Not Now Bicurious Mouse Thrall Hayden

THE ALPHA OF ALPHAS, THE APEX OF APEX PREDATORS, DEATH, DESTORYER OF WORLDS, THE DEMON WOLF deucalion or d • any pronouns who give a shit sideblog for academic discussion of my cringe ass interests ONLY.

[cuppydogshane]

has ilya rozanov seen dracula flow

[fujoshane]

hudson voice aika put on that song that i like.....the get so gay off that tequila one. the one that goes "i get so gay off that tequila"

[hollanovbiter]

no like the craziest part about hollanov is that when shane’s situationship of 8 years started crying his first instinct was to crawl in his lap. like what an insane thing to do for someone you don’t know that well. and of course freak4freak ilya eats it up

[ilyasmole]

we all have ourshane...i have myshane...but ilya is the one with My Shane

[sunnys1de-d0wn]

myshane is an ilya enabler, not an ilya apologist.

[gayhockeyshow]

Hudson by Aika Flores

[hocceius]

where would rpf be without the character of nondescript hotel room

[emziess]

Hudson Williams as Shane Hollander Heated Rivalry, S01E04

[hollanderthoughts]

“Shane are you gay” this “Shane are you gay” that like idk man it depends

[hollanderthoughts]

If my schedule lines up with his that week, obviously

[totearup]

One of the things the time jump between Heated Rivalry and Long Game robs us of is seeing the effect coming out to his team has on Shane in real time. And that experience does a lot to inspire his anxiety and responses in TLG.

No one will ever convince me that there's not a connection between Shane coming out to his team, it not going well, and Shane volunteering to start an even more intensely restrictive diet than he was already on, that also punishes his relationship. Just like I will always view Shane's anxiety around Ilya coming out to the Centaurs/his friends as a trauma response based on how badly it went for him.

One of the most heartbreaking parts about Shane's performance diet to me, is how in both My Dinner with Hayden and TLG Shane and Ilya mention how they love to cook together, and it's like a fun couple thing for them. It's a point of connection, something they do together aside from hockey. And, unlike hockey, it's something they don't compete about.

Shane's performance diet robs them of this. There's a scene in TLG where Ilya has done a bunch of research to find a meal they can cook together that fits in Shane's diet. And Shane is delighted by this. But, notably, he puts no effort into finding other recipes they can do this with again. He tells Rose he likes the discipline of his diet, and I don't think he means just in regards to what and where he's eating, I think he also means in his relationship.

There's another major change we see in Shane between books. At the end of Heated Rivalry he's talking fairly optimisticly about both of them coming out to friends.

This is at the cottage. Very soon after they've decided they're in a real relationship. It's hard not to compare this with Shane's sheer panic in TLG when Ilya talks about coming out to Troy - not even about them, just about being bi - and also to the possibility of even meeting the rest of his team.

So, what's happened to Shane in the last three years that makes him go from joking around about coming out to his friends to rabidly controlling his relationship and protecting every small detail of it that he possibly can?

The fucking Voyaguers.

[iwrotemrtambourineman]

shane hollander spends the whole of his life going “leopards are stalking me and they are going to eat me if they catch me” and everyone laughs it off and goes that’s not going to happen that’s crazy and then the leopards that have been stalking him do catch him and eat him and everyone’s response is not “we’re so sorry for not believing you about the leopards” its “well getting eaten by leopards wasn’t that bad, was it?”

[themoonandmyman]

Doing a re-read and can we say Thank you connor for imbuing Ilya with a little more Fagginess than is present in the text. just a little extra sauce….. some Peacock energy… a dash of Joie De Vivre…

[twinkwolf]

i can’t stop thinking about ilya clubbing circa 2011. diesel jeans, shitty prada button up, hair absolutely CRISPY with gel. cliff marleau on his left tricked out head to toe in ed hardy. cloud of fucking paco robanne in the booth. cîroc with a sparkler sticking out of the neck. “this my fucking song, marly!” and it’s david guetta’s ‘where them girls at.’ he’s so drunk, he’s so loud, he’s got the drips, he’s spent $2300 in two hours. no one knows he’s gonna be gay married in ten years. i have to cry!

[mina-logan]

“Now MR. Hollander, what does Montreal have to do to win tonight?”

[smokingrozanov]

Shane Hollander would love to say don’t piss me off. Because like literally don’t piss him off

[wtf-is-hockey]

I still prefer to imagine that Shane initiates in the tuna melt scene because he got swept up in the heat of the moment. I know a lot of people headcanon that he initiated because he was already freaking out, and felt the need to factory reset the situation, get back to casual fuckbuddy territory, but the thing is that when he initiates he is so tender, and reverent. He’s in no rush. That just isn’t how you initiate a fuck for a fuck’s sake and I don’t think Shane would be able to appear so at ease if inside he was panicking or strategizing. He is so gone in that moment. And a moment ago Ilya just grinned at him like he made his day, and pulled him into his chest, and started playing with his hair, being physically affectionate with him in a way he never had before, and I just think it filled Shane to the brim with affection for Ilya, and that Shane was overcome with the need to channel it, the way people often are when someone they love says or does something that floods them with affection, and so he started kissing Ilya’s chest. And then it was as vulnerable and intimate as their first time anal, but to Shane’s horror, this time it was vulnerable and intimate because of him. They crossed the line together but he initiated and he led and he had done so without stopping himself or even realizing it was happening and it was this that made him freak out. He knew now what he wanted and couldn’t lie to himself about it anymore and he knew he wouldn’t be able to stop himself in the future either, so he fled.

[scartafacci]