SweetHeart

Breathe. Tomorrow is coming.

[thoughts-memories]

[sosuperawesome]

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[tom-nippleston]

The people in the apartment below me are playing “Never Have I Ever” and I’m smoking on my porch creeping on their game

[tom-nippleston]

Guy 1: Never have I ever INTIONALLY walked in on my parents having sex Gal 1: fuck you brandon! It wasn’t intentional! I didn’t know what they were doing!!! Brandon (Guy 1): Shut up Katy no one is THAT oblivious take your drink

[tom-nippleston]

Katy: Never have I ever LOST a wet tshirt contest

(Good job Katy. You do you. Proud of you boo)

[tom-nippleston]

Gal 2: Never have I ever pierced my genitals Brandon: IT WAS IN FOR LIKE A MONTH! Katy: Whatever bitch, take a drink you Prince Albert having douche Brandon: I’m being singled out I hate you all

[tom-nippleston]

Guy 2: Never have I ever had a threescore [Pause] Guy 2: WHAT THE FUCK KATY?!?!?!?! Katy: Shut up Andrew it’s before we even knew each other this was years ago!!! [Pause] Andrew: And you won’t even watch porn with me…

(the family is disintegrating)

[tom-nippleston]

Brandon: Never have I ever been in such a confrontational game of Never Have I Ever….

[People saying ‘cheers’]

(stop fighting guys you’re tearing this family apart…..)

[tom-nippleston]

Andrew: Never have I ever had sex WITH a piece of food. [Pause] Andrew: Dude Brandon: Dude Katy: Dude omg Gal 2: what? Omg EVERY girl has practiced giving head with a banana! Katy: Um no Ester. SOME of us just practice on dicks. Ester: what the fuck though. Whatever.

(Don’t let them kink shame you Ester I still love you)

[tom-nippleston]

#TeamEster #BananaSplits

[tom-nippleston]

Andrew is testing a banana. Go for it andrew. Explore your wild side #TeamEster #TeamKink

[tom-nippleston]

Brandon: Never have I ever been called a fuckboy Katy and Andrew: TO YOUR FACE Brandon: Go fuck a banana Andrew

#TeamBananaFucking

[tom-nippleston]

Ester: Never have I ever had a crush on a family member Brandon: [random fumbling noises] Katy: brandon omg ew Andrew: yeah man come the fuck on wtf man its 2016 Brandon: SHE WAS MY COUSIN AND I WAS 13 IT’S NOT LIKE SHE WAS MY SISTER AND IT WAS JUST A CRUSH NOTHING HAPPENED Ester: methinks thou dost protest too fucking much Brandon: NEVER TELLING YOU SHIT AGAIN Andrew: Chug your drink, Sir IncestsALot Brandon: Chug a fucking banana Andrew

#TeamBananaFucking #TeamWhatTheFuckBrandon

[tom-nippleston]

Katy and Andrew have gone home in an Uber to apparently sex it up. Alway use a designated driver, kids. And always put protection on your Banana.

#BananaCreamPie #GamesOverKids #TeamEster

[hotmenandotherdistractions]

This is spectacular.

[mtv]

goals

[tastefullyoffensive]

(via huskybuskyparty)

[sw-or-gtfo-deactivated20211219]

my bf has many interesting stories and observations from his new job as a 911 operator

my favorite is how meandering people are, even in the midst of a terrible emergency

they respond to “what is the emergency” with “well, the thing is, four weeks ago–”

and then he’s like “WHAT IS THE EMERGENCY RIGHT NOW”

and they’re like “so what happened this morning was, i said to my wife, i said–”

“WHAT IS CURRENTLY HAPPENING AT THIS MOMENT”

“oh i’m having a heart attack”

my second favorite is how specific he has to get sometimes

like, “what is your emergency?”

“i’m sitting in a pool of blood.”

“… is it… your blood?”

“yes i think so”

“do you know where it’s coming from?”

“probably the stab wound”

“have you been stabbed?”

“oh yah definitely”

[lizawithazed]

In all fairness shock is a hell of a drug

[luvbey]

i want to live by the ocean but also in the forest but also in the mountains but also in a big city but also in the countryside u feel me

[lexiepeterss]

this is me

[lledxela]

“Todd why is the office flooded?”

“Aesthetic.”

[fuckkkkkkkktumblah-deactivated2]

no

[fakehermes-deactivated20170207]

[fuckkkkkkkktumblah-deactivated2]

NO

[shiropoint]

This is mesmerizing to watch.

[fuu-dog-treats]

actually physically painful to watch because you know months were spent masking all those frames for each of the kajillions of transitions in this

[ask-ickle-mod]

[thatsthat24]

Holy………..shmokes…….

[enyabella]

Hair dying time is my favourite time.

[poryqon]

“When the weather gets cold in a few months you will complain about it then, so enjoy this heat” I will bitch about it now, I will bitch about it then, I will bitch about everything there is ever to bitch about, because guess what, Im a bitch

[elpiething]

I feel like this needs to be Seussified. 

I will bitch about heat.  I will bitch about cold.  I will bitch about sunshine, and about growing old.  I will bitch about everything, inside and out. You will find there is nothing I can’t bitch about. 

[themightytej]

[butterflyinthewell]

I’m laughing so hard at this post right now omg.

[thesociaijusticecourier-deactiv]

Perfection.

[sleek-siren]

I love it

[enyabella]

My best bud. ❤️ #mydogisbetterthanyours #sorrynotsorry

[kayrukitsune]

My responses get saltier every day

[daddyapo-deactivated20190625]

New rule, non muslims can’t say the word jihad. Until you stop conflating a word that means personal struggle with faith and temptation with terrorism youre just not allowed to say it.

[moody-poet-deactivated20180227]

I’m not a Muslim but I just thought I would reblog this because I think it’s definitely worth listening to.

[daddyapo-deactivated20190625]

It’s totally okay for non muslims to reblog this, and i encourage it. Im just glad you’re listening.

[neuroatypically-speaking]

Oh god, finally someone said it. Every time I see words like “jihadist” I want to scream, but I’m not Muslim, so I wasn’t sure I should say anything. 

Jihad means struggle. It doesn’t mean holy war or anything like it. In fact, there is no word in Islam for holy war, because the nature of Islam does not leave room for holy war. Islam has a juridical system, not a Pope who can just say “Go wage holy war.” Conflating the personal nature of jihad with violence is so very gross and it needs to stop. Period.

[geeko-kat]

Actually, there’s another word non-muslims in the media shouldn’t use:

Allahu Akbar. It’s not a statement of terrorism. It means “god is great”. It’s something we say to praise our lord. It’s what we say when we pray. It’s not a statement of terrorism. Allahu Akbar doesn’t mean terrorism stop using it as one

[enyabella]

Heaven. Regrammed from @onceuponacouture

[missbombshellxx-deactivated2016]