[enkadre]

I miss you and I don't like that. I miss your body against mine, I miss your smell, I miss your touch... and I don't like that. I don't wanna fall in love with you, and yet, I can feel a part of me starting to take down this path... and I don't like that. I want you to stay away and I want you close all at the same time. This is confusing, you are confusing me. This whole thing is unsettling.

[enkadre]

Vas y donc, bang ta passerelle autant que tu veux. Je la plains profondément. Et surtout : FUCK YOU

[navigatethestream]

Rejection is painful, but that pain doesn’t give anyone licence to disregard another individual’s assertion of boundaries – which is what rejection is: a drawing of lines excluding us. People are allowed to draw up whatever boundaries they like in terms of who they wish to spend time with or date. As adults we should learn to accept this and move on. But men have long been taught to disregard boundaries, as any glance at statistics of street harassment demonstrates. People learn behaviours as they grow up in many ways, and it’s not just parents but society and pop culture that teach us what’s acceptable. And these things teach us that such entitled behaviour is not only welcome, but a normal part of relationships. One of the highest rated sitcoms of all time, The Big Bang Theory, has a lead female character outline the basis of her romantic relationship with the male lead by saying: “He started to slowly wear me down.” Cue laughter. On another occasion: “He didn’t trick me, he just wore me down.” More laughs. Instead of being welcomed willingly into her life, he had to “wear” down her boundaries until she felt forced to let him in. That’s not a love story, that’s a home invasion. Films like Love Actually, The Notebook, and many others tell us that men’s persistence in the face of rejection is admirable. It’s a “struggle” that a heterosexual man must go through to “get the girl”. Showing this boundary crossing behaviour as acceptable, instead of a problem, tells men it is OK in real life. As the academic Julia Lippman noted, “depictions of these romanticized pursuit behaviors can in fact have a clear and negative impact, in that they can lead people to see stalking as a less serious crime than they otherwise would”.

Stalking, actually: why men who reject rejection are not romantic heroes by Tauriq Moosa (via navigatethestream)

[quiet--dominance-deactivated201]

Stop teaching children that there is only one person out there meant for them. Let it be easier for people to let their toxic relationships go without fear of losing “The One”.

[pythius-deactivated20171128]

Its so fucked up and weird that we don’t tell people that there will be multiple important people in their lives

[polythought]

I don’t care if you’re monogamous or polyamorous or something else entirely, this is a TRUE FACT. 

[brutereason]

So let’s be clear: getting fired because you hate women is not an equivalent hardship to getting fired because you happen to be one. People who have been disowned by their parents for being gay or transgender aren’t going to have sympathy when your mum and dad find your stash of homophobic murder fantasies and change the locks. Getting attacked for being a racist is not the same as getting attacked because you are black. The definition of oppression is not “failure to see your disgusting opinions about the relative human value of other living breathing people reflected in society at large.” Being shamed, including in public, for holding intolerant, bigoted opinions is not an infringement of your free speech. You are not fighting oppression. You are, at best, fighting criticism. If that’s the hill you really want to die on, fine, but don’t kid yourself it’s the moral high ground. I repeat: You cannot be a rebel for the status quo. It would be physically easier to go and fuck yourself, and I suggest you try.

You Are Not a Rebel | Laurie Penny (via brutereason)

[navigatethestream]

Rejection is painful, but that pain doesn’t give anyone licence to disregard another individual’s assertion of boundaries – which is what rejection is: a drawing of lines excluding us. People are allowed to draw up whatever boundaries they like in terms of who they wish to spend time with or date. As adults we should learn to accept this and move on. But men have long been taught to disregard boundaries, as any glance at statistics of street harassment demonstrates. People learn behaviours as they grow up in many ways, and it’s not just parents but society and pop culture that teach us what’s acceptable. And these things teach us that such entitled behaviour is not only welcome, but a normal part of relationships. One of the highest rated sitcoms of all time, The Big Bang Theory, has a lead female character outline the basis of her romantic relationship with the male lead by saying: “He started to slowly wear me down.” Cue laughter. On another occasion: “He didn’t trick me, he just wore me down.” More laughs. Instead of being welcomed willingly into her life, he had to “wear” down her boundaries until she felt forced to let him in. That’s not a love story, that’s a home invasion. Films like Love Actually, The Notebook, and many others tell us that men’s persistence in the face of rejection is admirable. It’s a “struggle” that a heterosexual man must go through to “get the girl”. Showing this boundary crossing behaviour as acceptable, instead of a problem, tells men it is OK in real life. As the academic Julia Lippman noted, “depictions of these romanticized pursuit behaviors can in fact have a clear and negative impact, in that they can lead people to see stalking as a less serious crime than they otherwise would”.

Stalking, actually: why men who reject rejection are not romantic heroes by Tauriq Moosa (via navigatethestream)

[isthislivingg]

Daily reminder: If they wanna talk to you, they will. If they wanna be with you, they will. If they wanna make things work, they will. Don’t let things be one sided. It’s not healthy, and it’s not fair to you.

[lynxdarkwynd]

Something I have to remind myself lately

[thefabulousweirdtrotters]

Wow! Amazing! 

[thecalminside]

If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.

Dalai Lama (via thecalminside)

[lolawashere-deactivated20240904]

Listen to Pink’s empowering words to her daughter on loving herself.

