I hope youāre having a wonderful day. I need your help to find my type. Here are a few things I think might help:
1. I hate owing things or deeds. If I owe something, it means that thereās a probability of me being blackmailed to do something I donāt like.
2. I need a lot of space, but at the same time, at my lowest, crave for connections. These connections arenāt for the sake of security, but itās more about being able to feel things freely. A connection were I can just breath, enjoy myself, and sit and deal with my emotions. Itās like having this thing or person to which you could pour all your emotions to.
3. Iāve huge issues with being incompetent. Even if Iām in an extremely serious situation, my first instinct is to try figuring it out on my own. Somehow, trying to do things on my own gives me this sense of security- I can do it and so I wonāt have to depend on anyone. If I can do this, then I can control it to be the way I want.
4. A lot of these sound like 5, but then hereās the issue: Iām very reckless with my energy. If I see something that matches with what I want to accomplish or itās something on my todo list, Iāll do it even if Iām extremely overworked. Unlike 5s I donāt understand my energy levels that well and Iām extremely prone to overworking myself. Thatās pretty much the same with something I would like to eat, or something really beautiful looking. If itās nice, and if I want it right now, Iāll get it, no matter what happens.
5. Iām also mildly fearful. I tend to play worst case scenarios in my head, like what if the cars crash and topple and hit you while youāre standing on the sidewalk. But I barely or never act on my fears. I also tend to act like cp6 at times, if something bothers me, Iāll jump right in and fix it. The reason I do this is because: itās thrilling. Iām extremely scared, but the rush that you get once you start doing it is just..awesome ? ( itās also because I forget to think of the consequences but itās mostly this)
6. At my lowest, Iām very vengeful to the point I canāt think. Iām so blind with anger that it sucks all the energy out of me. I hate feeling like this cause I just canāt control it. Itās all over the place, ends up making me physically sick. I end up becoming that type of a person who believes in giving exactly what has been given to me. If youāve behaved like this with me, I want you to experience and feel all my emotions with the same intensity that you made me feel. (Iām like this even in normal setting, but it gets worse)
7. When Iām normal: Iām boring. I donāt have much energy and have a very sleepy vibe. My emotions donāt get to me ( it feels good). I have weird interests and I donāt bother much about how others in front of me perceive it. I love watching things from far, observing and learning everything from it. The presence of people I donāt like mildly annoys be, but in general I donāt care much about people. Iām content and happy sitting in my own space, doing my own thing.
Thank you for starting a blog like this to help people !
Hello anon, thank you for these details! Hope you're enjoying your typology journey :) It would be good to hear a bit more about your core motivations and fears before pinpointing a type (see my points below) but based just off this, 5w6 seems like a possibility.
1. I hate owing things or deeds. If I owe something, it means that thereās a probability of me being blackmailed to do something I donāt like. - This sounds like a combination of the 5 drive for independence with a 6 wing's distrust/suspicion of other people's motivations.
2. I need a lot of space, but at the same time, at my lowest, crave for connections. These connections arenāt for the sake of security, but itās more about being able to feel things freely. A connection were I can just breath, enjoy myself, and sit and deal with my emotions. Itās like having this thing or person to which you could pour all your emotions to. - This could be a typical pattern of introversion and socialising rather than a specific type.
3. Iāve huge issues with being incompetent. Even if Iām in an extremely serious situation, my first instinct is to try figuring it out on my own. Somehow, trying to do things on my own gives me this sense of security- I can do it and so I wonāt have to depend on anyone. If I can do this, then I can control it to be the way I want. - This points to 5.
4. A lot of these sound like 5, but then hereās the issue: Iām very reckless with my energy. If I see something that matches with what I want to accomplish or itās something on my todo list, Iāll do it even if Iām extremely overworked. Unlike 5s I donāt understand my energy levels that well and Iām extremely prone to overworking myself. Thatās pretty much the same with something I would like to eat, or something really beautiful looking. If itās nice, and if I want it right now, Iāll get it, no matter what happens. - The tendency of a 5 to 'withdraw' doesn't necessarily apply to items on a to-do list; you can have 5s who overwork themselves in their office. 'Withdrawal' refers more to specific areas of your life where you feel you need to stockpile your resources (could be material, relational, emotional, intellectual). For example, I know a 5 who is fiercely hardworking at her job but cagey with every ounce of her emotional and relational energy. I know another 5 who is very guarded with his intellectual knowledge and afraid to give it away. Regardless of your work ethic or your drive to fulfil your immediate wants, think about whether broader patterns of avarice or disengagement (the Achilles' heel of the 5) are underlying your life.
5. Iām also mildly fearful. I tend to play worst case scenarios in my head, like what if the cars crash and topple and hit you while youāre standing on the sidewalk. But I barely or never act on my fears. I also tend to act like cp6 at times, if something bothers me, Iāll jump right in and fix it. The reason I do this is because: itās thrilling. Iām extremely scared, but the rush that you get once you start doing it is just..awesome ? ( itās also because I forget to think of the consequences but itās mostly this) - This sounds like a 6 wing moving in and out of phobic and counterphobic (I agree with Enneagrammer's theory that 6s are rarely either phobic or counterphobic, but embody a mixture of the two).
6. At my lowest, Iām very vengeful to the point I canāt think. Iām so blind with anger that it sucks all the energy out of me. I hate feeling like this cause I just canāt control it. Itās all over the place, ends up making me physically sick. I end up becoming that type of a person who believes in giving exactly what has been given to me. If youāve behaved like this with me, I want you to experience and feel all my emotions with the same intensity that you made me feel. (Iām like this even in normal setting, but it gets worse) - This isn't enough information to go on as it could be an anger management issue or the effect of negative life experiences. If you regularly feel this way, it could indicate an 8 in the tritype.
7. When Iām normal: Iām boring. I donāt have much energy and have a very sleepy vibe. My emotions donāt get to me ( it feels good). I have weird interests and I donāt bother much about how others in front of me perceive it. I love watching things from far, observing and learning everything from it. The presence of people I donāt like mildly annoys be, but in general I donāt care much about people. Iām content and happy sitting in my own space, doing my own thing. - This could indicate the 5 stance of a withdrawn observer, preferring to watch from afar, but you need to reflect on whether your preference for observing and learning speaks to more deeply-rooted fears of engaging with the world.
So, overall, the info you've given me leans towards 5w6, but some of it is too generic to determine core motivation (that is, we need to think about *why* you act the way you do, not the actions in themselves). So feel free to send me further info if you'd like more input/clarification. Above all, it would be good to reflect on your fundamental fears and desires in life. When you look back at all the times you've been scared or anxious, what core fear has been driving you the most often? Do you often experience the desire to stay detached, keep your head down, stay on the sidelines, avoid risk, hoard or stockpile resources (information/skills/knowledge), and rarely feel ready to directly engage with the world (5 tendencies?) Or is there something else that drives you?
Don't worry if finding your type takes some time - it sounds like youāve already made a great start with this list! Remember to look at the root causes driving your behaviours over the majority of your life. Recalling your childhood, adolescence and early 20s can help as these stages of life often show up type in a raw and unfiltered way. Good luck, my friend, and Iām here if youād like further support :)