and cakes which are poisoned with cyanide, but he is magically unaffected by poison they get the dose wrong and he doesnât die, and then he drinks three glasses of wine, which are also poisoned, and he doesnât die, so they tell him to look at a crucifix and shoot him in the chest with a revolver when he isnât looking, and he doesnât die, but they think heâs dead so one of them dresses in his clothes and gets driven to his apartment to make it look like heâs gone home to hide the crime, and when they come back he gets up and attacks them, so they stab him in the side with a knife, and he doesnât die, and then he frees himself and runs outside, so they shoot him a few times more, including in the forehead, and they wrap his body up and chuck him in the icy river, and he doesnât go into the water, so his body is found on the ice the next day. and get thisâŚ. he diedâŚ. of hypothermia.
additionally, everyone who wasnt in the party of getting rid of rasputin was pretty bummed out when they found him and his miracle dick dead the next day and there was a pretty bangin funeral of which the royal family themselves attended. however after the tsar was overthrown a few month later they exhumed his body and burned it because the new leadership was very adamant about making sure there were no ties left to honor the old monarchy. however this dudes body had never been properly prepped for a cremation which meant that under the extreme heat his tendons and ligaments began to retract and shrink causing his dead body to move and twitch around as if still animate. according to some testimony his body actually sat up straight on the pyre, and at least one spectator fired a gun at the body and another may have allegedly died of shock.
true fact: when i was a young child, i used to ask my mom to draw cat whiskers on my face with eyeliner. the cat whiskers truly do come from within! @phanwithdogs @dreamdilddy @accio-phan
My middle fingers bend at a freakish angle at the joint above my knuckle so whenever I try to swear at someone they just start laughing and itâs getting annoying at this point.
(Reblogging it here to organize) Iâve seen Meet the Robinsons over 30 times (and have it memorized) @novagalaxy4real @pattonscardigan @creepy-cupcakes
I am dutch and like I CAN swimm but I am not good at it and I am slow(my swimming diploma A, there are 3 normal swimming diplomaâs, took me over a damned year)
I rarely get pimples on my faceâŚI donât know if thatâs an interesting fact or not⌠@endmetrash @mohriarty(tagging you even though I doubt you will give away any information that isnât already known) and @nerd173
G-DRAGON, TAEYANG, NAMJOON DADDY, CHIM CHIM, MOMMA JIN, BABY SQUINTY, JAY PARK, SUGA TO MY COFFEE, MY HOPE HOBI, BABY JEON JUNGKOOKIE, TAEHYUNG SWEETIE, MINHYUK BUNNY, ZELO HONEY, ZICO BABY, BAM BAM MY BEAUTIFUL SWEET MAKANE + 10 MILLION MORE I CANâT NAME OFF OF THE TOP OF MY HEAD @j-hope-hoe
JAEBUM, MARK TUAN, JACKSON WANG, JINYOUNG, YOUNGJAE, BAMBAM, YUGYEOM, JIN, NAMJOON, YOONGI, HOSEOK, JIMIN, TAEHYUNG, JUNGKOOK, DEAN, JAY PARK, CRUSH, MOMO, JENNIE, JISOO, LISA, ROSĂ, CRUSH (JFC I NEED TO CONTROL MYSELF)
Only picking the nice dialogue options. Carrying around way too much stuff because âwhat if it might be helpful later?â  Pausing a fight because youâre about to die and need to use a health potion. Being really good at puzzles and minigames. Balancing your skills so that you do well in a fight, regardless of the circumstances. Never wearing matching armor. Fighting the same enemy over and over again and cheering when you finally beat them. Panicking whenever dark music starts to play. Having to walk everywhere because youâre carrying too much to fast-travel.
Ravenclaw:
Spending 2+ hours on the customize character screen. Getting emotionally attached to the NPCs. Using actual strategy to plan out your quests/fights. Always having a lot of money but never having anything to spend it on. Spending all of your level-up points in one category. Never getting caught when you steal things, but only taking small items because youâre afraid that someone will notice if you take something big. Wasting a lot of lockpicks on something that doesnât even have good items in it. Placing waaay too many manual map-markers because you can never find your destination otherwise.
Slytherin:Â
Spending too much time on side-quests instead of working on the main objective. Accidentally walking into a ridiculously difficult battle when youâre only level 2. Using long distance weapons to fights the enemies because youâre terrible in close combat. Forgetting what quest you were working on because you got distracted by a hunt for a random object. Actually using resistance potions/spells/e.t.c. Having conversations with companions and unlocking extra quests. Forgetting which buttons on your controller do what and having to spend a couple minutes to figure it out.
Gryffindor:
Forgetting to save and having go way back to the beginning of the quest when you die. Screaming out loud whenever something scary happens. Getting lost in a location that youâve been to 50+times. Sneaking? What is that? You run straight into the open and hope you wonât die. Not understanding what the different stats for your weapons mean and picking the one that looks the coolest. Always forgetting that you have helpful items and never using them when you need them.