WE DON’T CHANGE. WE TAKE THE GRAVEL AND THE SHELL AND WE MAKE A PEARL.

[catesblnchett]

“It’s a form of violence, in the way that we look at women and how we expect them to look and be — for what sake? Not health, not survival, not enjoyment of life but just so you could look pretty. I’m constantly telling girls all the time everything’s airbrushed, everything’s retouched. None of us look like that.”

[talaricula]

things i am going to teach my children later: the “pick one favourite” syndrome embedded in our culture is stupid and useless

it starts at fucking pre-school, in those little get-to-know-me books, and it never ends. favourite colour? mother tongue? favourite character? best friend? favourite sport? song? movie? book? series? band? toy? no you can only pick one

and i am deeply convinced that this is intrinsically linked to one of the things that annoys me the most, which is that in our society, it’s considered a sign of maturity to prioritise one thing, and often specifically one person, above everything else. i mean, priorities are definitely important, but you are also absolutely allowed to equally enjoy/love/feel connected to different things without constructing some kind of hierarchy where one of them always wins out

“you can only like one gender, you can only be one (of the two “biological” - ha) genders, you can only have one partner, you must have one best friend, you must have one favourite activity (preferably your job, bc that makes you a functional member of society) because clearly if you love multiple things, you must love them less than if you spent all that love on one thing”

this rhetoric creates so much guilt and jealousy - as if love is a finite concept.

(incidentally it is also possible to genuinely love something without it being one of the things you love the most, and that doesn’t make that love any less valid, but that’s another discussion)

[monochoosespoly]

Poly relationships w/out primaries

Primary indicates 1st / most important / one who’s needs “trump” another’s should there be conflict of need. Primary can not exist w/out secondary. This relationship model is ONE of many in polyamorous situations. 

My poly partner is my primary partner as I am monogamous. For Him however, this idea of primary partner does not exist. Choices might have to be made for scheduling and some relationships are more entangled than others (family, financial ties/children etc) and each relationship has it’s unique set up but nope, no primaries. 

This my mono folks, has been a VERY BIG hurdle to get over. What got me over it you ask… time and proof by action. His actions. 

[anightvaleintern-blog1]

So my therapist said something awhile back and it’s really stuck with me.

I was talking about the stupid things I had done in high school.  How the stories I wrote were stupid and how all I ever wanted to draw was anime shit (which was stupid) and how immature I could be, etc etc etc.

and she was like “Why are you so determined to beat up on Little Maggie?”

It took me off guard, I was like “what do you mean?”

“Why do you keep saying Little Maggie is stupid?  You say she was stupid and immature but wasn’t she just a teenager?  Do you not like who you were as a teenager?”

I shrugged and was like “I think teenage me was very creative and was probably just having fun and being a teenager…”

“So why beat up on her and call her stupid and embarrassing?”

“I dunno, because I guess now I’ve learned a lot.”

“But she was young.  She didn’t know.  I’m just telling you this because if you keep beating up on Little Maggie, you have to remember that she grows up to be you.  When you put bruises and scars on Little Maggie, you’re leaving all the healing for Big Maggie.  Your insecurity about who you were as a child is going to come through into your adulthood.  Be nice to Little Maggie.”

And I’d never really thought of that before?  It seems status quo to just… hate who you used to be for not knowing enough, but that’s totally illogical.  Of course a younger version of you doesn’t know what you know and can’t act with the wisdom that you act.

And even if Little Maggie was writing silly stories about her friends while ripping off anime and drawing her own “manga” and being immature and goofy, she was having fun, she was being creative, she was enjoying the things she liked and she wasn’t hurting anyone.

She’s part of my past and hating her is hating the foundation of who I eventually became.

Just food for thought.

[trinandtonic-deactivated2022102]

I almost recently have reblogged this before but please friggin read it

[ruralpoly]

This is very insightful. Please read thoroughly.

[voiceofnature]

Tiny home on wheels by House-Box

[polynotes]

Design Your Own Relationships: Cohabitation

Do we want to live in the same city?

Do we want to live in the same house?

Do we want to share a bedrooom?

How often we do want to sleep in the same bed?

Do we want to share workspace?

Do we want to have private spaces?

Do we want to spend our evenings together?

Do we want to spend our weekends together?

Do we want to eat together?

How much time do we want to spend alone?

Do we want to know where the other person is when we’re not together?

How often do we want to stay in touch when we’re apart?

Do we want to live with other people?

How do we want to decide where we live?

How do we want to decide how we spend our time together?

[vomitingwords]

“You said, he loves you as much as you love him. Then, why the both of you are not still together?” he asked. “We both love each other. Yes, yes. And I’m not really sure why we’re not still together.” she answered very carefully as if the words she said hurt her heart like knives cutting through her veins. “Some may say it’s because of our priorities in life. But some may say that it’s not yet the perfect time. But who the hell really knows? Is it me? Is it him? I don’t know. I don’t even understand. They say that opposites do attract each other, while same signs do otherwise. We’re like walking on parallel lines with an infinite spaces in between, that even if we run faster, we will never bump on each other at the finish line. No matter how hard we try.”

ma.c.a // And sometimes, the world seems to be against us (via vomitingwords)